Chapter 102 - Rip Out His Throat
September, 2002
"Would you state your name for the record?"
The lens of the camera shines in the overhead lighting. It makes Sephiroth's head feel like an echo chamber. Distantly, Sephiroth knows he is sitting in the guest chair in Hojo's office. He's aware that he is staring at Hojo. The room is silent. If he tries hard enough, he can hear the camera humming and clicking. It's recording every movement of Sephiroth's face, inscribed further every reaction he has to whatever happens next.
Hojo leans forward on his elbows and watches him like he is a data point with an unpredictable variable. He won't give him the satisfaction of a reaction. Sephiroth blinks slowly and lets the film run. He will waste the resources.
He should question the camera, the interview, the need for this meeting at all but he doesn't care. What does it matter anymore? Hojo can't take something away from him that he doesn't have. There is nothing left to him.
"State your name for the record," the edge of Hojo's voice goes dark.
Sephiroth focuses himself, sharpening himself. "You know my name. After 27 years, you know my name."
"This is not the time to grow an attitude."
Sephiroth remains quiet. Something is crawling in the back of Hojo's eyes. It is like a snake looking to break through. Deadly. Hojo's fingers weave together. The silver scars catch the light.
"Who do you think has killed more?" Sephiroth asks slowly. Hojo's nails are neat and cut short. The beds are clean. It must take work. Or perhaps he always wears gloves.
That's what Sephiroth does.
"What?"
Sephiroth draws himself up in his chair and locks eyes. "Who do you think has killed more innocents? The Demon of Wutai or the Director of the Research and Development Department?"
That causes a reaction. Hojo fights a flash of anger into something more simmering. The threat is there now. He's stepped out of line. He's done it before and it has always turned into pain for him. Yet, Sephiroth is gone. In an hour, he will meet the group going to Nibelheim and Sephiroth will leave Midgar permanently.
He waits for a response.
Hojo finally picks his words. "Did you count?"
That earns him a blink. "What?"
His teeth shine in the overhead lamp. "Did you count how many innocents you killed?"
"No."
"I have not either." Hojo taps his fingers together. "So do not argue a point if you do not have the data. State your name for the record. We have limited time."
They sit across from each other. This will be the last time that they look at each other. Maybe someday Hojo would reclaim his body but this is the last time Sephiroth will sit in this chair.
The words drift through Sephiroth's mind and he lets them out unfiltered. "I have not killed the children that you have. That I know for sure."
Hojo's moment of pause makes it worth it.
He hides it by rising, reaching for the camera and adjusting the lens. "I have not killed all the children in my possession. Not yet. You know this. Acutely."
It's a win. A small one at that.
"Do-"
Hojo cuts him off. "Your name is Sephiroth. You are 27 years old. It is September 22nd, 2002. This is the start of our interview."
The camera clicks and focuses as Sephiroth takes a breath, trying to hold back the tightness. There will be no more after this. He can tolerate one more time. Sephiroth will not win. The man who is sitting back down has always outlasted Sephiroth's strength.
Hojo has remained untouchable to him, even now. He had been the one to have his hands on his body time and time again when Sephiroth had fallen, pulling the weaknesses out of him.
It is only unfortunate that he did not take Sephiroth's ability to feel.
Hojo glances at his screen, reading the lines there. "So the war is over. You have been retired from the front lines. You have failed to defeat your lover-"
"Friend. I never touched Genesis. He never touched me." The words are without emotion. It is pointless. The rumor is more alive than he is at this point.
The corner of Hojo's mouth pulls up. "Of course. I will have to find another way to describe how the corruption has spread."
"I am not ill." Sephiroth fights the smile at the truth of this statement. Sometimes, late at night, he still takes a moment of pleasure in massaging the capsule under his skin. It doesn't feel like a victory but knowing that the claws of Shinra have been forced to retract does something. He knows something about himself that Hojo has yet to figure out.
"He defeated you."
Sephiroth nods and leans back. "Yes."
Thinking about this brings back the phantom hands that caught him as he fell. It had been odd to watch the bruise bloom against the side of his face. Genesis had hit him hard but had apologized to him in his own way.
"Are you sure that you don't want to use that excuse? The other option is a personal failing."
The camera records on. The glass eye watches.
"The reports state that he tricked me. I thought it was a willing surrender. A change of heart. He struck against me when my guard was down."
"Then if you are not weak, you are a fool."
Does it matter? Midgar moves on beyond them. The cars drive the highways. People clock in and out of work. They fall in love. They get their hearts broken. They suffer under a steel sky. They shape their lives in a way that has never been possible for Sephiroth. A life that he never got to have. Would it be possible for him now?
No.
How could it be?
"Maybe I am."
"That is not proper behavior for a SOLDIER." Hojo glares at him and his tone is sharp.
It makes Sephiroth relax. It's familiar. This is a path that they know well but at least this time he doesn't care.
"You said that I was retired from the front. What does it matter?"
"You are going to go see Genesis. I want to make sure your priorities are straight."
He blinks slowly and stares out the window. "And what are those priorities?"
"Kill the bitch."
Sephiroth closes his eyes. This can't continue. He can't keep doing this. He can't keep hearing orders like this. His chin dips. He knows it does. His bangs trace a line down his cheek with the motion. He shoves down the emotion. Soon enough, he'll be free of all of this.
Hojo continues. "Don't let it happen again. After the morgue breakin, you are already on thin ice. It's not changed."
He has to wonder what will happen if that ice breaks. What could be the worst that could happen? How could it get worse than this? Sephiroth refocuses, opening his eyes on the man across from him.
And sees her standing behind him.
"You should not have any concern about that matter." Sephiroth pauses. "I am not who I was last time I saw him."
She is present in his life. Her naked body standing behind his chair, quiet and motionless.
It is moments like this that she comes to him.
"You don't understand." Hojo's hands press into the table. His knuckles go white and he half rises. "If you fail this time, especially with Zack Fair's help, I will have the evidence enough to bring you into R&D."
Hojo leans close, his voice going quiet. "To make you disappear."
Sephiroth knows that he should feel moved by this statement. He is not.
The naked woman walks. Her feet pad against the carpet. She is slipping around the table, her eyes watching Hojo. As usual, the professor takes no notice.
"That's impossible. Shinra would not approve."
Hojo wakes up a tablet on the desk and spins it around to show him. It's a floor plan. The lines are simple and professional. It is a small room with the furniture already arranged, a bathroom added on. There is one door in and out. An observation window is noted. Cameras are built in the corners.
It's a cell.
"What is this?"
The naked woman's fingers trail the surface of the table. Beads of water tell him where she has touched. They shine in the lights of the lamp.
The pleasure in Hojo's smile is unmistakable. "Your new home if you don't come back with Genesis' head."
Sephiroth can't focus on her.
"This is a threat." The danger is now sharp and real. It wakes something up in him. It has always been his choice to leave but now it seems as if even that could be stripped away. Shinra may be completely inhospitable to him.
"It isn't if you don't disappoint." Hojo closes the tablet and settles back in his chair.
Don't disappoint. Those words echo in his head.
"You are just my doctor," he says.
There is a laugh in Hojo now. "I have crafted you since birth. I am more than your doctor."
No. That was Mariella. That was Orlin. That was Genesis. That was Angeal.
The naked woman settles next to Sephiroth. She sits against the edge of his desk, her body turned towards him. The edges of her lips are turned up. Her hair drags over her shoulder as she looks at Hojo and then back at him.
"I will not come back." There is a confidence in Sephiroth's voice.
Hojo smiles. "You will."
She leans towards Sephiroth. Violence glimmers in her eyes.
Sephiroth strains to keep himself level. "To this?" He gestures at the black screen. "To a cage?"
"Is this textbook denial?" Hojo asks. "Have you not seen the bars already around you? What difference does it make if they become literal?"
Water drips off her chin. They patter against the carpet. Her words come soft in his ears.
Kill him.
"There is a difference," Sephiroth says.
Kill him now.
"Are you so sure?"
Rip out his throat.
Sephiroth holds his breath against the roof of his mouth.
Tear out his tongue.
He's not sure whose words make him rise to his feet.
Hojo crosses his arms and looks up at him. "If you leave, your body will destroy you from the inside out. You will suffer. It will be worse than death, worse than a life in R&D."
Sephiroth ignores her eyes and the silence at his actions.
"Perhaps there is something to that," Sephiroth admits. "Or perhaps you are wrong."
Hojo's smile is deep and right. It eats into him. It's the same one that Hojo has carried his whole life.
"I've never been wrong about you, Sephiroth."
