Special Thanks: Lillian Dashwood who edited this chapter.


A Ghost Tale

Chapter Two

- Spiritual Bond

Pip Bernadette was not having what people call a good day. Far from it. Within the last few hours, he had been attacked by nut fancying squirrels (those kind of nuts, no less), tree branches, groping mist and glowing skulls. This little escapade to a 'peaceful' spot ended turned into a nightmare and now he was forced to examine his very naked subordinate. It could have been the vampire girl or the boss, but no, it had to be hairy, fat Jim. He was starting to think that shattering the mirror of Integral's Rolls Royce when he had carelessly parked his jeep the other day had brought him seven years of bad luck.

Sighing, Pip knelt beside Jim, taking a darting glance at other man's nether zones. From the little he had seen, apart from the lack of clothes, the unconscious Wild Goose was aroused… His tool exhibited full size.

"Take off your coat, Captain!" Seras's voice distracted him.

"This is hardly the time for strip tease, but if you insist…"

"It's not that, pervert!" He didn't need to turn and watch her to know that the vampire was probably blushing scarlet. "Jim must cold!"

And he was, Pip could see that his arms were trembling and his lips were blue. Grumbling, the Captain unzipped his jacket to cover his soldier's most delicate… parts. Well, hell, he was cold too. They better hurry and return to the camp already.

"Fine, fine. Wait… how did you know he was shakin'? Did you peek, Sergeant?"

A tiny rock made contact with the back of his head, followed by Seras's reply of "I heard his teeth clacking, prat."

Even though it was of small size, the strength with which the she'd thrown the stone was enough to knock Pip over Jim. Shit, that girl should mind her movements, she was a walking demolition machine with curves.

Cursing, Pip rose, supporting himself with both hands. Strange, the soil was slimy to the touch… like with jelly. Pip lifted his good eye's brow and looked down his hands, curious about what could possibly cause that. Ignorance was bliss in this case. The substance wasn't jell-o. Instead the grass was covered in Jim's fluids.

"Shit! Fuck, Jim! What the hell you were doin' here?!" Pip growled in disgust, cleaning his hands in the cloth over Jim. This was not a good sign-as if the snapping craniums had not given Pip a clue- even if the Wild Geese were far from being saints, this behaviour was crossing the line. Jim better have a good explanation.

"Seras, see if you can find his clothes. I only have his bandana."

Her sight was far superior to his because she was a vampire and possessed both eyes.

"Okay, Captain." Seras couldn't hide her giggle. He figured out that her nostrils caught the arousal scent and she knew what happened. Jesus, this was getting better and better.

When Pip was about to join the quest, a noise caught his attention. It sounded like a stick of wood being crushed by clumsy feet. Light footsteps over the dry mantle of leaves on the ground came right after that. Someone was getting closer and closer. His eye narrowed, and he decided to investigate.

"Captain? D-did you hear that?"

There was a small quiver in Seras's tone that made him pause. How come a vampire could be scared?

I suppose she's a special one for good or evil. He thought about Seras, she was different of what monsters were supposed to be. Despite her fangs and strength, he couldn't bring himself to think her of a vampire.

There was the sweet temptation of playing gallant knight in order to win a grope or two but… there was something mesmering of how the fog gathered, it was like fathom fingers caressing his chin, urging to advance.

"Captain!"

"Stay here, Sergeant. Look after Jim and try to find his clothes," Pip replied, his eyelid half closed while he stepped forward, towards the brushes. "I'll check out what that was," he remarked, holding his handgun high so Seras wouldn't worry as much.

If Seras replied or no, Pip didn't know. He was enthralled. His feet kept walking of their own accord, his mind losing all sense of time and place until he arrived at what appeared to be a small pool. Someone was standing on the middle of it. He shone his flashlight at the figure.

It was a young looking woman, attempting to come out of the water. She was beautiful, with pointy aristocratic features, curly, blonde hair and blue eyes. Also she was very odd. Her hair was tied in a ribbon in a very antique style. His grandmother used to fix it like that. The same with the her outfit. She was wearing a conservative tailored green suit, with a skirt below her knees, a hideous hat on the top of her head and a pearl necklace around her throat.

"Miss?"

The woman smiled at him, extending her arms. Her stern features turned enigmatic and seductive.

"Help me out of the pond, please good sir…" the woman spoke. Her voice was hypnotic, and he was moving again without thinking, wishing to touch her, to wrap her between his arms, to…

Pip stopped, staring at her bosom. It was alright but not impressive. No woman of his dreams would wear less than a D cup. It was in that moment that he figured out something must be extremely wrong. For the tenth time in that night.

"What's wrong? I'm not pretty enough?" she asked, frowning at his hesitation.

Pip laughed, scratching the back of his head, trying to buy himself some time. "No, no… you're hot, just not my type… If only your boobs were bigger, I'd…"

The back of a hand connected with his cheek, forcing him to step back, his head twisted slightly. For a bird, she had a mean right hook. Women these days. And they called men abusive gits. The slap caught him off guard, and slipping on the liquid surface, Pip tripped and fell, splashing at the woman.

The 'water' was thick, more like oil, certainly not from a clean source of water. Pip tasted it's metallic flavour and realised what it really was. Blood. It was a pond of blood. The mercenary tried to stand, hopelessly swinging his arms. He started to choke, losing conscience quickly. The last thing he heard was a female shriek and delicate arms wrapping him, pulling him out of the crimson doom.

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Where I am?

Pip looked around, trying to decipher were the devil he was. The sun was up, its light caressing the green leaves of Epping Forest.

Wait… it's autumn… it shouldn't be this green.

The mercenary gave a small shrug, deciding that after the spooky things that happened that night, this one wasn't worse.

"Come out from where you are, Richard! Lionel!"

Pip froze recognizing that voice, the very same that had attacked him earlier. Hiding between the trees, he spied on the woman. From appearances, he could tell that she was looking for someone, walking the same path he followed The vision distorted, the forest

turned dark, unwelcoming. He felt a pang of anxiety. From the distance he could hear anguish screams for help. He ran in that direction. Unfortunally, Pip hit his forehead with a low branch that he didn't see in his path.

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"Pip, wake up!"

Pip lifted his eyelids heavily, like it weighted several tons. Still confused, his gaze fell on Seras, who was shaking his shoulder.

"Seras, if you continue to shake me, I'm goin' to puke my lunch on you."

Seras stopped, smiling in relief before shooting a quick glare.

"You're welcome, Captain," Seras said, offended by his ungrateful words, whilst standing.

Pip rolled his eye, she was so sensitive. Women. Jim stepped forward, and Pip was glad his mate had taken the time to dress and clean his mess.

"Hey, Pip… listen… I'm sorry about before but…" Jim started nervously, "I… lost all track of time when that chick appeared from nowhere. I couldn't resist her."

Pip folded his arms, noticing that he was soaked in dried blood. Old blood. The putrid smell filled his nostrils, and he wrinkled his nose.

"Save it. I met the bloody bitch too. It's time to return to the camp, we should contact the boss there," he ordered while he tried to stand, but lost balance completely. Jim caught him before he collapsed.

"You ok, Cap?"

"My ankle," Pip winced, feeling a throbbing pain in his left foot. "I think I twisted it when I tried to escape from the pond."

"Hold onto me, Pip, I'll help you," Jim offered, sliding one of Pip's arms over his shoulders.

"There's no time for that," Seras said, tossing Jim her flashlight. "Whatever attacked the Captain, it's out there. I'll carry him. It will be faster."

Jim nodded, winking a Pip's direction. "You're lucky, mate."

Seras huffed, giving Pip a warning glance. "If your hands wander lower than they should, Captain," she lifted him to her back, he weighed like a feather to the vampire. "I'll give you directly to the enemy."

"From the arms of one beautiful woman to another," Pip smirked down, resting his cheek over the top of her hair.

"She wasn't as pretty when I saw her," Seras started moving quickly, Jim followed as he could. "Her whole face appeared made of blood. The bullets went through her like she wasn't there…"

"You fired at her?"

"She was drowning you, Pip. And she wasn't alive. At least she lacked pulse."

"My hero. I should snog you for saving my arse." He puckered his lips, making kissing noises. The atmosphere was foreboding around them, and Pip tried to lighten the mood even if it came out badly.

"Keep doing that, and I'll eat you in reward. You look like a walking meal, all covered in blood."

"Eat me, Sergeant? That could have a double meaning."

"You know what I meant."

"Of course, I know. You don't drink blood, therefore I'm right and you really want me to…" His temple hit a branch, breaking it with his forehead. "You did that in purpose!"

Seras snickered, without slowing her pace for the incident. "Ooops, I was distracted. Poor tree."

Pip grumbled, "Do you know what that woman is?"

Seras shook her head, jumping a trunk on her path, her grip on Pip's legs tightened. "She's not a vampire at least," was her reply, "A ghost maybe?"

"You don't know? But you're a vampire, you must know." He curled more against her back in order of not fall for the jump.

"I'm sorry for not having a subscription to 'Supernatural Creatures Among Us'. Really, Captain, just because I'm a being of the night doesn't mean that I know much about them."

"Well… Alucard did call you the 'worst vampire in the world' for a reason. "

"I don't care what he calls me, Master isn't the best teacher of the world to be fair."

Pip snorted. He figured, the vampire was creepy and antisocial. He had rejected his offer of porn magazines, claiming that only the ones who couldn't achieve the real thing needed that! He must be an eunuch.

"Now, I have the mental image of him teaching lessons in a classroom filled with little brats."

"I don't know who I should pity more, the children or Master," Seras commented sheepishly. "Perhaps, Sir Integral could put into practice such an original punishment. But she would probably dismiss the idea, fearing Master will turn them into his evil minions."

The fog increased, worsening the visual for the mercenary, figures were drawn on the mist. Human shaped, one female one and what appeared to be two children. He could swear someone was whispering in his ear, a female voice urging him to surrender.

"You know, I had a freakish dream before you awake me. I saw the woman alive calling for someone," Pip commented, grimacing. He felt a chill on his spine, recalling the aghast scream of his nightmare.

"What? How?"

"Dunno. Maybe I'm a psychic?"

"Or you were delirious and ready for a mental asylum," Seras proposed, looking up him, hiding a fiendish grin. "Or she sent you those visions for a reason."

"Send me? Why me?"

"How am I supposed to know? Maybe she's attracted to rude, one eyed mercenaries? She's a spirit with no brains or taste. It's to be expected."

Pip tugged her hair childishly in response for his wounded, male ego. Seras dropped him to the ground without warning.

Pip yelped when he landed violently. "That's it. I'm tired of being beaten around!" he rubbed his rump. It would seem that today was 'Hit Captain Bernadette Day.'

"Ssh. Quiet, Captain. Look," Seras urged him, gesturing around. "We're here."

The camp was mounted on the well known clearing between the trees. Tends stood, smoke came out from the extinguished fire. Everything was there, even the porn magazines and finished beers spilled on the soil. But, there was no trace of the Wild Geese.

Jim stopped next to Pip, hands resting on his legs, trying to recover the breath. "Man, she surely runs fast," he muttered, noticing how empty the camp was. "Uh? Where are the guys? Lookin' fer me too?"

Pip sat on the floor, straightening his posture, using Jim's legs to support his weight. The happenings of the day were starting to affect his tired muscles.

"No, I gave orders to wait three hours!"

One thing after another. This was getting tiresome.

Seras paced around the tents, kneeling before the packs. "They didn't go to search for us," she said as she peered inside the bags. "They left all the equipment here."

"Oh perfect, this is freakin' awesome!"

"Captain…" Jim nudged him, but Pip was distracted, cursing his luck.

"Try to radio, Seras. The boss should send Alucard and get our arses out of here."

Seras picked up the radio, adjusting the syntony, minutes passed, she dropped the headphone. "Too much static, Captain. I can't communicate with them."

"God damnit!" Pip hit the ground with his fists, he was frustrated. Anger rushed on his system, no one touched his men. "We'll have to look for them as well."

"Captain," Jim insisted. "I know where they are."

"What are you talking about, Jim… This is no time for jokes."

"Captain! Look up!" Seras shouted a warn but it was too late. Lieutenant Larry Miers fell off him, squishing Pip to the ground. He was naked from head to toes.

Pip remained beneath him, eyes widened in shock by the impact. Smelling the unmistakable aroma of arousal, Larry grunted before cuddling on him, sleeping like a baby.

Fucking Hell! Not again! His face darkened in disgust. He was smeared with liquids once more.

Seras and Jim let go a laugh as Pip pushed Larry aside, attempting to recover some of his lost dignity. "I think I broke a bone and you two think is funny."

"Sorry, Captain," Jim blurted out without stopping laughing.

Rather than look down at the mess Larry had left on him, Pip looked up. The Wild Geese were hanging on the highest branches of the trees. All nude, tied with their clothes on their abdomen for them to not fall.

"It seems our lady friend kept herself busy," Seras commented, eyes on the ground, leg sweeping the dried leaves, not daring to glance to the mercenaries.

Pip was borderline hysterics. How they would get them down? They had not brought a ladder.

"Captain," one of the hung men cried out. "A little help here?"

Pip stared blankly at the display. He had the urge to pull his hair out.

"Well, Pip," Seras remarked, dropping a blanket over the unconscious Larry. "I hope your ankle is better because someone will have to climb up there and bring them down."

Pip did what people overwhelmed by the odds do to avoid developing some derangement.

He fainted.