The first time had been maliciously slow and awkward. Arnold had been horrendously embarrassed and dead certain that due to his ineptitude and complete lack of experience that it would never, ever happen again. Like what happened with McGruder without the head injuries. But Dave, ever the knight in smelly armor, assured him it was not so, and that so it would never be.

The second time had been quick and fumbling. Almost desperate. The third shortly after the second in the shower.

And the many times between the third time and the whateverth time they were at now had been unique, occasionally involved different kinds of sauce and record diligently in Arnold's diary.

Quite well recorded really, if he changed the names he could probably sell the book and have it published as smut. Incidentally, an alternate he did do that and became inanely rich off of it. But that's another story.

It has occasionally been stated by people I cannot be arsed to look up that 'make-up sex' is the best kind. Dave and Arnold couldn't, nor would they, find any argument against that.

They explored one another, as it the few (two, three?) days apart had turned them into completely new people.

Everything seemed over whelmingly fast, drawn out and tortuously slow. It was all over before is satisfactorily began and lasted forever.

It was, all in all, very contradictory.

And, the most read scene in the book it made elsewhere.

Dave snuggled against Arn, falling into a disturbingly deep sleep that wound up lasting days and put him in the medical wing for fatigue. Arnold absently traced meaningless patterns on one of Dave's shoulders. He thought of his future 'self'.

Maybe he was telling the truth.

Maybe.

Three million and a few years later, he still falls through tables. He's still dead.

Maybe, he muses, some things aren't meant to have a happy ending. He looks over at Dave, the Last Human.

The Last Human smiles, something small and flowerlike that Arnold decides is hope blooms somewhere inside of him.

"No, I'm happy enough."

a/n: WB theme music That's all folks.