Chapter 5
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"Roadkill Warthog"
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The Wild Thornberry's doesn't belong to me and thank God.
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Debbie had been sleeping in the comvee for 2 weeks straight. No food, water, or magazines. The cable had gone off long ago and Debbie had no idea how to fix it...
Debbie: Lyke, am I supposed to be doing something?
She glances back over to the tape and it dawns on her that she's supposed to be finding a warthog in a trap.
Debbie: Lyke, I remember now! I'm supposed to be getting a manicure in Switzerland right about now!
She glances down at her watch and it's 5 weeks past her appointment.
Debbie: Lyke, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
She gets to the steering wheel, and in some mad attempt to get to Switzerland from the middle of Africa, she puts the comvee into gear and it sped off.
5 hours later
BUMP!
Debbie: Lyke, what was that!
She jumps out and looks behind the comvee, where a small heap of some sort lays. Dead.
Debbie: Lyke.... I killed it.... COOL!
She grabs a stick and starts poking it for fun. She pokes it hard enough, and it rolls to one side, revealing a warthog attached to a trap. What a ditz.
Debbie: OMG! It's lyke, that warthog Eliza told me about in that video! Lyke, isn't it supposed to grant me powers to lyke, talk to animals?
All of a sudden, a fat man with weird clothing on walks out of the woods.
Fat dude: Okay Joe, it's my turn for the warthog shift!
He looks down to where Debbie is standing over the carcass of once-alive Joe.
Fat dude: OHMYGOD YOU KILLED JOE!!!
He screeches something up towards the sky and rushes by Joe's side and starts to do CPR.
Fat dude: JOE! DON'T GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT!!!! DON'T LEAVE MEEEEEEE!!!!!!
He grabs the remains of Joe and starts doing the Heimlich Maneuver, the body flying like a limp rag doll.
Through all this, Debbie watches on in confusion.
Debbie: Lyke, who are you?
The fat dude looks over to Debbie, the body of Joe falling from his hands. A bunch of hyenas come from out of nowhere and grab the body, running off and cackling triumphantly.
Fat Dude: I am.... FLOOPADOOKIE! And since you killed Joe, I guess I'll give you a free wish. So what do ya want?
Debbie: Well that's easy! I lyke, want clothes, a normal family, clothes, magazines, money, clothes, jewelry, make-up, clothes, and..... TO BE QUEEN! Did I mention clothes?
Fat dude: Uhh, I'll go with your last request....
There's a sudden flash of light and and Debbie suddenly gets shocked and Debbie goes out cold... Everything goes black....
TO BE CONTINUED
What will happen to Debbie?! Will she become queen, or will she get clothes? HOW DO YOU KNOW??!!!! Find out on Part 5 of the Debbie Queen!
