A/N: Ah yes...well, this one seems to be liked so I updated quickly. There are a few holes...like Angel probably really shouldn't be a vampire at all, but its more amusing for me if he is. So, wee for that. I hope you like this chapter, it's still more of an introduction than anything else and I'm hoping when I get more time, there'll be a lot more to come, as I actually enjoy writing these retarded little kid fics that are just happy happy happy. Read and review. =)

Little Devil, Little Angel

Chapter Two - Looking Both Ways


Spike's hands were occupied. One was taken up by a sweet, gentle, yet confident little hand. The other, though...the other was something to be reckoned with.

"For Hell's sake, Angelus, get your bleedin' fangs out of my soddin' palm!" The blonde vampire yelped, tugging his wounded hand free. "You used to be a lot bloody cleverer than this, you know," he added, suckling on the laceration. "You used to wine 'em, dine 'em, and then dine on 'em. Now you're just goin' straight for the goods without any thought to the consequences."

"Did I hurt you, Will?" Innocent batting of the eyelashes, followed by a quick grab for his hand.

"Yes."

"Yay!" the little boy cheered, jumping up into the air with a juvenile exuberance that made Spike feel old and tired.

"Stop being mean to Will," little Angel snapped, glaring at his evil counterpart. "He didn't do nothin' to you."

"Nobody likes a goody two shoes, Angel," Angelus returned, stopping momentarily to carefully side-step a puddle. He stopped again a moment later, realizing that they were surrounded by puddles.

"What's up with you, then?" Spike sighed. "We're almost there." His eyes widened in surprise when he saw the evil version of his mini-sire pout.

"It's dirty." Angelus looked up at his childe with big brown eyes.

Spike blinked.

Angelus blinked back, then held out his arms, making little grabbing motions with his hands.

"And...?" Spike asked, unsure of what was going on.

Angelus sighed. "Don't just stand there, boy! Carry me!"

"Bloody Hell."

Angel tugged on his hand. "Me too, Will. Puddles aren't sanitary."

"Oh, soddin'...bloody....alright." Much fumbling ensued and the two little versions of what once was the Scourge of Europe clambered onto their childe in a multitude of unworkable positions. "Okay, that's enough," Spike finally snapped. "Angel, on my back." He knelt so the little soulful poofmaster general could climb onto his back. "And, you..." he lifted Angelus into his arms.

"How come I'm on the back?" Angel whined as Angelus simultaneously griped, "Why am I on the front?"

"Because I trust you," Spike told Angel. "And I don't trust this one." He started walking again and slowly, but surely, the trio made it to the point where they were across the street from the Hyperion.

"STOP!" Angel commanded. Spike halted immediately. "You didn't look both ways."

"Soddin' shite, Angel," the blonde groaned. "There are no cars. I can hear them, you know."

"What if they're silent cars?" Angel asked. "It wouldn't matter then and you'd just walk out into the street and we'd all die."

"We'd go to Hell," Angelus chirped. "And we'd burn." He pouted again. "Without killing anyone ever again." He glared at Spike. "Boy, look both ways."

"Angelus..."

"Do as you're told."

"Will, you should always look both ways. It's safe," Angel agreed. "I still have lotsa people to save."

"Soddin' bleedin' atonement," Spike grumbled. "We're vampires. Cars don't kill us." The two remained silent and thoughtful at that realization while Spike crossed the now car-ridden street without incident. "Angel, you still are a vampire, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Angel affirmed, sliding down the younger vampire's back when they reached the door. Spike half-set half-dropped Angelus to the ground before sucking in a deep, unneccessary breath and letting the two in.

And there they all were: Lorne, Wesley, Gunn, Fred, and Cordelia all sitting around on the little round-a-bout sofa in the lobby of the hotel. As if there weren't plenty of other places to sit.

As if Angelus wasn't automatically attracted to four out of five tasty treats in a duck duck goose-like circle.

"Food!" the little evil wonder squealed, launching himself at the four humans and the less than appetizing green demon.

But there was little Angel in a flash, with a fist to his twin's face and a kick to the tiny groin.

"My FRIENDS," the little souled wonder growled, shaking a scolding finger at the fallen Angelus. "Bite them and I'll kick your butt."

"Will not!" Angelus retorted, then gave a little whimper of pain as he held his bleeding nose.

"Will so."

"Will not."

"Will so."

"Will. Not."

"Will. So."

"EXCUSE ME," Cordelia interrupted the exceedingly hostile banter. "But just what is going on here?"

Spike slumped to the ground next to Wesley's feet and looked tiredly at his two miniature sires. "Borna demon. Toth," he groaned.

"Toth?" Wesley asked.

"He had a big stick," Spike said by way of explanation. "Hit Angel both at the same time and then this happened...and this isn't any bloody picnic."

"Will not," Angelus hissed, trying to get the final word in.

"Will so," Angel hissed back.

"And let me get this straight," Cordelia said slowly. "One of them wants to eat us and the other is...oh god, is that Angelus?"

"What?" Gunn asked, perplexed. "You can't be serious. Mini-Satan in the flesh?"

"Yeah," Spike sighed unhappily.

"No way," Cordelia said.

"Yeah," the vampire repeated.

"No way."

"Yeah...way."

"No way!"

"Cordelia, that is getting tiresome," Wesley interjected, looking warily at the two identical vampires.

"Sorry," the dark-haired woman half-heartedly apologized. She looked back to the boys. "So which one of you is evil again?"

Neither raised his hand, though one wore a smug smile while the other began to look increasing irritated.

"It's him!" the irritable one snapped, pointing to his smug look-a-like.

"So?" Angelus sniffed. "At least I'm not a human wannabe!"

"At least I don't play in people's blood! That's unsanitary!"

"At least I lick it off and eat properly. You want to talk about dirty, you drink pig's blood!"

"You have Darla cooties."

"You have Slayer cooties and that's so much worse."

A punch in the nose sent little Angelus sprawling across the floor.

"I can punch harder and faster and quicker than you!"

"You wish!"

A fight ensued. Much blood was spilt.


"Ow ow ow," Wesley groused, flinching as Cordelia tended to his bleeding arm. "Who would have thought that two little boys could cause so much pain?"

"Not me," Gunn admitted, accepting the ice pack from Fred and putting it under his swelling eye.

"I don't get it," the little Texan girl said, taking a seat next to Lorne (who, incidentally, was nursing a broken horn). "Spike was so sweet when he was little. He had his moments, sure, but they were pretty harmless considering what those two just did."

"Angelcakes is still a sweetiepie," Lorne replied. "Despite the hitting and the kicking and the...well, he was just trying to protect us from Satan Jr." He winced and rubbed his leg. "Wish he hadn't kicked me in the shin, though."

"BOY! Release me from these chains and get me out of this ridiculous corner at once!" Angelus barked, rattling the chains connected to his bite-sized manacles.

Spike groaned and feigned ignorance to the fact that the vampire that could rip him and the world to useless shreds (if only he were normal sized) had just given him a direct order.

"Angelus, no talking in time out," Wesley chided.

"Yeah, and you should be there permanently," Cordelia added. "You killed Ms. Calendar." She paused. "Although, she was giving me a failing grade that year and I did pass after her untimely demise..."

"See?" Angelus asked. "Good can come out of evil. If you only let it..."

"Don't listen to him, Cordy!" Angel yelled. "He's bad."

"So bad..." Angelus smiled. "So bad, I'm good."

"That didn't even make sense," Angel growled, balling up his fists and making his way towards his chained up enemy.

"Angel...return to your corner," Wesley sighed tiredly.

"Oh. Sorry, Wes."

"Not a problem."

"Nancyboy," Angelus whispered.

"I have things to atone for," Angel replied, crossing his arms and slouching in his chair. "There's dignity in that."

"There's also dignity in tearing the beating hearts out of your human pets' chests, but you don't do that, do you, Soul Boy?"

"You're mean."

"Duh. I'm evil."

"Will, come over here," Angel ordered. Spike obeyed, walking cautiously to his mini-sire's side. "Kick him in the face."

"Do it and I'll rip your lungs right out of your arse, boy," Angelus growled. "And I'll do it chained, too."

"Percy, can we turn them back to normal, yet?" Spike groaned. "You did it for me..."

"Do you really want a full-sized Angelus running around?"

"Better being threatened by the real thing rather than this little bitlet here."

"Well, the answer is still no. That's far too dangerous."

Spike groaned and attempted to move away when he suddenly found Angel clinging to his leg. "This is all Peter Pan's fault."

"You didn't kick him in the face." The classic brooding expression settled over the little face.

"And I'm not bloody gonna, so go pout to someone else."

"That's a good boy," Angelus nodded his head approvingly. "Know your real master."

"He's not yours! He's mine!"

"Is not!"

"Is so!"

Spike pried the little arms from his leg and snuck away, having at a fruitless attempt to block the voices of the bickering children out of his head. It was going to be one hell of a....however long this happened to last.

"Why can't we just stake Angelus and make Angel big again?" Fred was asking.

"There might be serious ramifications to that," Wesley replied. "Getting rid of Angelus might seriously alter Angel, and that might not be for the better." The ex-Watcher fidgeted a bit. "There's another thing..."

Spike quirked an eyebrow. "What other thing, Percy?"

"Well...um, er...you see..."

"You can tell us anything, Sugar Plum," Lorne said gently.

"The book I found the antidote in...to make Spike big again..."

Cordelia's eyes widened. "What? What about the book?"

"Well, um....I seem to have misplaced it."

The sound of ripping paper drowned out their groans of dismay and the Fang Gang, and their miniature leader, turned to look at the small child chained up in the corner...who, incidentally, was gnawing on a huge, musty, 16th Century book. Little, tiny shreds of paper littered the floor around his little feet and big a Cheshire cat grin graced his little face as he ripped at the spine with a single, harsh tug.

"Oh. My. God."

"In the name of all things Ella, no."

"Good Lord."

"This isn't good at all, is it?"

Spike folded his arms and rolled his eyes. "Is anyone else wondering how that even bloody happened?"

No one said a word, but everyone looked equally confused.

"It's not fair," Little Angel spoke up, wiping at his eyes to rid himself of the tears threatening to spill. "It's not fair." He stomped his foot. "I just want to shanshu!"

Little Angelus laughed. Little Angel cried. Spike made a noise that sounded a bit like both.

As for Wesley, Gunn, Lorne, Fred, and Cordelia...well they sobbed. On the inside.


TBC...