Last Year at Hogwarts

DISCLAIMERS: I don not own Black, Lupin, Potter, Pettigrew, Evans, Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore or any other characters I mention in this fic. Nor do I own any Harry Potter Material.... I also do not own Halo – All or Nothing.... If I did, Sirius and Remus would be lovers and HP would be XD Mwhahaa cough -. I am not making any money out of this story either... though it is costing to print it out for people mumbles....

PARING: Sirius Black and Remus Lupin

SUMMERY: Kind of like the second chapter to Thoughts and Wishes, so you want to read that first.... Sirius loves Remus, Remus loves Sirius, Snape gets in the way, what happens when Sirius tells Remus' secrete to Snape for revenge. What happens to their relationship?

RATING: R

WARNING: Contains mild Slash... Mwhahaa ... well I say mild -

A/N: Paragraphs go from, Sirius to Lupin to Sirius to Lupin, swapping P.o.v for each paragraph

Chapter 2

(Starts with Sirius' P.o.v)

The night of the full moon, "All you have to do is touch the knot and go through the tunnel"…. Words I would soon regret.

"You Told Him" James screamed at me, and ran through the portrait.

"What ever possessed you Sirius, What made you risk another student's life? Did you even think about what would have happened if Remus had gotten him? What would have happened to Remus Himself?" Dumbledore was angry he wasn't shouting but his voice was steely and calm, the twinkle in his warm eyes had gone and he was looking thoroughly disappointed. "I….I don't know… I just wanted to stop him…" "Stop him" Dumbledore sighed "Sirius you cant stop certain things, they just are" he looked at me and sighed again. After a minute's silence he started talking again "Severus will not tell anyone what he witnessed tonight… I hope you have not taken this lightly Sirius…you may leave" I walked out of his office with my head down, whishing for once that I had left Snape well alone "I'm sorry Rem" I whispered as I headed towards the hospital wing.


"How could you do that to me" I cried as Sirius let tears fall down his face showing his regret and sorrow. "I'm so sorry Rem" "Don't call me that" my voice sounded cold and harsh even to my ears, Sirius stopped tears running down his face, he looked at me stood up and walked out of the wing.

I went back to classes three days later, my first lesson was Defence Against The Dark Arts, it was my favourite subject and I excelled in it more than any other of my subjects. I sat down at the back of the classroom; I had arrived early for the lesson so it was about 10 minutes before any others started to turn up. James and Peter walked in followed by a very subdued Sirius…. He looked a wreck, he had dark circles under his eyes, his normally smooth and silky groomed hair was messed and he looked thinner than usual….or was this just me, could he have lost weight in three days… my eyes widened slightly at the sight of him, but then I remembered….. He betrayed me… ME…

James saw me first; he looked unsure what to do.

Sirius was at the end of the table, and I was on the other end, he watched me for the whole of the lesson, I could feel his cool grey eyes watching me, those eyes I loved so much… But I did not turn to look into them, I carried on with my work the pain in my chest growing but I would not turn to face him…not now.


Nearly two months now and he still wouldn't look at me, wouldn't talk to me… I didn't know what to do and I didn't care about anything else… I didn't sleep and if I did I fell into nightmares and I would fall into the nightmares after hours of exhausting crying… James had said I had lost weight and was beginning to make sure I was eating at meals now… a few other people seemed to have noticed my sudden appearance and loss of emotion. "Sirius you need to talk to him" Dumbledore had called me into his office to say this, I laughed "Oh yes I forgot to try that method" my sarcastic voice rang cold… so unlike me that Dumbledore seemed to be stunned for a moment, "Mr Black you need to keep trying for both your sakes"….

I was walking through the castle, I did this most nights when everyone had gone up to bed I would leave through the portrait and walk the dark corridors. It calmed me; the quietness soothed me. So I would walk…. When I climbed back through the portrait and into the common room I saw him sat there, in one of the large armchairs in front of the fireplace… his cool gaze landed on me, staring at me, or through me… my heart is beating so fast, his eyes leave me and go back to watching the fire…

"Remus" I walked towards the fireplace and sat down on the armchair opposite him, he still wouldn't look at me though. "Please Remus" my voice cracked full of fear, tenderness and regret. He looked up slowly from the fire, his eyes emotionless, so cold compared to what used to be in there… the loyalty I made him loose the trust, I feared more than anything that I would never be able to gain his trust again.


I took my eyes from the fire and looked at him; I took in his features for the first time since the Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson. He looked bad, he had definitely lost weight his robes hung loosely around his once toned frame, his eyes seemed to have sunk into his face and seemed lifeless grey rather than the vibrant grey eyes I knew so well and his once silky hair was dulled and untamed. A tear ran down my cheek… I had caused this, I had made him loose something inside him, I cursed myself in my head. "Sirius, why did you do it" he looked at me in surprise "I thought you knew why" my brow crinkled in puzzlement "I did it because I wanted to make sure he would leave you alone, I did it so he would never try to touch you again… to show him how strong you actually are, because of what you have to live with what you have to go through, like I knew he could never go through because unlike you he is spineless and weak" Sirius' voice was full of sincerity and truth. His eyes held a fire in them as if it was fuelled by what he was saying or as if he was trying to burn the truth into myself. He looked down and played with the hem of his robe, "I.." but before I could finish what I was going to say he let out a whispered sigh and as if talking to himself "I did it for you… as I do everything for you". Tears were running down both of our cheeks now, "I'm so sorry Rem… so very sorry" at this he got up and ran back out of the common room before I could stop him.


I was running, I couldn't take what he was going to say, I wouldn't be able to hear him say, No or I don't ever want to see you again… so I ran. I came to a stop at the Whomping Willow; its seemingly innocent and lifeless branches were swaying in the night's cool breeze. I sat and watched it just staring at its deadly innocence, I sat and I planned for hours until I finally stood up and walked back to the common room.


Even though I tried I could not get Sirius to himself, I wanted to tell him I forgave him, that I love him that I wanted him back and I trusted him. That it was I who was wrong, not knowing or wanting to know why he did it. But I couldn't, he slipped past me every time I nearly had him to myself. The strain of not being able to talk to him and the N.E.W.Ts we were now taking was getting to me, I had been revising constantly and trying and failing to talk to Sirius…. "Remus, want a game of chess" Peter's annoyingly squeaky voice entered my ears and I snapped… "NO I DON'T WANT TO PLAY CHESS… I WANT TO REVISE AND I WANT TO TALK TO SIRIUS BUT I CAN'T DO EITHER WITH YOU SQUEAKING IN MY EAR" my eyes flashed dangerously and Peter virtually ran away from me, I heard him mutter an apology as he quickly left.

Peter had told James about my little…well large outburst and he had tried to talk to me but I just snapped at him to leave me alone and to stay out of it. He backed of reluctantly with a frustrated sigh, "Fine Moony, but if you want to talk I'm here ok" his serene voice calmed me slightly and I just nodded as he walked off again.


The N.E.W.Ts were finally over and I found it harder and harder to avoid Remus, he seemed dedicated to getting me on my own, but I had managed to keep avoiding him. I didn't want him to give me his final words yet, not until I had at least tried… and so far my planning was going well, it was all set up and planned… all for the last years Final Ball… only after that will I let him speak to me, so I kept dodging and hiding from him.


I don't know why I'm going, but James had kept bugging me, so I gave in. I looked in the mirror at my reflection. Ice Blue Silk Dress Robes, with a lavender hem. As we walked towards the great hall Lily had said it brought out the colourings in my hair and eyes, I blushed slightly and thanked her. As we walked into the Great Hall I wondered where Sirius was as I looked around for his familiar tall form in the crowd or his warm smile I even listened for his barking laughter but I couldn't find him at all.


I looked in the mirror, I had been making an effort since I had come up with my plan, I had been eating more and going back to my Quidditch practice which now showed again on my toned chest, I grinned slightly as I pulled my dress robe over my head…. So vain as always I thought to myself. I had two fine plats at the front of my hair, which had now gone back to is former silky glory, they hung in front of my ears while the rest of my hair was tuck behind my ears. I grinned as I looked at myself now fully in my Dress Robes. I saw myself grinning in the mirror, Black Velvet Dress Robes with a Silver stitched pattern running throughout it; I looked at the pattern which flowed throughout the entire surface of the Dress Robes, giving the impression of silver water as it reflected the light that shone onto the pattern. My face grew serious as I nodded and walked towards the Ball… "Ready or not Remus" I said as walked out of the portrait hole.


A/N: Well hope your liking it so far... Ohh what will happen next .. Review please - x