Very short Author's Note.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, CELEBRINDAE!

cough I don't know, but when she mentioned "weird situations", my creativity just kicked in. So now, I shall start writing this lovely piece of crap. I know, minna-san, it's taken forever, but SCHOOL. Which will not end until June 11 for me, so don't expect daily updates. I'm sorry, but I have 11th grade to pass! And thanks to Shin-san as well…I think it's a curse on the YYH stories…they're the only ones being affected. O.o

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There were three key factors for chaos. First off, Kuronue was bored. Secondly, he was alone in the bar…except for the thin, blonde female sipping something that looked like cider. Which was the third factor. She was extremely pretty. And Kaeru wasn't there to talk some sense into him.

"So," he said, leaning against the counter, and winking at the girl, who glanced at him from the corner of one blue eye. "You come here often?"

"About once a week." She took a swig from her tankard, then set it down with a sigh. "I look for certain…types of people."

He raised an eyebrow. "And am I your type, then?"

The girl looked him over with a scrutinizing stare. "Your ears," she said, after a thoughtful pause. "They're pointed."

Kuronue laughed nervously. "Yes, well, I was born like that."

"And your clothes…do you always wear black?"

"Well, I find it rather suits my nature--"

"And your teeth seem…sharper than normal people's…" She persisted.

He resisted the urge to say "The better to eat you with, my dear", and cleared his throat. "Well, obviously, I'm not your type. I'll just be leaving then…"

"Oh, no you don't!" To the chimera's surprise, the girl suddenly pulled out a long wooden stake, hidden within her long tan trench coat. "I've found you, vampire, and you shall not escape unscathed from the holy power!"

Oh Inari, she's one of those crazy bible-selling people, Kuronue thought. "Uh…really, I think you're mista--"

"I'm NEVER mistaken!" She lunged at him, the stake clutched tightly in her upraised hands. "Prepare to feel pain, vampire! I am Muffin Ayadoki, otherwise known as Muffy the Vampire Slayer!"

She's GOT to be kidding, he thought in disbelief. Who in their right mind would name their kid "Muffin"?? He jumped back to avoid getting speared like a shishkabob through the chest, and decided that, kidding or not, this female was obviously dangerous.

"After I stab you, I'll sit by and sip my drink, while I watch you shrivel into a pile of smoking ashes, screaming in constant agony, and the world will be purified once more."

With that happy mental image, Kuronue ran for his life. The slayer pursued.

He was almost to Kurama's house when he remembered, with a pang, that no one was home. Kurama and Chitsuko had gone out somewhere, and the Mirror Holders had invited Kaeru and Suzaku over to play a rousing card game…or so Kelsey had said.

"Damn it!"

"BLASPHEMY!" Muffy shrieked, her face a mask of hysteria, insanity, anger, and glee. "You shall pay for your sins against humanity!"

The chimera was getting tired of this. Shedding his heavy black coat, he flapped his wings hard and took flight, soaring high over the city, before following the air currents to Suzuki's house.

Inside said home, the Mirror Holders, Rei, Shishiwakamaru, Suzuki, Jin, Touya, Hiei, Chuu, and Kaeru were playing Slap Jack. Mizu, Suzaku, and Rinku were cheering on their favorites, and let out a particularly loud whoop when Hiei's hand shot out and grabbed the Jack before gazing out at the card game in front of him with a bored expression on his face.

"It's not fair!" Shishiwakamaru complained. "He's too fast and he grabs them before we even see them!"

Kelsey looked at Hiei suspiciously. "I bet it's because of that Eye of his…"

"So what if it is?" The Jaganshi scoffed.

"Hiei," Kia said warningly. He smirked at her.

"I know!" Rei jumped to her feet and grabbed Axe, who (A/N: o.o Who??) was propped up against the couch. "I say we HACK the damned thing out of his forehead and then Hiei can't cheat anymore!"

"I suspect that would hurt," Touya said mildly.

"Not to mention Hiei'd roast ya like one of those ningen sticky thingies…" Jin blinked, looking puzzled as he tried to recall the name. "Mash…err…"

"Marshmallows," Kia supplied helpfully.

"That's the one! Marshmallows!"

All this time, they'd still been laying out cards, and Kaeru suddenly reached forward and touched one…a Jack--just as Hiei's hand shot out to snatch it.

They all stared at her.

"Well, I'll be Kuwabara's uncle," Chuu murmured. "She actually got one! She beat Three -Eyes!"

Hiei growled irritably, and the little Koorime flushed. "A-ano, gomen nasai, Hiei-san, I didn't mean to take your John!"

"Jack," Kelsey corrected her.

"Why DO they call it Jack, anyway?" Rei pondered. "Why not Jeff? Or John? Or Joseph? Or even Jill? I think they're sexist! DESTROY SEXISM!"

Suzuki rolled his eyes. "This game has gone to hell."

"Gomen nasai," Kaeru repeated timidly. "It did nothing wrong, so I must have sent it there. Perhaps I can retrieve it?"

"Not literally, Kae-chan! You are just so ADORABLE!" Rei forgot all destroying plans and hugged the Ice Maiden tightly. "I'm going to adopt you! You can call me Mommy from now on!"

"Ah…" Thankfully, Kaeru was spared from replying, due to the door falling in…courtesy of Kuronue's foot.

"You've gotta help me!" He was panting hard, the pupils in his violet eyes shrunk down to tiny spots.

"Kuronue-san, what's wrong?" Kaeru asked, concerned, as he collapsed in front of her, his head resting in her lap. "Are you injured?"

He was content to rest there, sucking in deep draughts of air until he had recovered enough to talk without gasping. "Muffy…slayer…big stake…trying…to kill me…"

"What's this?" Kia looked at him. "A muffin slayer?"

"Kia, someone took our job!" Kelsey exclaimed dramatically, hands to her cheeks. The other Mirror Holder coughed, smiling. "But you're not a muffin, Kuronue."

"I KNOW that!" He exclaimed angrily. Kaeru rested a hand on his hair, and he calmed down slightly. "There's a VAMPIRE SLAYER after me! I think I lost her when I flew here, but--"

"THERE you are!" Muffy stood in the doorway, twirling the stake like a baton. "I shall DESTROY you!"

"She sounds like Rei," Rinku muttered. The priestess stuck out her tongue and crossed her eyes at him.

Suzuki looked over at Kuronue. "And why, exactly, is she after YOU?"

"Well, I flirted with her, and before I knew it, she was calling me a vampire…"

"You FLIRTED with her??" The Mirror Holders yelped in unison.

Rei pushed Kuronue off Kaeru's lap, and dragged the Koorime into her arms. "Kae-chan, sweetie, you are never to see or talk to this sick pervert ever again. Am I understood?"

"…Nani?"

"Just say 'Yes, Mommy.'"

"But I--"

"He has it coming!" Rei huffed indignantly. "Have at it, Muffin! Stab him EXTRA hard! Stab him where it hurts! In fact, stab him in the--" Suzaku discreetly covered her mouth with his hand. "Mmmph."

Hiei let out a snort of disgust and drew his katana. "Baka ningen."

Mizu stared at him, wide-eyed. "You're going to defend Kuronue?"

"I feel like killing something," he said, the only explanation he was going to offer.

"DIE, DEMON!" Muffy shrieked.

Kaeru sighed quietly and disengaged herself from Rei's smothering arms. "Muffy-san, I apologize, but you're mistaken about Kuronue-san being a vampire." She walked over to the slayer and began talking to her in a quiet, soothing voice. The woman seemed to be listening intently, and then smiled, patting the Koorime on the head.

"What a charming girl you are." Her smile brightened. "I understand." She bowed in Kuronue's direction. "I am truly sorry for misunderstanding you. Farewell." With another bow to Kaeru, she walked off.

"What did you DO?" Shishiwakamaru finally asked, as everyone else gaped. "What did you tell her?"

"The truth."

Kelsey laughed. "What, that he's a bat-winged perverted demon?"

"No." Kaeru sweatdropped. "That he's not a vampire and that all of his traits and his very nature made him his own person, and even if he was a bit different than most ningens, that that didn't make him a vampire." She smiled. "And she apologized for not having an open mind, since she didn't have any solid proof."

"Kaeru, you're unbelievable." Kia shook her head in awe. "Kuronue doesn't deserve someone like you."

"I can't believe Macho Bat had to be saved by a little girl!" Suzuki started laughing.

"Oh, shut up," Kuronue said heatedly, stalking off. At that moment, he disliked Kaeru even more than he disliked Muffy.

"Well…that was…strange," Touya remarked, after a very long stretch of silence.

"But now Axe has a new friend!" Rei squealed delightedly, pointing to the sharpened piece of wood lying on the floor. "I'm going to call him Stake!"

Nothing was said. No words were needed.

OOC

Well…that was…errr…strange. I totally agree with Touya. Please review while I do a victory dance for beating Writer's Block! NEXT chapter!

Kuronue seems a bit tense…can Kaeru figure out what's wrong with him?

The unthinkable happens…Kuronue attacks Kaeru! What's going on?? O.o

After a fight, Botan suddenly appears and gives Kuronue some breaking news on Zenkai. And Kaeru's run off! Uh-oh…