Turning Swallow
Summary:
OR, One morning, four-year-old Sasaki Kojiro remembers a life not yet lived, and decides to do something about it. History changes. SI!Sasaki Kojiro. Expect general lightheartedness, but dark topics when the time comes.
WARNINGs:
Implication of Potential Rape (Doesn't Actually Happen & Never Will)
M Rating for Murder
Unreliable Narrator
OC Character (The Only Important One Planned To Exist)
CH. 12 START
Up until three days ago, Suzue had been an innocent and happy young woman of fifteen years, with a smile always on her face. At least, that was how her parents and her friends around town described her. Nowadays, Suzue couldn't remember the last time she'd smiled a true smile. She'd faked a smile plenty of times in the last few days, especially when the bandits who captured her came near her. The ronin leader of the bandit group was a sick man, who seemed to take enjoyment from her suffering.
The last words he'd spoken to her had been chilling, saying, "Make sure to smile, girl."
The man had been resting his hand on his sword, pulling the sharp edge into vision just long enough for the afternoon sun to gleam off of it. The threat was implicit. She was to behave herself and 'smile,' lest she be punished. Fortunately, the ronin had ensured that she wasn't to be touched before she was ransomed to her uncle. Mind you, this wasn't out of kindness. When she'd been captured, she'd yelled that her merchant uncle would pay handsomely to see her unharmed. She had no such uncle, having spun up a story about how her parents and her had intended to meet with her uncle's merchant convoy on the road to Ichijodani, in celebration of them moving to their new home in the town. Suzue was lucky that she and her parents were wearing their best, and thus least threadbare, clothes on the trip to deal with the cold weather. The decent material and layers of clothing had convinced the ronin that she was actually worth something and had such an uncle. It wasn't entirely a lie though, since there was indeed a merchant convoy in the outpost they'd passed through. Hopefully, the merchant convoy's guards would be able to fend off and kill the bandits. Hopefully, she wouldn't die from cold before they arrived. Hopefully the merchant convoy would realize that by 'niece,' that meant that there was a prisoner being held captive. Hopefully, she'd be rescued. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully. It was far too many hopefully's.
Suzue shivered. To be perfectly honest with herself, Suzue was certain hope had died long ago, along with her parents. Her parents, blessed be their names, had been fairly old, Suzue having been born when both of them were nearing forty years of age. Her birth had been declared a miracle, born from her parents' constant prayers to the gods above. It seemed, then, that the gods had done all they were willing to do for their faithful. Never had her parents missed a day of prayer; they made sure to sacrifice some food with every meal, even with how poor they were. Her father's faith had allotted him enough time to get up and die standing. He'd only just risen to his fear and grabbed his weapon when he was struck down by the ax of a bandit. Her and her mother had fled immediately, upon her father's bidding, but they didn't get far before the arrows fell. Suzue's mother had grabbed her, shielding her daughter from the angry flint projectiles with her own body. Her mother died on top of her, the weight of her body trapping Suzue and preventing her from fleeing farther afield. The bandits had pulled her from under her mother and begun to grin sadistic grins, before Suzue had persuaded the ronin leader to spare her with her story.
The merchant caravan was meant to pass through this section of the forest soon, and Suzue tried to get some rest by closing her eyes. The nights were so cold that the bandits kept the fire blazing at full strength and slept around it, but Suzue had been left on the outskirts, away from the fire. Not only did it keep her weak, but sapped her of the will to muster up much defiance whenever they tried to touch her. They couldn't actually do anything to her, but the hands and looks she'd received made her gag. The afternoon sun was directly above, shining down on the forest, and Suzue took in the little warmth the sun provided. Then, a loud whistle broke the silence of the forest clearing. The sound was a shrill thing, ear-piercing and annoying in all the wrong ways, but that was why it was so effective. The five men that weren't on lookout for the merchant convoy leapt up, grabbed their weapons, and stormed out of the woods.
This was her chance! Suzue twisted and turned, trying to pull herself from her bindings, but failed. The only thing she got from her efforts were bruised wrists and sore arms. She paused, took a deep breath, and tried again, yanking over and over again at her ropes. Then, the screaming started. That could only mean one thing. The merchants had arrived and that combat had started. There were two options: either there was actual battle or there would just be another slaughtering by the bandits. Neither option was good. If the bandits won the battle, when they returned, they'd be angry. Who knows what they would do if some of their men died? If the bandits just slaughtered the convoy, then she had no more protection and was at risk. She yanked and pulled harder. The screaming stopped, and Suzue stopped. The battle was over, and the winners would be returning. Suzue braced herself mentally for abuse, only to hear a single set of footprints coming towards her. Had only a single bandit survived? If the bandit wanted to rape her, she could kill a single man, right?
To her shock, the figure that entered the clearing was just a small boy. She tried to call out to him through the gag, but failed, voice too muffled. In spite of this though, her wiggling seemed to have caught the attention of the boy, and he walked over. He stopped in front of her, stepping out of the afternoon sunlight and into the shade, where she got her first good look at him. The boy wielded a sword nearly as tall as she was, certainly, it was taller than the boy himself. As the boy came to a stop in front of her, she started in shock at his features. His hair had been slicked back with something dark and wet, and it was only when Suzue looked down at his clothes that she realized that the boy was covered in blood. Yet, none of his clothes were ripped and he walked normally. That meant that the boy had killed the bandits? All of them? Even as the thought went through her head, she felt it was strange. Then she looked into his eyes, and saw the sheer absence of emotion within them. It was like she was looking at the face of a beautiful puppet, rather than a human child. It was like someone had imagined a handsome boy but forgot to color it in with emotions. With the blade on his shoulder, only a single question came to mind when she was unbound and ungagged.
In a weak tone she asked, "Are you a demon?"
He looked the very picture of the demons her mother often told her at night, the stories of oni with their red skin, horns, and swords. Certainly, even the lack of colored skin and horns could be explained. Old enough oni were said to gain magic powers. Had she traded a set of cruel human captors for an inhuman one? The way his eyes seemed to stare through her certainly seemed to say so. He looked at her like she wasn't human, like she was somehow lesser than him. His eyes locked onto hers, and Suzue shrunk back.
The demon boy asked a question, eyes the shade of cold metal staring into her soul, asking her, "What's your name, girl?"
In a low and frightened tone, she replied, "I-It's Suzue, my lord."
The thing looked at her again, before asking, "Where are your parents?"
She winced, the question breaking through the wall that held the memories of her parent's death at bay. She shivered, not just from fear or cold, but due to the sudden starkness with which she now saw the world. Somehow, it was darker now. Her parents were dead, cut down by men, and soon, she'd be too, cut down by this demon in the guise of a child. The boy's grip on her arms was almost painful, and brought her back to reality.
Suzue, trying not to be overcome by sorrow, whispered,"They're dead, my lord."
The boy cursed, and for the first time, seemed to actually look at her. Not through her or at her soul, but at her. There was something violently invasive about that gaze, as if her every fiber of being was being stared at and examined. The boy's gaze sharpened, and Suzue was prepared to accept her end. Then, the boy did something very human, cursing like her father used to, whenever he stubbed his foot against the table. The boy's voice filled the clearing, low and rough, and Suzue's attention was dragged to him again. Those demonic eyes softened a little, before the hard lines softened completely, and in front of her stood someone she could recognize as a child. If not for the sword and blood that he wore like a second skin, she might've been blindsided by the change. He reached a hand out to her and pulled her to her feet and into an embrace. Now that she was standing, she towered about a head over him, but when he looked at her, she still felt small. There was something about his presence that drew the eye.
The boy spoke gently, saying, "You said your name was Suzue, yes? You may call me Sasaki Kojiro. Until you are somewhere safe, I will protect you."
Against her will, Suzue's heart skipped a beat. The sheer confidence in the boy's voice reminded her of another, an old samurai who'd lived in the house next to her parent's own. He was an experienced man, well traveled, and this boy, Sasaki Kojiro, moved like he did. Like a predator. Like a creature who knew that it was the apex of the forest. The boy was a samurai too, Suzue realized, a wealthy one too, if the sword and silken clothes were anything to go by. Even at the tender age he looked when his face wasn't set in a stone-cold expression, he'd made something of himself, was a warrior. He had a last name and was of such a noble samurai class. Suzue was none of that.
She could do nothing but reply, muttering, "Yes, my lord. In Ono."
Sasaki-sama, for she had to be aware of and acknowledge the difference between them, nodded, saying, "Good. I will escort you there. Can you rise? We'll need to make our way to an outpost before we can requisition horses."
'We?' Suzue wondered, nodding absently. She tried to rise, but her legs, abused over three days, failed her, and she stumbled. The samurai caught her as she fell, and in spite of her being so much taller than him, she felt safe in his arms. It was the muscle, she realized. The boy's arms were muscled like her father, thick from years of effort and toil. There was a look of concern on his face that seemed far too human for the boy, but she appreciated it nonetheless. She took a few weary steps, before she nodded to the boy and he stopped supporting her. She made it a few steps on her own, before the boy had to catch her again. The cold air breezed past and she shivered, before a movement from the side caught her attention. The boy had pulled out an article of clothing from his side pouch. It was an elegant kimono, which he handed to her without a second thought. It was then she realized that somewhere along the way the way he looked at her had changed. His eyes softened whenever he looked at her after cautiously surveying the surroundings. His eyes didn't see through her, they saw her. The boy had looked at her like she was real. What had changed? Her mind darted back, looking over conversation, until she realized the catalyst of the change.
'My parents are dead,' she remembered saying, and how she watched the boy's expression change. Ah. That was it. He saw a kindred spirit then? Her own expression and suspicions softened. The child had just hardened himself to deal with having a poor childhood. No wonder.
The boy shoved the clothing into her hands, gruffly ordering her, saying, "Put it on. I didn't save you only to have you getting sick and dying."
Despite his cold words, the actions of the samurai and the trace of concern in his eyes gave his true intentions away. Suzue felt warmth again, sparking deep within her chest, unrelated to her new apparel. The thickness and quality of the material helped to block out the physical cold too.
A teasing smile crossed her face and she whispered, "My thanks, Sasaki-sama."
Unconsciously, the way she addressed him had changed. Sasaki-sama turned to look at her with a confused innocence, missing the intent behind the phrase. She chastised herself, the boy was still a child, even if he was a killer. Suzue smiled wryly. How desperate for emotional support was she that she'd even considered doing that with a child?
Then, Sasaki-sama took her into the open, onto the road, where she saw what had been done to the men who'd held her prisoner. Their bodies were scattered about the place. Most of them were missing limbs or had been mutilated in some way. Most were still alive. The moment they spotted the samurai next to her, they froze and Suzue felt a righteous glee rise up in her. Her parents had been avenged. Then the moment passed, and Suzue felt sick. These were fellow people, and something within her roiled at the sight and the emotion. Sasaki-sama looked at her again, and she realized something. The person staring back at her wasn't a boy or a demon. There was no innocence in those eyes. She'd been mistaken. Sasaki-sama's eyes were confused, yes, but only as to what she was trying to accomplish. Though Suzue had been looking into a boy's eyes, a man was staring back.
"Do…you want to finish them off?" Sasaki-sama asked.
Sasaki Kojiro stared into her eyes and Suzue found herself at a crossroads as she struggled to find an answer to the question that he had spoken.
The samurai looked at her, before nodding once. The gesture helped Suzue to stabilize herself. Sasaki-sama was kind enough to offer her the opportunity. After all, it wasn't really revenge unless she did it herself, right? She nodded to the samurai, and she watched as he walked to the corpse of the ronin, before stealing his sword and sheath, before cleaning both of them off on the man's clothes. He handed the pair to her, then led her to a bandit, the one who harassed her the most. He was missing his entire arm, slowly but surely bleeding out, even with the injury covered by mud.
He recognized her too, by the look of him; he growled, snarling, "Ha! A weak girl like you? The boy is able, but you? If you cut me down, my ghost will haunt you for eternity."
Inadvertently, she flinched away, and Sasaki-sama frowned. The sight sent a note of despair into her soul and she lashed out against it, yanking the sword from its sheath and swinging it at the man haphazardly. The blade bit into his good arm, cutting muscle. He screamed in pain. The sound filled her ears, ringing and echoing, until Sasaki-sama stepped behind her.
With steel in his voice, he commanded her, "Don't close your eyes, Suzue. Look when you swing."
He grabbed her arms from behind, and Suzue shivered at the sensation, a good shiver. He pressed himself against her and guided her movements from behind, forcing her to tighten her grip on the sword's hilt. He pushed both of her hands onto it and made her grab it properly, before showing her the proper cutting motion.
Sasaki-sama's voice entered her ear and Suzue thought he was about to reassure her, but instead, the man whispered, "These men are the lowest of scum. They killed your parents, no? Who knows how many more they would kill if they could? Avenge yourself."
The samurai stepped back, and Suzue took a deep breath before swinging, cutting into the man's neck, lodging the blade midway through. Futilely, driven by fevor, she tried to push the blade through, but Sasaki-sama stopped her.
"He's already dead," the samurai said, "no need to brutalize the body."
Suzue only managed to execute one more bandit before her body rebelled, doubling her over and forcing her to dry-heave. Sasaki-sama touched her back reassuringly, holding her tight, the very actions silencing the screams that still rang in her ears. Warmth filled her soul. She made to give back the sword, but the samurai shook his head and told her to keep it. Looking at the gleaming blade, she intuitively knew that it was more valuable than any amount of money her father could earn, even if he worked everyday for years. With Sasaki-sama's help, a sash secured the blade tightly to her waist. Her heart warmed again, and she grinned brightly at Sasaki-sama, comforting herself with the fact that she'd only killed criminals. Just then, the merchant convoy came into sight, just on time. Sasaki-sama waved it down, the merchants slowing to a halt and the armed guards beginning to ready their weapons. She made to speak, until Sasaki-dono pulled something from his side, waving it in the air. Immediately, the merchant's guard lowered their weapons, and smiles bloomed on their faces.
The bodies were efficiently piled into an empty wagon, formerly used as transport for the merchant and his son to ride in. Sasaki-sama had pulled her into another wagon, seating her next to him and he grasped her hand tightly to reassure her that everything was going to be alright. Against her wishes, the merchant convoy pulled into the outpost town quickly. Her samurai was given a bounty for the heads of the bandits and he gave about half of it to the merchants, in exchange for a horse and the merchant delivering a letter. A good horse was worth far more than the money, not to mention the letter delivery, but the merchant had agreed to the deal wholeheartedly. The other half he'd given to her, as an 'apology for arriving too late.' Sasaki-sama saddled the horse, getting onto it before helping her onto it and riding into Ono, right before nightfall. He met with the mayor, who also fell over himself to provide aid, and was shown Suzue's old home. For a moment, she felt embarrassed, and she apologized for it, but her samurai didn't seem bothered, instead smiling gently and waving her concerns off. Another bit of warmth filled her. She watched as Sasaki-sama dismissed the mayor politely, before placing his bags on the table and asking if he could stay the night. She nodded, guiding him to a room before excusing herself from the house.
The old samurai caught her at the gate, greeting her.
"Suzue," old samurai grunted, "do you know who just entered your house?"
Suzue nodded, answering, "A samurai. Wealthy and skilled too, He saved me. I owe him my life."
The old samurai laughed, replying, "Not just that. Somehow, you've caught the attention of one of the heirs of the Toda Clan. The badge he was flashing around denotes his status. I'll be straightforward, as a favor to your parents. You have an opportunity here."
Suzue looked at the old samurai, before asking, "Opportunity?"
The old samurai snorted, "You've stumbled upon gold and don't even know it. You've gained the boy's favor, somehow. The sword on your waist is enough to buy the town if sold. Stay with him. Whatever you've done to charm him, keep doing it."
His part spoken, the old samurai turned and left, slipping into his house. His words echoed loudly in her head. Stay with him? Was she even worthy? She didn't even know how to read or write, was without a last name. The answer was no, but her samurai must've seen something in her to give her such an expensive blade, right? She'd do her best to fulfill his expectations. Her decision was reinforced when she entered the home to find it cold and empty. Her parents had been murdered. Sasaki-sama had helped her avenge them. If she stayed in this town she'd eventually get married to an ordinary man, before perhaps pawning the sword off for a tenth of its price. This place held nothing for her but grief, she decided. There was everything to gain from going with Sasaki-sama. A companion, the status that came with being by his side, and most of all, the heat that bloomed in her cheeks and her chest when she thought about him.
Boldly, she entered his room, only to find him shirtless. She flushed, squeaking in embarrassment.
Her samurai looked at her curiously, saying, "Is something the matter, Suzue?"
She nodded, carefully stating, "If you would allow it, I ask that I be allowed to join you on your journey."
Sasaki-sama looked at her intently and she met his stare. She responded to the unasked question.
Suzue related to Sasaki-sama her truest feeling, answering, "There's nothing left here for me."
Sasaki-sama nodded, accepting her answer, saying, "Very well then. We'll stay here for a few days. My clothes are stained with blood and you need new garments, anyways."
Suzue hugged him.
A/N:
Suzue is, purposely, a bit cray-cray here (read: unreliable). She's been through some trauma and latches onto Kojiro as a result of this. She will get much better, in later chapters. Mental health is the best fetish, lmao.
