Turning Swallow

Summary:

OR, One morning, four-year-old Sasaki Kojiro remembers a life not yet lived, and decides to do something about it. History changes. SI!Sasaki Kojiro. Expect general lightheartedness, but dark topics when the time comes.

CH. 13 START

The next morning, Kojiro woke up with a yawn, lazily stretching his arms over his head as the fogginess of sleep left his head. He rose rather enthusiastically, eager to restart his training regime. He'd barely had any chances to practice with in, busy as he was grieving over Seigen, then preparing to leave Ichijodani. He rose from the floor with silent grace, tied his sword to his side, before going to look for a place to clean himself off. Eventually, he located a well in the backyard of the house, filling it and using the water to clean himself. While he was at it, he removed the bloody outfit he was wearing, before changing into a set of equally expensive clothing. Kagemasa really had gone all out with the supply pack. He brought the bucket inside, leaving it on the table, before stepping back into the room where he'd been sleeping.

The floor creaked as he stepped into the doorway of the small room, and Suzue groaned irritably, saying, "Mother, it's too early to be up. Let me sleep."

He winced at the words. The girl's current circumstances weren't exactly ideal. Mere days ago, her parents had been murdered, before she herself had been taken prisoner by a group of bandits. Worse still, he could see the signs of post-traumatic stress disorder in her, in the way that she seemed to zone out before breaking out into a cold sweat, when she wasn't talking to him. Fortunately, Kojiro could see no signs of obvious sexual abuse, no marks anywhere visible, nor did she flinch away from him, like he supposed a victim would have. Kojiro had made sure to ask the mayor to send some of his men to retrieve the bodies of Suzue's parents, or at least, as much as they could. With the time that had passed, Kojiro knew that the animals might've already gotten to them. What was left, if anything was found, was to be buried underneath two gravestones that Kojiro had ordered to be made. The mayor had eagerly agreed to the demands, once he'd flashed the mayor two strings of mon in order to pay for his efforts. He had had to make sure that the man wouldn't skimp on the work either, given that he was allowing the man to keep the leftover money. For the mayor of a small town, the promise of such a sum was enough for him to live like a samurai for at least a week.

Honestly, Kojiro could relate and sympathize with the girl's loss. His other self had lost his parents, and in this life he had none. Having experienced both sides, he was confident in saying that having and losing loving parents was worse than never having them at all. It was like a fresh and bleeding wound, versus a scar that was old and numb.

He spoke loudly, waking the girl from her sleep, saying, "Suzue, wake up."

The sound of his voice so close to her seemed to shear the cobwebs of slumber from her mind and she shot up, eyes darting about until she saw him.

Suzue blinked at Kojiro nervously, saying, "Sasaki-sama. Good morning. I hope my home has allowed you a good night's rest."

He nodded at her, replying, "It has served well enough. My thanks. Rise now. If you are to journey with me, I would require you to be able to defend yourself."

She made to get up from the floor, moving rapidly until the cold air washed upon her formerly warm and blanket-covered form. Her hand shot to pull the blanket back up, before she looked at him, before hesitantly moving her hand back to her side and pushing herself up. Despite her body language screaming that she wanted nothing more than to lie back down, she seemed to take no small amount of courage from his presence, using that courage to rise from the bed. Internally, Kojiro grimaced, for Suzue seemed far too eager to please him. It had been fine during the danger, but now that it'd passed, he'd begun to suspect that Suzue had latched onto him for mental and emotional support. He hadn't even frowned when she had reached for that blanket. He'd just had a neutral expression on his face.

She followed him out of the room when he left it, into the house's common area. He gestured at the bucket, telling her to clean herself. Her blade had been left on the table too, which was a bad habit, considering that you needed to keep your sword near you at all times, in case of danger.

He warned her of this, saying, "A samurai must keep their blade near them at all times. From now on, never let it beyond your arm's reach, especially not so far away from where you sleep."

Suzue flinched at the words, taking the warning far too seriously. Her previously joyful mood had immediately changed into a subtle sorrow. Really, Suzue was far too volatile for her own good. When Kojiro recalled the past day, that seemed to have always been the case. She lit up when he was near her or showed her approval, but seemed to dim when he wasn't paying attention to her. The fact that she looked for his approval might've been appealing to a lesser man, but he was Japanese. There were so many stories of obsessed women turning into vengeful spirits. Kojiro shivered, before trying to put that thought out of his mind. Beyond that, it didn't sit right to take advantage of someone so obviously messed up. He shook himself from his thoughts, leaving Suzue to clean herself up.

The cold air of the morning hit him in the face again and Kojiro took it in with a grin. It was refreshing. The grin turned into a chuckle when Suzue stumbled outside and yelped, the droplets of water still on her face immediately chilling. When she was like this, Kojiro supposed that she was attractive enough. A smile certainly looked better on her than a frown did. Most of all, it gave him some hope that Suzue could still adjust back to some form of normality. As much as he felt sorry for her, he really couldn't take someone that emotionally compromised with him. He was a samurai, not a babysitter, at the end of the day.

Kojiro looked directly at Suzue, intent on communicating this concept as clearly as possible.

He spoke in a way that was hard to misunderstand, saying, "Suzue. I expect much from you. If you are to journey with me, nothing less that your utmost effort will be accepted. You will not be a burden, for I have no need of burdens, understand?"

It sounded cruel, but reality was cruel. Reality was the thing that took away a girl's parents before she was even fully mature and got her kidnapped by bandits. The reality that his other self had known was a gentle reality, edge softened by the benefits of modern technology. Personal power came first and foremost in this era. Without personal power, be it political or physical or even spiritual, one couldn't fend for themselves in reality. Without power, you could only resign yourself to be the tool of another. This was one of the main things that Seigen had emphasized in his political lessons.

Suzue nodded eagerly in answer to his words, and in spite of how he'd spoken them, Kojiro still felt that the girl had misunderstood something. He ignored it, given that whatever caused that feeling wasn't going to be relevant right now. What was important was turning Suzue from 'cannon fodder' or 'damsel-in-distress' to 'novice swordswoman' and 'not-in-danger-of-stabbing-herself' as soon as he could.

Kojiro looked at the young woman before speaking again, and telling her, "It's good that you understand. You can get started by running until I tell you to stop."

Puzzled, Suzue glanced at him, asking, "Run?"

Kojiro laughed at the expression of confusion. It had been so similar to his own when after telling Seigen about his then-current training schedule, the old man had commanded him to double it. See, Seigen had deemed his exercises efficient enough. What Seigen hadn't deemed sufficient was the intensity. He had been pushing himself, yes, but not hard enough. Seigen had spoken a phrase uttered by warriors across the world, being 'a gallon of sweat saves you a drop of blood.' It wasn't enough to simply exercise enough. You had to constantly push yourself and break your own limits to improve. Even after all he'd been through, Seigen had told him, on his first proper battle, he'd wished to have trained more. Kojiro believed his Father when the old man talked like that. Kojiro grinned the same grin that Seigen had smiled all those years ago, an unfriendly and vicious thing, and Suzue gulped.

"Run first," Kojiro ordered, "and we can speak later."

Helpless, Suzue ran. She ran one lap around the small backyard of her house, then another, and one more. The whole effort took perhaps no more than two minutes. She slowed to look at him, but Kojiro just smiled and shook his head. Suzue continued to run, making another three laps, before looking back at him again. He only yelled at her to run faster. She did so, completing six more laps in a continuous burst of effort. With twelve laps done, the girl was looking winded, but Kojiro just grinned and shook his head. Suzue finished another three, before she was panting. Already, he could tell she'd just run more than she'd ever run before. Her hands were on her knees and Suzue was breathing heavily.

Kojiro squatted down by her exhausted form and said, ""Fifteen more.

Suzue's face paled and she made to protest, but Kojiro cut her protest off, saying in a sharp tone, "Who are you to journey with me if you cannot do even this?"

The words were callous, and from the look upon Suzue's face, rather hurtful, but a stubborn pride rose upon within her, and Suzue glared at him. Kojiro just smiled, happy to see that spark of anger flare up within her. That meant that the experience hadn't completely broken her down. From what remained, Kojiro would make something of the girl that he'd saved. Since he'd pulled her from the depths of hell, he had a duty to escort her to heaven. As the more spiritual would say, he'd interwoven his karma with hers and now had to deal with the consequences. Exteriorly, all he did was raise a questioning eyebrow. The girl took that as a challenge, and she clambered to her feet, likely insulting him mentally, and began running again. She made it five laps of stubborn pride, and when she began to flag, his raised eyebrow sparked anger. The last ten were finished off out of spite. Everytime she looked at him, Suzue seemed to find another source of hidden strength with which to keep moving.

She collapsed to the floor in front of him, borrowed clothing completely soaked through with sweat, and gasping for air.

In between desperate breaths, she ground out the words, "There, Sasaki-sama. I'm done. What next?"

She looked at him as if daring him to assign her any more running, but fulfilling those expectations, he picked her up and carried her into the house. He handed a spare set of clothes to her, as well as a rag with which to wipe herself down, before leaving the room. He reentered when she reported that she was done with a cup of cold water.

He asked, "How are you feeling?"

Suzue took a moment, taken aback by the nonchalance of his speech and hissed in accusation, "I'm sore and tired because of you.?"

There was a certain amount of betrayal in her brow, the girl likely feeling that she'd been forced to run for nothing more than his own amusement.

"I'm proud of you." Kojiro said.

Suzue froze at the non-sequitur, before flushing and asking for an explanation. He'd played the hardass, now he needed to be supportive.

"I am proud," he said again, interrupting what was likely a rapid internal monologue, "because you've proven something to me that you have yet to realize."

Kojiro had to spell this out for her, since she wasn't of samurai upbringing and didn't understand the traditions and nuances of the practice.

He explained bluntly, "You've proven to me that you are strong. Not physically, but mentally. I can forge a samurai's body, but not her mind. I'm sure that after three laps, you felt a little tired. I'm more sure that at six laps you wanted to stop because your muscles were burning. At nine, I'm certain you were flagging, and at fifteen, I'm certain that you felt completely exhausted. And yet, despite this exhaustion, you managed to pull yourself up and force out another fifteen laps. You are strong. Your will is iron. I will make your body the same."

This was the only type of comfort that Kojiro could offer to Suzue, was willing to offer to her, because it was the only 'true' comfort. If he had said 'don't worry, I'll protect you,' he'd be a liar. He couldn't always be there for her, couldn't stay by her side night and day, not that he'd even want to. He didn't want a damsel to save, but a partner. It was a cold comfort, but this was the type of comfort that Suzue actually needed. The anger she'd directed at him reassured him that she'd been simply grasping onto the only salvation she could. What she had to learn was that she couldn't always rely on him and understand that she was capable of saving herself. Suzue couldn't do that if she idolized his every action.

He placed a comforting hand on her head, ruffling her hair as Seigen liked to do. He'd never really been responsible for the physical and emotional wellbeing of another human before, even in his other life, so he was pulling all of his inspiration from Seigen. On that note, it was time for a more personal assurance. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, keeping his grip loose of purpose, and embraced her. She stiffened at the contact, before her own arms wrapped around him and she buried her head into his shoulder. She held him there, breathing heavily, then began to sob. Suzue held him like a drowning man would a rope, her tears soaking into his clothing. He let her cry, and bore witness to Suzue vent her grievances with her sobs and cries and tears. He stayed silent through all of it, simply rubbing her shoulders in a soothing manner and holding her tightly. She fell asleep like that, and Kojiro untangled himself from the tight grip her held on her. He pulled a blanket over her curled up form before rising and stepping outside once more. It was still early, given that the rooster had crowed some time into Suzue's running.

From the entrance of the house, he felt a presence lock its attention onto him, and he whipped around, only to see an old samurai with tired looking eyes looking at him from a small house to the left. His history was evident, given the sword around the man's waist and his posture. He approached the man, making sure to close the door behind him, and stepped forwards to speak to his observer.

He tapped his sword to reassure himself, before going over to greet the man.

The old man spoke first, asking, "What is it that you intend with that girl?"

The concern in the man's voice was palatable so Kojiro didn't really take offense, just looked at him.

Kojiro shrugged, noting wryly, "Given the way she's been acting, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the one in danger."

The other samurai glared at him, growling animalistically, "Explain yourself."

He didn't really mind, given the man's apparent care of Suzue. He stepped towards the man and the man stepped back. Kojiro stepped back again and the other samurai retreated, eyes glancing around.

Kojiro spoke, "I intend to build her up. Make something of her, given her will. Does that satisfy you, Tanuki?"

The old man's eyes widened, and the illusion vanished, a small furred creature fleeing into the old samurai's house. As he stared at the windows, a pair of eyes gleamed at him from the interior of the house. It really did pay to be genre-savvy, no? If Kojiro had lacked the memories of his other self, he might not have questioned the old samurai's actions. However, Suzue had said that she had no one left, only a home, hadn't mentioned an old samurai as anyone important to her, and yet, here was the samurai, all but threatening him. That implied some sort of care or obsession. Had it been a human man with an obsession…well, Kojiro had his sword for a reason. The crux of the matter was when he'd asked the mayor about the important people in town, the mayor had told him of no samurai living here. Even if the samurai was unimportant, it was customary for samurai or samurai proxies to warn one another of their presence, just in case a sudden appearance was taken as an attack. Either the mayor wanted him dead, which was unlikely, or there was something going on. It reeked of the legends he'd learned about in his other life. The supernatural truly was just right around the corner, huh? Even this little town had such a creature.

The tanuki ducked away, and Kojiro called out to it, saying, "Don't worry about the girl, she's safe with me. No need to repay Suzue any longer. If you really feel the need to, why not leave some of that magic behind for her?"

The old samurai's voice echoed out, saying, "Leave."

Kojiro laughed again, turning away. That solved one issue. The next was getting Suzue a solid foundation. Then, Kyoto. Soon, he could finally begin to make progress.