Bonfire Nights
Remus sat there with his arms wrapped around his knees, watching the embers fly up against the dark navy sky – the full moon a good three weeks away. The wind at his back was cold, but the rather pathetic bonfire in front of him kept him warm in his solitude. Not that he was alone. In fact, Remus Lupin was very much surrounded by people. All about him they were talking, laughing, and dancing the night away. Tomorrow there would be no classes, no more exams to study for. They were finished. The last NEWT had been this afternoon. And now they were all celebrating, as they should, drinking, happy and free (even if just for the next couple of days).
And the boy sat there, silent, frozen, taken back from this moment. He was so far in his own head. His gaze was fixed on the parchment, the years of notes and lessons, lighting up and crumbling to ashes. Without an intense palette of color at his dispense the beauty of the fire was lost. All he understood was the hours of classroom time burning while his friends continued their drunken dances. In a small satchel next to him, were his own notes from the past seven years. Still neat and organized, and well guarded, had he left them unguarded they too would be nothing but ashes in the fire in front of him. After all Sirius had said at dinner that Remus's notes alone would keep the fire going for hours.
The very same person who was now dancing, limbs wailing across the bonfire. (Who certainly did not make Remus smile without even trying.) Remus wondered how much firewhiskey Sirius had already consumed, or how many kisses he had received by the equally drunken girls, who had at least the decency to stop trying to get Remus to go dance, let alone talk to him. At the moment Sirius had his arms around two Ravenclaw girls. What they were all laughing over Remus could only imagine. He felt something rise in him as Sirius bared his neck for these girls to nuzzle against and place drunken kisses on. (Wasn't that his neck to lay claim to?)
His gaze quickly shifted, looking for James, who normally would have been competing with Sirius for number of kisses in one night or trying to sing that Benny Goldman song Remus had played for them back in year four. (A mistake if he ever knew one now.) However, James was cuddled up with Lily near the edge of the bonfire, their limbs intertwined, bottoms buried in sand, their foreheads touching. James smirked and leaned in, contented. Remus knew what would happen next, so he turned away from the couple and looked back at the fire.
Through the flames nothing else mattered, they had the rest of their lives in front of him. Remus, well Remus would probably end up as a librarian somewhere, and would have to sleep in the library because he would need to let out his own flat to make let. Sure, Sirius, James, and even Peter talked about all four of them getting a flat together after school ended, but now James had Lily and Peter was offered that position in Egypt breaking curses, and Sirius, well Remus still was not sure about him.
Tonight was supposed to be around celebration but Remus saw it was for it was worth, the end of an era.
"Mooooony, what are you doing? Always so sullen, always, thinking, thinking, thinking." With each word Sirius tapped on Remus's head. "One day you're head is going to explode and I'm not going to be around to clean it up, you just wait– you just wait and see." Remus tried not to laugh as his friend stumbled to the ground next to him. "So, my little cabbage, just what are you thinking about on this most glorious occasion?"
His words were slurred. Remus could smell the alcohol behind each syllable as he leaned in closer. "Sirius," he said as Sirius draped his arm across Remus's shoulders, "people can see you, you know."
"C'mon Remus." Sirius leaned in, poking Remus in the side. He was smirking too and Remus knew what came next. He wanted to look away, but Sirius was right in his face, looking him right in the eyes. In a world where everything was in shades of gray, Sirius had always been clear, crisp black and white. "Maybe I want people to see us, to know that I, Sirius Black, am in love with Remus J. Lupin and have been since year six? I am tired of keeping things secret, tonight is our goddamn last night here and I have kissed thirteen, no fifteen girls hoping that you would come over and stop me but no you…"
And he was silent. It was a bold move on Remus's half but really he could not take the drunken ramble any longer. Remus had closed the little gap left between the two of them. His hands cupping Sirius's face, pulling them closer together if that was at all possible.
After a minute, Sirius Black broke off the kiss with a large bit of shouting, "And that ladies and gentlemen is Remus J. Lupin, my future wife." He stumbled back to his feet, having the attention of quite a few people around him now, he leaned down to whisper into Remus's ear, "Tonight, babe, you and me, no silencing spell, we are going to rock and roll and night long." He stood back up trying to bow and stammered off, leaving Remus sitting there rather abashed and trying to bury himself into the thin mess that was his limbs.
