Spoilers: The Ties that Bind, if I recall correctly
Author's Note:
I got such nice reviews I figured I'd give the last two
memories I have written. Sometime I might write up others, too. Tahl's
fun to write. I know I'd like to see more of her.
Hm… Maybe I could do that scene at twelve, and then when
Qui-Gon walked in on the Council… Anyway, that'll be more up to my readers…
Enjoy! :)
They fought constantly. If it wasn't
because of his overprotectiveness for her blindness, it was over her treatment
of Bant, her Padawan. Why did he always feel that he had to interfere with
her life? It wasn't the Jedi way.
Balog, the head of security of New Apsolon's recently
late governor, had arranged a meeting among the planet's three groups. Two
of the sides had insisted upon a Jedi mediator. She had infiltrated the
third group. Although her cover had been blown, her knowledge was invaluable
compared to Qui-Gon's. She must be the one to go. She said so firmly.
This disquieted Qui-Gon. She sensed a colossal struggle
within him. Was he all right? She frowned, about to speak—
Suddenly, she picked up a feeling of intense amusement
on his part. She sensed him scold himself when he let the feeling show through
an eye flicker. He shook his head, as if clearing it. Something greatly
agitated him, she could tell, yet… it gave him a determination as well.
He turned to Balog. "Will you excuse us? I need to speak
with Tahl alone." He led her to a small, private room, she realized from
the echoes. His request to his Padawan that he remain outside worried her.
Don't turn this into another argument, old friend, she thought at him. Please.
She heard the door close. "Dear friend," she said. "There
have been too many arguments between us. Do not let another one arise."
"I did not ask for privacy to argue with you."
What do you want me for, then? She had the uncanny
notion that she knew what it was… or should know…
"I wish to tell you something. Well, two things." He
had then said that he agreed to her attending the meeting. And that he would
not leave the planet without her. "I have a deep conviction that if I do,
I will not see you again."
She started to treat his comment lightly, then stopped
herself. Qui-Gon was a quiet man, and never used words without a purpose. Deep conviction? Oh, old friend… "You feel this strongly?"
"I do." He proceeded to explain that this foreboding
had led him to interrupt the Council meeting for this mission. It also drove
him here, because he felt everything would be all right as long as they were
together.
Slowly, she nodded, believing she understood. "But Qui-Gon,
I am not your Padawan. We cannot be together always."
"Ah. This brings me to the second thing I must say." Seconds ticked by. It was not a time to prod him. Feelings she couldn't
begin to describe swelled within him, and she felt her expression soften. Still, she remained silent, although confused.
Finally, he spoke. "I have come to know something. I
cannot let you go, I cannot let another moment pass without telling you this. I did not come to New Apsolon only because you are my friend. I did not
remain because you are a fellow Jedi. I have come to see that you are not
just a friend and fellow Jedi, Tahl. You are necessary to me. You are my
heart."
Her cheeks colored, and she breathed deeply. She would
not gasp. Is this what has been between us all along? she wondered. "You are not speaking of friendship," she said as evenly as she could. His statement flustered her.
"I am speaking of something deeper. I am speaking of
everything a being can give another. This is what I offer you. I offer
myself."
She stood perfectly still for several heartbeats, realizing
this was what the Force had prepared her for, all these years. Nearly
half a century. Qui-Gon, what you speak of, is harder than our lives
as Jedi. We would scarce be together; often separated, at times for years. Would we be able to manage? She knew they would. Would you not
rather wait for someone else who can be there? But there was no one
else. Only her.
When she did not reply, he grew uncertain. Never
had he bore to hurt her, even with the slightest sting of the training saber. "If you do not feel the same, I will step back and be your friend again." Oh, Qui-Gon! her heart mourned. You would, too! She felt
her heart swell, matching his. There is no one else for me, either,she realized. Only you.
"No," she said suddenly, her own feelings putting an unusual
fervor behind her words. Now she understood him—and herself. "Do not step
back. Let us step forward together. I feel as you do, Qui-Gon."
They stepped forward in the same moment. She clasped
his hand.
"I did not know it until this moment. Or maybe I did. Maybe I've known it for some time."
"I pledge myself to you, Tahl."
He was strong, having dared to risk their close friendship
to tell her what he had. "I pledge myself to you, Qui-Gon." They stood
still for a moment, aware of what awaited them. "I must go to the meeting."
"Yes," he admitted.
"We are Jedi. Our life together will be full of separations."
"Yet we will have one life, together."
"Yes," she assented.
They spoke of the mission, and then…
"And whatever decision we make, it will be together,"
she declared, feeling nearly complete. Nearly.
"Yes," her dear Qui-Gon agreed. "At last this is clear."
Those were the last words they spoke together before her
final kidnapping. Although he rescued her, she did not survive…
