Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. They belong to their creators.

A/N: I hadn't planned to write a second chapter, but I felt like the story wasn't really finished. I'm not sure it is now, but with this story I just wanted to show that sometimes things just not work out just fine. The part about the autopsy is autobiographical. I didn't put in my contacts when I attended my first autopsy. Currently I'm registered as a student assistant during the gross anatomy sessions, so everything turned out just fine. A first autopsy can be a bit overwhelming though. BTW I repeated the conversation between Sara and Nick (chapter 1). I hope it is clearer who said what now.

Pairing: N/S


Sara's past

"Are you sure about this?" Nick asked Sara not letting go of her.

"You?"

"I have always loved you, with or without your past." Nick answered knowing there was nothing he was more sure of in his entire life.

"We have to slow the pace, we need to heal, the both of us. I don't want us to end up hating each other, because we rushed things. It's not that I don't love you but it's the state I'm in I can't be good to you like this. "

He cradled her face in his hands. "I have all the time in the world."

She felt so confident yesterday after her conversation with Nick. She was sure everything was going to be alright, but now she wasn't so sure anymore. It was all so confusing. Things were moving too fast for her to comprehend what was happening. One moment it was about her life story being revealed and the next it was about starting a life with Nick. He said he was willing to wait, but was he really? And most of all did she want him to wait? She wasn't sure. She hated to be like this, insecure, but that was how she was feeling and she couldn't change it. She needed to work. Work always made her feel better, but at work she would be surrounded by people who needed an explanation. Who expected something from her. It was her only option though. If she would stay at home she would go crazy.

She entered the lab and walked towards the locker room when she saw Greg dancing in his lab. She smiled. Some things never did change.

"Hey Sara, come over for a sec." She saw Greg motioning her to come over.

"Hey Greg, what's up," she asked noticing his normally happy face was looking a bit nervous.

"I will attend my first autopsy today and I was wondering if you heard if the others have planned something," Greg nervously responded.

Sara knew that new CSIs attending their first autopsies were put through some kind of initiation routine, but she hadn't heard either Warrick or Nick talk about it. She was sure Nick had other things on his mind and Warrick wouldn't plan something without his best friend.

"Not that I've heard of," she said smiling at him reassuringly. "Don't worry about it too much Greggo. The first time I attended an autopsy was at University and I didn't put in my contacts in case the sight of the corpse would be too much for me. I did bring along my glasses and in the end I never took them off. It was really silly, but I just needed to make sure I wasn't able to see something I couldn't deal with."

Greg started to show some color on his cheeks again. After four years he knew she wasn't going to return his feelings, but he was glad they turned out to be good friends. He had heard about her past and was aware she didn't want to talk about it, but he still felt he couldn't act like he didn't know.

"Sar, uhm, I just wanted to let you know I've heard and if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know," he said shyly.

Sara was surprised by the sudden change of their conversation, but noticed his words came from his heart. She stepped up to him and hugged him.

"Thanks, Greg, that means a lot to me," she said before she turned around seeing Grissom standing in his office observing them. She saw him redirecting his stare to something on his desk. She sighed. He was someone she would have to deal with, but not right now.

When she entered the break room she saw Nick sitting on the coach. Normally he would have come looking for her, but he probably thought she needed some space to figure things out. He had been right, but she still missed his attention. He looked up from his case file and smiled at her. Did he know what he could do to her? That smile of his made her want to forget all the doubts that had filled her mind this morning, but she couldn't. Studying him she wondered why everything in her life had to be so complicated. She had initiated the change in their relationship and he had given her the control over the direction their relationship would take from now on. She didn't realize however how thin the line between friendship and love was. She needed his friendship now more than ever, but she was afraid to be near him. Not afraid of him, but afraid of herself. She wasn't sure she could control herself being near him. The entrance of the rest of the team broke her reverie.

"Nick, Warrick robbery gone bad at the mall. Catherine , Sara, you two are with me DB at an ice rink." Grissom said while he observed the exchange of looks between Nick and Sara. He had noticed how protective Nick was of Sara and it wouldn't be easy to talk to Sara alone, which was the reason why he had assigned them to different cases.

Nick was well aware what the motivations of his boss were and volunteered to go back to the lab early to give Bobby some of the bullets they retrieved, so he could figure out if they matched the gun they found in a trash can outside the mall. He wanted to be at the lab if Sara needed him. He was worried about her. She didn't need Grissom pushing her into a conversation she wasn't ready to have and he didn't need Grissom messing with her head again. The foundations of their relationship were still so weak. One blow would destroy them and it would destroy him. She had given him his word, but he knew that she was confused about everything. That was why he had given her control, which was something he regretted right now. After he dropped off the bullets with Bobby he went looking for Sara.

Sara had returned to the lab with some of the DNA samples they retrieved from the crime scene. Greg hadn't been working in the DNA lab full time today because of the autopsy he was attending, so she had to wait around for her DNA samples to be processed. Her beeper going off startled both her and Greg.

"It's Grissom," she told him. "I'm going to see what he wants. I will be right back, so don't stop working on my samples."

She didn't have the time to talk to Nick this morning. Grissom assigning them to different cases didn't help either. She decided she had to find him after she had spoken to Grissom about their case. At least she hoped he had paged her about their case.

She hesitated entering Grissom's office. Standing in the doorway gave her the feeling she could flee whenever she wanted to. Grissom noticed her presence and motioned her to come over and sit in the chair located opposite from him. She cautiously entered his office, but decided not to sit down. If she did, she would be stuck.

"Sara," Grissom started saying hesitantly. Not knowing how to continue the conversation he had practiced so many times. "I, uh, I'm not sure where to start."

Sara looked down at her hands realizing this conversation wasn't going to be about their case. She wanted to get out, but most of all she wanted Nick to be there.

"We used to be such good friends, but somewhere down the line we lost that. I know it's all my fault. I was a coward and I'm so sorry."

His words didn't upset her, but what he said next did.

"I love you, Sara. I always did. From the first time I met you, I have always loved you."

She had wanted to hear those words for so long and now they were out in the open it was like she didn't care anymore.

She looked up at him, which he apparently took as a sign it was okay to continue. He got up and walked over to her.

"I know now is not the best time, but I want you to know I will be waiting for you."

She felt like she was frozen, not being able to move when he pulled her into his arms. His arms pulling her closer made her realize she didn't want this. She pushed him away freeing herself from his embracement.

"No!" she yelled. "No, don't say that and don't touch me."

Shock registered on his face.

Nick heard Sara yell from what seemed like Grissom's office. He started to run towards the office when Catherine grabbed his arm.

"Let them sort it out," she said not letting go of his arm. "It is time they get their feelings out in the open."

"No!" he said jerking his arm away from Catherine. "She is mine."

Catherine looked at him like he had gone crazy. "She is yours?" she repeated his words when everything suddenly dawned on her. The touches, the looks, the whispers the two younger CSIs had exchanged had been something more than just friendship. She then realized that her friend was trying to claim something that hadn't been his for a long time.

Nick had continued his way over to Grissom's office. Arriving there he found Sara backed up against the wall trying to get as much space between her and Grissom as possible. He entered the office and claimed his place next to her.

"Nick, now is not the time. Can you please leave us?" Grissom asked while Sara grabbed Nick's hand. A movement which didn't go unnoticed by Grissom and Catherine who was now standing in the doorway.

Nick started stroking the back of her hand with his thumb and felt her body relax next to him. Neither of them answered Grissom's plea.

Catherine saw a mixture of jealousy and anger flash through Grissom's eyes.

"So, this is how things are then?!" Grissom said looking at the both of them.

"Nick, please, get me out of here." Sara whispered.

He looked at her questioningly wondering if they should leave things like that.

"This is how things are," she said loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.


A/N: Please R&R, your comments are much appreciated.