Thanks for the huge response to this little short. I love that you all pointed out how true to Stephanie fashion the whole thing was: she started with good intentions then it all went up in smoke. Plus, enjoyed reading all of you Lorena Bobbitt references.
Even though it's almost a month after Stephanie's B-Day, here's the final part to this little story. Let me know your thoughts.
I should get back to posting more regularly this coming week. Finally feeling slightly better, then discovered that I somehow lost access to all my comp files on Tue. Anything not backed up to the cloud was lost *wail*, so working on scourging the pieces of whatever I do still have (mostly on my phone).
Disclaimer: The Plum universe belongs to JE. Mistakes are mine.
Stephanie's POV
"Do something!" Leacock wailed, cocking his head in the direction of the cuffs attached to my utility belt. "Arrest her!"
I had to assess the situation quickly. With Woody out of commission temporarily, the responsibility was solely on my shoulders. I have an unconscious Merry Man, a FTA bleeding profusely from his private area and an unknown woman who looks derailed enough to attack without warning or further provocation. Despite hating the fact that I had to keep my gun pointed at someone, I decided the most pressing threat was the unidentified woman with the knife.
"9-1-1, what is your emergency?"
"Uh, yes, my name is Stephanie Plum. I'm in Grovers Mill, right off Route 1." I gave quick pertinent details, like what exit was the closest to my location off Route 1. Best to get professional backup stat!
"What's your emergency?" The dispatcher asked, her fingers hitting keys in the background as she typed.
Oh, yeah. What's the emergency?! How could I forget the most important part? Well, in my defense there's a lot going on. My limited attention span is being pulled in three different directions.
"I need medical and police." I said succinctly, my attention still focused on the woman standing in front of me. "Please send female first responders." I added after a slight pause. Already witnessing one man pale at the sight of another man's prized body party being cut off was enough for one day.
When the operator asked me what appendage was removed and how, I grimaced. "It was severed?" Was the best I could come up with. The operator was a professional, of course, remaining stoically calm as she processed my response.
"Do you think they can stitch me back up?!" Leacock squeaked.
"Uhm…" I didn't think so, seeing as well, how? The tiny thing his attacker is waving around looks quite mangled.
"I'm sending units to your location now…" Before I could ask how long until first responders arrived, the call dropped. Removing the phone from my ear showed that my cell was dead. Damn it! It got wet two weeks ago when I went after Andres Lombardi. Since then, my phone has held charge very unreliably. Sadly, I don't have enough cash to replace it just yet. So here I am, attempting a capture to get some much needed cha-ching.
"So, do you think they can fix this?!" He removed his cupped hands from his groin, inadvertently taking away the pressure that was keeping him from bleeding out faster.
There is not enough bleach in the world to scrub my mind clean after getting a front row seat of the bloody and mutilated flesh. From the looks of it, Leacock isn't a shower. Could he be a grower? I don't know and I don't want to know. What I do know is that he's bleeding way too much!
"Like I said, I'm no professional." I swallowed back the instant nausea as the metallic scent of blood hung heavy in the open air. To buy me some much needed momentary distraction, I shoved my useless cell into my back jeans pocket before I returned my full attention to the woman. "Hey…" I was very deliberate in introducing myself, remaining as calm as I could so I wouldn't further spook her. "What's your name?" I kept my voice nearly whisper soft. My approach was quickly derailed when my FTA cut me off.
"Why are you being friendly?!" Leacock bitched. "Arrest her!"
Suppressing the urge to roll my eyes, I gritted my teeth while I replied to him. "Mr. Leacock…" I quickly and so politely told him to shut up.
"It's Lee-check!" He muttered under his breath how everyone always butchers his last name.
I tilted my head to the side instead of shaking it in exasperation. It wasn't his last name that got butchered today, because I did my homework. I even went as far as to look up how to pronounce his last name. Shocker, it's pronounced exactly how I imagined it would be.
"You're in violation of your bond." I said to him, quickly giving my whole rescheduling spiel to explain my presence on his property. That got him to firmly shut his mouth real quick. Good.
"Ung!" The woman let out a strangled throaty sound, once again waving her knife in front of her. The swooshing sound as she slashed the emptiness was almost deafening. Everything seemed to be heightened, or maybe it just felt that way since I was on my own.
"What's your name?" I tried again, hoping to get through to her.
"Marcia." She finally answered, her dark eyes shifting rapidly between me and Leacock.
"I don't want to shoot you, Marcia." I assured that I wasn't here for her. "Let's make a deal, okay?" Marcia's wary look was a good sign for me. It meant she was listening. "I'll put my gun away if you toss the knife behind you." The murky pond water would slow her down in case she tried to reach for her weapon again.
"He's…" Was as much as Marcia got to yell before I felt a rush of movement beside me.
Leacock's a slimy asshole, that's for sure. Even though I felt the blade slicing through my light jacket and cut my skin, I whirled around to defend myself. The cut to my upper left arm stung, instantly soaking my sleeve and arm. While blood trickled out of the gash I can already tell is considerably deep, the pain flared as I placed a series of boot-clad kicks on Leacock's legs. One kick caught him just right below his knee, causing him to let out a cursing wail as I heard his bone crack.
"Slimy bastard." I spat as I closed a cuff around his right wrist, twisting counterclockwise to make him release the knife. Before he could regain his footing, I closed the other cuff around the metal door handle of the inoperable Buick. Satisfied that he had nowhere else to go, I darted away before he could attempt another attack. Kicking the knife further from his reach would ensure that he wouldn't be able to try anything else. His pooled pants were abandoned by him when he lunged for me, leaving him crouching in just a ratty T-shirt. It wasn't a pretty sight, that's for sure.
"He's a monster!" The woman cried, looking even more vulnerable than before.
"He's not going anywhere until the police get here." I promised that she was safe. Something told me that she wasn't the aggressor after all. "You can tell me what happened."
"No one will believe you!" Leacock threatened.
"I will shoot you." My pledge was accompanied by a death glare I shot over my shoulder, effectively getting Leacock to snap his trap shut as I flashed him my weapon. He could clearly see that the Glock didn't have the safety on. In response, he went back to one handedly applying pressure on his gaping wound.
The squealing of tires, immediately followed by two doors opening and closing, was my heads up that we had company.
"What's going on, Bomber?" Ram asked as I sensed two bodies moving in my direction. I didn't want to take my eyes off of the woman, feeling that she would clam up now that we were outnumbered. The current two to one men to female ratio might definitely be intimidating, considering the Merry Men are massively built.
I gave the newly arrived Merry Men a condensed version of events as I slowly crept towards Marcia.
"Like cut it off, cut it off?" Lester asked in a higher than usual pitch.
"Yup, that's a-a-a-a penis alright." Ram finally said, opting for a more clinical approach as a way to distance himself from the scene. Bobby does it too, especially when one of the men is severely hurt out in the field.
"You're safe." I guaranteed, warning Marcia that the police would be here soon. It won't be a pretty sight if they find her wielding that knife. Misunderstandings have happened for a lot less.
"Son of a bitch!" Ram and Lester muttered in unison as they shifted their glares Leacock's way. From the sounds of it, Leacock roofied and abducted Marcia. She came to in the middle of a sexual assault. Impressively, Marcia was resourceful enough. She yanked the knife strapped to Leacock's belt, effectively cutting off his member. It was a gory scene to imagine, let alone live through. I believe every word. Marcia's terror is very real. Plus, Leacock has been behind bars for similar crimes. The justice system repeatedly re-releasing him failed the community, especially Marcia.
"We're here for you." Once again, I coaxed Marcia to do as I instructed. She did, releasing her hold on both the knife and appendage. "Thank you." My gratitude was acknowledged by Marcia taking two steps back as the approaching sirens signified the arrival of first responders.
Glancing around, I noted that Lester was rounding the front of the rusted Buick while Ram knelt beside Woody.
"Damn!" Lester muttered with a shake of his head. "You weren't kidding, Beautiful. It really did get cut off!" Les looked a little green, but thankfully didn't faceplant on the wet dirt.
"I'll check on Woody." Ram announced after he messaged the control room. "Bobby's on the way."
I breathed a sigh of relief as Woody began to rouse after Ram waved something under his nose.
"What's going on?" A female officer from the Plainsboro Township PD was first on scene, quickly followed by an ambulance.
"My name is Stephanie Plum." I said as I felt a flash of heat blast through my body, starting at my face and traveling down my neck. Rapid fire, I concisely gave the officer a rundown as I watched another PD cruiser arrive on scene. "I have the right to apprehend paperwork in my SUV…" Before I could say I was going to move to get said documents, the heat coursing through me intensified as a wave of dizziness took hold.
Wait? Why am I hot if it's practically mid October?
"Stephanie, you okay?" Someone asked, but it was hard to tell who it was. The voice sounded distorted and before I could look around, I felt my knees give out.
S&R
Lester's POV
"Stephanie, you okay?" I asked, opting to use her given name when I noticed how pale she looked. Stephanie is white, but not that pale. One second she was talking and the next she collapsed onto the muddy ground.
The EMTs spread out, one coming my way to assess Leacock while the other rushed to Beautiful's side.
"He…he stabbed her." The dick chopper mumbled as the female EMT crouched beside Beautiful.
"Where?!" I barked out, causing the dick cutter to wince and jump with my booming order.
"Santos." Ram gritted his teeth in obvious reprimand. I understood his worry that my aggressiveness would get the dick mangler to clam up, but I didn't give a shit. I care about Beautiful and right now it's looking a little grim.
"Arm." Dick slicer pointed to her upper left arm in a clear demonstration.
We all watched with bated breath as the EMT got to work, efficiently cutting through the sleeve of Beatuiful's jacket and shirt.
"Shit." It was Ram who muttered under his breath. I may not be as good as him or Bobby when it comes to medical knowledge, but I do know that a thick bleed like that isn't a good thing.
So much for wishing Beautiful Feliz Cumpleaños. Ella even baked her a cake from scratch to celebrate the birthday girl.
Bobby arrived just as Beautiful was being loaded on the ambulance. Without further ado, he jumped into the back of the rig as soon as Beautiful was in position. Right after, another ambulance arrived. That one would be transporting Beautiful's FTA. The fucker is resilient, that's for sure. He's quite alert and mouthy despite his dick being detached from his person.
"I'm okay." Woody mumbled, urging Ram to go. The irritation was obvious on Woody's scrunched up face. None of us like being looked after, especially if one of our own is in worse shape. "I'll get checked out." Woody promised so Ram could be the man to make sure the FTA got properly processed and didn't attempt any funny business on his way to the hospital. "Get Leacock processed." Woody mumbled groggily.
"Your name's Leacock?" I snickered.
"It's Lee-check!" The sick fuck protested.
"We can shorten it to Lea, since you're missing the second part of your last name." I teased with a bark of laughter. What can I say? Humor is my defense mechanism.
"Do you know where the, uhm, missing penis is?" The cute blonde EMT asked as her male partner secured Steph's FTA onto a stretcher.
"Imma go out on a limb and say it's that tiny fleshy bit by the pond." Jerking my chin in the direction to where the dick mutilator and a police officer were currently talking, I indicated the obvious body part.
"Hey! I'm not tiny." Leacock bitched.
"If you 'weren't' before, you will be now." I threw back, satisfied that the asshole will hopefully never regain full function again. Peeing in a bag would be too good for him.
"Ranger's been notified." Zip shared as he helped Woody stand.
Oh, fuck. My cousin is going to be really pissed. The least of Leacock's worries will be if his dick can be re-attached or not. Ranger will make sure of that.
S&R
Ranger's POV
Wanting to surprise Stephanie on her birthday was my only goal this morning. I called her bright and early, wishing her a happy birthday by signing to her. Babe's sleep raspy voice sent delicious shivers across the length of my spine. That's when I knew that I had to see her, even if it meant I'd have to fly back to Miami in a couple days.
The last thing I was expecting was to receive a mass message alert from the control room informing that Stephanie called 9-1-1 shortly after arriving at her FTA's home.
The minutes felt endless as I awaited further news. According to Binkie's message, Lester and Ram would be first on scene, quickly followed by Bobby and Zip. Even knowing that Woody was Babe's partner for the takedown wasn't enough to appease my worry.
By the time a new update came in, I was already desperately agonizing. Receiving Zip's text did nothing to derail my worry. Knowing that Stephanie was being rushed to the hospital while I was on a flight back to New Jersey was maddening.
There was nothing I could do, but wait for further intel. Being stuck on a flight one-third of my New Jersey destination was distressing on a level that I only feel whenever something bad happens to Stephanie. Not being by her side made me anxious. It's a good thing I'm flying in a private jet, because no way would a commercial flight be accommodating to the pent up energy radiating off of me in waves.
In the past, I've been able to compartmentalize my fear of being too late simply by telling myself that I'd be first on scene. There's been too many close calls to count, yet nothing has felt this gut wrenching. Even witnessing her falling into the Delaware couldn't come close to this heart pounding horror.
Closing my eyes, I worked on regulating my breathing. As I did so, hypnotizing blue eyes fueled my mental recollection of Babe. Her curly hair, soft skin, sweet taste and scent filled my senses in rapid succession. For a brief moment, I felt like she was right here with me instead of hundreds of miles away.
Just when I'd centered myself somewhat, Bobby's message came in. I breathed a sigh of relief when he explained Babe's wound and what was currently being done. I had full confidence that I'd get to see her beautiful face set in an annoyed frown while she negotiated to be released by the time I strolled into the hospital.
My flight felt endless and I wasted no time peeling out of the parking lot when we arrived in Newark. I could finally expel some of my pent up energy by driving towards Babe.
"Report!" I ordered as soon as Bobby answered. It'll be over three hours since Babe was rushed in an ambulance by the time I finally reach her side.
"We're at Penn Medicine Princeton." I nodded even though he couldn't see me. I know exactly where in Plainsboro that Medical Center is. It was most likely the closest ER, which is fine. Babe's under Rangeman's medical insurance. "She'll get to go home in about an hour at most." Bobby shared that the doctor wanted to keep Babe in observation for a bit longer before she was discharged.
"She gets to go home or she wants to go home?" I know Stephanie. She hates hospitals, especially if she has to be admitted. Ending the day in a medical facility is very low on Babe's list.
"Both." Bobby said before he disconnected. Asshole. Maybe Babe is up to something with her claim that our phone manners could use some tweaking.
I turned the nearly fifty minute drive into a slightly over thirty one. Did I skirt the line on some traffic laws? No. Did I flat out break traffic laws? Absolutely. Do I care? Not in the slightest.
"I have your discharge paperwork and aftercare instructions." I overheard the nurse saying as I neared bed eight. Bobby arranged for me to get patched through immediately. He must have told them I was Babe's husband. "Can you verify your name and date of birth?" The nurse asked as she leaned down to look at Babe's hospital wristband.
"Stephanie Plum." Babe answered, her eyes immediately changing to a bright blue when she spotted me standing behind the nurse. "October twelve nineteen…" Babe mumbled the rest of her birth year, too busy raking her gaze over my frame.
"Oh…" The nurse flashed Stephanie a sweet smile. "Happy Birthday." She said in as perky a tone as she could muster. At Babe's grimace, the nurse patted her hand reassuringly. "You'll get to spend the rest of the afternoon and night at home." The nurse tried as a way to reassure Babe.
"Yay." Stephanie deadpanned.
"Thank you." I said to the nurse as Bobby took possession of the discharge paperwork.
"I'll get the prescription filled." Bobby gave Babe a soft smile before he left us alone.
"You came." Babe smiled drowsily, looking up at me with the most adorable expression.
My heart beat faster with the realization that this could have been so much worse. Losing Babe isn't an option for me, which was one of the reasons why we finally bared ourselves to each other. We've been in an exclusive relationship for over six months. I want to spend the rest of our lives together. The feeling is mutual, so we both cherish every moment together. On days like today, I tend to spend additional time seaking close physical contact. Knowing that, Stephanie reached for me with her good arm.
"I'll always come for you, Babe." My smile widened when she burst into a fit of giggles. "You've been spending way too much time with Santos." I declared, knowing full well she was thinking of a different context in which I come for her.
"Yup." Babe agreed, letting me help guide her down the maze of hallways.
Once we reached my Turbo, Stephanie slid onto the bucket seat with ease. I couldn't wait any longer, so I leaned down to kiss her lips softly.
"Mmm, what was that for?" Babe asked after I pulled back. Her eyes were half lidded as she stared into mine. I watched as the dark blue swirled, her eyes changing color once again. I might just be addicted to every one of the ever changing electrifying hues.
Grinning, I leaned in for another quick kiss. "Just because I love you, Babe." That earned me a lazy smile and sparkling gaze.
The nearly twenty minute drive to Rangeman was spent in silence. Babe was too beat for her usual car chatter.
"Babe." I slid my hand across the top of her left shoulder, careful not to jostle her arm, then squeezed the back of her neck softly.
"I'm awake." She murmured before tilting her head slightly to be able to look at me.
"Ella and the guys have a little surprise for you in the fifth floor break room. Are you up for it?" Tank sent me a text when I was about five minutes away from Haywood. Everyone at Rangeman is hoping to make the day suck a little less for Stephanie.
"Yah." Babe nodded as I reached for my door handle. Rounding the front of the Turbo took me three long strides, and by the time I opened Babe's door she'd already unbuckled herself.
"Easy there." I reminded when I caught her wince.
"Got it." Stephanie nodded as she once again allowed me to steer her in the right direction.
"If you're feeling dizzy, you can push this back."
"No, I want to."
"Stephanie." She sounds exactly like she does when she's exhausted, but fighting sleep.
"I will let you take me to bed after we make a quick stop on five." Babe's promise made me smirk as we loaded the elevator.
"I always want to take you to bed." I teased as I wrapped my arm around her waist before pressing the button for the fifth floor. "Tonight, though, it'll be only for sleep." I whispered in her ear that our sexy convo from this morning where we highlighted everything we wanted to do to and with each other after my week long Miami trip would have to wait until she was better. A promised raincheck of sorts.
"You're no fun. It's just a scratch." Babe teased right back, mumbling that it was only her arm that was out of commission.
"Babe." It was way more than a scratch and she knows it.
"Fine." Stephanie's pout of mock disappointment earned her another peck on the lips. "Yum." She murmured as we unloaded on the fifth floor.
"Happy Birthday to you…" The men and Ella broke into song as soon as Stephanie crossed the threshold into the break room. The cohesiveness of the song disintegrated momentarily as everyone used a different name for Babe. Bomber, Beautiful, Little Girl, and Stephanie all intermingled as our team did their best rendition of the classic.
"Thank you." Babe's gaze became glassy as tears welled in her eyes. Wrapping my arms around her waist from behind gave Babe the necessary comfort. It's not easy for her to accept praise, much less displays of love. I, of all people, know how much she cherishes any genuine display of affection.
"I baked you my version of a pineapple upside down cake." Ella's warm smile was mirrored by Babe's.
"I love you!" Babe said just before she bent at the waist to blow out her candles. My hold tightened when she swayed slightly as she straightened. Her hand automatically reached back, patting my thigh reassuringly to let me know that she was okay. It was also a silent thanks for having her back.
"Bomber…" Cal was the first to approach, signaling that he had something to tell her. I watched with curiosity as he leaned close to her right ear. Whatever he whispered had Stephanie smirking from ear to ear.
"Yeah." Babe gave Cal the go ahead. He too smiled broadly before disappearing from the room.
"What was that about?" Woody asked, looking relatively unharmed despite his passing out incident.
"I'm getting two cakes!" Stephanie shared that Cal also baked something to honor this occasion.
"Babe." My tone conveyed that no, she couldn't devour two whole cakes on her own.
"A slice of each?" She asked hopefully. "Fine. Half a slice of each." Her compromise was as sweet as I imagine said homemade baked pastries will be.
Ella was busy cutting and plating her cake, saving a rather large piece with a full pineapple ring for Stephanie.
"Hahahaha!" Babe's laugh was infectious. Whatever Cal made must be unconventional, yet perfect for this moment to have Babe in a fit of laughter.
"What is it?" Hal asked, craning his neck to try to look at Cal's partially obstructed from view pastry.
"Did he burn it?" Lester pestered. He looked way too smug about it too.
"Nope." Babe shook her head, causing her curls to brush against my face.
The moment Cal unveiled his masterpiece, silence fell in the room. It was a bit disconcerting. One moment the room was full of chatter and the next you could hear a pin drop.
"Is that a…" Binkie didn't even get to finish when Zero pointed out the obvious.
"It's a dick shaped cake." Zero, amongst some of the other men, looked a little shocked.
"Ha!" Lester, unlike the others, found this little joke extremely hilarious. He would. "Your FTA was named Leacock…" Using the fingers of one hand, Lester set out to point out whatever dots he just connected. "...who got his junk cut off for being a total waste of skin…" Several affirmative grunts erupted in the room. I personally will ensure that Leacock never gets to harm anyone ever again. "... while partnered with Woody…" By now Santos is in a full on laughing fit. "... and you're getting a dick shaped cake? Hahahaha!"
"Mmm. Who wants a piece?" Ella joined in on the fun, quickly setting out to slice through Cal's anatomically correct creation.
"Hard pass." Woody looked a bit green as he waved his hands in front of his face. "Nope."
"Aw, come on!" Santos was all too eager to rib the men. "Don't be a bunch of pussies. Have some dick." Normally, I'd reprimand Santos for being too crass, however, even I have to admit that he was spot on creative.
"Fuck it." Ram shrugged as he took the first plate Ella offered packed with a slice of each. "Cake is cake." Ram said in his defense, quickly digging in. The men watched his reaction closely. "It's buttery soft and creamy." Ram flashed the room a cheeky grin as we all watched Woody pale further. Oh, Woody's not going to live this down for years to come.
"Happy Birthday, Babe." My lips brushed against the shell of her ear as I asked what she wished for.
"More time with all of you." Was her simplistic reply.
"I want more time with you. Always." My arms automatically squeezed her middle as I placed a kiss on the side of her neck.
"Want to feed me some cake?" Babe suggested. "Since you know, my arm's out of commission and all?" The bright grin she flashed me when she tilted her head back to look at me filled me with an immense amount of joy.
"Babe." She should know better than to play with fire, yet Stephanie loves to test the limits. Of course, I'm all for it. I think we've both had this soft spot for cake ever since I fed her that frosting rose after Scrog. Sure, we won't get to do what we normally do after I seductively feed her a slice of cake, but I'm okay with it. As long as she's by my side, that's all I need.
