*- (again from last chapter) a kym is a sheikan marital unit composed of anywhere from two to five individuals. By sheikan reasoning, if having one spouse is good, then having three spouses is three times as good.

##

As tired as Sheik was, he couldn't seem to fall asleep. He had a little bit of a headache, and his bed was doing everything in its power to make itself uncomfortable. Sheik tried lying on his back, lying on his side, dangling various limbs over the edge of the bed, lying diagonally... He found a nice position on his stomach, but scratched that idea when it became apparent that he was smothering himself with his own pillow.

*Gasp!* [Ooookay. Maybe I need to take a walk, or something.]

Hoisting himself out of bed, our hero stretched out a few cricks in his back, grumbled to himself for a few moments, and sauntered out the back door. He almost let his eyes wander up to the stars, but caught himself. [After what happened last time? No, sir. I've learned my lesson.]

Sticking to more open streets while trying not to attract any undue attention from the guards, Sheik wended his way through the sleeping town, hoping (and failing) to make himself drowsy. Eventually, he made it all the way to the tree, and was about to go on, when he heard a small yet infinitely morose sigh. [Eh?] Glancing down, Sheik espied a hyl... a zo... a man of some description sitting under the aforementioned tree with his face cupped in his hands. [Hmm... no shirt, no shoes; nothing but some trousers made out of sacking and a...mohawk. I guess there's always someone who has it worse.]

Feeling his polite upbringing nagging at him again, Sheik paused and said, "Good evening."

The figure on the ground looked Sheik up and down before grunting and sighing again. "I'd like to know what's so good about an evening like this."

"Well..." Sheik began, rather inauspiciously, "There aren't any clouds, it's warm, the crickets are chirping..."

"Crickets are disgusting creatures," the man interrupted, "I can't stand insects. They're disgusting." He continued, now in a sort of drone, as though he was repeating a favorite mantra. "I'm disgusting. My own mother and father are disgusting. You're disgusting, too."

Sheik valiantly tried to keep his eyebrow from quirking upward, but just couldn't do it. [And with that weird and insulting outburst, I really must be going.] But then his conscience ruined his escape. [Sure, Sheik. Go on and leave. Maybe he'll go jump in the river later, and then won't you feel stupid.] Muttering "Stupid conscience" under his breath, Sheik settled himself down on the grass. From this angle, he noticed that the man had a definite blue-green tinge to his skin, and some webbing between his fingers. He also wasn't quite a man, more of a teenager. [Whoa. That's...different.]

Not knowing how to keep the conversation going, Sheik eventually settled for "Why?"

The blue kid seemed a tad surprised that someone was still there. "Why what?"

Sheik shrugged. "Why disgusting?"

The kid rolled his eyes and leaned back. "You're not blind; you can tell what I am."

[I didn't know there was going to be a quiz! I always choke on quizzes!] "Er...No. No, I can't really tell. Male? Young? Angst-ridden?"

"I'm a hybrid. Duh. My father is a zora."

It took a little while to soak in, but then Sheik got it. "Oh. ...Ohhh. Neat!" The kid jumped. "I've never met a hybrid before."

The kid glared sidelong at Sheik suspiciously. "You...don't think that's disgusting?"

Sheik shrugged. "When it comes to affairs of the heart, sheikah are pretty..." he searched for a hip teenage word to use and missed by several years, "jake, as a general rule." [I...think...]

The kid stared at him. "Hey...yeah. You would be, wouldn't you?"

Squirming under intense scrutiny, Sheik queried, "Huh?"

"You're the creepy little sheikah guy who's stalking the potion clerk, aren't you?"

[What?! I never! Lies! It's nothing but vicious lies, I say!] Sputtering indignantly, Sheik barked, "I am NOT stalking Victor, and it's nobody's business, anyway!" Listening to himself, he came to the conclusion that he could, perhaps, have worded that better. [Fabulous. This is why you're supposed to think before you speak, doofus.] Turning a little pink, he added, "Does the whole town know about this?"

The kid shrugged. "If I know about it, then probably everyone else does, too. Except maybe the gravedigger and Crazy Tony in the windmill. They used to gossip about me."

Sheik looked hopeful. "Really? So, they'll get bored soon and forget about this, right?"

"Maybe, but you're still disgusting."

"Yeah, well no one asked for your opinion, fish-boy." Then, indirectly asking fish-boy's opinion, Sheik said, "I don't understand why this rumor has caught on so well..."

The kid looked appraisingly at the fretful sheikah. "You don't?" Catching Sheik's confused look, he said, "I mean, you're kind of...obvious."

"Obvious?" [Oh, brother...]

"Well, for one thing, you move your hands a lot when you talk."

Clasping his hands tightly in his lap, Sheik snapped, "Who doesn't?"

"And you dress...colorfully."

"It's called only being able to afford scrap material."

The kid went on, listing things on his fingers. "You play a harp, and you have a funny accent."

"What accent? This isn't my first language, you know. And a musical instrument is a musical instrument. Those are both completely irrelevant points. They all are." Sheik stopped waving his arms around and crossed them, offended.

The kid almost looked pitying. "Well, no one's ever seen you with any girls besides your family."

"Aha!" Sheik beamed triumphantly. "But they've never seen me with any men, either, so there! None of you have a leg to stand on."

"Except Victor."

Sheik's smile withered. "Oh, yeah. I can explain that."

"Oh?"

"See, my cousin likes him. You know how girls are."

The kid shrugged a bit and looked away. He dearly wanted to know how girls were.

"Anyway," Sheik went on, matter-of-factly, "me and my cousin are very close. And I know she likes him, so I get nervous around him on her behalf."

The boy stared at him for a long while, digesting this. "You...get nervous...because your cousin likes him?"

Sheik nodded. "Sympathy nervousness. I'm glad someone around here is beginning to understand."

"And...blush...and giggle."

"I don't giggle!" Sheik snapped. "Mighty almost-warriors do not giggle! I simply chuckle now and then because I'm just one of those footloose, happy-go-lucky people!"

"Okay, okay..."

"That's right, and don't you forget it!" Sheik took a deep breath and stopped waving his arms around...again. "Sorry. That kind of thing doesn't usually bother me, but I've been under a lot of stress lately."

"Working too hard?"

Sheik nodded.

"Well, you might as well relax a little. Our futile, insignificant lives are like teardrops on the ocean. Nothing you ever do will matter, really." With that, the kid went back to staring at the ground.

Our hero sat blinking for a while, then stood and, with a polite Sorry-I-really-should-be-going-now fled the scene for home. This time he couldn't help but stargaze a little, reinforcing the five-inch-tall feeling he'd gotten from the depressing hybrid kid. If he'd been watching where he was going, he may have not walked directly into Captain Dominic, but he wasn't, and he did.

[@#$%@#!]

"Why hello there," Dominic chirruped, grinning in a very unsettling way. "It's a little late to be out walking, isn't it?"

Sheik gulped and tried to look harmless. It was surprisingly easy. "Oh...uh...hi. You know, some guy asked me that very same question a few weeks ago when he mugged me. ...He was grinning just like that, too. And I yelled and yelled for help, but I guess the guards were all busy." [Heh, heh. Score one for me! Zing!]

Dominic frowned. "You think you're pretty clever, don't you, sheikah? Well, what's your favorite color? You have five seconds; go!"

Sheik wasted the first couple seconds looking as though he'd been blind-sided by a singing two-by-four. Then, his mouth caught up with his panicked brain. "Purple! No, wait...green!" [Aaaaah, curses, I KNEW I was going to choke. I hate quizzes.] "Can I have a do-over?"

"Aha! Thought you could trick me, eh?" Dominic waved a triumphant finger irritatingly close to Sheik's face. "But I'm too sharp for that one."

"What one?" Our hero was utterly confused, to say the least.

Dominic leaned down so as to be eye-level with his bewildered victim. "I know you're up to something, sheikah. And as soon as I've gathered sufficient evidence (which isn't much, my friend)," he clapped his hands together, making Sheik jump. "I shall strike! So be warned, sheikah: I'm watching you. Where you go, what you do, who you speak with, when you eat, while you sleep, always watching." He pointed at his eyes and then pointed menacingly in Sheik's general direction for effect.

Sheik listened to all of this with the same wide-eyed, slack-jawed awe he'd had during most of Dominic's ranting. Only the last bit seemed to stick in his brain, and in self-defense he seized on it. "You...watch me while I'm sleeping?" He pulled a face and crossed his arms. "Ewwwwww! And people in this town think I'M a weirdo... That's really creepy. Kind of pathetic, too."

Dominic's jaw dropped and he sputtered for a moment. "Wha...no... I didn't mean it like THAT!"

While Dominic grew increasingly mortified, an evil idea sprang up in Sheik's sleep-deprived mind. [Twisted......wrong............but funny. No, I just can't pass this up; it's too good.] Sighing, he assumed a pitying expression and twirled his hair around one of his fingers. "I mean, if you wanted to, you know, take me out to dinner or something, all you had to do was ask." [Yes, very wrong, but his face is too priceless.]

It was Dominic's turn to have a run-in with the warbling lumber. He looked positively ashen.

[I wish I had a feather to knock him over with!] "I guess it makes sense now," Sheik went on, mercilessly, "Making up excuses to come into my house, showing such an interest in my daily activities, following me around like a lost puppy, sneaking furtive glances in my direction..."

Dominic made a strangled noise in his throat. Those were SUPPOSED to have been menacing glares!

Sheik debated the question for a while, and then decided that, yes, he would go the extra furlong and flutter his eyelashes. "The double-speak. You even had me worried that I was in some kind of trouble with the law, for a while. But now I see right through it! That color question was a little too obvious, you sly devil!"

Somehow, Dominic managed to squeak out, "It was...?" He couldn't have been more lost and scared if he'd wandered into the Lost Woods at night and heard howling.

Chuckling, Sheik lightly slapped the poor captain as though he'd made a hilarious joke. "Why, sure! Everybody knows the color question. So..." [And now for the killing blow! Muahahahaha!] He leaned in closer, gazed up from under his lashes, and lowered his voice to a husky whisper. "What's YOUR favorite color, captain?"

Just short of running away screaming, Dominic gingerly shoved Sheik away. "Oh, look at the time, I have to finish my rounds, well, no worries here...carry on, citizen!" He turned and walked quickly in the other direction.

Not able to resist a parting shot, Sheik called, "Come visit me any time! I live alone now, and it sure gets lonely." The terror-stricken captain made a bit of a yelp and started running.

Sheik was barely able to make it all the way home and safely inside the house before he burst out laughing. [Oh, that was so great! I couldn't have planned it better!] Some ten minutes later, Sheik wiped the tears from his eyes and got up to fix some sort of supper, rubbing the stitch in his side as he worked.

"Hoo, boy," he sighed between the occasional chortle as he chose one of the eggs he'd been able to buy and plunked it into the small pot of boiling water over the fire. "That ought to keep him out of my hair for a while. That stupid rumor came in handy."

After a light supper of one hard-boiled egg and a parsnip, Sheik yawned and dragged himself upstairs to bed.

"Hee hee hee...Genius!"

*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzz*

Around seven hours and one very weird dream later, Sheik peeled one eye to glare at the sun. Waiting a couple minutes for the usual morning icky feeling to wear off, Sheik noticed that he really didn't feel that magnificent. Getting up and stumbling over to his makeshift mirror, he found that he was indeed somewhat paler than usual, except for two warm-feeling pink patches under his eyes. On a whim, he stuck his tongue out and examined it. [And it's...a tongue. How is that supposed to help, anyway?] His attempt at self-diagnosis over, our hero ran a brush through his hair, tidied his clothes as best he could, and went downstairs to scrounge up some breakfast.

Since he had nowhere to be right away, Sheik decided to put some time into preparing something fancy. He ripped off a small chunk of bread (civilians weren't allowed to own knives, someone might get hurt), fished another egg out of the basket, and hunted through the cupboards until he found Impa's old cast-iron pan and a wooden spoon to use as a spatula. As an afterthought, he also smeared a tiny smidgen of lard onto the pan.

Sheik carried his various utensils and set them down on the hearth while he stoked up the fire again. [One of these days I'm going to have to find more wood...] Sitting down cross-legged in front of the pan, he steeled himself for the challenging task at hand.

[Okay, frying an egg isn't complicated; even I can do this.] Very carefully, he cracked the egg into the pan. Then, he very carefully tried to pick all the little bits of shell out of the pan. [STUPID eggshell...] Balancing the pan on the little iron rack above the fire, Sheik scooted the uncooked parts around with the spoon and realizing very quickly that spoons don't make especially good spatulas, for obvious reasons. When the egg looked about done, he set the bread into the pan as well to let it get crunchy around the edges. Wrapping some of his bandages around his palm (no way was he making THAT mistake again), he returned the hot pan to the hearthstones and managed to transfer the egg onto the piece of 'toast' with the spoon.

Approximately forty-two seconds later, he finished mopping up what was left of the broken yolk and lard with what was left of the bread crust and polished it off. [I think I'm getting a little better at this whole cooking thing... I didn't even burn the egg that badly this time.]

Feeling a tad better after getting something in his stomach, Sheik puttered around the house aimlessly for a while, finally got the floor swept, and eventually convinced himself to go outside. [The sunlight would probably do me some good.]

It turned out to be dark and overcast outside, but the breeze felt nice. Wondering what to do with his holiday while it lasted, Sheik noticed one of his neighbors hanging her family's laundry to dry. In a good mood despite his slightly crummy feeling, Sheik smiled and waved, not that she could see the smile.

"Hello, Mrs. Thatcher!" he chirped.

Goodwife Thatcher's eyes narrowed down to mere slits, and with a soft 'humph!' she turned away. Sheik stared at her back in hurt confusion for a moment, then shrugged and continued on his way. [Geez, someone's sure grouchy today...]

For some reason, most of the other townspeople he met on the road either gave him dagger looks or ignored him entirely, and the twins were nowhere to be seen. Sheik lingered under the tree for a minute or two, feeling strangely snubbed.

"Well, I can tell when I'm not wanted," he announced to the world at large, and stalked off to the graveyard, where he could amuse himself, thank-you-very-much.

Upon entering the graveyard, the first thing Sheik noticed was the sound of a shovel disrupting the otherwise silent sanctity of the cemetery. Walking a little farther in, he saw a spray of dirt fly out of a rather sizable hole, and then the gravedigger as he climbed out and mopped his forehead with a rag. [Well, he's guaranteed to be friendlier than those ingrates...]

Sheik had been on friendly terms with the gravedigger since they'd been children, Sheik having few friends on account of his poor grasp of Common Hylian and overall dorky-ness, and Sebastian on account of being...weird. Weird and fascinated with the dead...and undead. For him, having one of the Shadow Folk as a friend was unbearably cool. Sheik was just grateful for someone who didn't think a great idea for a game would be 'let's push the little red-eyed sissy into the mud.'

"Hi, Sheik!"

"Hello, Bas," Sheik replied amiably, glad to know that at least one person still held him in some esteem.

Giving a quick fond look over a job well done, the gravedigger settled himself down on an inviting tombstone. "Haven't seen much of you lately."

"I haven't had much time to myself."

"Making social calls on your day off, huh?"

Plopping down onto a convenient tombstone himself, Sheik let out a derisive snort. "I would, I guess, but it seems I'm not so popular in town right now."

Bas looked deep in thought for a second, then, "Oh, yeah! I remember hearing about that. If you ask me, which no one does, but anyway... I think that clerk is awfully whiny. Some people have never had any admirers at all, with pretty grim prospects for the future. Anything's better than nothing." He shrugged and smiled slightly. "But I digress." Seeing that his companion looked somewhat put-out, he added, "Don't worry, I'll like you no matter what."

Sheik rolled his eyes. "Thank you. I can't possibly express how deeply moved I am. Does everyone need to talk about this?"

Our hero's slightly morbid friend looked thoughtful. "Weeellll... I don't think Crazy Tony counts, since he doesn't understand half of what's said to him, and the ghosts don't care. See? Not everyone is talking about it."

"Dare I ask who told you?"

"Would you believe Grog told me?"

Sheik raised one eyebrow. "Who?" [Who names an innocent kid after an alcoholic beverage?]

"The zora kid."

The sigh that escaped Sheik's lips could have rivaled one of the glum hybrid's own. "Of course..."

"Yeah, it kinda caught me off-guard. He doesn't usually go in for gossip; he only mentioned it because he thought it was disgusting." Bas knit his brow. "Come to think of it, that seems to cover a pretty broad range of topics..."

Sheik nodded, glad that the focus of conversation had shifted away from him. [I'll bet it's all the twins' fault, too.] "I met him yesterday. He's a bit of a...how can I put it diplomatically?" A few seconds later he gave up the search and said, "Well, I guess I can't. He's a real downer."

Chuckling in an amused yet respectfully subdued manner (force of habit), Bas replied, "You're telling me! Even the ghosts think he's depressing, and they're not always the liveliest bunch themselves." The gravedigger bowed his head under Sheik's withering glare. "Sorry."

"You should be. That was horrible." Sheik walked over to the edge of the grave and peered into it. "You're up awfully early just to dig."

"Work's been kinda slow this month, and the weather was too nice to waste, so I figured I'd sleep at night for a while as a change of pace."

Sheik glanced up at the clouds, thinking that the weather struck him as being a bit on the gloomy side, but decided not to bring it up. "I see. So, who's this one for?"

The tall, gangly man nodded at the new marker lying by the grave. "Some beggar by the name of Frank, I guess. Apparently he went peacefully in his sleep at ninety-eight."

"How'd you find that out?" Bas was one of the few hylians who could interact with various spooks, but Sheik doubted that Frank would feel talkative so soon after his demise.

"Some of his friends brought him in to the undertaker. Real nice old guys; said their row of empty crates would feel awfully gloomy without him."

"Well that's...sweet."

Bas grinned and pushed back a lock of salt-and-pepper hair that had escaped from its ponytail. "Yeah, I needed something to cheer me up. Most of my tenants have been pretty down lately. Sharp and Flatt are the only two that have been at all sociable."

[I wonder what that's about? Hmmm...] Sheik stored that little tidbit away for later. Maybe Rauru would know why ghosts got depressed. "Oh? How are they doing?" It was actually a fairly stupid question. If Sheik had been executed for political dissent, he knew he probably wouldn't float around singing happy songs about rainbows and fluffy kittens. [Not that I'd do that under the best of circumstances...]

Bas shrugged. "Oh, you know. Same old, same old. Once you're dead, your schedule is more or less set." He studied Sheik for a moment with a concerned expression on his distressingly pale face. "Speaking of which, are you okay? You don't look so good."

Sheik glared. Now that Bas mentioned it, he was getting a bit of a headache. ...And stomachache...and he felt a bit chilled. [Just when I'd gotten my mind off of it, too...] "This coming from someone who looks like he's had blood let about five times too many?"

Bas huffed. "I have poor circulation, you don't have any excuse. ...You're all clammy, too." He felt Sheik's forehead with the back of his hand.

[Ah, nice and cool...]

Bas frowned. "You feel warm."

Our hero wiped the contented smile off his face. "Only because your hands are like blocks of ice."

"Do I need to dig another hole?"

Sheik crossed his arms. "No, you don't need to dig another hole! I'm fine; I'm just a little burnt out, that's all."

"Okay, okay," Bas said, with a placating gesture. "Maybe you're not as bad as you look. Just be careful, all right?"

Sheik rolled his eyes and grinned. "Yes, mother."

Cuffing Sheik lightly in reproach, Bas leaned on his shovel. "All I'm saying is sometimes it doesn't take long for this stuff to turn serious. I like you and all, but I don't think I'm ready to deal with your restless spirit twenty-four-seven just yet."

"Yeah, I am pretty rowdy." Sheik sighed. "Well, all right. I'll try to take it easy for your sake."

"Thanks."

The conversation drifted off into small talk for a couple hours, after which Sebastian decided that it was probably time for a short nod, and suggested that Sheik do the same.

Unfortunately, his siesta was ruined by the sound of Zelda daintily tramping up the stairs. Upon entering the room, she crossed straight over to the bed and shook the prone figure thereon.

"Sheik! Why are you sleeping in the middle of the afternoon?"

With some effort, Sheik uncurled from the nice, warm little ball he'd curled himself into, sniffled, and squinted up at his 'cousin' while he waited for the cobwebs to clear out of his brain. "Buh?"

Zelda leaned down and spoke a little louder and very distinctly. "Rauru says Link's going to the ice caverns on the other side of-"

"Okay, okay! I'm tired, not deaf!" Sheik grumbled, dragging what he presumed to be his weary carcass out of bed and tuning his harp.

"Right. Sorry. He's going to the ice caverns on the other side of Lord Jabu-Jabu's spring, and you need to meet him there."

Sheik opened one of his dresser drawers and fished out another shirt to pull over the one he had. It wasn't the thickest material, but it had long sleeves and hung down to mid-thigh. In the absence of a cloak, it would have to do. "Why can't he meet me someplace warmer?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask him?" Zelda dug through her apron pockets until she found a small flask of red liquid. She handed it to Sheik, saying, "I told Widow Spinkly you'd be going there, so she mixed it with a little brandy."

Sheik stared at the Phoenix Tears in disbelief. "And you didn't even ask her? Nayru... She DOES have a heart!" [However small and shriveled it may be, there it is.]

{Sheik!}

Sighing and muttering an apology, he pictured the nasty cold wasteland of the spring. "Well, I suppose I'd better go, then."

"Take care."

When he reappeared at the spring, Sheik decided that that was the first time he remembered the void being warmer than an actual place. Pulling his hands into his shirtsleeves, he trudged through the snow and clambered up onto the big chunk of ice that had replaced the big chunk of whale that had been there previously. On reaching the other side, he found, much to his dismay, that the ice over the rest of the spring was broken up into floes, and there was not one, but two possible cavern entrances to choose from. [Well, isn't this just @#$%*&#@ing wonderful...]

Deciding that the Goddesses wouldn't likely make anything easy for him, Sheik decided that the farthest entrance was probably the one he needed. Gauging the distance carefully, Sheik made the first jump, nearly tipping the small floe over and making his heart skip several beats.

"Ohhhh, dear..." After a few more such close shaves, our hero found himself at the entrance to the cavern. And as an added bonus, his fear-induced racing pulse warmed him up a bit.



As he walked inside, however, he noticed several things that seemed to detract a bit from the overall iciness of the cavern. In the first place, it was too warm. Still bloody cold, but not cold enough for ice. In the second place, it was a fairy fountain. [Oh, of all the miserable luck!] Glaring upward, our hero shook one tiny mortal fist. "Sure, everyone THINKS you're all goodness and light, but I know better!"

"Who are you yelling at?"

Startled by a slightly otherworldly female voice and fully expecting divine retribution, Sheik was relieved to see only a Great Fairy. For the fairy's part, she stared back at him with a look of vaguely deranged concern, a carbon copy of her sister in everything but the stocking cap, leg warmers, and mittens.

Embarrassed, Sheik looked down at the floor. "Oh...No one in particular. Just...um...composing poetry. Never know when inspiration...will strike, I guess."

The fairy giggled. It was distressing. "That was poetry?" She giggled again, and Sheik began to wonder if this was the fairy that her sister had said was off her magical rocker...

Our hero began to edge back toward the door. "...Uh, yeah. Free-verse. Very avant-garde." He had no idea what that meant, but it sounded artistic.

"Wait!" the fairy yelled as she saw him moving. Our fearless sheikan warrior felt faint. "You found my fountain, so I have to give you something." She giggled again.

"Oh, no, that's not necessary," Sheik stammered, finding himself being dragged to the edge of the fountain by the unstable fairy. Aside from trickling water, a slight squeaking noise from Sheik's boot-heels could also be heard. "It was really no trouble."

Upon reaching the fountain's edge, the fairy let go and beamed. "Nonsense! I must give you something; it's tradition! Besides," she went on, while a few of those blasted tendrils started forming out of the water, "it's not as though I get many visitors."

The tendrils started swirling upward, glowing softly, and Sheik was lifted neatly off the ground...upside down. [Great...I'm already nauseous; this will really get it going...]

The GF giggled nervously. "Whoopsie-daisy! I just never CAN get that right... Oh well..." The tendrils flashed green briefly, and then let Sheik down, just slowly enough so as not to cause him any grievous bodily harm.

Sitting up, with a few pops from his spine, Sheik opened his hand to find a green bauble of some sort. [Shiny.]

The fairy smiled. "That's called Farore's Wind. If you use it once, you can set up a teleport checkpoint." Waving off Sheik's impending interruption, she went on with her instructions. "And then, if you use it again, you can go back to that place." She giggled, and then nodded her head with a pleading expression. "It's useful. It really is!"

Sheik had been on the verge of informing her that he could do that sort of spell already, with a lot less bother. But seeing her near-heartbroken face staring at him, waiting for a response, he decided that he just couldn't do it. "Well, I'll be darned, so it is," he said, trying to sound enthused. "Thanks a lot."

The GF clasped her hands; if she hadn't been floating, she'd have jumped up and down also. "Oh! Oh! You're welcome! Any time!" With that, she scooped Sheik up in her arms like he was a very light sack of grain, gave him a kiss on the cheek that encompassed his left eye as well, and set him down. Absolutely bewildered, he watched as she disappeared into her fountain, cackling in a downright frightening manner.

[Uh...............Okay...] Drying his face with his sleeve, Sheik put the bauble in that void thing and turned to go. [Well, maybe I can give it to someone else. It's got to be good for something.]

One bout of ice-floe-hopping terror later, Sheik entered the real cavern. He stood in the corridor shivering for a bit, wondering why it had to be so cold. Feeling a faint breeze coming from farther down, he surmised that the narrow passage opened up down there, and headed for it. [At least it's not very big...]

Two and a half hours later, Sheik entered the last room, limping where a spinning blade had sliced into his calf and looking up at the ceiling for any questionable stalactites before screaming "This had better bloody well be the last freaking bloody room because I'm not going another bloody step through this bloody sadistic freaking torture!" Not seeing any more doorways, our hero pulled himself up onto the rather large chest in the room and huddled in a shivering, sniffling, coughing ball of abject misery for Link.

It took more than half an hour, but at last Sheik heard a sneeze from the corridor. A short time after that, and in walked the hylian himself, holding his shield above his head and peeking out from under it cautiously to look for questionable stalactites on the ceiling. A barking cough followed by a soft groan caught his attention.

"Huh? Oh, hi, Sheik," Link said, brightening a little and putting his shield away. "Why are you here?"

Sheik smothered another cough with his arm and sniffled before answering. "I was just wondering about that myself."

Link sneezed again and came closer. "Gee, you don't look so good."

Navi fluttered out from under Link's hat, her wings moving in little jerking motions from the cold. "I think I'd go so far as to say he looks bad." She lighted on Sheik's ear, which was turning a lovely shade of red from the cold. "Say, do we need something out of this chest you're sitting on?"

"Most likely," Sheik said as he obligingly oozed off the chest so Link could open it.

"Oh boy," Link muttered, as he lifted a pair of iron-soled boots out of the chest with some effort. "Just what I always wanted."

Sheik tried to warm up his fingers before getting his harp out. "Yep, they're right purdy. Now, stow them and listen up so we can get out of here." He cleared his throat, hoping he'd remember everything this time. "If you came here to meet the zoras, you wasted your time..." He stalled as he tried to recall all the formal words explaining the temple. "This is all there is. With one exception, the zoras are all sealed under this thick ice sheet." [Ewww...] He sniffled. "I managed to rescue the zora princess from under the ice, but she left to head for the Water Temple." For some reason, Link looked a little pale after that last part.

"This ice is created by an evil curse..." [Because it's so very very COLD!] "The monster in the Water Temple is the source of the curse." [I guess.] "Unless you shut off the source, this ice will never melt...." [And that's BAD because it's COLD!] "If you have courage enough to confront the danger and save the Zoras, I will teach you the melody that leads to the temple." Here, Sheik had to stop, doubled over with a fit of coughing. Link looked on in concern.

Dutifully, Link found his ocarina and held it ready with shivering fingers. Sheik noticed his own hands weren't faring any better. He retuned a few pertinent strings that had lost tension because of the cold.

"Time passes, people move...." Hack. Groan. "Like a river's flow, it never ends..." He sped up a little, happy that at least this part could move quickly; he was freezing and he was really starting to feel lousy. "A childish mind will turn to noble ambition..." Cough. "Young love will become deep affection..." Wheeze, cough. "The clear water's surface reflects growth...Blah blah blah, I'm freezing! Okay, there was more but it's too cold, so I'm skipping it. Is that all right?" He coughed a bit more.

Link nodded earnestly. Navi piped up. "Of course it's all right! Less gab, more song! Song now!"

Coughing again, Sheik continued. "Now listen to the Serenade of

Water to reflect upon yourself...."

Link was concentrating so hard he got it on the first go.

"Thank the Goddesses!" Sheik said, triggering another coughing fit, which, come to think of it, was making him very very queasy. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to the temple right now where it's warmer." Thinking about the island in the center of the lake (definitely NOT from thirty feet up in the air), Sheik slipped into the void with some difficulty.

He appeared on the island, exiting the void with a pronounced lurch that just about did him in. "Ohhhhh, Farore..." he moaned, clutching his stomach and squeezing his eyes shut for a minute. [In through the nose, out through the mouth...] After a few such deep breaths, he felt a little better. His knees felt a little watery, though...

In a couple minutes, Link made it to the island as well, and he looked worried even before the blue light around him had completely faded. "Hey, are you sure you're okay?" he said. "You look kind of...gray."

Navi bobbed in agreement. "I'd say it's more of a grayish-green."

Sheik nodded weakly. "I'm fine, I just-" And then, very suddenly, Sheik wasn't fine. Not at all. "Oh, Goddesses; excuse me just a sec...!"

A few minutes later, Sheik was huddled on his knees by the water's edge, trembling with exhaustion and empty of everything but a few bones and vital organs (by his estimate, anyway). His breath came in shallow gasps and he was still cold. [...Well, wasn't that delightful...]

Link rubbed circles on his sick friend's back. He didn't understand how it worked, but Saria had always done that when he'd gotten sick and somehow it helped. "Are you done?"

Sheik pondered the question carefully for a while, then nodded.

"I certainly hope so!" Navi exclaimed. "I don't see how he could have anything left in there!" She flew cautiously up beside Sheik's face. "That was impressive."

Our hero couldn't trouble himself to narrow his eyes at her. "Thanks. It wasn't so hot from this end." His stomach still hurt, though at least it wasn't doing flips anymore. Only now his back hurt, his ribs ached, his throat was raw, and his head ached. [Still an improvement over twenty seconds ago, when my brain was trying to climb out through my ears...]

Link helped Sheik up to his feet. "Sheik, you're really sick."

"Really?"

Deciding to ignore the sarcasm for now, Link went on. "You should have a doctor look at you. There's one right on the shore, in fact."

"Yeah, there is!" Navi trilled. "He's really good. Link's gotten stitches from him twice already."

A flash of recognition passed through Sheik's disease-addled brain. "...Wait, if he's on the lakeshore then... Oh, no you don't!" he spat, backing away from the pair. "You're not getting me to go near that old loon!"

Link crossed his arms. "Sheik, you look like you're going to keel over. You're going to see a doctor if I have to carry you in myself."

"Oh, yeah?" Sheik snapped, trying to look more intimidating than he felt. "You and whose army?"

With a shrug and a small sigh, Link muttered, "Well, you asked for it."

An embarrassingly short span of time later, Sheik had given up struggling to get down as Link carried him across the long suspension bridge that spanned the lake. [I just had to say something, didn't I?] He hadn't been expecting Link to just...pounce like that. [Pretty rough treatment for a guy who's deathly ill, if you ask me.]

Navi floated above him, still talking. "I mean, sure he's a little... unconventional, but I wouldn't call him crazy, per se. You never know, this whole 'sigh-ants' thing might be very widely accepted some day."

Fed up with being carried (though it was a lot easier than walking at the moment), Sheik growled, "All right! Point taken; I can walk by myself."

"It's for your own good, you know," Link said as he set the irate sheikah down on the wood planks. They continued, Link walking slower to stay level with Sheik.

Walking very carefully and slowly so as not to fall into the lake, Sheik continued his argument with Navi. "Widely accepted? How? He doesn't pray or chant or read tealeaves, or anything a healer is supposed to do! He doesn't even rub an egg over your forehead and read the yolk. What kind of nut-job doesn't even do that?" he croaked.

"Well, loony or not, it's a moot point. Here we are," Navi said, relieved and hoping the sheikah would resign himself to his fate.

Inside, Sheik found himself sitting on a sort of small table, with Navi sitting on his shoulder while Link explained things to a wizened little old man in a white coat. Sheik couldn't help but notice and be offended that Link kept himself between Sheik and the door in case a certain someone panicked and decided to make a break for it. He snorted in disgust, which turned into another coughing fit, which in turn became a groan of pained anguish.

On hearing this, the little man walked over and stood before his reluctant patient, stroking his chin and humming to himself. "Hmmm... Yes... And how long would you say you've been feeling unwell?"

"Since this morning," Sheik answered warily, sincerely hoping that the deceptively harmless-looking old man wasn't as insane as he'd been told.

"Hmmm..." hummed the old doctor, pressing two gnarled fingers onto the vein in Sheik's wrist and counting to himself for a bit. "Hmm." He went to another workbench and wrote something down on a piece of parchment.

"What's he writing?" Sheik whispered to Navi. She gave a tiny shrug.

"Hmm, tell me," said the doctor, returning. "Does it hurt when I do this?" He pressed Sheik's cheekbones under the eyes.

"Ouch!"

"That's a 'yes,' I take it?" He felt under Sheik's jaw with his thumb and forefinger. "Hmm, interesting. A bit of swelling in the glands..." He went off to write something down again.

Our hero rubbed his face. He was becoming increasingly nervous.

"Are you experiencing any nausea or vomiting?" the doctor called from the workbench.

"Is he ever!" Navi crowed. "You should have seen it! I thought he was going to die!"

Sheik glowered up at the ball of light. "Thanks." He turned to Link. "Thanks for holding my hair back, by the way."

Link grinned. "Don't mention it. You'd do the same for me."

"And...um...sorry about your boots," Sheik went on, turning a little pink.

"Oh, that's okay; it washed right off." Link closed his eyes pensively. "Besides, they've been covered in worse things."

Navi laughed. "And it sure was funny watching you try to clean them up without falling into the water." She turned to Sheik. "He had to lay on his belly and stretch waaaay down, like this." No one could make out what she was doing through her aura, but she didn't do it for very long, since Link had had enough. He took off his hat and swatted at her. "Hey!" Navi yelled indignantly, flapping wildly to keep her balance.

The doctor returned once more, breaking up what might have dissolved into a brawl. Sheik saw that he was holding a little flat stick in one hand, and had a lantern in the other. He went from nervous to alarmed.

"What's that for?"

"I'd just like to see inside your throat. Now if you'll just open your mouth and say 'aah.'" He lifted the lantern a bit higher.

Our hero grudgingly obliged, and was rewarded by having the stick shoved into his mouth. "Aaaahhhh-GHK!"

After some hacking, Sheik got his gag reflex under control. The doctor threw the evil stick away. "So sorry, sometimes it goes a bit far back." And off he went to write things down. "Rather red, and the tonsils are a bit swollen, which is to be expected with most illness." Sheik didn't know if that was supposed to be reassuring; he didn't know what a tonsil was. "Hmm, would you say you're feeling warm or cold at present?"

"Cold...?" Sheik managed, watching with mounting trepidation as the doctor took something long, glassy, and skinny from a stand on the bench. The doctor returned, with aforesaid glass thing, and Sheik decided to voice his concern. "You're not going to shove that thing down my throat, too, are you?" [I AM nauseous after all, in case you'd forgotten.]

The old man laughed. "Oh, goodness, no. That would risk breaking the thermometer, and quicksilver is very toxic if ingested."

"Quicksilver?" Sheik snapped. "You're not putting quicksilver in MY-mmphf...!" The good doctor had no doubt heard the protest before, and had taken the first opportunity to jab the thermometer neatly under our hero's tongue.

"Close your lips, but not your teeth, hmmm? The glass is delicate."

Sheik did not dare even to breathe.

It was around half a minute later, when Sheik was running direly low on oxygen, that the doctor removed the glass tube, held it up to the light, cleaned it, and replaced it in its stand while he wrote something down. "Hmm... A bit feverish."

"I could have told you that," Sheik grumbled.

The doctor looked over his notes, then at Sheik, then back to his notes, and wrote down a few more things. As he started gathering beakers and started an alcohol burner, he said, "Considering the symptoms, I'd say it's a case study in influenza."

Sheik fidgeted uncomfortably. "Influenza? Are you sure?" He'd heard from Impa about epidemics of influenza that could decimate entire countries. It was like plague. That whole 'sound in the morning, dead by nightfall' saying wasn't all exaggeration.

Link chuckled. "That's a funny-sounding word. It's like in that jump-rope rhyme, with the bird and the window; it-"

"Stop right there; I don't want to hear it," Sheik growled. If it had been thought up by sweet little youngsters playing jump-rope, it was guaranteed to be distressingly morbid, and that was the last thing he needed.

"Oh, not a jump-rope fan, huh?" Link shifted his attention to the workbench, where the little old man was heating some water over a low flame.

"Are you a magic-user?" the doctor asked as he arranged some measuring spoons.

"Yes."

"Hmm...I'd stop casting for a few days if I were you. Too stressful for your system at the moment."

[Well, this puts a crimp on my mode of transportation, doesn't it?]

The doctor started dashing around to various cupboards, measuring out little bits of the various powders and liquids from the various jars they were kept in, and adding them each to the water. He also pulled a few leaves off of a sprig of some plant hanging by a string (peppermint, as far as Sheik could smell, which wasn't much), chopped them up, and tossed them in as well. Taking a slim glass pestle from a drawer, the old man turned the flame up a bit, stirred the dark liquid very quickly for a few seconds, turned the burner off, and poured the works into two glass flasks.

"I want you to take small sips of this later on this evening, and make sure you have it all finished by the time you go to bed," he said in a tone that brooked no disagreement as he corked the flasks. "This one's for you," he said to Sheik, handing him one of the flasks. The glass was pleasantly warm.

The old man pressed the other flask into Link's hand before the youth could protest. "You're looking a mite piqued yourself, sonny."

Sheik slipped down off the table, still feeling awful and ready to leave.

"Just a moment, I'm not through with you yet," the doctor scolded. He eyed the two appraisingly. "I want the both of you to drink plenty of water and get at least three days of good, solid bed rest. I think that's a lot of the trouble right there; you're run down. Why, when I was your age, folks knew that running about at all times trying to do everything all at once was bad for the constitution. We knew that some things could wait their turn, and we sure didn't-"

"Okay, thank you, sir," Link interrupted, nipping the lecture in the bud. "What do we owe?"

The doctor pulled a face and waved off the offer. "Oh, nothing, nothing. An old man can't charge for a research opportunity. You just run along and get some rest." He glared and put added emphasis on the last word, shooing the two men and fairy out the door.

"Well," Link said after a moment. "Where do you live? Epona can carry two people."

"Huh?" our eloquent hero replied, not catching any of it.

"We're not allowed to use magic, remember?" Link said, walking out a few paces and whistling. Sheik heard hoof-beats, and a chestnut horse appeared over a low hill. It slowed to a walk and nuzzled Link with its snout. Link scratched it behind the ears. "You haven't met Epona, have you? Malon just gave her to me."

And then it clicked. Sheik had thought that horse looked familiar... "Gah!" he choked out. "Get away from that thing! That horse is the devil!"

Link laughed. "What, her?" He took the horse's face in his hands and rubbed her snout. "But she's just a big softie, aren't you, sweetheart," he crooned. Epona purred and let her eyes drift closed. "See?" Link said. "Horse good."

Sheik wasn't convinced. He'd seen what that mare could do. He pointed accusingly at her. "It's eyes burn with the fires of the thirty-nine hells themselves!"

Link and Epona exchanged glances, hers seeming to say, "Who, me? What's the little crazy animal talking about?"

"Sheik," Link said carefully. "You live in Kakariko, right? We can't walk all the way there, and you can't teleport there. So..." He patted the horse's back meaningfully and hopped up into the saddle.

Sighing, Sheik conceded that Link had a point and timidly clambered up behind the saddle. "Curse you and your 'logic,'" he muttered, wrapping his arms around Link's waist, squeezing his eyes shut, and bracing himself.

"Uh...Sheik," Link said, once Epona had started walking. "I know you're scared of horses and all, but... I can't breathe."

"Sorry." Sheik loosened his grip.

Navi made herself comfortable on Link's ear and looked down at the terrified sheikah. "Boy, I wouldn't have put you down as a hippophobe."

"What did you just call me?" Sheik snapped, in no mood to be insulted.

"Relax, Sheik," Navi soothed, through a laugh. "Hippophobia is a fear of horses."

"I'm not scared of horses," Sheik argued. "Well...maybe a little, but mostly just this particular horse."

Epona started to pick up speed. [Oh, trotting is bad...]

"Okay, we're coming up to the fences; ready?" Link said.

"...Um...No?"

By this time Epona was in a smooth canter. Sheik felt her gather herself onto her hind legs, and then she jumped.

"Eee!" our fearless warrior screamed.

"Arck!" Link gurgled, as he was given an amateur version of the Heimlich maneuver by his passenger.

"Ha ha ha! You guys are a riot!" Navi gasped between tiny little fairy belly laughs.

Once the fences were cleared and Epona galloped across open plains, Link managed to pry Sheik's hands loose enough to get a decent breath of air.

"Hey, while we're on the subject of jarring movements... If you start to feel like you're going to be sick again, give me some warning, all right?"

Sheik opened one eye. "Okay. I think you'll want to stop right.........now."

He sounded serious, and if someone saying they're going to be sick while sitting directly behind you sounds serious, it's best to listen. Link reined in Epona, and Sheik slid down off her back into a boneless and very ill puddle on the ground.

"Poor Sheik," Navi sighed as they finally got on their way again, Link a little worried that Sheik's grip was too loose and that he'd fall off. Sheik had no comment except a soft whimper.

The remainder passed without major incident besides a few more such stops, and Epona veering off-course now and then to run down stalchildren after the sun went down. "Sorry," Link apologized. "She just loves to chase those things."

Upon reaching the stairs into Kakariko, Epona stopped, allowing her passengers to get down and stagger into town. "Goodnight, girl," Link called back. The horse whickered softly, then turned and left.

"Okay," Link said, "Which place is yours?"

"What he means," Navi said, catching Sheik's attention, "is that his house is too small for him to fit inside, and there's also a cow in it. Can we stay with you?" she finished sweetly.

"Sure," Sheik said, giving Link a questioning look. "Cow?"

Link shrugged. "Don't ask me; I don't know how it got up the ladder in the first place."

Not quite knowing where ladders came into the equation and not caring, Sheik led his guests up several ramps, stairs, and side streets into the west side of town. He cautioned Link to be quiet and had Navi ride on Link's head so her aura wouldn't attract attention.

They reached the back door of the house without incident. As Sheik was unlocking the door, Link tapped him on the shoulder.

"Huh?"

"Why is that lady glaring at us?"

Sheik turned to look in the direction Link was. "Oh, Mrs. Thatcher?" The woman in question was in the second story of her own house, staring down with the look of a judge passing an execution sentence. When Sheik made eye contact, she shook her head in disgust and closed the shutters. "Uh...She's a little 'out there,' if you know what I mean. Don't pay any attention to her."

Inside, all three decided they were too tired to eat. Sheik went to the hearth to bank the fire for the night while Link found a place to hide his weapons and assorted oddities. Straightening up from the low cupboard he'd chosen, he sighed contentedly.

"Ah, I feel forty pounds lighter."

"That's probably because you are, in fact, forty pounds lighter," Navi quipped, gliding in front of his face lazily.

Sheik walked back across the room to relock the door. "I think I've scared the captain of the guard away for a couple weeks, but just in case..." He returned to the hearth where it was warm and leaned back against the stones, taking his flask out of the void thing and uncorking it with his teeth.

Link sat down as well and peered into his own flask bemusedly. "This stuff looks nasty."

"It does have a sort of brown sludginess about it, doesn't it," Sheik said. He whiffed it. "It doesn't smell bad, though." He took a tiny sip. By this time, the peppermint had had a chance to soak through everything, so that was all Sheik tasted. "It's all right; I don't think you'll choke, anyway."

Link glared suspiciously at the flask, tried it, decided that maybe it WASN'T that bad, and gulped it down. It took Sheik the better part of an hour to finish his without mishap. They kept up a steady stream of conversation to avoid awkward silence.

"You seem..." Sheik searched for ways to say 'mature' that didn't make him sound like a visiting aunt. "...to be doing better."

"Yeah, I guess I'm getting used to...well, everything."

"That's nice." The mint was beginning to settle Sheik's stomach a bit. He fished for something else to say before he started thinking about his abdominal region too much and ruining everything. "So, do you know Princess Ruto? I thought you looked a little...different when I mentioned her." [He looked like he was going to have a fit, was what he looked like...]

Link looked uncomfortable. Navi fluttered in lazy circles. "They're sort of betrothed."

"Oh?" He would have said something more like, 'How can you be sort of betrothed? I thought that was an all or nothing deal,' but Sheik was getting rather drowsy, as much from the events of the day as the potion.

Link squirmed. "I'll bet she forgot. ...I hope she forgot, at least..."

Navi giggled and hovered near Link's face. "I don't know, maybe it wouldn't be so bad marrying Ruto. She is a princess, after all. And when she became queen, you'd be prince consort, and you could order people around, and stuff." She lit gracefully on Link's shoulder and struck a regal pose and pointed one tiny finger. "You there! Do this! You, fetch that! I grow bored; entertain me, fools!"

Sheik grinned through a warm, potion-induced haze. Link was getting fuzzy around the edges as well, but had to get a word in his defense. "But I can't marry her! She's a girl!"

Navi tipped her head to one side, carefully weighing whether or not to even acknowledge the statement. [And think of what the kids would look like...] Sheik mused.

"Well, girls have cooties!" Link went on, seeing that no one was rushing to agree with him.

"Hey!" Navi trilled next to Link's ear, making him wince. Even Sheik was temporarily knocked out of his dull stupor. "I'm a girl!"

Rubbing his ear, Link tried to think fast. "Fairies don't count. Besides, I'm not marrying you."

This seemed to placate her, and the three lapsed into a comfortable silence. Noticing himself nodding off again, Sheik stood and stumbled his way toward Zelda and Impa's room. "Well, I think I've had about all the fun I can stand, I don't know about you..."

Suspecting that the possibility of a real bed could manifest soon, Link followed nearly as unsteadily as our hero. Navi wafted along behind.

Seeing Sheik already curled up in one narrow bed, Link laid his cap on the small table between the two and snuggled into the other. "Hee..."

Navi made a little nest for herself out of the cap. Beds really weren't worth the risk of being squashed in one's sleep. Folding her wings and pulling a bit of material over herself as a blanket, she closed her eyes. In a few minutes, however, the snoring became rather difficult to ignore. In stereo. Sitting up, she glared first at Link, and then at Sheik. If it weren't for the soft snoring from Sheik's side of the room, she'd swear he was dead. Link, however, was another matter; it was amazing that he didn't wake himself up. Sheik really wasn't that loud, but he inhaled while Link exhaled, and the effect was one infinitely long snore without reprieve.

"Great," she grumbled, burying her head in the cap. "Now I get to deal with two of them..."