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Bummmmmmmm.....
Bummmmmmmm.....
BUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM.....
Du du du du du du duuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!
Animals...
Animals....
Animal Crossing
Animal Crossing...
ANIMAL CROSSING: STRANGE BUT TRUE!
Tom Nook: That's right, it's Animal Crossing strange but true, and today we're having our super episode! It will not only have interesting facts, but we'll have drawings, prizes, callers, and much more! So stay tuned, right after our sponsor gives a word.
SPONSOR TAPE ROLLING
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Is your car insurance way too high a price?
Is your house infested with mice?
Do your pencils break when they've just been recently sharpened?
Well, we feel sorry for you! Too bad!
This message brought to you by Cleeners tissues
SPONSOR TAPE END
Tom Nook: And now we are back! Today as you know will be our super episode, but throughout this show we've been forgetting two very important special folks – Babe and Flabe! No wait... Mable and Sable! Sorry... I got a bit mixed up there... anyway, these two mice... er... porcupines? I think they're porcupines. These two porcupines are great help when you need to design your own clothes or wallpaper or carpet. Why don't we introduce you to them? Babe? Flabe? I mean... Mable? Sable? C'mon out!
Mable and Sable come out.
Mable: Hello, everyone!
Sable: Hello!
Tom Nook: Would you mind it if we showed your life story, Mable and Sable?
Mable: Not at all.
Sable: We would be delighted!
Tom Nook: Roll tape!
TAPE ROLLING
Mable and Sable are two sisters who love to make fabric. They don't need much money to stay alive, and they always were a peaceful folk... sort of. At day they are kind little porcupines, but at night it's a different story. They turn into werewolves and prowl among the shadows, looking for people to hunt. Their claws are so sharp they could pop a balloon, and their stench is enough to make any superhero cringe. Speaking of superheroes... we have another story for you later. But back on topic, Mable and Sable are probably the meanest two creatures at night when the moon comes out.
TAPE END
Tom Nook: Well, that's always good to know.
Mable: Yes, well, of course none of that is true. The moon should come out any minute.
Sable: Yep. Nothing will happen, we assure you. You must have your facts wrong.
Tom Nook: Well, thank you for your most kind interview.
Mable: What interview?
Tom Nook: Umm... heheh... thank you once again. You may leave.
Sable: But...
Tom Nook: I have other things to attend to. Exit backstage.
Mable: Whatever.
Mable and Sable walk off screen.
Tom Nook: Now, about that superhero business we were talking about...
SCREEM
Tom Nook: Oh dear, what was that dreadful noise?
The producer runs onto the set, his eyes ablaze with fear.
Producer: Those claws! Those TERRIBLE CLAWS! AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!
The producer keeps running around in circles until he hits a lighting pole. The pole falls over and he catches on fire.
Producer: No! Hot! Ouch! Ouch!
Tom Nook: Well, maybe this is just the thing to boost our ratings.
Producer: Extinguish me, you fool!
Mable: Is anything wrong?
Producer: What? You're not... evil!
Mable: Aren't you supposed to be on fire?
Producer: Oh yeah. Ow! Ow! But aren't you supposed to be evil?
Mable: Oh yeah! Grr...
Mable once again transforms into a werewolf.
Tom Nook: No! Wait! No chaos! No chaos!
Mable: So... you want to play?
Tom Nook: No! Stay away from me!
Producer: It burns it burns!
Sable: I want to play with Mr. Nook too! Grr...
Tom Nook: No! Don't touch me with those fangs and claws! STOOOOPPPP!!!
Producer: Ouch!
Tom Nook: Hey!
Mable: Get'im!!!
Tom Nook: Run!
Superhero: I am here!
Silence
Silence
Silence
Superhero: I said, I am here!
Superhero picks up a bucket of flour and pours it over the Producer. The fire goes out. The superhero then charges the two werewolves and tosses them to the side. They are knocked unconscious. The superhero flies away.
Tom Nook: Hey! You can't leave us like this! The set is a disaster!
Superhero: That's your problem!
Tom Nook: No, actually, it's the Producer's. But since he's a little busy at the moment...
Tom Nook glances at the Producer who is spitting out flour and rubbing his eyes. He is completely white.
Tom Nook: I think it's time for a commercial break.
COMMERCIAL TAPE ROLLING
Can you hear me now? Good!
Get unlimited calls for five weeks if you call in the next second! Oh, too bad! I guess it's just not your lucky day.
But if you buy our phone and purchase our payment plan, maybe we'll give you a free pencil.
COMMERCIAL END
Tom Nook: And now we're back. We've got the crew cleaning up the set as you can see, so now we're going to have our call-in session to see what people think of our show. We can't get everyone's comments, but we'll randomly choose five of them. Here's our first caller.
Tom Nook picks up the phone.
Tom Nook: Hello? You're on the air!
Caller: Oh my gosh! I love your show! It's so funny! I actually fell out of my chair laughing! I added you to my favorite TV shows list! More episodes soon, please!
Tom Nook: May I ask who's calling?
Caller: Yeah, my name is Pomquter.
Tom Nook: Well thanks for calling, Pomquter!
Caller: You're welcome!
Tom Nook hangs up.
Tom Nook: Next caller! Hello, you're on the air!
Caller: Oh my gosh...this is so funny! Federal Bunny Industry! LOL! Continue!
Tom Nook: Well thank you! Who's calling?
Caller: Rootie Tootie!
Tom Nook: Well, Rootie Tootie, thanks for calling!
Tom Nook hangs up.
Crew Worker: Hey, Tom Nook, was there really a guy named Rootie Tootie on the phone?
Tom Nook: Yeah? Isn't that weird?
Crew Worker: Well, it's just that when I hear that certain word... toot... I always get the sudden urge to...
Crew Worker 2: No! Bob! Don't do it!
Crew Worker: PPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT!!!!! KA-BLAM!!!!
Crew Worker 2: AUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Tom Nook: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
The whole set flies up in smithereens from the crew worker's toot. The camera goes flying into space. Suddenly, a tie fighter flies by. The camera falls down. It hits the ground with a thud.
THUD
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Several years later...
DA-DING
Tom Nook: Um... hello... most of civilization has been wiped out here in Animal Crossing world... that one blast was like an atomic bomb. It's been several years now, and we finally got the camera to work. So, well, I'm afraid this show is going to have to end... but thanks for watching, and I don't think we'll see you next time.
THE END... or is it? Possible updates if there is popular demand... if not... I'm done and I'm tired!
