Room 101 | Chapter Two

A Harry Potter Fanfiction By Majokai Yukiko

Pairing: Sirius + Remus

Warning: Slash

Rating: PG-15, so far.

Spoilers: A 'What-if' story following Prisoner of Azkaban

This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J K Rowling, Scholastic Books and their associates.

A/N: Wrote this in a day's time, when I was too sick to concentrate on studying for exams, but well enough to be easily bored.

Dedicated to Ally. Merry Christmas 2003

Replies to my beloved readers:

Not Asha: I've to admit I'm rather affected by OotP too. ^^ Just that, well, I thought Harry, however independent, will have all sorts of insecurity that every teenager seems to have. Especially so when he just had a new family and was unsure of his place in this family.

My Harry muse is a very teenage-angsty one, I must admit. I think that kid has got a hard life and that itself can make anyone very insecure towards whatever happiness he had at the mo.

Doctor Zosfmov: Relevance to Room 101? Somewhat, I think. *scratches head* Oh well, the so-called room will appear in this chapter.

mystic-angel5: Thank you for that passionate reply. ^_____________^ Actually, I have written up to the fourth chapter already. Started on my fifth one today. Just waiting for enough reviews before I post. SO...why not you plug this to your friends and get me more reviews? ^0^

Anyway, I've checked your profile. The Harry Potter one, I'll look at it when I'm free. Probably next week or so. But the rest are mostly poetry and though I write poems sometimes, I'm terrible at it. So can't offer any helpful advice on that side, sorry.

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"The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world" ~O'Brien to Winston, 1984

The evening walk contingent later only consisted of Sirius and Harry. Ron had been asked, very politely, to stay behind and help out Remus with the dinner, given that the man had not been feeling well these days and should not be left alone in a potentially dangerous place like the kitchen. The redhead agreed, seeing that Sirius needed to have some sort of father-to-son talk with Harry. His father had prep-talked him before too, especially before their third year when he was frequently advised regarding teenage relationships. His brothers, Fred and George, had chipped in too with silly ideas, such as to sneak into the girls' dormitory without being caught.

Sirius, on the other hand, had no interest in discussing boy-girl relationships with his godson. James had fumbled through his teenage years, with unsent love letters and sleepless nights. He was sure Harry would have no problems with relationships too.

No, there was something more important he needed to talk to Harry about.

Harry dragged his feet across the grass, kicking mindlessly at the wild grass, his lips pursed tightly together. Sirius kept walking, once in a while turning back to check if his godson was still following. They only stopped when they had reached the edge of a lake.

Sirius picked up a small pebble from the ground and tossed it at the water, watching it bounce across the surface before sinking.

"Harry…" he started, plopping down on the ground and making himself comfortable. He patted the ground next to him, and smiled, gesturing for Harry to sit down beside him. The teenager sat down reluctantly.

"Look, Harry. I'm not good at talking. But I'll have to try my best." Sirius took a deep breath, bracing himself. "I'm not trying to tell you that Remus is right by running away from England into Eastern Europe. But you have to understand his situation then, Harry."

"What situation?" Harry muttered sarcastically.

"Imagine: he's a werewolf, a dark creature shunned by the entire community. The only people who had accepted him for who he was and befriended him were either dead or imprisoned. Alone, friendless, with no one to turn to." Sirius shrugged. He himself had not had full knowledge of Remus' disappearance. He thought, when he was sent to Azkaban, Remus would have turn to Bill Weasley for help. In those twelve lonely years, he had accepted that his lover would have found comfort in another's arms. He was upset, but he was glad, knowing that Bill loved Remus enough to protect him from those who had hurt him for whom he could not help being. It was a surprise to him that after twelve years, when they met in the Shack again, Remus would once again embraced him as if ten years were just one.

Sirius shook his head, shaking himself out of his musings.

"I don't blame him for running. How do you expect him to care for you when everybody else thought, simply because of his lycanthropy, that he was in league with me, and with Voldemort? If you were him, weren't you have done the same?"

Harry sighed, pulled his legs closer to himself and folded his arms over them, not knowing what to say to that. Putting things into this perspective, his earlier anger had seemed rather childish. But like all teenagers, Harry had nothing but stubborn pride. He had no idea how to say sorry without admitting to his immature outburst. He could only bury his head deeper into the crook of his arms.

Thankfully, Sirius seemed to have realized that it was difficult for his godson to apologize. He grinned, stretching out a hand to ruffle the already ruffled black hair affectionately. He got onto his feet and held out a hand to Harry.

"I'll race you home, Harry," he said, and pounded off in the form of a large black dog.

***

Remus smiled when Padfoot returned with Harry close behind, face flushed from the run. He had sensed the darkness of mood hanging over the boy when they left, though not knowing the cause. He was glad Sirius had managed to talk the boy out of his despair, just like how he had frequently done so for James so many years ago.

Harry dashed into the house and ran straight towards Remus, throwing his arms around the man's neck and buried his face into one shoulder. The brunette hitched a breath, puzzled at the sudden show of affection, and tried his best to push off the instinctive reaction of throwing Harry off him. He had no idea why he would feel that way. Perhaps it had just been too long since he was so physically close to someone who was not his mate.

He cast a worried look at Sirius, who had transformed back. But his lover only had a grin on his face.

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered and then quickly disappeared up the stairs. Remus raised an eyebrow curiously, shrugged and went back to get the dishes out. Kids.

He took out a couple of plates off the shelves, and then closed his eyes. A shiver coursed through his spine suddenly, and Remus felt his body temperature drop. He could hear voices, muffled but loud, and it was not Sirius half cradling him and asking what was wrong. The voice seemed to come from within him, yelling from inside his mind.

He felt like he was floating in a dark void, so cold he might as well be dead. Weak trembling hands reached out, pressing palms tightly over his ears. Louder, the voices were getting louder as seconds ticked by. Louder and clearer, until he could hear the words, the words that he had not heard for over a decade. Words that he had no wish to hear again. 

"Remus…" he murmured before losing consciousness. 

***

Remus' fever got worse during the night. Sirius had fallen into an exhaustion-induced doze when he felt the trashing began. He pushed himself up, throwing a worried look at his lover's direction and pursed his lips, wanting to get up and fetch a wet cloth from the bathroom. A weak but insistent grip around his waist stopped him.

"I didn't mean it!" Remus cried out. "I don't want him to hate me! But I had no choice! I didn't mean it!"

Sirius frowned, sitting back down on the bed and squeezing Remus' hand comfortingly. "Hush, love."  

Remus levered himself up to sitting and seized the front of Sirius' shirt, pulling him close, as if he was trying to memorize every detail of that face with his fever-glazed eyes. "He will hate me."

"Who?"

The brunette shook his head from side to side, as if denying the question. He repeated, incoherently under his breath, something about a particular someone hating him for what he had done. For what he had no choice but did. For a brief moment, as he pushed his lover back onto the soft sheets, Sirius felt fear. Had Remus done something that had endangered their relationship? He wondered. What could it be, that had gotten the man so guilt-stricken that he had fallen ill with it? Sirius thought back to the past couple of weeks since his release, trying to draw some clues from his memories. None.

That brief moment passed when Remus shuddered and closed his eyes, calling a name softly as he fell into a restless sleep.

He called his own name.

Sirius eased himself up the headboard, and got comfortable. He sighed, running his fingers through his long hair. He had heard many things when he was in Azkaban, inane ramblings by the insane, growing madder as more of them gathered. But never had he heard anyone calling their own name in their sleep.

Looking down at the sleeping figure, Sirius realized he was afraid. He, who had survived the horrors of the Dementors, was actually afraid for his mate. Something was haunting Remus and he could not protect his lover from it, because he had no idea what it was. Could he save someone from himself?  

Not knowing what else he could do, he slid back down under the covers and hugged Remus close to himself. If given a choice, he would never want to let go.

***

The corridor was bright. There were just two walls on each side of him, and one door at the end of the passageway. The brunette held one hand over his eyes, as he felt frantically at the walls, trying to make his way down the corridor. It was too bright for him to see. Green and red spots colored his vision. He kept his head down, hoping that it would reduce the glare on his eyes.

It was useless, for the ground seemed to be made up of some refractory material. All around him was just light, fiery white light. Where was this? He wondered, noting with awe and a slight tinge of fear that he had no shadow. It might be just a trick of the light, but not seeing his own shadow scared him. It was as if…he was just about as substantial as a fictional fairy.

Rubbing his fingers together to assure himself of his existence, he quickened his footsteps, and finally reached the closed door. He turned the knob, and pushed.

While the outside was light, inside the room was dark. There felt like there was some sort of a black hole in the room, sucking in all the light and heat there was. Slowly, he shut the door behind him, and wrapped his arms around himself, providing with some slight protection against the bone-chilling cold.

The darkness hurt his eyes, just as much as the light had. He blinked, just to ensure that his eyes were still there. The darkness unnerved him, more than the light did. Then he heard it. Loud and jarring; it was the sounds of chains dragging across the concrete floor.

He cleared his throat, trying out his voice in this sense-deprived environment. He could still hear and feel. That was good. That was a bit more assuring. "Hello?" He asked. "Anybody out there?"

The sound of chains grew louder. And then it stopped.

"Boo." A voice spoke from behind him. It was his voice he heard.

***

He must have fallen asleep again, for he had woken up the next morning to a pair of large amber eyes, watching him from above. Sirius smiled, reaching out a hand to caress the smooth cheek tenderly. The skin still felt warm to the touch, but it was slightly better than the way it was the night before. Remus returned the smile and pressed a chaste kiss to Sirius' lips.

"Good morning, Padfoot."

"Good morning, Moony. Feeling better?" Sirius asked carefully, studying the closed expression on Remus' face. A big part of him was screaming to get his lover off to St. Mungo's, where healers would be around to provide a logical explanation as to why Remus had suddenly fainted. But another part of him, the rational part, had dredged up fifteen-year-old memory of the last time he had bundled Remus off to see a healer.

It was hard trying to get his hospital-hating lover to the healers, and even harder to get a healer who would want to help a werewolf.

Remus nodded and got off the bed, padding off to the bathroom. In the wee light of the morning, the bathroom light was about the only illumination there was in the room.

The sound of water filling the tub started, and above the noise, was Remus asking what had happened to him the day before.

"I don't know," Sirius answered truthfully, and then paused. Should he ask Remus about what he had said in his fevered dreams? Confused and disorientated, the black haired man swung his legs off the mattress and made his way to the bathroom too, leaning against the doorframe silently.

Remus was brushing his hair with a white plastic hairbrush, smiling at him through the reflection. Sirius wanted to ask, 'is there something you want to tell me about?' but upon seeing his lover's beautiful though still a little pale face, he held back.

"You are beautiful," he whispered, going up to Remus, circling his arms around the slim waist. The other man grimaced a little.

"Sirius, women are beautiful."

"You are too."

"And you are sappy."

Sirius grinned, and nuzzled into the long curvy neck he loved so much. He loved this man, he needed this man, and nothing could change that. Whatever Remus had done before, they were together now. New beginnings, fresh starts. They were together after so many years of separation, and that's what that was important. The past were passed, there was no point in dwelling on them any further.

His lips traveled slowly up to the chin, before capturing the sweet mouth with his own. His arms tightened instinctively around his lover's waist, long fingers teasing playfully at the waistband of the sweat pants Remus had worn to bed. "I love you," he murmured against the kiss, his other hand sliding up the old T-shirt to explore a dusky pink nipple. Remus gasped.

"Sirius…"

"Hmm…?"

"Want to go back to bed?"

***

"Are you all right?" Bill asked when Remus entered the office later that day. "Heard from Ron that you fainted yesterday."

"Uh huh," Remus answered the affirmative, pulling out a couple of case files he was working on the day before from the shelves and humming a cheery tune under his breath.

Bill drew his eyebrows together suspiciously, wondering if his brother had just played him. Remus did look paler than usual that morning, but definitely not like a man who had just fainted out of no reason the day before. Still with a frown on his face, he sneaked up to Remus and took a deep breath of the air around the man. A slow smirk began to curl around his lips.

"Ah…sexual healing," he finally said, and then pressed a hand seductively to the small of Remus' back. "Do you need a second opinion?" Remus grinned and slid away with his files to his table.

"No, thanks," he chuckled, straightening out the folders on the table. "My personal doctor's is enough."

Bill shrugged his shoulders casually and made his way back to his office. Only with his heightened senses had Remus managed to pick up what the man was muttering under his breath.

"Well, never hurt for a guy to try."

The werewolf sat down, leaning against the soft leather cushions of his armchair, trying hard not to think about the strange dream he had the night before. He stretched out his arms above his head with a pleased sigh, feeling much better than he had in days, and then opened the folder at the top of his stack to flip through it idly.

Guess Bill was right to call it 'sexual healing' after all.

***

Harry turned the page of his Prophet, casually taking another glance at the clock on the kitchen wall. Sirius was not home yet. He had not been home the night before either. Merlin only knows what the man had up his sleeve this time.

The rattling of keys at the front door made the boy sit up a little straight.

"Argh! I'm beat." Sirius complained as he entered the house, tossing his briefcase and keys onto the coffee table. He shrugged out of his outer robe, making a beeline straight towards the kitchen for a much needed drink.

Harry pursed his lips, waiting for his godfather to explain his absence. When the explanation did not come, he gritted his teeth as well.

"There's another 'werewolf' killing last night," Harry finally said, referring to the headlines of his newspapers and hoping that Sirius would pick up on the thread of conversation and EXPLAIN.

"I know," Sirius answered from behind his cup. "I was there."

Harry spun round in his seat in shock, while the older man only chuckled gleefully, digging into his pocket and tossing a piece of parchment on the table. "The owl came yesterday morning, when Remus was out and you were still asleep."

The boy picked up the letter and folded it open, scanning quickly through its contents. Slowly, his face began to brighten from the scowl to a large wide smile.

"That's good news, Sirius!"

"Yup! They took me back. Ha! Sirius Black, the best Auror the ministry ever had."

"Does Remus know?" Sirius shook his head. He had no time to inform his lover of his reinstatement as an Auror. He reported back to the Ministry the day before and that night he had been sent out with two more others to investigate yet another gruesome murder at London's East End. He spent the next day at the office, sorting out information and listing possible suspects, barely having enough time to grab a quick bite before rushing off for investigations again.

The killings were putting everyone on edge, muggles as well as wizards. It was too gruesome and savagely to be done by a human. It could not have been a vampire, since the victims' blood was not drained. Nor could it be any other more demonic creatures. Those would have attracted too much attention for the murder to be committed with such stealth. The only possibility left was a werewolf. But they were not anywhere close to the full moon yet.

Sirius sighed. Tough job.

After his drink, Sirius placed his cup in the dishwasher and retrieved his things from the coffee table, making his way up to the stairs back to his room to apologize to his mate about his uninformed absence and possibly, to just crash into bed and sleep.

He was so out of shape. Just two days of endless working and there he was, ready to collapse out of exhaustion. He should really be putting some effort into a new training regime before he fell asleep when he was on the field.

His room door was open when he reached it. The sound of water running in the shower was loud in the empty room. Sirius smiled, throwing his outer robe onto the bed and proceeded to unbutton his shirt. Then, dressed only in his boxers, he closed and locked the door behind him, spreading out supine on the soft bed, waiting for his lover to be out of the bathroom.

He was not disappointed. The bathroom door slid open, revealing a freshly showered Remus behind it, dressing in a white fluffy robe, toweling his longish hair dry. Remus grinned when he saw Sirius. Letting his towel fall to the ground, he got onto the bed on his hands and knees, seductively crawling up to the other man, blanketing Sirius' sweaty body with his own clean one. Bright blue eyes peeked open behind closed lids.

"Hi Remus," he greeted, hugging the lithe body close, nuzzling his nose into the damp brown hair.  Sirius felt Remus smile against his skin, and then ran his small but dangerously sharp fangs carefully down his throat.

"Where did you go?"

"The Ministry. I'm accepted back as an Auror again."

Remus sighed, pricking the pliant skin just enough to draw blood. "I thought you left me again."

Sirius wrapped his fingers around the soft hair, pressing Remus closer to his throat, submitting to his mate with that small gesture. Claim me, he pleaded mentally, and be assured that it will never happened again.

***

End of Chapter 2

Continue to Chapter 3