Hospitals. I looked around the dull waiting lobby. The walls were a dull off white and the florescent lights hummed softly. There were rows of small cushiony chairs for people waiting. That's all this room was. Waiting.... Waiting for good new. Waiting for bad news. Waiting for the arrival of a baby, or the loss of a loved one. There were a few people in the lobby with us.

One young man in particular was pacing obsessively, every few minutes going up to the front desk and asking the receptionist if there was any new news on the condition of his girlfriend. The answer was, alas, no.

The door leading to the critical care hall opened. The young man looked up hopefully, but the medic walked over to us.

"Mr. Baxter is still unconscious unfortunately. The doctors have no idea when he'll wake, but we'll page you when he dose. So just hang on."

"To what?" Starfire asked absentmindedly.

"What?"

"Two what shall we 'hold on' to?"

"Its just an expression Star." Raven and I said together in tired voices. The medic scribbled some notes on his clipboard, then made his way back up to critical care.

"So, why are we here again?" Asked Beastboy, looking at some old magazines from the front desk.

"Well, this man, Mr. Baxter, might be a victim of Slades," Robin said, looking over Beastboys shoulder to the magazine, "He's a biochemist, he was working on a genetic mutation experiment on some sort of insects. This morning he was found in a lab outside of Gothem, badly injured."

"Experimenting on buggies? How excruciatingly dull." I commented, looking to the clock, it was 8:56am. We had already been waiting for twenty minutes! No, I must work on being patient. I sat down next to Beastboy.

And when the clock read 8:57, I had become completely board.

How much longer? I'm only young once ya know. And this whole being a superhero thing must take a couple years off your life. Better live it up while I can. I elbowed Beastboy.

"Lets go," I whispered, "Maybe we'll find where they keep all the extra body parts!!"

He nodded and we slipped away unnoticed. We left the lobby and walked into the main part of the hospital. We turned and made our way down a long white hall.

"Where oh where do they keep them?" I asked, looking at Beastboy, "Hmmmm, if I was a preserved body part, where would I vacation too?"

"Here," Beastboy said calmly, pointing to door labeled 'Preservitory'.

"Are you sure?" I asked doubtfully.

"Yeah, one Robin and I had to come her and examine a finger that had been infected with some strange alien bacteria. I forget what it was called. Something spore related."

"Really?"

"Wait until you see it! It's so fucking awesome!!" He carefully looked over the door. I juggled the doorknob.

"It's locked!" I said in a sad voice.

"Not for long," Beastboy said grinning.

He winked at me, then transformed into a flea. I could just barley see the little speck that was Beastboy, zoom around my head then fly into the keyhole of the door. I waited; taking nervous glances around the hall to make sure no one was coming. The door made a soft click as Beastboy unlocked it on the other side.

"Hurry!" I hissed.

"Ok!" He hissed mockingly back as he opened the door. I rushed into the pitch-black room.

"Where's the-"

"Shhhh!"

"Oh, sorry," I dropped my voice, "Where's the light switch?"

"Hold on, hold on." Beastboy brushed up against me as he groped the wall for the switch.

"Foooound it."

Click.

An eerie faint green glow cast across the room. It was like a library! A library of jars, resting on shelves. I looked closer. Jars filled with body parts!! I felt like a child at Christmas.

"Ewwww! Look! Its so gross!" I exclaimed gleefully, "How fun!!"

Beastboy pranced around the room, inspecting each jar as if it was filled with gold.

"Oho! Sweet!" He turned the corner and was out of my sights. I bend down, looking at a toe. It floated pleasantly in its preservation juices, looking like a small pale pickle. A small pickle with a nail attacked.

"Naomi! Look over here!" I bent down, and moved a jar to see Beastboy's face on the other side of the shelf.

"Look!" He handed me a jar.

"Ohhh! A heart!!" He smiled,

"I gave you a heart, and its after Valentines day."

"Your just a considerate boyfriend I guess."

"That I am." We continued our search of body parts.

"Oh! Look! A spleen!"

"Wohhhh! I didn't know that tonsils were so bumpy!"

"Look! Over here!!"

"No, look over here!"

"No, get your butt over her and look at the nose!"

"But there's an eyeball over here!"

"Really?" I started to make my way to look at the eyeball, but something caught my eye. I stared at if for a few moments, then erupted in giggles.

"What?"

"LOOK!!" I giggled again. He walked over to my shelf and stared.

"Naomi, that's not even funny."

"Yes it is! I bet some angry wife chopped it off!" I giggled at the pickled penis. Beastboy groaned in emotional pain, probably imagining the horror of separation from his male hood.

"Poor guy. Who ever it used to be the proud owner of this penis. I salute you." Beastboy saluted, acting like this guy was some brave hero for enduring this separation. I looked at it a little more closely.

"Are they always that wrinkly?" I asked with the innocent air of a child. Beastboy stared at me.

"You are the weirdest."

"No, really. Is it?"

"Well..." he thought for a moment, "It depends."

"On what?"

"The mood of the guy."

"Ah, I see." I picked up the jar.

"Poor poor guy." Beastboy murmured. I turned the jar and looked at the back, reading a small label attached to the jar. I burst out laughing.

"You can stop sympathizing BB, this guy had it voluntarily cut. It was a sex change." Beastboy snatched the jar out of my hand. His eyes darted back and forth, reading the label.

"Well what do you know? It was a sex change."

"I'm keeping it," I said suddenly. Beastboy almost dropped the jar in shock.

"WHAT?!?!"

"Shhhh! I said I'm keeping it!"

"No your not!"

"Why?"

"Well for one it's stealing. And two... it's a penis Naomi!" He said, with a touch of amusement in his voice.

"So? If you can have one, so can I. Its only fair." He buried his face in his hands.

"And just when I thought we were starting to grow up," He said, laughing soft.

"I am. I desire a penis, just like any other mature girl."

"They usually prefer one attached to a guy. But you of course, would rather one severed and pickled in a jar." I noticed the bitterness in his voice. Ohh, was that what this was all about? He was getting jealous, thinking I would rather want a penis in a jar over his. I hugged him,

"For your information mister, I like the one attached to you just fine. Wow, that sounded really wrong Naomi."

He smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek.

"Its ok, I understand what you meant. Come on," He gave a sigh, "Lets get out of here with your new penis before we get caught."

I smiled at the victory of getting my way and followed my very favorite person in the whole world, back to the door. We opened the door quietly, taking cautious glances around the hall.

"All clear," I whispered as I flicked out the light. We tiptoed out, my clutching my jar tightly, and just when we thought we had gotten away with it-

"What are you two doing?" I nearly jumped out of my skin. A young female doctor in a white lab coat was eyeing us behind her slender glasses.

"What are you two doing?" She repeated.

"We...we..." Beastboy looked to me desperately.

"I wish to purchase this," I said calmly, holding up the jar for all to see. At first Beastboy gasped and covered his face, then decided that he might as well help.

"Yeah... how much?" He asked lamely.

"I'm s-sorry, b-b-but t-that's n-not for sale," She was trying so hard not to laugh, you could hardly understand her.

"Then why was it in the gift shop?" I asked, desperately trying to think of plausible reasons for me to think that a penis in a jar would be for sale.

"Gift shop?"

"Yes," I gestured to the preservitory, "A hospital gift shop. You can buy spare organs for out of this world prices!!" She shook her head, causing a few strands of her shiny red hair to fall out of her tight bun on the back of her head.

"Let me see the jar please." She said, with her hand outstretched. I reluctantly handed my souvenir to her. Her green eyes scanned the label.

"This penis is actually expired. In the past we used it for medical demonstration for the interns, but we do have quite a few more-"

"Angry house wives?"

"Yes, I suppose."

"So, I can buy it, right?" She adjusted her glasses.

"Well, like it told you, it is expired. And practically worthless-"

"Aren't they all?" I couldn't resist saying that. She smiled while Beastboy made a sound of defensiveness.

"So, it will be $2.50 for the jar and...about $100 for the preserve liquids."

"Sold! Charge it to the Titan bill!" She shook her head, laughing, as if we reminded her from her younger days. But probably not too much younger, she was, like, only twenty-five years old.

"Its so nice to see that the cities tax dollars go to the buying of penis."

"And it's so nice to see that I risk by butt everyday!" I said cheerfully, gently reminding her that I do risk my butt everyday.

"Yes, and that is the reason I am making an exception for you to be able to buy a preserved penis. Have a nice day you two." She walked down that hall laughing and shaking her head. I danced around with my jar like a loon.

"Come on BB! Lets show EVERYONE!!"

"Whose everyone?"

"You know, the others. Nikki. Some random people on the walking down the street...."

Beastboy laughed, and grabbed my hand as we ran down the hall, back to the others. We burst into the lobby. Everyone was crowed around Robin, and was working on a crossword puzzle from the newspaper.

"A five letter word for a South African Monkey? Who writes this shit?" Raven asked, looking at the cross word from over Cyborgs shoulder.

"You guys!! You guys!! I got a penis!!" I exclaimed, not bothering to keep my voice down. My friends froze, and slowly turned to look at me.

"Repeat that last statement, please?" Starfire said in a daze.

"I got a penis! And it's HUGE!!"

"What the-"

"Ta da!!" I held up my jar for the entire lobby to see.

"Oh my god..." Raven said, the faintest of smiles creeping onto her face. But Robin was less amused.

"Or image!!" he hissed, literally tackling me to the floor, covering the jar with his cape. In my opinion, it worst for our image for Robin to be tackling me than for me to have a pickled penis, but I don't think now is the time to tell him. Beastboy was standing off to the corner, roaring with laughter.

"Where did you get it?" Asked Robin, still covering the jar with his cape.

"I bought it off a doctor for one hundred and two dollars, and fifty cents.

"A hundred dollars!?!? You spent a hundred dollars on a penis?!?!"

"I'm not a cheap pimp."

Robin was about to say something probably very rude, but then the medic from before came up to us.

"Titans? Mr. Baxter had awakened. He seems very upset."

Raven, Starfire and Cyborg stood up, and I tried to follow, but I couldn't due to the fact that Robin was kinda sitting on me. He got up, and helped me to my feet.

"Oh my god.... A penis in a jar. Only you Naomi."

He smiled a little as he handed back my jar and we followed the medic down the critical care hall. We walked past rows of doors, all containing someone life from within.

The medic stopped short, casing me to bump into Robin. I could hear someone yelling from the other side of the door. I glanced nervously to Cyborg, who shrugged, but I'm not really sure why. The medic opened the door and we all filed inside. A team of nurses was trying to sooth an elderly man, who seemed to be in distress.

"No, please listen to me!! He'll let them out! I know he will! He told me- oh! The Titans! Thank the lord!"

"Its ok sir," Robin said, kneeling down next to the bed, "Were here to help, but before we can, we'll need you to calm down. Okay?"

The mans shouts stopped as he took a couple of deep breaths. He smoothed out white hair with his aged hand.

"Tell us what happened," Robin said, in a cool, collected voice.

"They have to leave." Mr. Baxter insisted, pointing at the nurses. One nurse opened his mouth to protest, but quickly shut it when Raven pointed to the door. It swung open and the nurses' left, looking like they felt belittled. Raven caused the door to shut and lock behind them. Finally the Mr. Baxter looked ready to talk.

"Ok, it's like this you see." He licked his lips nervously, "I... I have always had a fascination with insects. My whole life long. Especially termites. They can devour an entire dead tree log in a day. It's extraordinary really. If it wasn't for those little guys, the entire earth would be knee deep in dead lumber." His eyes darted back and forth, but continued.

"So, on day as I was sitting in my lab, watching the termite farm, I started thinking. I thought 'you know what? What if they could eat other substances? Trash for example. We could solve a lot of Earths pollution problems. I would be famous. Rich, filthy rich.'

This happened thirty years ago. The day after my thought, I stared working. And over the course of thirty years, I finally have it. I bred termites to be able to digest other forms of substances, other than wood." His voice had a bit of pride in it.

"But two termites escaped a couple of days ago. At first I though 'oh well, they will die in a couple of days, and its only two'. You see, termites only live for about fourteen days. But as I was cleaning out my filing cabinet, I found that they had laid eggs. I thought to myself, how is this possible? I have been extra careful to only bred female termites by artificial insinuation. At fist I didn't know how they did it until further inspection and I realized that they had mutated further than I had planed. They had evolved to posses both male and female reproductive organs."

"Just like some species of frogs..." I murmured, remembering back to the frog dissections.

"Yes, like some frogs, but I've bred these insects to be able to eat through anything. So just as I was realizing this, the walls of my lab wobbled a little. I realized that the termites were in the walls, eating any substance other than wood. Then something fell on my head and that's all I remember. I think they ate through the support beam for the oxygen tank, and it fell and hit me."

"Shit!" Raven said, angry about our situation, "There must be something they cant eat, how did you contain them?"

"I kept them in a force field containment area," he said, looking distressed. "There's nothing...wait." Mr. Baxter looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, there is one thing..."

"What?" I asked, getting worked up myself.

"I hadn't thought about this before... I was so obsessed with getting them to eat different things, that they may have mutated farther than there originally body functions. They might be unable to digest wood."

"Wood, ok that's a start," Robin said pacing back and forth. I stood up absentmindedly and looked out of the window.

"Whatever we do, lets do it quick," I said dully, "Because I don't think those civilians out there are enjoying themselves to much...."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I reeked of bug guts. We all dragged ourselves back to the tower at three in the morning. In six short hours, those hell bugs had already caused the city $34,000 worth of damage. Who knows how much it costs now.

Although all wooden structures were left untouched. So how do you stop a storm of three-foot long termites? Well we tried stomping them, burning them, electrocuting them, drowning them, and blowing them up, but there were too many.

We decided to go back to Mr. Bs suggestion of how they might croak if we got them to eat wood, but how to get them to do that? Why, we visited our very good friend Killer Moth in prison!

At first he was being a bad friend and not cooperation with us, but I took the incentive of cutting off Kittens hair if he didn't tell us. After Kitten had stopped shrieking enough for me to get my hearing back, Mr. Moth explained to us that bugs rely on their smell senses more than any other.

If it smells good, eat it. We traveled back to the city and got a five-foot wooden block. We smeared some weird bug sent stuff on the wood we had gotten from Moths layer. Then the fun began!

Swarms of termites paraded down the street to eat the delicious smelling wood. They're bodies swelled in reaction to the wood. Then they kind of exploded. Then they croaked.

The little fuckers ate so much wood; we had to change the five foot block every forty-five minutes! And more just kept coming! Eight hours of working nonstop until the last one finally kicked the bucket. Not much fun.

I fell on the sofa, numb from exhaustion and Star kind fell on top of me. And we fell asleep.

StArRy- I warned you!! I did!! I told you it was going to be a sick chapter!! Pickled penis! Oh god...

And a quick note to some of my reviewers....

boogalaga- how could you say chickens are the spawn of the devil? They're the shit man!! LOL, actually, I don't like chickens too much, I would eat them to decrease the population, but I'm vegetarian. SO YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR ME!! EAT THEM ALL!!

NavynBabyBlueSuedeShoes- I am so sorry! FF.net told me that my bio was inappropriate and made me take off your conversation!! Nooo! Maybe you could write it again, but make it PG. No, that will be stupid! It's all

BB-you're a butt head

Ice. Ice-Non it b you dat is de butt head.

Naomi- you are all butt heads.

Together- WE ARE ALL BUTTHEADS!!

See? Its stupid!

softballtitan009- Thanks for the positive feed back on the character development. I wasn't sure it was going to work, but I guess it did.

Marshmello Da Strawberry Cow- dude....your right... WHERE IS CYBORGS CLOTHES?!?! Did he just never get around to getting dressed?

Raven A. Star- Fred is very happy that you love him. But he will still have to peck you to death.