Chapter 3
A Wolf at the Door
"So, can I come in?" Remus asked after a moment.
"Um, yeah. My mum's not home but maybe that's for the best."
"Mmmm." Remus didn't say anything more and Cassie suddenly realized that his arrival when she was alone in the house was not just a coincidence.
"Oh, you knew that, didn't you?" Remus just smiled at her and Cassie opened the door. "It's good to see you."
"You, too, Cassie. We've been worried about you." Cassie didn't respond and Remus continued. "Harry said he has owled you twice and both times Hedwig came back without a reply. Did you get his letters?"
"Yes." Cassie could feel her face flush under Remus' intense gaze. "I did want to write him back . . . but I couldn't think of anything to say."
"I see."
Cassie and Remus sat quietly for a moment. She was terribly embarrassed people felt like she had to be checked on and they had to go to all the trouble to come and see her. She wondered for a minute if he was here for some other purpose and then a horrible thought crossed her mind. "Are you here for some other reason?"
"What do you mean?"
"Did they send you to . . . finish . . . the job?" Remus drew his eyebrows together and looked at her with genuine confusion.
"Finish the job? I don't understand what you mean."
Cassie debated whether she should even say it. Maybe it would be best just to change the subject. But she wanted to know. She had a right to know. "To do the memory thing. You know, to make me forget Harry and everything."
"Ah. Well, I could. If you wished. But that's not why I came." Cassie thought for a long time and Remus didn't interrupt her. He just sat there quietly as she contemplated her options. It seemed tempting, somehow, much more now than it had in the office several days ago. She thought longingly of the release she would experience if her memory were erased. She wouldn't have to worry about dark wizards anymore because she wouldn't remember that there was such a thing. And she wouldn't have to feel lonely for Harry or (even a little) jealous of Ginny because she would never remember they even existed. But she had meant all those things she had written that morning and she hadn't changed her mind about any of it. Of course, she hadn't realized at that time how terribly vulnerable she would feel away from the school.
She turned to look at Remus. "Do you really honestly believe I'm safe here . . . that my family is safe? I've been so frightened . . . . ."
"I don't think that fear is unreasonable, considering the things you saw." A shadow passed over his face. "I wish that somehow your introduction to our world could have been a little . . . less dramatic."
"If it had been less dramatic, I never would have been introduced to your world, Remus." A faint smile was his response to that.
"To answer your question, Cassie, I'll just tell you that we have been keeping close tabs on the Death Eaters and Voldemort, as we always have done. There has been no sign that they have any interest in you or even this part of London. As far as we can tell, they are not even aware of your existence. Harry did a good job of protecting you while you were here with him and at Hogwarts. There is absolutely no reason to be frightened. I realize that this will not instantly make your worries vanish, but I hope you will at least try to . . . adjust."
"I'll try. I really will." Surprisingly enough, Cassie really did feel better. She trusted him enough and Harry enough to know that he would not just abandon her to Voldemort's gang. He would make sure she was safe - not for love necessarily but because he would feel like she was his responsibility. At the thought of Harry, Cassie asked, "How are Harry and the others doing? Are they, um, upset about things?" Cassie didn't really want to come right out and ask if they were having as hard of a time as she was, but she wondered, all the same.
Remus seemed to understand what she was not asking. "Well, Harry, Ron, and Hermione have been through several confrontations with Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Unfortunately, they have been through enough of these that, while I'm sure it affects them, it isn't to the degree it's bothered you." Cassie wasn't sure whether to feel sorry for them, or jealous of their peace of mind.
"I'm glad you came by, Remus. Talking to you has really helped. Was that honestly the only thing you stopped by for?"
"Well, basically. I thought you might have a bit of a hard time adjusting to "normal" life again. Your whole world view has shifted and it must be sort of hard to go back." She nodded in agreement.
"It's been harder than I thought. Everything looks different to me, now. Do you know the movie The Wizard of Oz?"
"Yes. It's . . . well, portrayal of witches is sort of an amusing . . . Never mind."
"I never thought of that." Cassie was pretty embarrassed that she had brought that up. It wasn't that part of the movie she had been thinking about. "Sorry. I just, I was thinking that I was kind of like Dorothy. I was dropped into a new colorful place where everything was different and then I came home to boring old Kansas again. But I wasn't really ready to leave, yet. Not like she was." She stood and walked over to the window, staring out at the street where she had lived her entire life.
"Hmm. Not a bad analogy. But don't get too caught up in it. You have a whole life to live, Cassie. And it's going to have to be lived here. And that's not a bad thing." She didn't answer him. He was right, of course. "Hey, I brought you a present."
Cassie wiped at her eyes before she turned around to face him again. "A present?"
"Yes. Here." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the biggest bar of chocolate Cassie had ever seen.
"Chocolate?" She studied the label. It looked normal enough, not like it was going to explode or anything, although she didn't recognize the brand. "I normally don't get to eat a lot of chocolate. My mum would have a fit if she saw this."
"Well, you can tell her it is strictly medicinal. Go ahead and have some. It's very good." Cassie felt it would have been rude to decline since he had brought her the present so she opened one side of the wrapper, broke off a fairly small piece and put it into her mouth.
"It's fantastic. The best I've ever had." She was amazed at the warmth and contentment that seemed to fill her as she nibbled at the chocolate in her hand. "Is this magical?"
"Isn't all chocolate?" Remus smiled as she broke off another piece, offering some to him. "No, thank you. I get enough of it. Now, I want you to eat some when you're feeling particularly depressed or upset. It'll make you feel better."
"So, it really is like medicine?"
"Yes, it is. But it's nice to take, isn't it?"
Cassie smiled as she broke off another piece and popped it into her mouth. Cassie heard the scrape of a key in the lock and the front door opened, admitting her mother and brothers. Her mother looked extremely shocked to see someone in the house she had never met and Cassie hurried to make the introductions, silently being thankful Remus had dressed in Muggle clothing for this visit. "Mum, this is Remus Lupin. He's a friend of Harry's. Well, a little more than a friend. He's sort of his guardian now, right?" Her eyes flitted to Remus for a minute for confirmation and he smiled warmly at her mother. "And, Remus, this is my mother, Rebecca Robinson."
"Mrs. Robinson. It's such a pleasure to meet you." They shook hands briefly, her mother still looking a little disconcerted at his sudden presence. "I'm sorry that I dropped by without calling or anything. I was here in town on a business matter and Harry asked me to bring something by for Cassie." He indicated the chocolate which confused her as she had gotten the impression it came from him but then he caught her eye and winked and she realized that it didn't matter.
Cassie's mum didn't look too thrilled at the huge bar of chocolate now sitting on the couch but she was too polite to say anything. "It was a great pleasure to meet Harry. Be sure to give him our best." Cassie was momentarily surprised at the rather formal tone her mother had used. Did she somehow dislike Remus or something? She wouldn't be that upset over the chocolate. Then Cassie remembered. She had told her about Harry getting together again with Ginny. Her mum probably interpreted "his gift" as an attempt to string her along. Cassie would have to discuss this with her later, but obviously in front of company was not the time or place.
"I must be going. I've got an appointment soon." Remus shook Cassie's mum's hand again and then Cassie's. "It's good to see you. I'll be sure to tell Harry that you're doing better."
"Okay. Tell him that I hope he has a wonderful summer. And that he needs to stay safe."
"I'll tell him."
"Will you come again?" Cassie's mother gave her a funny look and appeared to be fighting not to say something.
"Most likely. I get here to London quite often on business and I would love to come by again. Bring you more chocolate." Cassie laughed at that. She couldn't imagine eating all of that he had already brought in a year. "Now remember to eat that chocolate when you need a little cheering up. It'll do wonders."
"Uh, yeah, I will. And come anytime." And then he left and Cassie's mother was still standing looking very unhappy in the middle of the living room. "What's wrong, mum? You seem mad."
"I am mad, Cassie. I come home to find an older man who I don't know and whom you have never met before sitting in my house! How do you even know that he really knows Harry? Maybe he was just lying to you! Maybe he wants to hurt you or something. . . I mean, you're very vulnerable right now, I know, and someone could take advantage . . . ." Cassie could tell she was really winding up and getting herself into a frenzy.
"Mum . . . mum! Stop. You're over-reacting. He is not trying to do anything to me except check on me. Harry was worried. And he does know Harry."
"How do you know that? Even if Harry mentioned him to you that doesn't mean this man is . . ."
"Mum! Listen to me. Okay. I've met him before. With Harry."
"What? How . . . when . . .?"
"It's a long story. You're not going to be very happy with me, I'm afraid." Cassie sat down on the couch and started fooling with the decorative tassels on a throw pillow. "Something bad did happen to Harry and me when we were here alone. I didn't tell you because I . . . didn't want to frighten you." Her mother had gone very pale at this and Cassie realized the next few minutes were going to be very difficult. She would sanitize this as much as possible.
"Harry had told me a while back that he was here in London because he was in hiding. Sort of like that Witness Protection program. Some bad people are trying to kill him." Her mother nodded numbly and Cassie bit her lip. She didn't have to mention the magic if she was careful. "Anyway, when his friends came, these bad guys followed them and found Harry. And I just . . . well, I was at his house that afternoon. It was just bad luck, I guess." Her mum nodded again. "We had to hurry and leave immediately to take him back to school and he was worried that if he left me there, they would find me and hurt me."
"What sort of people are these, that would chase a boy?"
"They're criminals, mum. They don't care about his age. Anyway, so I . . . flew back to his school with them. I had to."
"You flew to Scotland? And you didn't tell me!" Her mother sounded fairly incredulous at this.
"I couldn't tell you. You . . .it was a matter of life and death." Her mother paled again and Cassie decided that was probably enough of the story for now. Maybe later she could tell her more. "Anyway, I did meet Ginny and also Remus and some of his other friends. And then, well, he had to stay and they brought me back home and . . . that's really all there was to it. It's just that . . . ."
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?" Her mother's voice was calm now and Cassie dared to glance at her. She was looking thoughtful, but not angry.
"I was afraid you'd get mad at me for . . . going." She was about to say breaking the rules. But she remembered she had glossed over the part about the sleeping at Harry's house (in his arms, no less) quite effectively and if she mentioned rule-breaking now, her mother would be suspicious.
"I'm not thrilled Cassie, but I like to think I'm a reasonable person. Harry did the right thing, taking you. Now, what's this chocolate? Her mother took a small nibble and groaned in pleasure as it melted on her tongue. "Ooh, that's fantastic! The best chocolate ever."
"Have some. Remus said that it is medicinal." Her mother snorted in laughter but Cassie noticed that she broke herself off a fairly large chunk of the huge bar, taking it with her when she went into the kitchen a few minutes later.
Remus came again a about a week later. This time Cassie's mother answered the door which made her quite nervous. However, her mother was friendly with him and Cassie was very relieved. After a few minutes of small talk, she left the two of them alone and Cassie relaxed. At least she didn't have to watch every word she said now. Remus had brought more chocolate, and Cassie blushed as she admitted that most of the original bar was gone. Remus had smiled at that announcement and Cassie thought he looked worse than she had seen him before. She asked him if he was ill, but he sidestepped the issue effectively and it wasn't until they were partway through their conversation that it suddenly clicked. The full moon would be in just a few more nights. She wanted to ask him about his being a werewolf but remembered Harry had told her that in confidence and she couldn't. Cassie told him about how things were going for her and she also told him honestly that now the terror was gone and she could relax, she was actually glad to know about magic. "I look around sometimes, wishing I could see a witch or a wizard. They do dress a little differently, I'm sure you know. But I never see them." She even explained how she had once been tempted to go to the British Museum and ask for the Alfred Gottshawks fellow, but figured that he probably wouldn't be listed in their employee directory. Remus had laughed himself silly over the story and how Harry had said his name was Seamus and how Cassie had dismissed (she had blushed when she actually had to admit this) his comments because he was just some poor old nutter in a dress.
"I'm trying to get back to my normal life. I went shopping with a friend the other day, but all she could talk about was boys and clothes and music. And I was bored. So I came home early and I think she was pretty mad at me."
"Well, when you're 16 that's all you're supposed to think about, Cassie. Speaking of boys, are you going to start dating again?" Cassie had blushed bright red.
"I never really dated before, I mean, Harry was kind of the first boy that I . . ."
"I see. But now that you know it's kind of fun, are you going to?"
"Remus, honestly! I don't think it really matters to you, does it?"
She noticed Remus blush a little but his expression was calm. "Only because Harry worries about you."
"Oh." Somehow that was even more embarrassing. She could imagine Harry, Dumbledore and Remus and other people she didn't even know sitting around an office discussing her dating life (or lack thereof) and decided she had to put an end to this immediately. "Actually, I have a date next week. A friend from school called and asked me to a movie and I'm going to go and have a good time. So you can just tell Harry and whoever else is paying attention to keep their nose out of my business!" It was unfortunately during this last sentence, which Cassie was practically yelling, that her mother walked into the living room. She respected their privacy but did like to check on them periodically.
"Cassie, what are you screaming about? You're going to scare Mr. Lupin away." Cassie suddenly felt horribly guilty. It was obvious the man was sick and here she was yelling at him just for asking about her dating life. It wasn't his fault that not every boy she met had piercing green eyes, was it?
"Sorry, Remus. I didn't mean to blow my top." She really was embarrassed. It wasn't normal for her to get so upset.
"Understandable. I'm sorry if I offended you by asking. Just so you know, it is not a topic of discussion at business meetings."
"Oh. I'm really sorry. You can tell Harry I, I'm doing better." They visited for a few more minutes and then Remus got ready to leave. Cassie's mother rejoined them to say goodbye. Reumus shook Cassie's hand and her mum's, thanking her for allowing him to come. He also handed her a large bar of chocolate which, to Cassie's surprise, she did not turn down. In fact, she grinned guiltily and told him how good the chocolate was. It wasn't until after dinner that night, when both Cassie and her mum were doing the dishes that her mum brought up the subject of Remus' visit.
"Cassie, I want to talk to you about something serious for a minute." Her tone of voice was solemn and Cassie felt her stomach do a little flip-flop. Whatever it was, it didn't sound good.
"I had a dentist appointment with Matthew today, as you know."
"Uh-huh. He's been fussing about it for days."
"Well, while I was waiting for them to finish up, I was thumbing through an old magazine and an article caught my eye. It was discussing some symptoms of a mental condition. The symptoms include moodiness, fright, easy boredom, jumpiness, over-reacting to certain stimulants, startling easily, and some others."
Cassie felt her stomach flip-flop again. Her mother was obviously making a point with this. It was not just pleasant conversation. "Yeah?"
"All those symptoms sounded kind of familiar to me. They are a pretty good description of your behavior since we got back from France. These are symptoms of something people get if they've been through a stressful experience like a war or something. Or if their lives were threatened. So, I started thinking. I decided there was probably more to the 'Went to Scotland, saw Harry's friends, came home' scenario that you initially laid out for me. Am I right?"
Cassie stared at her mum for a minute, trying to decide what she should say. But the look on her mum's face was her undoing. And suddenly, Cassie started crying - like she had on the phone - and she didn't stop for a long time. Her mum held her in her arms and rocked her and Cassie thought that it had been a very long time since she had done that. Finally, when she could find her voice again, Cassie started talking.
"I couldn't tell you before. I didn't know how to start." Her mum just made little agreement noises and Cassie tried to organize her thoughts enough that she could tell her a little but not too much. "When we got to Scotland, well, Harry had to go back right away because the bad guys were going to kill him and he was hoping that he and all his friends together could get rid of them."
"That's a nice way of saying kill them, I imagine."
"Well, yeah, or put them in prison." Cassie wasn't exactly sure how you put a wizard in prison but she remembered quite distinctly that Remus had referred to the captured Death Eaters as prisoners so she assumed that meant they had some way to do it.
"So . . . If I'm understanding you correctly, Harry went back with his friends and took you with him and then there was some sort of . . . what? A fight? Why didn't they call the police or something?"
"They did have police there but not enough, I don't think. And anyway, they still were fighting even with the police. So there was a big fight. Harry called it a battle." Her mum raised an eyebrow and Cassie wondered what she was thinking but she was too frightened to ask. "Anyway, he didn't want me anywhere near it, you know. He was afraid I'd get hurt."
"So they had a big gun fight or what exactly?"
Cassie didn't answer right away, unsure of exactly what to say. "They weren't fighting with guns. I've never seen weapons like that before. I couldn't really explain . . . ." She ignored her mother's surprised expression, hoping that maybe her mum would just think she hadn't paid that much attention. "Anyway, he wanted me to hide in an office or a cupboard but I didn't want to. I wanted to . . . watch. I wanted to make sure he was okay and that Ron and Hermione and Ginny were all okay, too." Cassie started crying again, remembering how terrible it had all been and the noise and the screaming and the terror. Her mum just waited patiently for her to stop. "Lots of people died, Mum. Most of them were bad guys. But I realized that bad guys die just the same as the good ones. Once they're dead, you can't really tell the difference. Anyway, I didn't think it would bother me that much, afterward I mean. I was glad those people died. They were trying to hurt Harry and the others. But then I got home and . . . it just seemed wrong somehow. That I would be happy and paying attention to stupid stuff when, oh, I don't know." They sat for a long time without saying anything more. Finally, her mum patted her on the shoulder.
"I don't really understand exactly what happened because I can't imagine any adult letting children fight under any circumstances. And, I can't imagine Harry in a big fight trying to kill people. He seemed so nice and quiet. But I believe you saw something that really upset you. I wish you had told me about this a long time ago. Maybe you should go see someone or something."
Cassie looked at her mother. "You mean a . . . psychiatrist? You think I'm nutters?"
"I never said that. I don't think you're nutters. I think you just need to . . ." Her mum was interrupted at that moment by the noisy arrival of her brothers, who came running in asking for a snack. Cassie was grateful for their interruption for once in her life and seized the opportunity to leave the living room.
The subject was not raised again and Cassie thought that was probably because somehow the conversation with her mother had made her feel much better and between the relief of that secret being (sort of) out of the closet and Remus' chocolate, she really did feel a lot more like her old self. So she thought that maybe her mum was less concerned now than she had been a few days ago.
It was a little less than a week later when Cassie's mum called her downstairs and she went into the living room to find not only Remus Lupin but also Arthur Weasley sitting on her couch. She silently noted how ill Remus looked even now that the full moon had passed. She thought that whatever it took to be a werewolf, it must be pretty nasty. He looked terrible. After exchanging a few pleasantries, Cassie's mum left her alone with the two men. As soon as she was sure her mum was out of earshot. Cassie swallowed hard and nervously looked at Remus.
"I have to confess something, Remus. I, uh . . .well, I had to tell my mum about what happened when I went to Hogwarts. She kind of guessed some and I . . . well, I couldn't really not tell her, you know what I mean?"
Both men got concerned looks on their faces. Remus quietly asked, "What exactly did you tell your mum, Cassie?"
"I didn't say anything about Harry or the rest of you being wizards. I told her about the battle. I just left out the use of magic, brooms, giants and all of the other stuff. She kind of thinks it was a gunfight. I'm sorry. I really am. I shouldn't have told her anything. It's just that . . ."
Remus relaxed and smiled. "It's all right, Cassie. I think you did the right thing."
"Absolutely, Cassie." Arthur agreed
Cassie felt less nervous after that and they had a pleasant visit. However, it was obvious the men were in a hurry and, after a few minutes, Remus told Cassie they had business in the city centre. They all stood up and Cassie began to thank them for stopping by. She mentioned how much she had appreciated the chocolate Remus had brought. "Now if I could just figure out how to get a hold of some pumpkin juice. It was so good when I had it at Hogwarts."
Arthur got a smile on his face. "Well, why don't you come with us to Diagon Alley? You could pick up some fresh pumpkin juice. My sons, Fred and George, have a store there. You could visit with them while Remus and I went to our, uh, meeting. And then we could take you to get some."
Cassie noticed a surprised expression on Remus' face at Arthur's invitation. The thought of visiting this wizarding place she had heard so much about appealed to her. However, the timing was lousy. Tonight was the night of the date she had mentioned to Remus at his last visit. She figured it had to just be a coincidence as she had never even told him the day, but it was annoying anyway. "I'd really love to go. It sounds great, but I've got this date later . . . and I need to be home in time."
"Oh, no problem. It's only 1:00 now. We should only be a few hours." Remus looked rather exasperated at Arthur and Cassie realized that he didn't really want her to come. After being assured they would only be a few hours and would be taking the tube rather than a portkey, Cassie enthusiastically said she would ask her mum. She felt kind of bad going against what Remus so obviously wanted, but the lure of Diagon Alley was too strong.
Cassie's mother was fairly hesitant about her going off with the two men and Cassie shifted rather uncomfortably. She felt nothing but a daughterly affection for the two older men but it was obvious that her mother was thinking there may be more than that to this. It was very embarrassing and Cassie hoped that neither of them picked up on it.
"We'll be taking her to my sons' shop. They're friends of Harry's and I think she would enjoy seeing that part of town. She said she's never been there before."
"What kind of a shop is it?"
"Well, they own a joke shop."
Cassie's mother raised an eyebrow. "Oh, well, that's uh, nice."
Arthur grinned sheepishly. "Yes, well, my wife, Molly, isn't too impressed either. But, they are doing well for themselves. And they're happy." Cassie thought about pulling out the business card from her secret stash of photographs and things but then thought about the name of their store. She seemed to remember it said something about magic or wizards or something. So she decided not to open that subject for discussion.
"Well, I'm sure it's a nice shop. Cassie, I guess it'll be fine if you go. Just be home in time for dinner and remember you have a date with Brian tonight."
Cassie blushed with embarrassment. She would rather not have her dating life discussed in front of Harry's friends. Of course, Remus would be happy, thinking that this meant she was re-joining her regular life. And sure enough, she gave a sideways glance at Remus and noticed a small smile on his face as the three trooped out the front door.
