Disclaimer: I don't own Trek… if I did, I probably wouldn't know what to do with it.

Author's note: Yes, I know… it's not really Chaucerian… but I liked the idea for a title… and it sort of went on from there. TLI, the Shakespearian influence could be a result of a little Much Ado About Nothing a mere hours before I wrote this. But I'm having fun with it. Sorry about delays in updating (in all my stuff) but I've added about 15 hours of school (not including homework) to my 40 hour work week… and work and school must take precedence over fanfiction (sigh). The only bonus is that I've now gone portable… so I can work while I'm not at home… a major bonus. Thanks, as always, to my beta readers... what would I do without you?

C.

Though many tale speaks of the captain

Noble and true (though highly driven)

Commander, Ensign, and Lieutenant

(To whom no disrespect is meant)

They all are men1 and have desires

To which this office does aspire

To meet and if it can exceed

Every whim and taste and need.

Ours is not an easy task

To know their wish before they ask

To know just what they will require

From this vast Supply empire

While some things are always clear

Like uniforms, and vent'ring gear

Other things are quite for sure

Much harder for one to procure

Thus those who be both wise and smart

Take great pains to winneth my heart

And those that would be made a fool

Do violate the simple rule

Of slighting not the one who knows

Where ev'ry single item goes

And has the means to make a life

Be simple, or be filled with strife

For it is my sole volition

How to fill each requisition

And one who keeps my humour

Will find their needs filled sooner

But those with manners curt and vile

May find that it might take a while

To receive that which they request

Or something else, as I see best

So heed my words and mind your manners

And you won't get socks, instead of scanners


1 Men is being used in the classical sense here… as in Mankind referring not just to males, but to all humans. So don't panic… I know that there are women involved.