Chapter 3, Caged bird
'Right now I feel like a bird. Caged without a key.
Everyone comes staring me. So much joy in reverie.
They don't know how I feel inside, through my smile I cry.
They don't know what they do to me. Keeping me from flying.
That's why I say that I know why the caged bird sings. Only joy comes from song. She's so very beautiful, to others. Why don't I just set her free?
So she can fly, fly, fly... Spreading her wings and her song.
Let her fly, fly, fly... The whole world to see...' - Alicia Keys
The first schoolday was awful. Parvati and Lavender quickly seemed to become a dream team, and they didn't seem too happy to have Sarah following them around and sitting next to them in classes.
Sarah was hurt that Parvati wasn't interested in her, and couldn't really understand what she'd done to deserve it.
Now they were having dinner, and Sarah was sitting next to Parvati and Lavender, though not joining in the conversation.
She was considering her other classmates, searching for someone to make friends with. A few seats away from her, chatting with Parvati and Lavender, was a black boy called Dean Thomas and an irish boy named Seamus Finnigan.
They were already becoming a team, just like Parvati and Lavender.
On the opposite side of the table, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, a tall, freckly, red-haired boy were sitting. They seemed to have made instant friends as well.
Sarah just didn't get it. What was wrong with her? Why didn't anyone want to be her friend?
Harry smiled at her. She hadn't realised she'd been looking at him. She quickly looked down at her Shepherd's pie and concentrated on it. Yes, she definetely liked him, he was special. But right now, she didn't exactly feel like she would ever be tying a closer relationship with anyone.
Her eyes fell on the last two Gryffindor first years, Neville Longbottom and Hermione Granger. They didn't seem to fit quite so excellently in either.
After just one day at Hogwarts Sarah thought it seemed like Hermione was a top student and Neville quite the contrary. But she wasn't going to judge them just yet. Maybe tomorrow it would all be different. She sure hoped so.
After doing a little bit of homework in the common room she went up to the dormitory early. Parvati and Lavender had actually come over to sit with her, but Sarah had a feeling they did it just to get help with their homework.
Sarah took out her beloved discman and put in a Coldplay cd. She was really in need of music now.
She pushed play. No reaction. She did it again. No reaction.
'Don't panic,' she told herself. She changed te batteries. Then pushed play. No bloody reaction!
Tears of frustration started to leak from her eyes as she tried all the buttons. Her only comfort, the thing that was going to get her through it all...
She laid the precious discman down in the trunk again. She needed music.
After half an hour of sulking on her bed she started to sing, just for comfort.
'Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are...'
She found herself standing on the narrow stripe of land this night too. But the good mood she usually got here, didn't come. Maybe you couldn't escape all your worries here after all.
She sighed and started to walk.
On the other side of the island a very similar girl was in a bad mood as well.
For some reason the sheer delight of Avaliento seemed to have faded after Sarah's talk with Tumi. There were unknown things to worry about here too.
'Growing up sucks,' Sarah muttered. Then a little louder.
'Growing up sucks.' She felt boldness rise inside her.
'GROWING UP SUCKS!!' she yelled as loud as she could. She felt a smile creep into her face.
She was starting to enjoy the sun again, and her steps were getting lighter.
Tumi's hut was bypassed, she didn't feel like messing with herbs today. She walked on for a while, not able to figure out what she felt like doing. In the end she settled for merely walking.
A long walk later she was standing near an enormous forest. Or really, it was the enormous forest. Other forests here, like the one behind Tumi's hut, were only a quarter of it's size at most.
Sarah had never been allowed to enter the forest, it was dangerous they said, and since there was no way around it she had no idea what laid beyond.
By dangerous did they mean 'too big for little miss Sarah,' or really dangerous?
The darkness under the trees did seem dangerous. And the path was very narrow. Sarah took a few steps in. The world seemed to hold it's breath.
She took a few more steps. The forest was incredibly beautiful. She took a deep breath and walked further in. It went darker for every step. There wasn't a sound. Not even wind in the trees.
Sarah was starting to feel unsure. She had a strong feeling that there was something very important for her to find out on the other side. She had to walk on.
She shaked her head so her hair flew around like a golden windstorm. Ater the somewhat exaggerated headshake a very smart thought fell into her mind. This feeling that she had to walk on could be what was dangerous about the forest. The forest was trying to trick her right into whatever peril was hidden there.
She should turn back. At once. Now. It was very hard. And the fact that it was hard to turn convinced Sarah it was the right thing to do.
She ran out from the silent forest, with a feeling she'd lost something very valuable.
The morning had been bad. She followed Parvati and Lavender around, trying to come up with interesting things to say (Did you hear about that escaped house-elf?)
At the moment she was talking to Hermione Granger as Parvati and Lavender seemed to have disappeared.
'Oh, they're both dentists,' Hermione said in reply to Sarah question about what her parents worked with.
'Dentists? What's that?'
'Er...well..they fix people's teeth. It's a muggle thing.'
'Oh, so you're muggleborn?'
'Yes.'
'Wow, that must be interesting. They do a lot of weird stuff, muggles.' Sarah laughed.
'Sorry,' she added, seeing Hermione's face.
A week later her life seemed like a living nightmare. She dreaded every schoolday. She loved the classes and studying magic, but it was horrible not to have any friends.
Yesterday, Parvati and Lavender had sighed exasperated when she came over to them, and after that, Sarah had just given up.
Being alone was what she dreaded most in the world, so she felt very vulnerable walking down corridores alone, sitting in classes alone, eating breakfast alone, eating dinner alone, doing homework alone, not having fun alone, being angry alone, crying alone...
After just one day of it she felt like drowning herself in a toilet (Well, maybe not a toilet, but..)
It was pretty late, but Sarah didn't want to go to sleep. She decided she needed a little adventure, so she snuck out of the castle.
She walked restlessly around in the grounds, thinking about everything and nothing. At last she sat down by the Forbidden Forest, not too far from gamekeeper Hagrid's cabin.
A Maria Mena song that had always made her cry came to mind, and, like Sarah Haven tended to do, she started to sing.
'Mum, please tell me what to do. I'm so disappointed in you.
You said those words that made me cry, and you always wondered why,
why I sing my lullaby.
Mum, please hurry home to me. I waited up so patiently. You said some when I start to cry, but you never asked me why, why I sing my lullaby. Why I sing my lullaby...
Was it my fault, that led you in the wrong direction?
Was it my fault, that didn't show you any affection?
I show you when I start to cry, still you always wonder why, why I sing my lullaby...why I sing my lullaby..
Mama, love me if you're cold. You'll just get bitter, then grow old. Ask me when I start to weep, and I'll tell you in my sleep, why I sing my lullaby...
Why I sing my lullaby...'
It was over in a flash, but Sarah was sure she'd seen it.
A tall woman in a white dress standing in the forest with tears in her eyes.
After a few seconds it felt more like something she'd dreamed as a child than something that had just happened.
For a few minutes she stared into the forest, thinking about this, but it didn't make sense to her no matter how she saw it.
Back up in the castle she had to walk very carefully so she wouldn't be caught.
On her way through an empty corridor she suddenly got snatched into a room. The door behind her slid shut, and the hands who had dragged her in dropped her on the floor. Her heart pounding madly, she looked up to see who had dragged her in.
'I must say Fred, that the resemblance to Snape is uncanny.' It was the red-haired twins, Ron Weasley's older brothers.
'I think we should treat her to a dungbomb as well. Get rid of this horrible smell of roses.' The twin called Fred wrinkled his nose in pretended disgust.
'What are you doing here?' Sarah asked, feeling very stupid down on the floor.
'Well, put it this way, old Snape is coming by in...' The other twin, George, consulted a piece of parchment 'ten minutes, I'd say.'
Sarah's lips formed into an evil smirk.
'And you have a dungbomb in the corridor?'
'Not only a dungbomb, an invisible dungbomb.'
'You have an invisible dumgbomb in the corridor?'
'Not only an invisible dungbomb, twenty-three invisible dungbombs.'
'You have twenty-three invisible dungbombs in the corridor?'
'Correct. Not too quick on the uptake are you?'
'And I expect they're garlic charmed, since you are such experts?'
Fred and George blinked.
Sarah smiled in a superior sort of way.
'Watch and learn.' She marched out in the corridor and-
'Stop!' said George 'you almost stepped on one.'
'I know, that why I almost stepped on one.'
Fred and George exchanged looks.
Sarah muttered the spell words and thought about garlic, as Tumi had instructed. She didn't need her wand, she'd been trained to do some wandless magic in Avaliento.
Satisfied, Sarah stood up and went back into the little room where Fred and George were gaping at her.
'What exactly does garlic charmed mean?'
'Think about something that describes garlic.'
'Small, white and onion-like?' Fred suggested.
'So smelly that even vampires can't stand it?' Said George.
'Impossible to get rid of...' Sarah grinned mischieviously.
'I like the way your mind works,' Fred was grinning too.
'Not sure it'll have any effect though,' said George thoughtfully.
'Why?'
'Snivellus already smells so bad he wont know no difference.'
'Snivellus?'
'That's what they've labelled him on the map.' George showed Sarah a complex map of Hogwarts with a dot labelled 'Snivellus' moving rapidly towards their own dots.
'That's an awesome map!' Sarah exclaimed.
'The secret to our success,' George nodded wisely.
'So don't tell anyone about it,' Fred added.
'Sure thing,' Sarah smiled. She felt like a whole new person.
'Ooh, here he comes,' Fred whispered, an evil glint in his eyes. They could hear footsteps outside.
Then there was a loud yell from Snape as he trod on the dungbombs. Fred, George and Sarah burst into silent laughter fits, listening to him.
They heard him say something like 'The culprit will be found and punished' before he stalked off, coughing and cursing.
Giggling, they watched the Snivellus dot moving quickly to the dungeons.
'Ah well, ' George sighed 'enough for tonight.' They hurried out the door and ran as fast as they could away from the very-foul smelling corridor to prevent being victims for their own spell.
'Well, well, well, young Sarah,' said Fred when they got to the Common Room 'you seem like a promising new nuisance.'
'We'll be watching you,' George said, and they both winked at her before they went up to their dormitiories.
Sarah went to bed, feeling thoroughly happy for the first time ever at Hogwarts.
A few weeks later Sarah was standing alone in a corridor, feeling, not at all for the first time ever, thoroughly depressed.
Fred and George greeted her in inventive ways when they met her, but that was what they remained, greeters. Why didn't anyone have anything to say to her than 'hi'? She didn't care if it was a 'hi!' from two twins dressed as bananas in the middle of blue smoke, or from gigantic blueberry pie's flying towards her and hitting her in the face (she revenged on the twins for that one, they walked around with flowery hats on their heads for two days until she finally agreed to remove them) , they were still just 'hi's'...
She heard footsteps approaching from the other end of the empty corridor. Wonderful, just what she needed.
It was the pale, blond boy and his two, huge friends.
'Hi,' said the pale boy. Sarah tried very hard to ignore the ironi in this.
'Hi,' she said.
'My name's Draco Malfoy,' said the pale boy with a smirk. 'And this is Crabbe and Goyle.' Haven't they got the wits to introduce themselves? Sarah thought, looking at the two, large Slytherins. Then she realised she was about to make the same old mistake.
'I'm Sarah Haven.'
'Ah, Haven. You're a pureblood then.'
'Yes,' said Sarah, mentally rolling her eyes.
'I notice you haven't got so many friends?' Sarah surveyed Draco for a moment.
'You notice right.'
'You can be friends with us.' This struck Sarah as suspiciously kind, coming from a Slytherin.
'Why?' Draco laughed.
'Why not?'
Why not? He had a point there.
This night she decided to go the palace, or the château as they called it in Avaliento. Sarah had long ago figured out that the island was french, though where in France it was, she didn't know, in spite of all the maps she had studied.
The château was a wonderful building. It was blendingly white, with lots of fair, slim towers and white, smooth marble walls. All around the château was a glorious garden with all plants imaginable. Sarah was now skilled with a lot of plants because of that garden, and it's master, Touillot.
The path through the garden was made of white marble and surrounded by rosebushes in all shapes and sizes. Sarah picked a red one, and put it in her hair. She loved roses above all other flowers.
'It is the women's flower, the rose.' Touillot's happy, aged face emerged from behind a bush he was trimming. 'I can see that you are growing up, madam Sarah.' Sarah smiled, a little sadly.
'I suppose I am.'
'Don't take it so hard,' he said and winked 'it get's better in time.' He continued cutting the rose bush. 'The lady is down by the sea if you wanted to see her.' Sarah smiled gratefully and ran of into the garden to get to the other side of the château, Touillot always had a way of knowing what she wanted.
'Bonjour, Sarah.' The Lady was siting on the warm rocks by the sea, looking at the setting sun. 'What was it like, starting at Hogwarts?'
'Do you know about Hogwarts?' Sarah asked in surprise.
'Of course I do.' Sarah sat down next to her.
'How do you know about it?'
'I went there myself once.'
'Really?'
'Yes. And the first years were awful.'
Sarah looked at the many red tones in the sunset for a while.
'I can't say I like it there either.'
'It gets better.'
Sarah didn't say anything. Twice she'd heard those words now, but she found them hard to believe. The fact that the Lady had once attended Hogwarts was also quite hard to swallow.
'Lady... can I-'
'How many-'
'Alright, Fiovienna then.'
'It is impolite to-'
'You did it first.' Fiovinna grinned.
'You win, I did. Well, as to why I'm here when I once went to Hogwarts... I'm not completely sure myself.' Sarah was quite used to Fiovienna knowing her questions before she asked them. The pair of them watched the magnificent sunset in silence. Both girls golden hair flew around in the warm wind. Sarah could tell that Fiovienna was considering whether to tell her more or not.
'I died, a long time ago, and then came here.' Sarah chanced one quick look up at Fiovienna's sad eyes. 'Why I came here is a mystery to me, but I am guessing I wont leave again until I've fulfilled my task.'
'What is your task?'
'To ensure that the elves don't fail their purpose. There may be few of us left, but we must help the world with this last evil before we disappear out of history. I wanted to fulfil that purpose because I knew that if I didn't...' Fiovienna's head was turned away from Sarah, all she could see was her hair. She opened her mouth to ask the vital question in all of this, but Fiovienna spoke again.
'I have to go now, Sarah.'
Sarah sadly watched Fiovienna walk towards the château for a while, then turned her head back to the sunset.
She had a lot to think about. Fiovenna as a little girl at Hogwarts was very hard to imagine. Also, it made her face the fact that Fiovienna was real, she had lived in England, she had had a life. And then she had died and ended up here. Would that happen to Sarah too?
And what was this evil Fiovienna talked about? The only thing
Sarah could think of was Voldemort. But he had been killed, long ago, by Harry Potter.
Maybe Harry was one of the elves? And he had done the thing that Fiovienna failed to do? In that case, why was she still here?
It was getting dark now. All that could be seen of the sun was a faint red glow in the horizon.
Sarah pulled her hood over her head and started walking back to the mountain passage. The sun set in Avaliento when it rose in England, so it would soon be time to wake up.
Out of the corner of her eye, Sarah could see the enormous forest. There still was something that dragged her to it, she was desperate to find out what was on the other side.
Then the reasonable part of her min broke in and told her she shoul never have gone against everyone's advice and entered the forest. Now it would continue to drag her to it everytime she saw it.
Stars started to appear in the sky and Sarah was reminded of her visit to Norway last year (Which was why she liked so much nordic music). Northeren lights, red, green and golden, started to dance around the sky and the air got colder. It was as if somethinghad brought the polar winter to Avaliento. Sarah shot one more glance at the forest and the unexplored northeren part of the island before she drew her cloak closer around her and walked quickly towards the mountain.
She was out on the tongue of rocks in the sea now, and felt herself gradually disappearing from the island and waking up in England.
