Thanks to:
Anne-Marie
ScruffyWes
Dreamer Child – I know, I read other stories, like becks89's The Youngest Evans and I'm really impatient for them to get together but then I do the same in my fic. Ah well, at least with this story you know that they will be together eventually and have been before!
Erak
Darla56 – I honestly don't know but it will be quite a while before we see Sirius again.
Vampy the chosen one
Miz
C@rMeiNa
Charmedfanatic3000
Chapter 9 – Murderous Rage
As the afternoon progressed, the house was increasingly frequently
disturbed by the arrival of an Order member for that evenings meeting. Mrs.
Black was so frequently woken that in the end they just left her howling and
cursing.
The Order assembled in the drawing room on the variety of chairs whilst Harry,
Ron, Ginny, George, Fred, Molly, Lupin and Buffy sat in the kitchen waiting for
Dumbledore to show up.
"Mum, why can't we go to the
meeting?" Fred moaned. "We're of age now, we should be allowed."
"No," Molly replied firmly. "You aren't
members of the Order so you can't attend the Order meeting."
"So let us join," Fred argued. "We
should have that choice. We want to fight."
"No," Molly repeated. "It's bad enough
with half the family in the Order; I'm not having you risking your lives. We'll
consider it in a year." Fred and George wore identical scowls. Buffy had the
feeling that this was an argument they'd had before.
"Do I get to go to the meeting?"
Harry asked hopefully but Lupin shook his head. Harry joined Fred and George in
scowling.
"Sorry, Harry but you're not old
enough," Lupin said seriously. "You'll be filled in where necessary but
Dumbledore says it's too dangerous for any of you to know anything, Voldemort
could use you to get information." Buffy noticed once again Harry's jaw tense
at the mention of Dumbledore's name.
"Am I allowed to go?" Buffy said, trying
to lighten the situation. Lupin smiled.
"You're the guest of honour," he said
jokingly and Buffy gulped nervously and gave him a weak smile. Fred and Georges
scowls darkened.
"You're only a few years older than us,"
George complained.
"But I've been on slayer duty since I
was fifteen," Buffy contradicted. "And it wasn't a personal choice." Fred and
George still scowled but the slump of their shoulders signalled their defeat. A
loud crack sounded in the hallway and Dumbledore opened the kitchen door.
"We're ready to begin," he said, smiling
benignly at the. Buffy, Lupin and Molly got up, Buffy noticing that Harry
refused to meet Dumbledore's gaze.
She followed Lupin and Molly into the drawing room and found seats with
them, nodding to Moody, Kingsley and Tonks in turn.
Dumbledore stood at the front of the room and they all quietened to hear him
speak.
"Thank you all for coming, I'll get to
the business after I introduce a new person who has been staying here for a
while," Dumbledore said, eyes twinkling at Buffy. "Buffy Summers is our visitor
from Sunnydale, California. Buffy is the vampire slayer, she has been living
and working on the hellmouth since the age of fifteen. The circumstances that
brought her here were not the best; she was Sirius' girlfriend." Buffy kept her
focus on Dumbledore, aware that a lot of people were looking at her. "Buffy
will be remaining at Grimmauld Place for an indefinite amount of time. I hope
you can all join me in extending her the invitation to join the Order of the
Phoenix." Buffy was startled, she hadn't expected to be invited into the fold
this quickly, but she supposed Sirius must have given a good report of her to
Dumbledore. She was flattered.
"I'd love to," she said, blushing with
pleasure. Dumbledore smiled at her.
"Now down to business," he said, turning
his focus back to the entire group. "The loss at the Ministry hit the Order
hard, as you are all aware but Voldemort is also suffering. He lost valuable
death eaters to Azkaban and he made himself known to the Ministry. The death
eaters will escape as long as Fudge leaves Azkaban in the hands of the
dementors but the knowledge that Voldemort has returned could be a harsh blow."
Buffy followed most of this conversation, her experience with dementors coming
in useful.
"Fudge has opened his eyes, he is no
longer trying to excommunicate me from the Ministry, in fact he is trying to
give me as much power as he can," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye. "I
think that Cornelius believes that he will get the credit for the work I do
through the Order. I have no concerns about credit, time will give it where it
is due, but it is important that we keep the Order as secret as possible. We
can manoeuvre where the Ministry cannot." Buffy listened carefully as the Order
members carefully recounted their activities during the past two weeks. She was
interested to see Snape discuss his actions within Voldemort's outer circle,
remembering the way she had knocked him out. She wondered it he knew anything
about that. From the looks he kept giving her, he despised her on some level,
even if it were only for being something to do with Sirius.
"Finally, we will be having a small remembrance service for Sirius Black in three days time, Friday morning at 10 o clock," Dumbledore said gravely. Buffy was aware of more eyes on her but she stared fixedly at Dumbledore, determined not to let down her guard in front of these strangers. "I hope to see you all there if possible."
The meeting wrapped up, Buffy a little put off at not being given orders like everyone else and feeling a little fragile at the mention of the service for Sirius. It made it final somehow.
Dumbledore gestured her over as the meeting broke up and the Order began to talk among themselves again.
"I hope I didn't put you on the
spot about joining," he said concernedly.
"No I was flattered to be honest," Buffy
assured him. "Sirius told me what an honour it is to be a member of the Order
of the Phoenix." Dumbledore smiled.
"We need all the help we can get in this time," he said honestly.
"You are probably wondering why you were
not given any orders," Dumbledore said wisely and Buffy nodded. "Part of the
reason is because there are none for you. If you are needed for any jobs, you
will be called upon, until then I would like you to remain here and spend some
time getting to known the Wizarding World and keeping an eye on Harry." Buffy
nodded.
"That's cool," she said. "We already
hung out a bit; he's a pretty cool kid. But he's seriously messed up. And you
are definitely not his favourite person." Dumbledore sighed.
"It's what I expected." he said with a
sigh. "Harry has a lot to blame me for. I represent everything in his life
that's causing him pain." Buffy bit her lip.
"I'll see what I can do," she said
finally. "There's a lot brewing below the surface for that boy. I assume he
hasn't told his friends about the prophecy?"
"Hermione and Ron are unaware of the
prophecy," Dumbledore confirmed. "He has not told them. The Order members know,
but none of the students."
"The floodgates will open," Buffy
predicted. "It's gonna hurt."
"And the remembrance service for Sirius?" Dumbledore said intuitively.
"I'm sorry I didn't mention it before, but it slipped my mind."
"I'll be there," Buffy assured him with
a sad smile.
"I don't suppose you'd consider making a
short speech," Dumbledore asked gently but Buffy shook her head, eyes beginning
to fill with tears.
"I can't….I don't want to become crying
Buffy in front of all those strangers," she said with a wistful smile. "And I
wouldn't know what to say….no, I just don't…"
"I understand," Dumbledore replied
gently with a reassuring smile. "I'd better get back to the Ministry; no doubt
Cornelius will have filled my desk already."
He smiled at Buffy and got up, leaving the room.
Buffy got up and was instantly met by a barrage of Order members, eager to greet the new member. Buffy lost track of all the names and hands she shook, all the members expressed excitement at meeting a slayer.
Finally, people began to filter out of the room to return home or to whatever jobs they had. Buffy was left in the drawing room with Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Moody, and Tonks. Snape stood a little way away discussing something with Kingsley. What appeared to be a bundle of rags with a head sticking out the top sat on the sofa, snoring lightly. Buffy recognised the figure as 'Dung' as the others had called him.
"So you're a member of the Order
now," Moody growled conversationally and Buffy nodded happily. "A slayer will
be a useful ally. I'd very much like to see you in action sometime." Buffy
nodded.
"Sure," she offered. "If
you can get me somewhere big enough and something to fight. What's the
demon activity in London like?"
"A lot of vampires," Moody remarked.
"The dark alleys and streets make it a perfect feeding ground."
"Maybe we can patrol sometime then,"
Buffy offered and Moody accepted.
Harry, Ron, Fred, George, Hermione
and Ginny entered the drawing room, looking around eagerly.
"How did it go?" Ron asked Buffy
eagerly. "What did they say? Were they all here? Where's Dumbledore?" Buffy
laughed.
"You sound like Hermione," she chuckled
and Ron coloured. "They said a lot of stuff, most of it I didn't understand and
isn't for me to relate to you. I think they were all here; there were a whole
lot of people anyways. Dumbledore had to split, something about Fudge."
"Dumbledore left?" Harry asked quickly.
His face closed over and Buffy figured that Harry wasn't too pleased about
being left alone. There was a lot there that Buffy didn't understand but she
intended to.
"There's going to be a memorial service
for Sirius on Friday," Buffy said quietly and Harry's eyes went opaque. "Ten o
clock and all the Order's gonna be there." No one spoke for a minute but then
Fred and George began to good naturedly pester their mother for more
information. Molly brushed them off and briskly walked into the kitchen to
prepare the meal for Harry and Hermione's welcoming meal.
Buffy offered Molly help but she declined so she along with the others settled
down in the drawing room. Buffy sat down on a sofa next to Severus Snape.
"So, a vampire
slayer?" Snape said dismissively. "And Black's
girlfriend? What a pleasure to meet you." Buffy smiled tightly at the
obvious sarcasm in his voice, resisting the urge to kick his vampire-wanabee
butt.
"We've met before," she said and
Snape looked confused. Buffy saw Harry, Fred and George notice them talking and
quieten down to listen.
"About two years ago," she continued.
"But then you wouldn't remember, would you?" Buffy could remember though, she
could see in her mind Snape pointing his wand at Sirius, and the feeling of
anger that had washed over her when he had been threatened. He could also
remember the things Sirius had mentioned in his letters, about his frustration
at being left in Grimmauld Place, and the way Snape had wound him up about not
being useful to the Order. Buffy saw recognition dawn on Snape's face as he
realised who she was and what she had done.
"You were in the Shrieking Shack," he
snarled. "You hit me with a piece of wood."
"No one messes with my boyfriend." Buffy
commented casually and Snape's eyes narrowed.
"Tell that to Bellatrix Lestrange," he
replied smoothly.
Buffy wasn't aware that she stood up, and wasn't aware that Snape did
too, but she was aware that she was grasping his throat as she pushed him against
the wall. Fury like she'd never felt before, rushed through her and she
tightened her grip on his neck, noting with satisfaction as the colour left his
face. She had never wanted to kill before, never actually wanted to take life
up til now. How dare he say that….how dare he even say Sirius' name?
Buffy could hear Remus shouting, but it was in the back of her mind, something
that didn't matter. Her other hand clenched into a fist and she felt her
knuckles crack. Fear crossed Snape's face; the fact that she was able to hold
him up with one hand obviously caused him some distress.
"Buffy!" Remus yelled pulling at her arm
and the others gathered around, not knowing what to do. "Let him go!" Buffy
took a deep breath and released his neck. Snape sprawled on the floor,
clutching at his neck in pain.
Buffy stood over him, ignoring Remus'
requests for her to sit down and relax. She glared down at Snape, anger
radiating down at him. He clambered up using the wall for support and pulled
out his wand, pointing it at her levelly.
A nerve flickered in his forehead and his face was unusually flushed as he
stared right back at her.
"Just like Black," he spat. "Reckless. Dangerous. A threat to yourself."
Buffy snarled, but Remus grabbed her arm. She shook him off and made to move
forward but all the occupants of the room grabbed her arms to restrain her,
with the exceptions of Harry and Moody.
"Get off," she snarled. They all clung
on and Buffy resisted the temptation to throw them off, something she was
capable of in her present state. On the sidelines, Harry and Moody watched,
Moody with interest, Harry with an unreadable expression but Buffy sensed some
sort of pleasure in the scene before him.
"Relax, Miss Summers," Snape
said, eyeing her with dislike.
"Don't speak to me," Buffy snapped.
"Don't come near me. I'll kill you if you ever speak to me like that again. I
promise you that." No one doubted her words.
Buffy threw up her arms, dislodging the
people from them, and stormed out of the room.
Buffy climbed the stairs, and stopped on the first floor landing. She
slumped down to the floor, leaning her back against the wall. Buffy closed her
eyes and took deep breaths, feeling her anger gradually dissipate .She couldn't
believe how angry she had been, how much she had actually wanted to kill. Buffy
had never wanted to kill before, never really felt the want, the need, the
craving for death. The closest she had come to that was Faith, and she hadn't
wanted to do that, it had been to save Angel. But this man, Snape, she felt
intense hatred for. She knew what he had done, the way he had hated Sirius and
the fact that he had had a part in causing Sirius to break out of Grimmauld
Place. But his words had pushed her over the edge. Sirius was dead, something
she was going have to come to terms with. But no one had the right to speak
about him like that.
Buffy pushed her hands through her hair irritably. She couldn't go downstairs,
she couldn't trust herself around Snape, couldn't control her anger anymore.
Ever since Sirius' death she'd been so angry, angry at herself, at Sirius, at
Dumbledore, at Snape. She hadn't really addressed that, she didn't know where
it came from and hadn't looked at it too closely in case it showed her
something she didn't want to see. In fact, the only person she wasn't angry at
was Harry, a person she could have found reasons to be angry at. She just
pitied him. Maybe she saw something of herself in him, something in her
feelings were similar to his.
Speak of the devil, she thought as Harry appeared on the landing. He flashed her half a smile and sat down next to her. He let the silence between them grow before speaking.
"Snape left," he said, with some satisfaction. "He said it was because
he didn't want to put everyone in danger but it was obvious he was just
scared." Buffy shrugged.
"I'm not really good at this," Harry
said awkwardly. "But do you wanna talk about it?" Buffy smiled and slung an arm
around his shoulders.
"Thanks but I'm okay," she said
gratefully. "I just lost it for a while. Scared myself more than anything. I've
never wanted to kill someone before."
"He deserved it," Harry said fervently.
"The things he's done, what he did to Sirius, the things he said. He deserves
to die."
"Does he?" Buffy asked absently.
"He didn't kill Sirius. If I were to kill him it would make me no better than
Bellatrix Lestrange. And I never want to be a murderer."
"I don't have any choice," Harry said
tightly.
"You do," Buffy contradicted him. "You
can be fulfilling your prophecy or you can be a merciless killer. It's not
about what you do; it's about the way you fell. I've killed vampires, demons.
The way I see it, this guy Voldemort is about on a level with them. So you'll
do it then put it aside."
"I don't want to be a killer either,"
Harry said dejectedly.
"So don't be," Buffy replied firmly.
"You can kill without being a killer. It's all about the 'tude." Harry laughed
and Buffy got up and pulled him up with her.
"I'm starving," she exclaimed.
"Murderous rage gives me a huge appetite. Come on."
