Wow thanks for all the reviews, I couldn't believe it when I opened my mailbox and saw I had 32 reviews! Thanks so much, I'm glad you all like how I wrote it even though I kept you waiting for so long!
Sorry this took so long but it took me forever to try and get it right. I wrote about 4 versions and I didn't like 3 of them. This one's my favourite but I'm not sure. Let me know what you think!
Thanks to:
Mistress of Hogwarts
Dreamer Child – don't worry I'm not gonna mess with them too much more. I've already put them through a lot!
Harmoni
SeleneaD – lol yeah I kept you lot waiting ages! I'm such a meanie!
Darla56 – liking the way your fic is going, update again soon please!
Lost angel92
Jacey925
ScruffyWes
Lynn
Caribear
Wllw979 – Thanks for reviewing every chapter, that was really nice of you. I love the amber spyglass! I'm rereading the subtle knife for about the millionth time at the mo! I don't get the reference to it though, if you could explain….
SPASH Panther – I think because Sirius has a lot more boldness of character that Lupin that people are drawn to him. Personally, he's my favourite character and I was gutted when he died. Hopefully it won't be the end of him for JKR though *crosses fingers*
Lexinator – you'll have to see about Sirius in this chapter
Arianna Demarcus
Vampy the chosen one – lol don't worry I wouldn't do something as mean as have him forget her. That really would be horrible!
Erak
Miz
Lolly6
Hestia – thanks for the feedback, harry will get his telling off in this chapter so read on…
Always krissy – lol 20 chapters without Hogwarts yet! This is gonna be a huge fic!
C@rMeiNa
Becks89 – lol here's an update and now I need a TYE update please please!
Charmedfanatic3000
Anne-Marie
Dannii
Thorn of Blood
Jen
Kyra2
Hollow Nightmare – Scoobies will be flitting in and out now and then. As for Spike, we might see him one perhaps and I doubt we'll see Angel at all.
Aiyaxp
Little-lost-one
And finally, the chapter…….
Chapter 21 – Never Leave Me
More swirling colours and they were through, stumbling back into the stone amphitheatre. Harry was just behind, glasses askew from their journey. Giles had his back to them, performing the spell but as soon as he heard their footfalls, he turned.
"You did it," he said in an awed voice. Buffy
beamed.
"We did it!" she confirmed. She looked
down at Sirius' sleeping face tenderly. "We're back," she murmured quietly. She
stroked his cheek gently, marvelling at the feel of his heart beat and the
warmth that was returning to his body. He looked peaceful now, breathing deeply
as he slept.
"What were you thinking?" Giles said
angrily as he rounded on Harry who gulped.
"You could've been killed! After
everything Buffy told you!"
Harry shrugged, unable to keep the joy out of
his face as his eyes flicked over to the sleeping form of his Godfather.
"How could you be so selfish?" Giles
continued furiously. "Anything could've happened."
"Giles," Buffy said quietly. "It doesn't
matter now." A smile played around her lips as she kissed Sirius' forehead
gently. Giles raised his arms exasperatedly, then sighed and dropped them.
"He's back Giles," Buffy exulted. She
laid Sirius gently down on the bottom step of the amphitheatre and Giles joined
her standing over him. He put an arm around her shoulder and hugged her for a
moment.
"You're back," he said softly. "I was so
worried for you Buffy. I though I'd sent my Slayer into certain death."
"I'm fine," Buffy assured him. "I'm
better than fine. I'm fantastic!" She beamed again and Giles chuckled
indulgently. Harry joined them tentatively. Buffy and Giles exchanges looks and
Giles sighed reluctantly.
"I still think you were foolish," he
said to Harry. "But there was a time that I would've done the same thing. Brave
but still foolish." Harry smiled at him gratefully.
"You're hurt!" Giles said in realisation as he took in Buffy's buried face.
"Nothing serious," she said, eyes locked on Sirius. "Minor cuts and bruises, a sprained wrist, cut on my arm and possibly a cracked rib or two. But that can wait; we've got to get out of here."
"We can't just walk through the Ministry with
Sirius in tow," Harry said worriedly. "He's still a wanted criminal."
"I can do a cloaking spell on him,"
Giles offered. "Then people won't see his body." Buffy nodded and Giles quickly
performed the spell while Buffy packed all her weapons away into the large bag.
She
gathered Sirius up again and casting a last glance at the veil, Buffy opened
the door for them to leave. The black room spun wildly around them.
"We want to leave the Department of
Mysteries," Harry said clearly and the room stopped, presenting them with a
door which they walked through.
"Did you enjoy yourselves?" the wizard
guarding the door asked, his face lighting up when he
saw them again.
"Yes it was very…..interesting," Buffy
said after a pause. She watched in fascination as the man's eyes slid past the
still form of Sirius, unconscious in her arms. "We'd better be on our way. Have
a nice day."
Same to you!" the watch-wizard called as
they walked quickly down the hall.
They passed a variety of workers, all of whose eyes slid past Sirius, simply
not noticing him.
Giles, Harry and Buffy got into a lift, which descended rapidly.
"Atrium," a cool clear announced and
they stepped out of the lift rapidly. Buffy walked ahead, eager to get back to
Grimmauld Place. As she joined the queue for a fireplace, she caught a familiar
eye, Percy Weasley who was apparently passing through. He inclined his head,
imperceptible to all but her and she flashed him a quick grin, while tapping
her foot patiently and feeling shooting pains in her head.
Finally the queue moved on and they were next. Buffy took and small handful of
Floo powder and stepped into the fire, saying the name of her destination and
whirling away, Sirius clasped firmly in her arms.
Buffy tumbled out of the fireplace at Grimmauld Place, almost loosing her grip
on Sirius but hanging on to him tightly and banging into a chair. The kitchen
was empty, a bizarre occurrence and she gently set Sirius down in one of the
chairs around the table. Harry and Giles tumbled through shortly, both dusting
off their sooty clothes.
"Home," Buffy said simply. She too
dusted off her jeans and t shirt as Giles quickly removed the cloaking spells
from the bag of weapons and Sirius.
All three looked up in alarm when they heard footfalls in the hallway outside
the kitchen. Before they could speak, the door opened and Molly bustled in.
"Oh you're back," she said cheerfully.
"How was –" Her voice died in her throat as her eyes settled on the unconscious
body of Sirius. A hand flew to her mouth to stifle the scream that escaped. Her
eyes widened and she staggered backwards, clutching the doorframe for support.
"You- you- but how – you –" she stammered incoherently.
"How did you do it?" she choked out. "How did you do it? Is he dead?" She stumbled backwards, still staring at Sirius' still body.
"Not dead," Buffy said, smiling uncertainly. "He's alive. Alive." Molly gasped.
"Did I hear someone scream?" Bill said mildly,
approaching the kitchen behind his mother. He too stopped when his eyes found
Sirius. "Oh," he said detachedly. His eyes flicked to Buffy.
"You did this?" he asked, his voice
empty. Buffy nodded, biting her lip.
"Oh," he
repeated, looking back at Sirius. Buffy's jaw tightened, she didn't like this
situation.
She gathered up Sirius in her arms, wincing as his body pushed against one of
her ribs. Molly and Bill moved out of the way wordlessly as she walked past,
out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Harry followed her as she ascended
through the house to her room.
Carefully, she laid Sirius on the bed, brushing a few stray tendrils of hair
away from his face tenderly.
"We'd better explain," she said to Harry
briefly, standing up fully. He nodded and they descended through the house.
When they reached the first floor, Hermione, Ron and Ginny emerged from one of
the rooms.
"You're back," Ron said happily. "Fancy
a game of gobstones?" Harry shook his head stiffly and Ron peered at him
closely.
"You alright mate?" he asked
concernedly. "You look pale." Buffy and Harry exchanged looks.
"He's back," Harry muttered hoarsely.
"We got him." Ron looked nonplussed, as did Ginny, but Hermione clapped a hand
over her mouth, eyes wide.
"You didn't," she gasped. "You went in
there-?" Harry nodded and Hermione went pale too.
"Where is he?" she murmured.
"Sleeping," Harry said, jerking his head
to indicate upstairs. Ron looked from Hermione to Harry and back again.
"You don't mean Sirius do you?" he said
loudly and Ginny looked at Ron sharply.
"Ron!" she hissed. Harry looked away.
"Sirius is back," Buffy said finally and
Ginny and Ron looked at her.
"Back?" Ginny
said uncertainly.
"As in here, upstairs, asleep," Buffy
clarified. "As in we went into hell to get him. Well not exactly hell, but
something like that. Anyway, it doesn't matter, he's here and he's alive." Ginny stared at her agog.
"You lied to us," Ron said after a pause. "You
could've told us." Harry didn't reply. He looked at his hands, tightly clenched
together.
"We would've come with you," Hermione
said in a hurt voice. "If you'd have asked us to, we would've come."
"That's why I didn't tell you," Harry
said with a frown. "I didn't want to put you into danger. I didn't want you two
to get hurt."
"But you did put us in danger," Hermione said
vehemently. "You went into hell and if you hadn't come out then the prophecy
would mean nothing."
"We would've all died," Ron said in a
detached voice. "My family could've died, everyone would've died Harry. What
were you thinking?"
"I wasn't thinking," Harry confessed. "I
just couldn't leave Sirius in Hell. I would've done the same for the two of
you."
"Maybe you should have left him,"
Hermione said and Harry's expression darkened. "There are more important
things. Sirius said that himself, when you join the Order you have to be
willing to die for the cause. To die for you Harry."
"Hermione," Ginny berated her gently.
Harry
opened his mouth to reply but Buffy put a hand on his shoulder.
"Cool it kid," she advised. "She's
right." Harry closed his mouth.
"Let's just forget it," Ginny said quickly. "What's done is done." Hermione sighed resignedly and looked at Harry who shot her a hopeful smile. She shrugged, exchanging looks with Ron.
"I'll come down and fill everyone in," Buffy said as she led them all downstairs. "But I want to be there when he wakes up."
Buffy sat on the edge of the bed, hand clasping Sirius'. She had been sitting for a long time, how long she didn't know, but it felt like forever just waiting for him to wake up.
She had
quickly told the others what had happened, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Molly, Bill
and Charlie. Lupin was out doing something for the Order and they didn't know
when he would be back. The twins and Arthur were at work but could be filled in
by the others when they returned and there was a chance other Order members
would pop in.
Buffy couldn't care less as she watched Sirius sleeping peacefully. He murmured
a few times in his sleep, words which Buffy strained to hear and fail. A smile
played around her lips as she stared down at his impassive face, so dear to her
and so close in her memory.
She couldn't quite believe he was back, even with her hand entwined in his and
looking at his face she couldn't believe it. But he was here, he was with her.
She stood up as he shifted in his sleep and walked over to the window, folding her arms. Staring out she saw the same cat from that morning sitting on the same roof watching the sun sink slowly behind the horizon. It was so strange that this had happened all in one day, that morning she had been contemplating death and now she had life, she had Sirius' life.
A moan from
behind her made her turn and she watched intensely as Sirius' eyes slowly
flickered open.
His eyes were hazy and unfocused and his pupils moved around wildly. He sat
bolt up right, gasping for air. Buffy froze, she couldn't move as Sirius looked
around him frenziedly. His eyes locked on Buffy's and the world seemed to stop
and stand still for that single moment where they shared each other's gazes.
Then it was moving again and Sirius shifted himself off of the bed and stood up
on shaky legs.
"Buffy?" he murmured, sounding
uncertain, and that was all Buffy needed. She was at his side and her arms were
wrapped around him within seconds. They fell backwards onto the bed as Sirius
weak legs gave way and his arms were wrapped around her as she covered every
inch of him with kisses, dampened with the tears that flowed from her eyes and
his.
She put an unsteady hand to his cheek and he covered it with his own.
"It's you," he breathed wonderingly. "My
Buffy. It's you. It's really you."
"It's me," Buffy confirmed, tears slipping
down her cheeks. "You're with me."
"I dreamt so many times," he whispered,
tracing her tears with his index finger. "I dreamt of you every time I closed
my eyes, but you were never there."
"I wanted to be there," Buffy whispered. "I wanted to be there so badly."
"Where am I?" Sirius said suddenly, casting around
him wildly.
"Relax," Buffy said, startled by his
jumpiness. "Grimmauld Place, your bedroom. I've been sleeping in here while you
were gone."
"Hope you kept my bed warm," Sirius said with a faint trace of a smile. Then he looked afraid again. "Why are you here?"
"Because of you silly," Buffy said, kissing
the tip of his nose good naturedly, even though she was concerned about the way
he was acting. "I came here for you."
"For me," Sirius said dazedly. "I
was…..away…..in the place……..it was dark there."
"Where were you?" Buffy asked intensely.
"Away," Sirius repeated, eyes clouding
over. "Dark and it hurt and……. And there was a……and it…….don't make me go back
there!" Buffy was afraid, Sirius looked frightened, almost like a child.
"Sirius, relax," she murmured slowly,
rubbing his back soothingly. "You're out of there. You're at Grimmauld Place
with me and Harry is here too and a lot of other people. You're safe now, no
ones going to make you go anywhere. You can just stay with me."
"I'm sorry," Sirius said helplessly. "In
my head, it's all mixed up, I'm afraid Buffy."
"There's nothing to be afraid of," Buffy
said calmingly. "You've just come out of Hell; you've got to let your brain
figure that out. It's okay now, everything will be okay."
"You're hurt," he muttered, gently touching
the side of her face. Buffy too touched it absentmindedly and then winced when
it stung.
"Yeah," Buffy said vaguely. "I got into
a fight with some guy in a white suit."
Sirius'
eyes were opaque.
"He made me go in there," he said,
staring intensely but not seeing. "I fell in and then he made me go through the
door." His arm twitched and Buffy noticed a large cut on it that was covered
with coagulated blood.
"He's dead now," Buffy said soothingly. "I killed him." Sirius sighed and Buffy put her arms around him gently, letting him rest his head on her shoulder.
She was afraid now, scared of what had happened to Sirius while he had been gone. He was still in there but there was something more, something inside him that had been deeply affected. Buffy doubted those scars would ever heal.
"What happened while I was gone?" he asked
hollowly a moment later.
"I got a letter from Remus," Buffy told
him slowly. "And I came here to see Harry and to say my goodbyes. But it was
too hard to say goodbye, too difficult to let go. So I hung on to you." Sirius
looked her fully in the eyes.
"I didn't want to leave," he said
quietly. "I didn't want to leave." Buffy held him.
"I didn't
want you to either. I missed you," Buffy said softly. "I missed you so much
that I almost died with the pain." Sirius stroked her hair.
"I did die with the pain," he said,
pressing a gently kiss to her forehead. "The time without you, it was so hard.
I wanted you with me."
"I should have come," Buffy admitted, holding his hand and tracing patterns on it with her finger. "I don't know why I stayed in Sunnydale; I think I was waiting for something. Waiting for a sign I was finished there, or something. I wanted to hold on."
"I hated this house," Sirius said, looking around him bitterly. "Everything my parents were obsessed with, everything they wanted for me. Living in a constant reminder that I was an unsatisfactory son. I couldn't wait to escape. Ironic what kind of escape it was. And now I'm stuck back here." He smiled wryly and Buffy returned it.
She began to relax, the more they talked and the more he lived, the more he returned to normal.
"Come to Sunnydale," she suggested. "We can
leave here if you don't want to stay."
"I can't," Sirius said and Buffy nodded.
"We both know that. I haven't even seen Harry yet but I know he needs me here.
I want to be out there doing something, fighting."
"You can't go out there Sirius," Buffy
said quietly. "You can't risk your life again, or risk getting put back in
Azkaban. If you hide, I will hide with you. But I won't stay here and watch you
die. I can't do that again."
"You mean you'll stay here?" Sirius said
eagerly. "You'll stay in Grimmauld Place with me? You'd do that?"
"Of course silly," Buffy said with a
smile. "I can't trust you alone; you might get yourself killed again." Sirius
kissed her gently.
"You up to going to see everyone?" Buffy asked
him, getting up.
"I fell better now," Sirius said, also
standing up, solidly this time. "I can feel it, every moment that passes it gets
better."
"Do you remember it?" Buffy asked timidly.
"I did," Sirius said, somewhat
bemusedly. "Well I thought I did." He frowned. "The more I try to remember it,
the further it goes. I don't know if I want that to happen." Buffy moved to
face him and put her arms around his neck.
"I can't believe you're here," she said
with a wistful smile. "This is so surreal. But I love you, I never stopped
loving you."
"I love you too," Sirius said gently,
kissing her softly. He began to kiss Buffy's neck and she sighed deeply. He
lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.
"The others want to see you," she reminded
him, wagging a finger.
"We can pretend I was still asleep,"
Sirius said playfully, silencing her protests with a kiss.
