For everyone that has asked, InuYasha is not being mean to Kagome. It will all unfold in this chapter as to why his attitude is the way it is right now.
I have decided to use more songs in this fic, mostly because they enhance the feel of the chapter. I hope no one objects.
To jgirl79 : I listened to that song and I really liked it. It's perfect, so here you go.
The Reason
Kagome loosened her grip on InuYasha's shoulders as he leaped back to the ground, slowing to a steady pace. She didn't sense any danger, obviously neither did the quiet hanyou. Leaning to gaze at him, she reached to stroke the side of his face, surprised when he turned away.
"What's wrong?"
He didn't answer, only keeping his head lowered as he walked.
"InuYasha, I was only joking earlier. If you didn't want me to come..."
"It's not that." His tone was sulking. Distressed. Kagome reached down to pry his hand from her knee, lowering herself from his back.
"InuYasha?" She stepped in front of him, willing him to look at her to no avail. "InuYasha, please. You've been acting so weird lately. Just..."
"You writin' a book?" He brushed past her, never raising his head. Kagome felt betrayed. She felt as if he was slipping away again, this time to somewhere she could not attempt to call him back from.
"InuYasha, just talk to me! What are you so mad about?!"
"I'm not mad! I'm not! Really!" His pace quickened, making it hard for Kagome to keep up. She was beyond worried now. His comments over the last few months had diminished to withering scoffs now and then, never anything significant until now. It was different to hear him talk to her this way. It was unnerving.
"InuYasha, I'm sorry..."
"What are you apologizing for?" He spun to glare at her, his eyes reading everything but anger. "It's me, not you."
"What do you mean?" She placed a gentle hand on his arm, seeing a slight panic mock his features. It was like she had never touched him before. Like she was trying to dig into his soul against his will. So, she drew back her hand. "InuYasha?" His expression softened in the blink of an eye, his arms curving around her in a crushing embrace.
"I...I never meant to take any of this out on you." His claws glided carelessly through her dark hair in a silent attempt to soothe her worries. Kagome felt her heart crack at the vulnerability coursing through his voice. He sounded...scared.
"Take what out on me?" She pulled away enough to stare into his overwrought eyes, tears threatening to spill out of her own. He had been so peaceful. So loving. He would hold her and kiss her. Things had been going so well, but now...
"Just....don't worry about it, okay?"
She gave up. He was intent on not talking to her, and she would let it rest....for now.
"Hey! I've got an idea!" She lunged forward and grabbed his hand, giggling at his flinch from her suddenness. She turned eagerly, pulling him behind her.
"Huh? Kagome, we're supposed to be on watch!"
She turned with a perturbed expression, tugging his hand to pull him closer. "Do you sense any danger?"
"Well....no."
"Let's go, then. It's not very often Shippo isn't tagging on my heels and I would like to spend some time alone with you."
"Ok-ay..."
The demon watched the young woman pull the reluctant hanyou along, a dark smile lifting his mouth. "She's nothing more than a human girl, but him. There's something about...him. I have seen him before, but...where?"
InuYasha stopped, halting the humming girl in front of him.
"InuYasha, what's wrong?"
The hanyou sniffed the air, his eyes darting around wildly. 'I don't understand. I sense something...someone, but the only scent is....mine.'
"InuYasha?"
"Oh...nothin'"
"Well, come on!"
"Alright! Gee wiz!" He pulled his hand from her grasp, moving to walk beside her. Kagome sighed and shook her head, lowering her gaze to the ground as she walked. "So..." She couldn't stifle a gasp as his arm snaked around her waist, "Where we goin'?"
"Uh...well...uh...I thought we could go to the springs. Maybe it'll ease some of this stress you've been under lately."
"I don't know about that, but okay. I'll keep guard while you go."
She felt a small tinge of relief as a smile graced his face. It seemed like ages since she had seen him really smile.
InuYasha positioned his eyes to stare at her beside him. At first, she looked distraught, but now he could see that spark back in her eyes. Why couldn't he tell her? She had always been so understanding. Why did he think she wouldn't understand this? This fear. This terrible apprehensiveness of his love for her. He was afraid. Afraid she would be torn from him if he truly committed to her. His front was failing. She was seeing right through it, no matter how gruff and rude he acted. She knew better. Maybe he should just forget his reverence and just be with her. But then, if anything happened to her....
"Bath! Bath! Bath!" She squealed, jumping up and down and clapping her hands. InuYasha rolled his eyes and snorted, folding his arms into his sleeves.
"What's with you and being clean all the time?"
"You must not forget, I have a boyfriend with the nose of a bloodhound. Enough said." She grabbed at the hem of her shirt, looking over her shoulder at the instinctively turning hanyou. She felt the blood rise into her cheeks, but... "You don't have to turn around." InuYasha's mouth dropped hypothetically to his ankles. He turned somewhat discretely, his brow knitted in confusion.
"Say what?"
"I said...(gulp)...you don't have to turn around." She stood silently, her hands still gripping the bottom of her old shirt, waiting for any kind of response. She got one alright. She jumped back as he began to howl in laughter, his face straightening with seconds.
"I'm half-demon, not half-idiot. I'm not gonna fall for that."
"For what?" She hissed, her face more red with anger now than embarrassment.
"You want me to look, and that'll give you a reason to..." He watched her hands lay softly against her hips, her eyes closing in restraint. "You were serious, weren't you?"
"Mmmm-hmmm."
"Kagome? Please, um...say something." He reeled back, his sleeve covering his face as he waited for the 'word'.
"Leave it to you to be so boneheaded! Do I have to spell it out for you?! Okay, so I want some affection! I don't think that's too much to ask! Maybe a kiss, a hug! Some kind of physical contact! Any kind of acknowledgement that I'm yours!" She had her hands out to her sides now, talking to the sky. InuYasha was cowered against a tree, shocked by her intimate outburst. She gave up and pulled off her shirt whether he wanted to look or not. She didn't care anymore. She was tired of dropping hints.
"I...uh...didn't mean to make you mad. Kagome?" He crept to the spring as she climbed in, folding her arms defiantly in front of her. "Kagome?"
"Don't talk to me!" She drew her knees up to her chest, resting her forehead against them as she began to cry. InuYasha heard her sobs and smelled the salt of her tears, feeling a pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach. How was he supposed to know she was serious. The only time he had seen her unclothed usually earned him a rock to the head. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings.
*I'm not a perfect person. There are so many things I wish I didn't do, but I continue learning*
"Kagome, I'm...."
"Just leave me alone!"
He withdrew the hand he was edging toward her, feeling as though she had just slapped him. It hurt him to see her this way. He knew all she wanted was his love. And she had it. He just didn't show it as much as he should.
*I never meant to do those things to you, and so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know*
Turning on a heel, he walked a few feet away and plopped down next to an old stump, leaning over onto his elbow depressively. "I'm such a ass."
Kagome sat in the steaming water, her tears falling silently into the spring. She had worked so hard to get where she was with him, convincing herself that where she was stuck was okay. Maybe she did want more. Maybe she wanted it all. How could she get him to understand that she belonged to him.
*I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be*
Tugging at her bra, she removed the last article of clothing sticking to her wet skin. As she began to recline, she noticed the water begin to ripple around her. Then, a hand was placed on her shoulder.
*A reason to start over new, and the reason is you*
"Inu...Yasha?" He didn't answer as he slid in behind her, pulling her back to rest against the bare skin of his chest. Kagome smiled, lying her head in the crook of his neck and just enjoying the moment. Sure, if a demon happed along, they were as good as dead, but it would be worth it.
*I'm sorry that I hurt you, it's something I must live with everyday*
And that was all there was to it. Although it took a while for the flush to leave both persons, they relaxed against each other's warmth. They knew this was how it was meant to be. InuYasha knew that even if something did happen, it would be okay, because he had her love. And she had his.
*And all the pain I put you through, I wish that I could take it all away*
He was the first to make a move, pressing his lips to the top of her shoulder. Kagome involuntarily shivered at the new sensation before leaning her head back to collide her lips against his. She knew that they both were not ready for anything beyond that, but just to be there. With him. It made everything go away. It always did. She didn't feel the hurt of losing her family. The pain Kikyo had inflicted was a distant memory. It was only them. Their love.
*And be the one who catches all your tears, that's why I need you to hear*
The feeling was phenomenal. Like the first kiss they had shared. An invisible power seemed to surge through their bodies, willing neither to let go. And that was fine with them. Both would be content to stay there forever, indulging in the energy of their contact. Kagome brought her hand from the water and placed it gently on his cheek, ignoring the drops sliding from it onto her eyelids.
*I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be*
They were finally forced to separate, staring breathlessly into one another's eyes. In his eyes, Kagome could see peace and happiness, a look that was not common to grace his features. He could see the same in hers, not caring that she could see into the very depths of his heart. That love was spilling from his amber orbs.
*A reason to start over new, and the reason is you*
And they stayed that way, just staring at each other, Kagome laying back against his shoulder. InuYasha had never been more content in his life. This was the woman he was meant to be with. She had cried for him when no one else cared. She had bled for him without a second thought. She had loved him even when it was one sided. He bent his head down, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, feeling her wet hand tracing down his chest.
*I'm not a perfect person, I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know*
Her modest shyness melting away, she turned herself around, taking his face in her hands. Her breath collided with his. The naked skin of her chest pressed against his. Pulling him forward, she dodged past his face and just wrapped her arms around his neck in a silent understanding. InuYasha returned the embrace, pulling her closer if that was even possible. "Kagome..."
*I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be
A reason to start over new, and the reason is you*
He pulled her back gently, smiling as softly as he could. Kagome breathed a sigh of contentment as she stepped out of the water and wrapped up in his kimono, sitting down to dip her feet back in. InuYasha followed suit, slipping his pants on and taking a seat next to her. His arm encircled her shoulders and they sat there, in their silence, knowing that everything would be alright. No matter what road they chose. They would be together.
*I've found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do, and the reason is you*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He enjoyed what he was seeing. This hanyou had a weakness. It was that girl. If he could get the girl, the hanyou would be easy prey. He continued to spy, his silver hair flowing with the wind, as he waited for his opportune moment.
