Escape – Marissa's Song

Escape.
Freedom, like air –
so hard to touch and see;
yet wanted,
craved,
needed.
And him, the boy with the sad eyes,
with the broken smile,
with the sideways glance
that cuts through your barriers like a knife
and leaves your soul naked.
Him, who asks nothing for himself.
Him, who tries to pay you back for love.
Him, whose instincts are true,
whose smiles are rationed,
the one who tries to save everyone . . .
. . . except himself.
He even tried to save me,
the tainted,
the unsaveable.
I wanted the numbness.
I wanted the deep, dreamless, painless sleep
of a girl at rest.
I thought that while I slept
the web would untangle.
I thought the clock could turn backwards.
I thought things could be normal.

I didn't try to kill myself.
I just wanted to escape.