Talkin' Tools

Summary: Ginny and Hermione discuss the size of the "tools" of the men they know.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: This is dedicated to aikakone and the person who designs the Harry Potter action figures.


Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley were lounging in the Head Girl's personal chambers one evening, having a "girl talk."

"So, Harry's is eleven inches long?" Hermione asked incredulously.

"Yup," Ginny said simply. "But Remus' is only seven inches long."

"Well, I would assume that Harry's is better then," the other girl stated.

"Actually, Remus is very powerful with his. His work is, shall we say, more impressive," Ginny replied.

"Really? Remus is that good?"

"Oh, yes," Ginny answered, "he's incredible with his. At first I was a little skeptical. I mean, it's much smaller than Harry's." She paused to take a sip of pumpkin juice. "But once he showed me what he can do with it, I was rendered speechless."

"Are you serious?" Hermione gasped.

"Oh, definitely," Ginny said. "I always knew Remus was a powerful wizard, but I had no idea just howâ€erâ€powerful he is."

"Perhaps because he's older and has more experience with his," Hermione surmised.

"Perhaps," Ginny said absently twirling her hair.

"So when did he show it to you?" Hermione asked her.

"This summer, in his room at Grimmauld Place," she answered. "Of course, I've seen lots of them, you know. I have six brothers after all. Plus, I've seen Harry's loads of times."

Hermione nodded. "So have I. He loves showing that thing off."

"See, that's what I like about Remus. He's very shy about his. He doesn't flaunt it aboutâ€though after seeing it in action, I think he should."

"I wouldn't mind seeing that!" exclaimed Hermione.

"Well, he won't show it to you. He doesn't like to. I mean, he'll use it when the time calls for it, but he says I'm the only girl who's seen it in a long time," Ginny said.

"So what did it look like?"

"Hermione, you've seen them before. They all look basically the same, just a bit different for its owner," Ginny said, exasperated. "But Remus' is very nice, I can tell you that much."

"Did he let you touch it?"

"Oh, yes," Ginny answered, a funny smile on her face. "Not too hard, though, so as not to scratch it."

"But he's so much older. Surely it must have a few scratches on it," Hermione replied.

"Actually, it's pretty smooth. Remus must take good care of it."

"What did it feel like?" asked Hermione.

"Well, it feels what they all feel like. It was hard and sleek and looked like it definitely belonged to Remus," Ginny answered.

"I still don't understand how his is better than Harry's," Hermione grumbled.

"Hermione," Ginny explained, "length and size don't matter. It just has to be long enough to swish, flick, and do the job right."

"So what are you saying, Ginny?"

"Here's the bottom line," Ginny explained, "It's not the size of the wand, it's how you wave it!"