Chapter 3: Hyrule Field and Zelda

(Hi! This is Washuu, the co-author! See the list of FAQ's that are on the author lookup of this person for further adventures of adorable me!)

A/N- yeah, as adorable as a cactus.

(She isn't nice to meeeee!)

A/N- This was also the product of the creative and wonderful imagination of Washuu, who came up with most of the comedy. Wait a second, did I just say what I thought I said?

Anything in () is Washuu. There, now let's finally get to the actual story!

Chapter 5: Horseradish and Fried Fish to Go (YUM!) A/N-shut up.

Goku regretted ever asking that question, because Link dragged him all the way back to Lon-Lon Ranch. "Hey, Link, isn't that girl's name Marron?" asked Goku innocently.

"No! It's MALON. M-A-L-O-N." said Link irritably.

After a day of searching, they reached Lon Lon Ranch. Goku being curious about everything went through every door there was in the general vicinity. Then Link and Goku got to play a fun-filled game of Catch the Super Cucco, which got Goku covered in chicken manure. This caused Talon to laugh hysterically and give them a bottle of milkj.

"This is very special milk," said Talon. "The bottle's label was misprinted, so it looks like a bottle of milkj."

"Gee, how can you tell?" asked Goku, looking at the label covered with weird-looking symbols.

Then the two (ahem) YOUNG adventurers went outside and saw Malon in the field singing her creepy little song and Epona acting, basically, like a horse. (Wow, really?)

"Hey," said Goku, "how does she sing without her mouth movin-hlraex!" Link had stifled him yet again.

"Oh, fairy boy, it's you again!" said Malon delightedly, stopping her singing (which lingered eerily in the background continuously)

"Hey," said Goku, " what about me?"

"It's been a while, fairy boy!" she said, completely ignoring Goku.

"Malon? Hey? We came to check on you!"

"Well how are you doing, fairy boy?" continued Malon blithely.

Goku had only one hope. He looked over at Link, who was standing there silently and staring obliviously at Malon. Knowing that his idea was insane, he took a deep breath…

"MAAARRRRONNNNN!" he bellowed deafeningly.

"Did he just call me 'macaroon'?" asked Malon, but Link was too busy trying to tackle Goku to answer.

"No. But I actually want that confectionery delight known as a macaroon cookieJ , with the coconut on--gargle…" Link had finally got his hands around Goku's throat and was squeezing for all he was worth. The frantic chase had spurred Goku's brain into action, which is why he said something intelligent ^_~(Washuu here, winking @ you for no reason @ all.)

Malon suddenly said, "Link, do you want to know my song?" Link released Goku, who choked several times and became his normal skin tone again, rather than bluish-purple. Link whipped his ocarina out and learned Epona's song while Goku madly chased horses around with a fork and knife in hand.

As they were leaving the ranch, Link asked Goku where he got the fork and knife. In turn, Goku asked where Link got the ocarina. They left it at that. Suddenly Navi popped out! Goku pulled out a spear! Link looked rather surprised and had a moment of stupidity. Ignoring Goku who had pulled a spear out of nowhere, he looked at Navi.

"Where did you come from?" he asked, as Goku and Navi exchanged glances of disbelief.

"Uh…from your hat, Link," answered the dumbfounded Navi. (But then, she's always been dumb)

A/N-Yeah!

Navi hovered there a minute, bobbing up and down, until finally Link asked, "Well, why are you here?

"Because I'm your fairy! I have to be here!"

Goku snapped his fingers. "Man!"

"Well," said Link, exasperated, "What did you come to TELL me!?"

"To go to the Great Deku Tree!"

"He DIED ALREADY!"

"Oh, really? Well then go to the castle!"

"We have already been there too," said Link with deadly calm.

A/N-Is Navi having a blonde moment?

(She's always like that. She's having a lot of BLUE moments.)

"Dodongo's Cavern?" asked Navi eagerly.

"No," Link said, sounding as if he wanted to pull her little wings out and let her play with Epona in full gallop, hopefully straight for her.

"Lon Lon Ranch?" asked Navi hopefully.

Author- No.

(No.)

"NO, YOU STUPID FAIRY!" shrieked Link, finally losing his temper. Goku attempted to hide under a pebble, which didn't fit him very well.

(I wouldn't be putting in all these author's notes except the author wants notes. Don't blame me. And also I love Goku, he is my honey bun.)

A/N- Then why are you making such a fool of him?

(You asked me to.)

"Ganondorf's castle?"

"He doesn't HAVE a castle!"

"What kind of a name is Ganondorf anyway?" cut in Goku, who was looking for a hole to hide in. Everyone ignored him, even when he tried to hide under a Peahat, which kept chasing him around with blades in full spin while Navi wouldn't shut up. Eventually Link noticed that Goku was swimming across the river for all he was worth with a huge evil plant chasing him. He ran into the path leading to Zora's River, so Link followed him. Navi floated there finally said the right answer with nobody around to hear it, and flew across the river drunkenly (as always) after Link.

"Well,

Well, they finally made it to Zora's River. Emphasis on the 'finally'. The trip was uneventful except for some minor incidents involving Goku falling into the river, and later making a very credible attempt to eat an Octorok. Link played the Royal Lullaby and opened the way through the waterfall.

"Why does a lullaby do so much, anyway?" inquired Goku.

Link had no reply but a low growl.

Inside the music was playing.

"Where's the harp?" asked Goku.

"You ask too many questions, you know that?" was his aggravated reply.

A/N- I think it's a xylophone.

(Xylophone starts with 's'.)

A/N- Eh?

(Sorry, too much sleep aid.)^_~ (See? I'm winking @ the audience again for no purpose.)

A/N- ^_^;;

They talked to every Zora until they came to the KING ZORA.

(Who is very fat. Sort starts with a 'z'.)

A/N- Weight watchers alert! Richard Simmons! Jenny Craig! Mob this fish!"

"Well," said Goku, "I've caught bigger fish than that one. Besides, he's all blubber."

Link wanted most desperately to strangle him, but he had to content himself with grinding his boot down on Goku's toe to shut him up.

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Quit it already! Please! My toe hurts! Ow! OOOWWWWW! GET YOUR BOOT OFF MY TOES!!!!!"

(Apparently it didn't work very well.)

A/N- Apparently.

"What is the meaning of this?" said the immensely fat Zora.

"Well," said Link humbly, trying desperately to act like Goku was being calm and orderly (instead of hopping around like a maniac), "we wished to…wanted…WILL YOU STOP IT ALREADY!?!?!?!"

"Sorry," said Goku, his tail switching back and forth. (Hopefully my rather dim-witted cohort remembered the tail)

"Now, Your Eminence the great and powerful King Zora…" began Link, to be cut off by a shriek from King Zora, who had discovered Goku smearing tartar sauce on his leg.

"GOKU!" yelled Link, experiencing another moment of stupidity from shock. "What are you doing? I hate tartar sauce! ….er, oops."

A/N- Link?

"What?"

A/N- I hate tartar sauce too.

(Link can't hear you.)

"I can't!?!"

(Nope, we're not here.)

Goku, as always, had made a mess of things. Link stood in front of the King, who was in shock of some sort and would now only talk about how he was worried about his poor, dear Princess Ruto. Goku walked away towards a tunnel in the side of the cave and found the Zora, who made his usual offer for a diving game. Link walked up behind him in time to see Goku lean over the edge, contemplating the deal, lose his balance, and brilliantly fall over the edge. He began whirling his little Saiyan tail like a dynamo and hovered.

"I'll accept!" he cried, and the stunned Zora mechanically threw one Rupee into the water. Only one. He dove and effortlessly caught it. He them flew back up on his furry little helicopter tail and accepted his prize (the Zora conveniently forgetting that Goku hadn't paid, on the principle that little flying tailed children shouldn't be annoyed) which was a Tinfoil Scale (because he could already hold his breath underwater for longer than Link could.) Link dove (at least he paid) and won the silver scale.

A/N: I'll interview Washuu at the end of the chapter. There will also be no more author add ins for humor. You may find that ending up being a lie. Now back to the to the young heroes:

Link was practicing his swan dive in the pool where the Zoras live when Goku said to him, "Hey Link, wasn't that big fish worried about a princess….er….. Roto-Rooter?"

"Ruto! So what?"

"Well we have been here for three days and haven't even began to look for her. Not that I want to find her the last princess I met was named Snake and she almost ate me …."

"You were eaten by a princess?!? What is it with you and girls…. Hey, what's that hole doing there!?!?!" They went through it and found it led to a lake. They found later that it was named Lake Hylia. While Goku went fishing for no reason, Link found something interesting in the bottom of the lake. They met later on the shore. "Hey Link look what I found," said Goku holding up a bottle containing a miniature fish.

"Goku where did you get that bottle."

"I was a good boy and drank my milkj but the funny thing is it tasted like plain old milk!"

Link rolled his eyes but decided to ignore that statement. "Look at this, I found a message in a bottle."

"I found a fishful of dollars."

"You mean fistful."

"No Oolong my pig friend turned into a fish and Bulma fished him out using money."

"You know, Goku," said Link, "I don't understand you sometimes."

"You said you didn't understand me at all!" (Washuu- ^_^;;)

"Uh…let's go, Goku!"

So they decided to read the note. Link read it silently. Goku kept trying to look over his shoulder and read it, but since he didn't read Hylian he just stared at it blankly.

"Hey, Goku, Princess Ruto is in trouble!"

"Oh, it doesn't say 'Vegeta's hair looks like an upside-down ice cream cone that became spiky?'

Everyone, including the author and co-author, stares at him

(Huh?)

A/N- Loco in el cabesa!

(You never learned the language, did you?)

A/N- Si.

(And now back to the nonsensical adventures of the two chibi adventurers! Goku is sooo kawaii!)

"Uh…Goku…you can't read Hylian, can you?"

"I don't think so…"

"Haven't you ever gone to school?"

"No, I grew up in the mountains! In the forest!"

"Huh? Where exactly are you from?"

"Earth!"

"What is this 'Earth'?

"Wow, I keep forgetting that this isn't it! I mean, we have green grass and trees and horses too. And girls. Plenty of girls. Especially my friend Tenchi. He has eight! I mean, one of them is the one who sent me here!"

(Yeah. I should know!)

A/N- I should know too, I wrote this story!

"Hey, we're living it here!"

(You can't hear us, Link!)

"But I…oh well!"

"Link, you're talking to yourself again!" yelped Goku annoyingly.

"Oh, forget it. Let's just go on and finish this quest."

"Yeah!"

So they walked around the lake and talked to each other about the weather and the unnaturally short length of the day. Then Goku found the FISHING pond! They ran inside! (GASP!)

"Hi!" said the proprietor. "Interested in a little fishing, boys? Only cost you 20 Rupees!"

"Okay!" said Goku eagerly. The proprietor tried to hand him a pole.

"Oh, no," said Goku, "that spoils the fun." He dove in and caught this huge fish instantly. The fishing guy walked over and examined the fish.

"Well," he said calmly, "this is A HUGE FISH THAT PROBABLY WEIGHS LIKE 15 POUNDS!!!!!!!"

"That isn't as good as my usual fish that Chichi cooks for me," said Goku

"Who the moo is Tenchi?" asked the pond owner.

"Moo?" asked Link.

"NOT Tenchi! Chichi! Tenchi isn't my wife!"

(I'll be your wife AND Tenchi's!)

"But that's against the law!"

(Hey! I married Tenchi along with like four other people! You think I care about the law?)

A/N- Washuu! You said they couldn't hear us!

(But Link heard you! Why can't my honey bun hear me?)

A/N- I'm not in love with Link like you are!

(I'm in love with almost everyone!)

A/N- Like whom?

(Roger Smith, Tenchi, Goku is sooooo kawaii! Gohan as a teenager and adult Vegeta is kinda cute…garglegargle)

Author attempts to strangle Washuu, who flails around frantically.

"I bet 300 yen on Washuu to win!" yelled Goku.

"What are yen?"

"Rupees, rupees!"

"Uh…Goku, you don't HAVE that much…"

"I'll earn it!"

"Well then, I'll bet that much too! On the Author!" said Link rather recklessly.

About a second after they shook hands and sealed the deal, Washuu and the Author signed a peace treaty!

The fishing guy looked over at them. "I said it would be a draw!" Both Link and Goku looked at each other, remembering that he had indeed said that at some point during the battle.

"Link, he didn't shake on it!"

"No, he didn't!"

Washuu and the Author put down the peace pipe and agreed with each other that the fishing guy had shaken hands with no one.

"Drat," said the fishing guy.

A talk show set appears:

Author: Can you put me in that game Washuu?

(Sure just fire the converter and…)

Author: Wait how will we keep in touch with each other?

(Here is a micro communicator.)

Author: Thanks!

Mean while back at the pond there is a big flash and BOOM! And a female Link clad in pink appeared. Link circles around her, "Who are you?"

His female counterpart replied, "I'm the Author, but you can call me Pink Link."

(Hi Pinkie!)

Pl/N- none of that from you.

(OK, Pinkie!)

"I thought you were just a voice," exclaimed Goku.

(I wanna come too)

Pl/N- if you go no one can fire up that machine of yours to get us and Goku outa here. Besides Mihoshi might get in your Lab

(Good point)

"Listen y'all I want to get that Zora's Sapphire," said Pink Link.

"Can we call you "Pinkie" like Washuu did," asked Link

"Not unless you have a death wish. You can call me Pl, Pink, or Pink Link."

"Pl will do."

Our two heroes and heroine went back to the land of the Zoras. Link showed the message to King Zora. He moved willingly like the fat frog he is and let them through…. (With the noise that sounds just like an unnaturally fat guinea pig-no, not my little guinea pig Tenchi- trying to move sideways along a narrow ledge.)

Goku was impressed by the size of Lord Jabu-Jabu. Pl started tapping on the huge fish, "Hello Jonah. Are you in there?" A very odd voice said "NO!" Pl jumps back in surprise. Link tried opening the fish's mouth though kicking him in the mouth didn't work well. Goku got hungry, (That's original) and tried to open his bottle (Yummy, sushi! ^_~) but it slipped from his hands and shattered. Jabu-Jabu saw the fish and sucked it in along with Goku, Link and Pl.

"Auntie Em, it's a twister!" cried PL as she flew in before the gigantic mouth shut (With a clang?)

PL/n- No.

Goku looked around. He had one thing to say.

"Ow!" An Octorok had been right on target.

Link was examining the valve that stretched over the way forward.

"I wonder how we open this?" he said curiously.

"Well," said Pl, "we have to shoot the uvula."

Link looked at the uvula.

"That shouldn't be too hard."

Goku was bored, so he decided to shoot the Octoroks with his little slingshot. He actually dispatched of them and the bubbles and decided to shoot the uvula with a Kamehameha wave (or at least the tiny one he was capable of.)

"Mar-ee-mey-AH!" he yelled, picked up the nearest child dictator he could find (Gundam fans rejoice!)

And threw her. Which wasn't good, but he DID hit the uvula. And the valve opened.

"Wow," said Link, "where did you get that small dictator?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well," said Pl, "although I have no idea what just happened, we should go now."

So they did. They walked and walked and walked and…

"I'm really hungry!" said Goku.

"Well," said Link irritably, "we would have been able to eat out there if you hadn't tried to have a raw fish." (Mmm, sushi! ^_~)

"Shut up, Washuu," said Pl, "or I'll strangle you."

(I'm not in that fish. I'm out here with the audience. ^_~)

"And we signed a peace treaty."

(So you can't kill me! Heh heh heh!)

"Hey Goku fry me a electric jellyfish I'm hungry," said Pl.

(Mmmm-)

"Quiet for once!"

"OK," cried Goku. "KA"

"Link for cover"

Link became amazed that Goku was doing the same attack that he couldn't move

"maya"

"Now Link"

"may"

"Idiot!"

Pl throws Link to the ground.

"Ah"

Goku brilliantly missed the jelly fish and hits the wall. "Boys the fish is frying and if you want to not be fried a suggest you follow me and RUN!" (mmmm fried fish)

Pl/N I wish Jabu-Jabu was a salmon.

The friends (not by the way Link treats Goku) made it out alive just before the fish fully caught on fire. The smell of something burning attracted all the Zoras and all our heroes and heroine could say was "Oops!" The Zoras decided that they shouldn't let a good fried fish go to waste so they had a feast. Pl pulled butter and lemon from nowhere and started to rub the fish in it. "Can't have a good fish without lemon or butter." The fish was only the main course of this aquatic feast. There were plenty of Octorocks for Goku, Jellyfish for Pl, and even Link had a nibble of Barinade the giant sea anemone that Pl's hunger and Goku's bad aim kept them from fighting.

"Oh no," one of the Zoras cried when he saw a chard female Zora laying on his plate. "p-Princess Ruto!" Link was rummaging thru the rubble and found the Zora's Sapphire. Goku and Pl started running towards him chased by mad Zoras armed with spears. Our friends ran back to Hyrule Field in a flash. "(You just had to fry the princess too!)"screamed everyone at Goku who was trying to get away from them. (You can't get away from me I'm everywhere in this story) Two hands from nowhere came out and strangled Goku. "Cut it out Washuu"

(Pig, cut) A guinea pig came from nowhere holding a pair of scissors menacingly. "Not that cut just leave Goku alone and take Pig outa here!" The hands and guinea pig disappear with a POOF!

Link remembered what they were supposed to be doing, "Let's go back to Hyrule Castle and show Zelda our gems……

Pl/N I decided the interview with Washuu will be at the end at the story. Don't miss Chapter 6: Two Heroes One Master Sword

(this was a special addition chapter because I wont be here all the time.)