TRIGGER WARNING - There are big mentions of self harm, suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide. Also elements of abuse throughout the story. Please read with caution.
It was a Tuesday when Lucy's mother demanded to come and see her daughter.
It was 9:17 AM on a Friday morning, nearly three weeks since the incident with Father. Lucy's face was nearly fully healed - There was only a small mark on her lip and cheek from where she bled, but the bruising and the swelling had been gone for a while.
Lucy was finishing her breakfast. Well, finishing was a bit of an over statement since she had hardly eaten anything since the commotion with her father.
"Lucy," Levy began for the millionth time, concern pooling in her eyes as she eyed Lucy's plate. It was almost identical to what it was when she had brought it to the table. "You really should eat something. You'll get unwell."
"I'm already unwell," Lucy grumbled quietly. She rolled her eyes at herself, not wanting to make Levy worry any more than she already was. The blonde looked up to her and smiled apologetically.
"I'm sorry, Lev," The blonde began, her eyes casting down once more. "Guess I just don't really have much of an app-"
She was cut off by the sound of slamming doors and heavy footsteps. Lucy heard voices, some demanding and careful, and another high pitched and frantic. It took her a moment to realise that she recognised that voice. That voice unmistakably belonged to her mother.
"You can't stop me!" Layla shouted at someone. "I have a right to see my own daughter! Now, where is she?! Is she in here?"
The doors to the dining area flung open. When she came into view, Lucy took in her mother's appearance idly. But then her eyes narrowed somewhat in interest. - Maybe even shock.
Mother actually looked troubled. She was a fucking mess. Not smart and sophisticated like usual. Her blonde hair wasn't in its usual elegant bun but hanging past her shoulders. Her jacket wasn't done up neatly - It was left unbuttoned and billowed out behind her wherever she walked. As well as that, she hadn't any make up on. She looked utterly lost. Sad.
Her eyes met Lucy's and one emotion filled her eyes, one Lucy hadn't even known her Mother was capable of feeling.
Regret.
"Lucy," Layla choked out, stumbling towards her daughter before falling to her knees besides her seat. She grasped Lucy's fists in her hands as she stared at the blonde's face. Lucy's stomach tightened uncomfortably, and her friends quietened and leaned away to give them space. She swallowed thickly. Where the hell was Natsu when she needed him?
Lucy's eyes fell back to her mother, and they widened again. It would seem mother... cared. But since when? She hadn't seen such regret and sorrow in her eyes when she woke up at the hospital, nor when she dropped Lucy off at the institution. Not when her face was black and blue, or when her arm was broken, or… Why would she care now?
Lucy opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Mother's eyes tightened painfully.
"Lucy... Baby, I - "
"Mrs Heartfilia," Miss Erza's voice saved Lucy. She hadn't noticed that she was stood behind Lucy's mother. She had a cluster of security guards behind her, all breathing heavily and eyeing Mother with annoyance, but Miss Erza's eyes were angry. She looked so angry that Lucy's mouth fell open.
Lucy hadn't spoken to Erza since she had threatened her. Her personal sessions were with another woman that she didn't even care to remember the name of. Lucy was surprised at the relief that flooded through her when she saw Erza's stern and earnest face.
"Follow me. And I am not asking." She added coldly. Her eyes softened as they landed on Lucy. She stepped forwards, a smile lighting her face when the small blonde offered her a relieved smile.
"Lucy," she began softly. "I can escort your mother from this building now - " she ignored Mother's spluttering of outrage and kept her eyes on Lucy as she continued. " - Or, you can come with us and we will allow you and your mother to speak. Though, I cannot allow you to speak privately."
Lucy's eyes lowered to her shoes and Mother's voice came to an abrupt halt. Lucy knew why Erza didn't want them to be alone. The smaller blonde pulled her hands from Mother's grasp and stood abruptly, only just becoming aware of all the other patients' eyes on her. She walked up to Erza and offered a nod. Erza smiled and looked to Layla.
"Please, follow me Mrs Heartfilia. I expect you haven't brought your husband." Mother stood and looked from Lucy to Erza warily.
"Alright," she said quietly, her eyes lowering. "And – And I'm not married anymore."
Lucy blinked, not knowing how to respond to that.
"We can discuss this in a better place," Miss Erza said before she had a chance to speak and turned on her heels to lead them away.
"You divorced him." Lucy stated bluntly.
It wasn't a question. Miss Erza, Mother, and Lucy all stood on opposite sides of one of the English classrooms. Mother nodded slowly.
"There was no chance I could stand to be near him - never mind stay with him - after he lay his hands on you." She said firmly, her eyes expressing the agony of the thought. The fucking nerve.
"Why?" Lucy asked coldly and Mother recoiled. "What was that so awful for you? You never cared before."
Layla flinched. Lucy made her flinch.
"Lucy, I cannot tell you how sorry I am." She started in a choked voice. "I just... I don't know baby - I was blind. With rage towards your father, with my job, just everything - "
She ran a hand through her dishevelled hair. Her hands shook as she tried to think of the words to say.
"It just piled up. You always seemed independent - "
"Independent?" Lucy laughed in astonishment; her voice seemed so loud in the quiet room. Layla recoiled again.
"I didn't have a choice. I had to do everything on my own. Cook, clean, study - everything. What else could I do? I tried so hard, Mom! To get some attention, to get you to see," Mother started shaking her head, so Lucy raised her voice. "To try and tell you that Father beat me every night when he came home drunk, while you just fucked off and left me to deal with it on my own."
That was a leap. Mother's face morphed into an expression that Lucy could barely recognise. Erza turned her eyes down with a frown as she heard the one thing that Lucy had successfully hidden from her, from Mother. Even Natsu didn't know the severity of it.
"He what? That – That wasn't the first time?" Layla whispered, her voice cracking as tears fell from her eyes. Lucy felt a flare of anger at how dense she was, how fucking blind she must have been.
"It's not like he tried to hide it," Lucy snapped. "You just never wanted to see it. So, you didn't. You ate every lie he threw up."
"He – Your father - " Mother didn't even flinch at Lucy's voice, her eyes were blank and somewhere else. "He did it before? He hit you before?"
Lucy glared. She felt a flicker of panic as she tiptoed around some big details, but she tried not to show it on her face.
"Yes. All the time. You - you were never there. When I was younger, I used to shout for you when he… When he did it. But you never came. After a while I just - gave up. Stopped shouting and just... I don't know, took it."
Layla was bawling, her words not coming easy when she tried to speak.
"Younger?" she sobbed. "When - How long, Lucy?"
Lucy turned her head lightly in thought.
"I must have been, what? Four, five, when it first happened."
Mother's cries worsened; Lucy was angry about the hint of remorse she felt for her weeping mother.
"He was always so drunk. It was worse if you and he had argued that day, which was every day. He'd blame me. Say I was the reason you fought, and I ruined things between the two of you. But to be fair, he didn't like me since I was a girl anyway. " Lucy laughed dryly. Mother's eyes widened and snapped up to Lucy.
"The time when you were seven, on your birthday…" She trailed off. "When you broke your wrist – "
Lucy smiled awkwardly.
"Yeah. I didn't fall out of a tree."
Mother stopped crying. She just looked… broken. Exhausted. Her eyes were blank and hollow. Lucy felt another small pang of sorrow at seeing her mother like that.
"I let this happen," her mother whispered to herself. Lucy said nothing because it was true. "I - I let this... Oh, god."
She stood abruptly, her old spark returning so strongly it filled Lucy with relief. The younger blonde really thought she'd broke her for a minute. But Lucy couldn't fight the feeling of love she felt for her mother, and it was disturbing to see her so shattered. Layla strode right towards her, kneeling in front of her daughter and took her face in her hands.
"Lucy," Layla said and Lucy's eyes widened at her sudden intensity. "I am telling you now, you are going to get better. Miss Erza is looking out for you, and I can tell already you're making progress. I can actually see emotion in your eyes now."
Lucy's lips twitched as she fought a smile at that. Mother laughed breathlessly.
"And when you are, you're going to come home with me. I can earn our outcome since Jude was an absolute - Ugh." She shook her head. "We are never going back to the forsaken house or that disgusting, hideous man. We're going to get him put away, baby. For a long, long time."
Lucy's eyes widened. Tell on Father? Could she do that?
"And we're going to be happy," Layla cried softly, pushing a stray hair from Lucy's eyes with so much tenderness it made tears swell in the younger blonde's eyes. Layla looked at Lucy's face and smiled sadly.
"I'll look after you," she promised fiercely, and Lucy's heart clenched. "I'll never let anyone hurt you again. Not me, not anyone. I promise. We will be a real family this time. Just me and you."
Lucy was stunned. The blonde's tears finally spilled and rolled down her cheeks.
"You seem like… You actually care," She whispered with a small, stunned laugh. Layla mirrored her chuckle, but her eyes looked sad at the comment.
"Yes, baby," she said. "So much. And I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for how I mistreated you. But only if you let me."
She added that almost painfully, her hand tightening on her daughter's. It was then Lucy realised she was waiting for an answer. She made her life miserable and allowed her husband to unspeakable things, and she abused Lucy emotionally without ever having given a shit that she was doing it.
Lucy looked down in contemplation, before raising her head and uttering her answer. The only answer.
"No."
Layla's eyes widened. Her hand fell from Lucy's, and she leaned back.
"No?" She whispered. Lucy shook her head.
"I just - I have so many bad memories tied to you Mom," Lucy tried to explain, her eyes hardening. "Father did… horrible things, yeah, but I felt more wounded by you. You didn't help me. You didn't even care enough to notice. There were so many signs, so many threats in his words that I know you heard. Sometimes I thought you would say something – But you never did."
Layla cried again and reached for Lucy's hand.
"But Lucy - Baby, I'll do better. I will! Just please! Please give me a chance to be a better Mother," she begged, but Lucy continued to shake her head.
"I just need... I need time," The younger blonde said, and Layla's voice quietened once more. "I need to be able to trust you, to know you. I don't even know who you are, what you're like."
"So, you might consider it?" Layla asked feebly, suddenly seeming more understanding. Lucy met her gaze for a few moments and nodded.
"Yeah," Lucy said. And it felt right. "If we get to know each other more, I might feel... safe. Comfortable with you."
Layla smiled and nodded slowly before clearing her throat and standing. She faced Erza, who had been stood stoically in the corner up until now.
"Would it be okay to arrange weekly visits? Maybe even trips every once in a while, with my daughter?" She asked, sounding all business, which was the way Lucy had always known her. Erza nodded slowly, her eyes moving to her patient.
"So long as Lucy doesn't disagree," she started sternly before nodding. "Then yes, that wouldn't be a problem."
Layla nodded gratefully and her eyes fell back to Lucy. There was so much love and fondness in her gaze that Lucy had to look away.
"Then if that's okay with you, baby," Her mother said softly, and Lucy looked up at her. "I would like to visit more often. And maybe even we could go out some time, I could take you book shopping?" she added teasingly, and Lucy struggled to hide her surprise that her mother knew she loved books.
"... That would be nice," Lucy said slowly, and Layla's face lit up. "I'd - I'd like that, Mom."
Layla nodded sharply, smiling brightly through her tears. "Then that's that."
Lucy stood at the hospitals entrance and waved to her mother as she drove away. A tentative sense of optimism grew inside of her.
"I'm proud of you."
She whipped around to find Natsu leaning on the door frame, grinning as he squinted in the sun, while Miss Erza watched on with a smile. Lucy smiled back and walked towards him to step into his opening arms and receive a much-needed embrace. Lucy looked up to Miss Erza as she turned with Natsu to re-enter the building.
"Can my personal sessions be with you again, Miss Erza?" Lucy asked cautiously, watching the doctor's expression. "I - I want them to be with you."
Miss Erza smiled brightly. She gave Lucy a quick hug and nodded. Natsu chuckled and patted Lucy's back.
"We need to talk," he said it with a smile, but she could hear the strain in his voice. Lucy smiled at Erza before turning to follow Natsu. He promptly led them to their piano room.
The doors swung shut behind her and Natsu sauntered forward as Lucy halted in the middle of the room. She crossed her arms, trying to ignore the sense of dread gnawing in her stomach.
"So," She started, trying to break the silence. "What is it?"
She heard Natsu release a long, tense breath as he turned around - His beautiful, pure green eyes pained when they met hers.
He met her eyes for a few moments longer before saying the words that made Lucy's world crumble around her.
"I'm leaving, Lucy."
