JY: Thanks for the reviews! We're glad you like the story so far!
DISCLAIMER: Random person say: DO YOU GUYS OWN YUGIOH? JY say: NO!
Chapter Three
Enter the Yamis!
After the episode with the bookcase, everyone now stood in a circle of sorts, trying to figure out what to do next. Joey lay sulking in a corner, glaring at Kaiba and imagining the brown and white cat on a dinner plate. "All right, Marik! It's confession time!" Tristan announced.
Marik merely stared at him. "A hamster...you know how UNmenacing that is?" he told the rodent.
"A turtle...you know how RETARDED that is?" Tristan retorted angrily.
Yugi sweat-dropped during this conversation. "Okay, guys, fighting isn't going to get us out of this mess!" he exclaimed.
Marik glared at Yugi and then sniffed contemptuously. "Hmph! As much as I hate to say it, you're right!"
Mai sat up on her haunches and stared at the evil turtle. "Okay, Marik...how do we change ourselves back?"
Marik thought for a moment, then shrugged. "There's a counter spell on the back of the paper," he said lamely.
Mai face-faulted. "And where's the paper?" she asked with impatience.
"Up there," answered Marik, pointing a stubby leg at the table. Everyone stared at the now-giant table far above them.
"Okay...sooo...how do we get it?" asked Joey as he ambled from his corner.
Seto swished his tail placidly and gave Joey the superior cat look. "Mokuba can get it for us, since he's as tall as the table, mutt." The Lab growled but did not reply. He knew better than to say anything at the moment...especially since Kaiba happened to be right, and he knew it.
"Really, big brother? I can help out?! All right!" boomed Mokuba, rearing back on his hind legs happily.
All the little animals below winced and covered their ears as best as they could. "Uh, Mokuba?" Yugi said timidly.
"Yeah?" asked the Shetland pony in a voice like thunder.
"Could you please whisper?" the bunny asked.
"I AM whispering!" replied Mokuba rather loudly.
"Well, whisper softer, dammit! You're hurting my ears!" Joey growled.
"DON'T YOU TALK LIKE THAT TO MOKUBA, MUTT!" Kaiba hissed. "I'll have him hold you down while I scratch you into ribbons!"
Joey yawned widely, blowing his stinky dog breath in Kaiba's face. "Oh, I bet you will," he said sarcastically as the kitty gagged from the smell.
"Uh...guys? Can I get the paper now?" asked Mokuba from above in a slightly softer voice.
"Squawk! Yeah, Mokuba! Get it! We need it NOW! Squawk!" Tea said encouragingly.
"All right, here I go!" sang out Mokuba joyfully while the others cringed.
"NOT SO LOUD!" they screeched as the younger Kaiba reached his muzzle over the table for the paper.
Suddenly, a gust of wind from out of nowhere swept the paper out of a window that wasn't previously there a second ago. Mokuba could only gawk as their final chance for freedom fluttered away.
"Did you get it?" asked Mai earnestly from below.
"Uh...no...it blew away out a window!" Mokuba replied sadly, lowering his head in defeat.
"I say! I don't remember seeing a window in this room!" Ryou commented. "And where did that breeze come from anyway?"
Joey was now growling and glaring suspiciously around the room. "I'll bet it was those damn authors!" he snarled.
Yugi gasped in fear and put his paws over his mouth. "Joey, don't say that! What if they hear you?"
"I don't giva—" Joey began.
BANG!
"—ouch..." the dog whimpered as a twenty-pound anvil landed on his head.
Yugi shook his head sadly. "I DID warn you..."
"I say! Where did that anvil come from?" Ryou asked, glancing up at the ceiling, which contained no secret compartment from which to drop a twenty-pound anvil.
"I don't care where it came from!" Joey snarled. "The fact is that it CAME, and whoever did it is gonna get it from ME!"
Just as this situation was about to turn ugly, the Millennium Items began to glow and out came:
"Yami?" Yugi said as the Pharaoh materialized in front of him.
"Bakura?" Ryou exclaimed as the tomb robber popped out of the Ring.
"Malik?" Marik said as his immature yami appeared in a puff of smoke.
"Huh? Ryou, was that you?" asked Bakura, looking around for his hikari and not finding him.
"There are spirits in this room! Evil spirits! I must exorcise them at once!" Yami exclaimed, taking up a mysterious stance.
Malik face-faulted. "Uh, you're a pharaoh, not a medium, Baka."
"Hey you floaty ghost things! Down here!" Joey barked up at the three yamis.
"There's spirits here, I tell you!" Yami insisted fanatically.
Malik raised an eyebrow. "And a dog, too," he commented, noticing Joey.
"Yeah! And a rat, and a hamster, and a bunny, and a turtle, and a—"
"I get the picture, Bakura," Yami said sniffily.
Malik squealed with joy as he noticed the animals and promptly sat down among them. "Wow, where'd all the aminals come from?" he asked as he attempted to pick Kaiba up.
"Away from me, slime!" the cat hissed as he sank his claws into Malik's arm.
"Ahhh, evil kitty! TO THE SHADOW REALM WITH YOU!" Malik exclaimed, preparing to blast Kaiba away.
"Wait, don't do it!" the little white bunny said just as he nearly completed the act.
Yami gave the bunny a curious glance, then knelt down and stared. "Yugi, is that you?" he asked, poking the bunny's chest with a finger.
"Yes, Yami. It's me." Yugi didn't sound enthused that his yami was poking him rather harshly. "Hey, cut it out, okay?"
"Hehe! You're a BUNNY!" exclaimed Yami with a clap and a smile.
"I am well aware."
By this time, Bakura and Malik had picked out their hikaris and were making fun of them as well. With all the noise and commotion, it was impossible to hear yourself think!
"Squawk! OKAY, PEOPLE! SHUDDAP! Squawk!" Tea screeched as she flew around the room, trying to restore order. "Squawk! HAVE WE ALL FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE PAPER???!!! Squawk!"
"Paper? What paper?" asked Malik in the middle of trying to pull Marik out of his shell.
"Oooo! Can I blow it up?" Bakura asked immediately.
"No Bakura," Ryou replied. "We need to USE that paper!"
Bakura snapped his fingers remorsefully. "Damn...Well, if I can't blow the paper up, I'll blow all of YOU up! LET THE FUR FLY! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"NOOOOO! You can blow it up after we use it, okay?" Ryou screamed, stopping Bakura in the process of casting a shadow spell.
"Deal!" Bakura said, giving the ferret a hearty smack that sent Ryou across the room.
"Uh...that wasn't very nice, Baka," Yami pointed out with a sharp glance at Bakura. Bakura shrugged nonchalantly.
"What do I care? It's just a white ferret," he said with a yawn.
Yami stamped his foot angrily and grabbed Bakura by his collar. "That FERRET happens to be your HIKARI!" he shouted in the other's face.
Bakura glared at Yami and swiped his hands away. "Get your slimy hands offa me, Baka Pharaoh!" he snarled.
"I am NOT baka!" replied Yami angrily, shoving Bakura into Malik (once again saving Marik from being yanked out of his shell!).
"Are too, Baka!" Bakura said, sticking out his tongue.
"Yeah! Baka Pharaoh!" Malik chimed in after dropping Marik and allowing the turtle to crawl away from harm.
"YOU'RE ALL BAKA!" Joey shouted at that exact moment.
"Nani?" asked all three yamis, looking at the dog hurtfully.
"All right, now that we have your attention..." Joey said, clearing his throat. "HEY! I SAID LISTEN!"
But the three fighting yamis paid the Lab no attention, as Bakura and Malik were engaged in a game of tennis, using Yami as the ball.
"Yugi, make them STOP!" Yami cried out from the air while the other two cackled evilly.
Yugi sighed and stared up at Yami in exasperation. "Yami, look at me. I am a BUNNY! I can't do ANYTHING!"
"I vote we go over there and bite their butts off," Joey said as he watched Yami bounce back and forth from Bakura to Malik.
Tristan sweat-dropped. "Uh, you go do that, Joey. But don't blame me when they blow you up into Kibbles 'N Bits."
"That's not funny, pellet boy!" snapped Joey moodily.
Mai, practically the ONLY one not fighting, sighed and crossed her paws. "Great. The paper has been blown away...Everyone is fighting...And we're not getting changed back JUST SITTING HERE!"
But, her voice was so small, that no one heard it.
Except, that is, for Seto.
He swished his tail in boredom of the scene before him. "Mokuba...go outside," he said suddenly.
"Huh? Why?" asked the Shetland pony nervously.
"Listen, just do it, 'k?"
"Out the window?! No way!"
"No, no, Mokuba; out the DOOR."
"Oh. Okay."
Everyone was so busy fighting with someone else that no one but Mai noticed him leave. "Kaiba, what are you up to?" she asked suspiciously.
"Just follow Mokuba out the door," he commanded her arrogantly.
She merely glared at him. "And what if I don't want to?"
In reply, Seto licked his lips and gave her a toothy grin of cat fangs. "Do you really have a choice?"
"Eeep!" Mai squeaked and scuttled away after Mokuba as fast as she could.
Seto watched her leave, and then turned his attention to the arguing people...er, animals and yamis.
"Hey, you! Bakura!" he suddenly exclaimed, drawing Ryou's yami's attention.
Bakura, who had been in the process of punching Yami, turned to glare at the cat. "WHAT!? Can't you see I'm busy?!" he exclaimed angrily, punching Yami for emphasis.
"NO, Bakura! Stop it!" Yugi pleaded from below, his little white paws curled up to his chest.
Bakura looked down at the bunny and plucked him up by the scruff of his neck. "You know? I think I'm gonna toss you out the window! Have a nice flight!" he cackled maniacally.
Seto, who did NOT like being ignored, suddenly hissed and jumped on top of Bakura's head as he was about to toss Yugi out the window. "REEARROOWWW!" he screeched, digging his claws into the spiky white hair.
"GAAAAAHHHHHHRRRR! YOU'RE GONNA DIE, CAT!" Bakura yelled, dropping Yugi and attempting to swat the little brown kitty off of his head. Just before Yugi hit the ground, Yami scooped him up out of midair and fled from Bakura's wrath.
In a corner not far away, a little white ferret was gaining consciousness. "...Crumpet?" he said as he woke up, blinking in confusion. Yami snatched Ryou too just as Seto leapt from Bakura's head and ran for the door.
"Get back here, cat! I ain't through with you! I'm gonna skin you alive, and blow you up, and make gloves outta your fur and sell them on Ebay!" Bakura screeched as he took off after Seto.
"And I am not through with YOU, Tomb Robber!" snarled Yami as he chased after the retreating figure to exact his revenge.
Joey, who had been arguing with Tristan, noticed Kaiba rush by in a whiz of fur, and let his animal instinct take over. "Ooo, kitty! Catch it! Rip it! Bite it! Kill it!" he barked happily.
"Wait, Joey!" Tristan exclaimed, grabbing onto the wagging tail and hanging on for dear sanity as the dog chased the cat.
"Aminals! Come back, aminals!" Malik squealed, noticing Joey running away. "Let's play Fetch the Hamster!" When Joey didn't stop running, the immature yami decided to run after him.
It was at that moment that Tea and Marik found themselves alone in the room. A cricket chirped in the sudden silence around them.
"Do you get the idea that we're the only ones here?" Marik asked a second later.
"Squawk! Yeah. Maybe we should go after them. Squawk!" Tea replied, flying down from her perch and scooping the turtle up in her claws.
"Yeow! Hey, Baka! Put me down NOW, or I shall make you my obed—"
"Squawk! Ah stuff it, Marik! We BOTH know you won't get out there for a year if I don't carry you! Squawk!" Tea interrupted.
She flew gracefully back up the hallway they had come down earlier and found everyone gathered outside at "12345 Happy House Drive." Everyone was outside. And they were fighting. AGAIN.
JY: (sigh) Well, at LEAST they're out of the house
Yami: Why did you let Bakura and Malik smack me!!!??? I demand a reason NOW!
JY: We are the Authors Almighty©! We don't have to provide a reason for the likes of you! Nya nya!
Yami: Grrr...I summon Dark Magician from the Shadow Realm! In attack mode!
JY: O.O YIKES! You can't do that! We're the Authors Almighty©!
Yami: Oh yeah?? DARK MAGICIAN! DARK MAGIC ATTACK!
JY: Eep! Uh...PLUSHIFY!
Dark Magician: (turns into chibi plushie)
Yami: Gasp! What have you done to my Dark Magician!?
Y: (picks up DM) Idn't it squee? (huggles plushie)
Yami: Squee??? Nani?
J: It means cute in her language...
Yami: But...but...how could you DO such a HORRID thing??!!
J: (pats Yami on back) It's okay, Yami. You'll live.
Y: (dancing and singing) Plushie, plushie, plushie! SQEEE!
Yami: (sweat-drop) Uh...readers, HELP ME! Review so she'll turn him back to normal!!! PLLLEEEAASSSEEE!
Note: Authors Almighty© is our new trademark!
