Chapter Fourteen – Truth and Consequences

"So they weren't abducted by the Son of Odin and granted access into the Library of Power?" Luna asked curiously.

Neville shook his head. "Death Eaters just tortured them until they lost their minds," he said sadly.

"Oh," Luna said softly. They were sitting in Starbucks. Neville didn't have to be home until dinnertime, so he still had an hour to spend with Luna.

He left his hand on the table, hoping that she would reach for him. When she made no move, Neville went to hold her hand. Just then, Luna picked up her cup with both her hands.

Suddenly, Neville didn't feel like talking about his parents anymore. "Did you have a nice birthday?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head. "The day before my procedure I get really nervous. Even though I know I'll be fine, I still can't help being scared," she told him.

"Did you get any presents?" Neville asked.

"Daddy got me this sweater," she said indicating the blue cardigan that she was wearing. "It's not really my taste, but he tried."

"What about your other family members?" he pressed on. She never spoke about her family.

She took a sip of coffee thoughtfully. "I really don't have any family besides Daddy. My grandparents are dead, and my parents were both an only child."

That seemed sad to Neville. Granted, he wasn't always pleased with his family, especially Great Uncle Algie, but he knew they would always be there for him.

Luna stood up. "I have to be getting home," she said. Neville followed her outside.

"How are you getting home?" he asked.

"I'm going to walk back to St. Mungos and floo," she said easily. "You?"

He grinned, "Same here."

Neville went to hold her hand, but she put some distance between them. They walked in silence for almost the entire way back to the hospital.

They stopped in front of the public fire. "I'll see you on the train back to Hogwarts," Luna said.

Neville gave her a hug. He wanted to hold her, to sit with her and have her tell him everything would be allright. That she wouldn't be dead in ten years.

"See you," Neville said softly. Luna took a handful of floo powder and was gone.

He ran right up to his room when he got home, telling his grandmother that he wasn't hungry at all. He stared at the ceiling of his room. Luna was sick. He couldn't believe it. But he knew it was true. So many things fell into place when he found out.

Since the beginning of the month, Neville had started to suspect that his feelings for Luna were stronger than he realized. There were even times that he thought he might love her. Neville closed his eyes. They were both so young, and did he even know what love was yet?

There was a knock on his door. "Neville?" his grandmother said quietly.

Neville sat up quickly. "Yes, Gran?" he asked.

"I brought some dinner up for you," she told him. "I know you said you weren't hungry..."

"Thanks, Gran," he muttered.

She brought the tray and placed it on his desk. "You know Neville, I understand if you're going through a rough time right now," she said.

"I'm not going through a rough time," he lied.

"Your father was just the same way. Mooning over girls left and right during Hogwarts. I can't tell you how happy I was when he met Alice in Auror training," his grandmother said.

"Thanks, Gran," he said.

"Eat up, Neville. You're a growing boy," she said, leaving the room.

Neville pounded his fists on the bed. He would never be good enough for his grandmother. She even compared his moodiness with his father's! Neville ripped apart a biscuit and started chewing.

All he had heard since he could remember was how wonderful his father was. Neville had no doubt that his father had been a great man. But he was sick of trying to live up to an ideal he knew he would never reach. Once, just once, could his grandmother try to say something nice to Neville without bringing his father into it?

He would stop trying to be his father. From now on, no matter what happened, he would try to be true to Neville Longbottom, instead of trying to live up to Frank Longbottom.

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Neville looked around frantically for Luna outside of the Hogwarts Express. He couldn't find her. What if something happened?

Finally, he had to give up and get on the train before it left. He walked through, trying to find a compartment and saw Luna sitting in one, looking out of the window.

He let himself in. "I was worried!" Neville said. "I didn't see you outside."

Luna looked at him. "I was cold, so I went inside the train," she said slowly.

"Are you okay?" Neville asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, Neville," Luna said, turning her attention to the window. Neville sat next to her, and put his arm around her. He hoped that she would relax next to him; he enjoyed feeling her body next to his. But she sat up straighter.

"Are you looking for those Faeries?" Neville asked.

She shook her head. "Not until the train is speeding along. I shouldn't see any today though. I think they've all migrated to France for the winter," she said softly.

They sat in silence for a while. Neville couldn't seem to think of anything to say. Luna wasn't in the best mood, that much was certain.

Luna started rubbing her temples.

"Are you okay?" Neville asked worriedly, "Do you have a headache?"

"Stop it," Luna said quietly.

"Stop what?" Neville asked.

Luna stood up and sat across from him. "Stop thinking that every little thing I do is because I'm sick," she said forcefully.

"Luna," Neville said, shocked, "I'm just worried about you..."

She cut him off. "I don't want you being worried about me! I want you treating me the way you did before, before you knew I was sick."

"But you are sick, Luna," Neville whispered.

Luna's eyes filled with tears. "Stop looking at me like I'm already dead," she said softly, and left the compartment.

Neville just sat there with his mouth open, not sure of what just happened. The compartment door opened again, and Harry, Ron and Ginny sat down.

"Have a nice holiday Neville?" Harry asked happily.

Neville mumbled, "Fine," and stood up. He had to talk to Luna. He excused himself and left the compartment.

He found her at the very last compartment, staring out the window, her knees next to her chest.

He let himself in quietly, and sat across from her. "I'm sorry," he said. But the problem was, he didn't know if he was sorry. Neville thought he had a right to be concerned.

"I would have told you eventually," Luna said, her eyes never leaving the window. "I didn't want you knowing so soon."

"But I know now," Neville said.

"You know now," Luna repeated. "And every time you think of me, you won't be thinking of me. You'll be wondering how I'm feeling. You'll stop wanting to know every little thing about me, because some day, Neville, you're going to lose me. And one day, you'll wake up and realize I'm not what you bargained for."

"What are you talking about?" Neville cried.

Luna finally looked at him. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. "I'm breaking up with you," she said softly. "I can't be with you anymore."

"Luna, no!" Neville cried. "Not over this."

Luna nodded. "I don't want to be a ghost to you, Neville."

"You're not a ghost to me, Luna," Neville said forcefully. "You're a real, breathing, living person. Someone that I care for, and who I want to be with."

"I'm sorry," Luna said, changing her focus back to the window.

"Please, Luna," Neville begged.

Neville watched her shake her head, and felt defeated. Quietly, he walked out of the compartment and locked himself in the boy's bathroom. Neville could feel his eyes filling with tears. He started the faucet, and splashed some cool water on his face.

"This can't be happening," Neville told himself.

He stared at himself at the mirror. All he could see were his flaws. His cheeks were too round, his eyes too small. "I just want to be with her," Neville told his reflection.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door, and Neville snapped to attention. He left the bathroom quickly, and saw a small line had formed since he locked himself in. Muttering "Sorry," to the people in line, he went to find an empty compartment to brood in.

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The worst part was all the questions. Everyone wanted to know why Luna didn't eat dinner at the Gryffindor table anymore. Neville must have repeated the story ten times at dinner that day. He changed it slightly though. He told everyone that they were taking a break. Not that they had broken up. Everyone knew what he meant though.

When Neville woke up the next morning, he immediately thought of Luna. It took a moment before he remembered what had happened the day before.

The first week was the hardest. He still saw her, in the halls, at dinner. Every time, he wanted to beg her to take him back, but he knew he wouldn't.

Everyday though, Neville watered and pruned the Turnishes. That was his shrine to her, to what they had shared. They were almost ready to share to the world.

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"I can't believe it!" Colin Creevey whispered to the table. "He's been sentenced to Azkaban!"

"How could Draco Malfoy be so stupid to try to but the Imperius Curse on an Auror?" Lavender Brown said.

"It doesn't make any sense," Dean Thomas said.

Neville listened to the group thoughtfully. The news was what everyone was talking about. Draco Malfoy had been caught by Professor Snape in the dungeons. Draco had stunned Harry Potter and put an Auror under the Imperius Curse.

"I always thought Professor Snape might be a Death Eater," Parvatti said, eyes wide.

"He must not be, not if he turned in his favorite student," Seamus said excitedly. Nothing this dramatic had happened at Hogwarts in years.

"I heard the Auror is Metamorph," Lavender said. "Just like Professor McGonagall was telling us in class a while ago."

"I bet his parents get him out," Neville said glumly.

"I don't know," Colin replied. "His dad is a wanted Death Eater. Malfoy might be stuck there."

Neville shuddered at the thought of Azkaban. He remembered the Dementors that guarded the school his third year. He simply couldn't image a place where you couldn't remember any good thoughts at all.

Neville looked over to the Ravenclaw table and sighed. He saw Luna, reading the Quibbler. It had been three weeks since she had broken up with him. He tried talking to her and even wrote her an owl, but nothing worked.

Suddenly she looked up and their eyes met. Neville tried smiling at her. She studied him for a moment and then went back to the Quibbler. The usual longing for her was there in his heart. He sometimes seriously doubted if it would ever go away.