Chapter 7: Ghost Pie (and?) Pl/N: I decided not to write long titles.
The scene opened with Jingle Bells playing:
(Pl!)
Pl/N: oops! Wrong story!
Link was relived to see his Master Sword replaced in his hand instead of the candy cane. As they entered Lon Lon Ranch Pl observed, "It's quiet too quiet. Wait a second where's Navi."
Link sighed, "In the millisecond it took for our loyal readers to click on this chapter Goku and I appeared in another story. Everything was a balloon. And…well…Navi got popped by a rabid toothpick."
Pl/N: the story they are talking about won't go up. Unless I'm very evil. But a toothpick didn't get Navi a sword got her. Link's sword.
Goku suddenly spoke up; "I could have used that toothpick."
("Why?")
"Remember that Peahat that chased me seven years ago? Did you notice when you got there it was gone?" Link, Pl, and Washuu were disgusted at Goku's lack of hygiene.
Ingo was the new owner of the ranch. He gave Talon the boot (Yep I saw it: Ingo handed Talon a boot then told him to get of his ranch) and made Malon work for him. He charged our heroes, and heroine 10 rupees to ride a horse. Link found Epona and started riding her very well. So well in fact that Ingo challenged him to a race. Link won with ease so he said that if Link won the next race he could keep Epona. It was a difficult race. Link would have lost if Pl hadn't held Ingo's horse by the tail or if Goku wasn't running after Epona with a fork and knife.
Ingo was so mad that he lost he locked them in. Goku hopped on Epona with Pl holding lightly on her tail. And they jumped over one of the walls. "Goku there is not enough room for you on my horse."
"Then what am I going to do?"
(I can help you!)
With a POOF! Goku's flying nimbus appeared. Pl wanted to get on Goku's nerves so she typed something on her laptop and pressed enter. Suddenly she was in the air! (It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Super Pinky!) Goku started to whine. "Cut it out," said Link. "We have to get to Kakariko Village and see what's up."
When they reached Kakariko, they found that most of the population of Hyrule Castle Town was there. They found this one guy saying that he saw the ghost of Dampe the grave keeper. "Oh boy," thought Pl.
"There's a fresh grave."
"Goku how do you know it's fresh?"
(He's not looking at the grave. He's looking at a slice of cake.)
"There are those weird triangular flowers in front of it."
(The cake?)
"No! That grave!"
"Hey! Lazybones! Help me move the tombstone!" shouted Link.
"No last time I went down a grave I was attacked by Keese and Redheads."
(What? I didn't attack you there!)
Pl and Link had to drag him down the grave. Instead of a deadly obstacle they saw the grave keeper's ghost (why is there a halo on his head?) who challenged them to a race. The race was tough. Dampe kept throwing fire at them. They actually made it through in one piece, so Dampe gave them a Hookshot. "Be careful on your way out," cackled the ghost.
(He's bad at cackling)
They walked forward and found a blue block with a symbol on it. Pl examined it closer with a magnifying glass, "Looks kind like the Door of You Know What."
(Duh! Why do you need a magnifying glass!? The symbols take up the entire rock!)
Pl/N: there was a small sticker that said "from the Door of You Know What."
So Link played the Song of YKW with Pl accompanying him again. The block evaporated! They did the same thing with the next one and found themselves in the windmill!
There was a very demented looking guy there. (But he used to be such a nice deranged guy!) He was mad at a kid who had played on ocarina seven years ago a song that set the windmill outa whack. (Outa whack?) When Link whipped out his ocarina, the guy growled and taught the Song of Storms to Link. After he learned the song, the windmill went out of control and the guy growled again. (I'll do it for him. *GROWL*) Our adult heroes (that statement includes Pinky) ran like idiots out of the windmill.
"What was that?!?!"
"It's a Big Poe!" Goku and Pl were nervous about that guy in the windmill so on their ride to the Kokiri Forest they were pointing out how much Hyrule had changed.
"Ouch!" Another Octorok was on target in hitting Goku. The forest was filled with Big Deku Babas (What kind of fertilizer do they use?), Octoroks, and Mad Scrubs. The Kokiri kept calling Link "mister" and kept saying that he looks like an old friend of theirs named Link. Our heroes thought the Forest Temple was in the Sacred Forest Meadow so that's were they went…
They decided to see their old friends the Skull Kids, but that didn't work out well. Apparently they didn't like adults because they shot Goku, Pl, and Link with blow darts from their horns.
(Go Skull kids!)
They ran like idiots again. (They have no other way of running. They're idiots.) "Ok," said Pl while looking at her map. "We go this way and…. Ouch!" She had bumped into Mido. He said that even though Link wore Kokiri clothes he wouldn't let them through. Link played Saria's Song with Pl accompanying him on an oboe! Mido let them through because only Saria's friends knew that song. Goku, Link, and Pl went in and out of logs 'till they finally reached the Sacred Forest Meadow.
Goku thought it was safe and tried to walk through, but an ugly pig thing called a Moblin attacked him with a spear. While it was distracted Link hit it in the butt with his Hookshot. Luckily the Moblin didn't hurt Goku. His head was too thick for it to cause any real damage. They were more careful on the way trough. Goku had a mishap with a female Moblin though. Let me give you a hint: there was mistletoe above him held by Washuu's hand.
(That….censored….I was going to kiss Goku! Or, let our most loyal reader, Kei, kiss him)
They also met a big Moblin with a big club that made earthquakes. Goku and Pl jumped over him leaving Link to fend for himself. He made it through with a lot of trouble. They walked up the steps. Sheik was waiting for them…….
He talked about childhood friends and memories, taught Link the Minuet of the Forest, and then he thew a Deku Nut and vanished. They soon realized why they needed the Hookshot. The steps were broken off. "How did Saria get up there?"
("Goku, for the rest of this adventure no more stupid questions") They had to take turns using the Hookshot. Unfortunately Goku aimed wrong and hit the earthquake Moblin. He escaped with not a bruise. Link didn't get it…….
"Goku, why are you on the ceiling?"
"Link, why are on the ceiling?"
"Why are you guys on the walls?" They all said this at the same time. They finally realized that they were in a twisted hallway and went on…
Link wouldn't let Goku or Pl use his new Fairy Bow. He was afraid that Goku would eat it. Pl snapped her fingers and Rowen's bow and arrows appeared in her hands. (For you people who don't know Rowen is from Ronin Warriors) Goku was comfortable with his Kamehameha waves so he stuck with them.
(Ah, the Turtle Death Wave. Yummy.)
"Don't make fun of my Kamehameha waves! They're cute!"
Pl/N: ^_^;;
Later in the Forest Temple Goku and Link found something they hated more than Fire Keese, Floor Masters. They are giant hands that if you hit them twice they'll split into three smaller hands and suck your brain for nourishment. Our heroes had a peculiar incidence with them…
One of the "baby" hands latched on each of our heroes. The one on Link's head went to normal size. On Pl the thing swelled way past normal size and exploded (she wishes). Goku's was the weirdest. His shrived up and died of starvation. (Don't make fun of my carrot cake!)
The problem with the Forest Temple was that to work an elevator our main characters had to defeat the Poe Sisters and get back the colored fire they stole. Beth and Ioelle was a breeze. Amy was harder because to fight he they had to put a puzzle together. Meg by far was the most difficult. She made and illusion of herself so Pl, Goku, and Link had to find the real her. After Meg was defeated, the elevator was working again.
(Basement: Dead End City and Boss's Lair. Everyone out!)
"Err…thanks Washuu…I guess," said a very confused Link.
A lot of wall pushings later they stumbled into the boss's lair. The boss was……..Phantom Ganon. Yes, he was an illusion of the real ugly thing. It even had a horse. Well the point was to shoot at him with the bow and arrows or Hookshot before he jumped out of a portrait. The catch? There were 6 or 7 portraits and a fake Ganon. Pl easily eliminated the problem. "ARROW SHOCK WAVE!" She hit the real Ganon and knocks him of his horse. But that guy had a head harder than Goku's or Kinto's combined. He shot at Link with a light beam thingie. Link out of reflex tried to hit it with his sword. It actually worked! Ganon came crashing to the ground. Goku and Pl went up and started to hit him with their swords. The team eventually overwhelmed Ganon and he was banished by Ganondorf himself to the shadow world or something to that effect.
Our Team jumped into the aura of blue light and was teleported to the Chamber of Sages and Saria appears in an aura of blue of her own. She was the Sage of the Forest Temple. She gave our friends the Forest Medallion and then they had to go leaving Saria in the chamber forever…..
The aura now carried them to the dead Deku Tree, but there was some thing on the ground. Link bent over to get a better look then all of a sudden the sprout sprouted into his face. "AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!" The plant introduced him to be the Deku Tree's son, the Deku Sprout. (See Link, when you're in the hero biz, you meet new people.) He told Link Why he grew up but the Kokiri didn't; as it turned out, the Kokiri were children forever (like the adorable me), but Link was Hyrulian…..
After the sprout told a fine tale the tree decided to leave. They decided to go to Death Mountain, because there was an odd ring of fire around it.
Pl/N: The story heats up in Chapter 8: Link, My Hair is Fine
Rowen pops in from nowhere to nowhere, "Hey Pl! Give back my bow! I need it to fight Talpa!"
"Rowen, Talpa is dead."
"Oh yea! Ok keep the bow and take my armor too."
"It won't fit, but Ok!"
