Chapter 3
Ask and you shall receive
Lecter had stopped in his tracks, hand still on the handle and the door slightly ajar. She had asked him to stay and of her own accord too. He turned to look back at her; she'd risen from the bed and was walking towards him
"Come with me, please" she was now at his side refusing to meet his gaze. Dr. Lecter opened the door that lead out onto the top of the stairs and followed Clarice downstairs.
They both sat at either end of the kitchen table, each clutching a cup of earl grey tea, the vapor rising and disappearing into the atmosphere. The lights over the counter tops were switched on and provided a sufficient glow to the dark room. Clarice sat staring at her cup, lost in thought, battling the feelings and emotions inside. Dr. Lecter sat watching, with his head titled to one and his right arm brought up to rest on the chair back. The regret he'd experienced in her bedroom was making his guts churn. Clarice Starling could do many things to him, make him feel many things, and at this precise moment she was making him feel like running away and acting as if he'd been the one having the nightmare. He had to do something before he followed his instincts and ran away.
"Are we going to stay here sit in silence all night, Clarice?"
She took a sip of her tea and pondered the question. Setting the cup back onto the table she began to absently play with the ring it had left on the table top. Never looking up from the absent doodling, "That all depends on you doesn't it?" Raising his eyebrows in feigned shock "On me, how so?" Finally she made eye contact with him, the anger still burned in her; this was going to be good he mused. "I want some answers, doctor, and I want them now!!" Her fist slammed down next to the cup, knocking it slightly. A smile spread across Dr. Lecter's face at her determination, "Ahhhh, the Starling's cage is rattled and she wants to ask questions. Ok Clarice I'll play your little game, fire away." She looked him dead in the eye and asked "Why?" offering him no more she waited for him to respond.
"Why what, Clarice? You could be more specific with the question!!" his tone was low and playful.
"Don't fuck about with me; you know exactly what I mean Doctor! Why disappear for those years? Why come back after this amount of time? How come you chose me? Do I need to go on any further to clarify things for you?" her anger had yet to subside.
Dr. Lecter sat in his chair and watched as Clarice shouted at him, any other person would not have been so fortunate as to get away with it. She was different to others he'd met. She was feisty, determined, courteous and not at all self centred. Nothing she did was for personal gain; she treated others as she'd want to be treated herselfâ€more often than not getting nothing back in return. She had set up home in his head during the first meeting in the basement. He'd walk through the fires of hell for her, do anything for her and also had the knowledge that she felt the same, even if she did refuse to accept it. He didn't believe in God, but if he did she would be that God His eyes were firmly transfixed upon the person in front of him; she looked radiant, even more when she was angry. She was right though, he did owe her an explanation.
"Before we begin Clarice, I have one question for you"
Her eyes were fixed upon his "What?"
"This isn't some kind of trap to stall me whilst the good old FBI are on their way is it?"
Disbelief now clouded her face "You think I¹d do something like that? You really think I'd contact the FBI and keep you in my house? Do you know how that would look to them? The FBI agent having the prize asset on the 'Ten most wanted' drinking tea with her at the kitchen table. They'd all put two and two together and make five. So the answer is no, I've not contacted them nor do I have any desire to, Dr. Hannibal Lecter is safe for the moment!! Besides I thought you knew me better than that?" Starling had no idea what she'd just done, but the subtle smile on his face relayed the fact, once more, that her feelings for him were the same as he had for her. She wouldn¹t turn him in. "I was just checking Clarice, my freedom means a lot to me and I won¹t go back in chains, you should also know that by now." A short silence fell over them both. Dr. Lecter was the first to break it, "I believe you had a few questions you wanted to ask me?" For the first time she relaxed a little, settling down into her chair she began to get the answers she wanted, her voice sounded a lot calmer than she felt though "I'd like to know where you went once you'd escaped in Memphis?"
"Clarice, I'm sure you can understand I'm unable to give you my exact whereabouts once I got to a safer destination, purely because I may need to retreat there again someday. If you're asking what happened straight after my escape......."
Clarice cut him off, "I know you killed the ambulance technicians and a tourist. Then what did you do?"
"You already know what I did."
"I NEED TO HEAR IT FOR MYSELF!" Her anger had once more boiled to the surface. "I've killed people for being a lot less rude than you are at the moment, if you lowered your voice you'd find you would be a lot calmer and more in control of yourself."
"Is that a threat Doctor?"
"Just merely an observation Clarice, nothing more. Now would you like me to continue because if not then I will be on my way." He caught the slight flicker of panic, and intake of air, cross her face. "No, please continue"
"As I'm sure you know, I used the tourist's identity for a short while until I could get myself established and a few steps ahead of the authorities. You are aware that I tracked down and brought Freddy Chilton's existence to a fitting conclusion. Once I'd left the scene I retreated into the shadows and disappeared. No one has any idea of who I am, I am known by many aliases and always make sure to cover my tracks; after all we wouldn¹t want any mishaps to happen now would we?" He gave her a little wink at the last words. "Nobody is aware that I have returned to the US and am sitting here with you at this very moment."
She sat listening intently to him, hypnotized by his every word. She was not the FBI agent now she was just plain Clarice Starling, and she had no desire to call for backup or to attempt an arrest on him. Clarice was content with the ways things were, she felt happy with the way they were sitting and talking together. She finally realised he'd stopped with his explanation; he was not going to elaborate any more than he¹d already done so, so she asked another question "Why did you choose me?"
"Simple, you made me choose you!"
Clarice looked slightly puzzled at his response, "I made you!! How so?"
"You treated me as a human being. No one had done that for a long time. You saw past the crimes and my new found reputation and saw the man underneath. You were always courteous and receptive to courtesy; you battled me intellectually and shared yourself with me. I knew from our first meeting, in the dungeon, you were different. The first words you spoke told me so......you asked for my permission to speak with me; nobody who had come to see me had ever done that. You created quite an impression, one that has remained with me until this very day. I chose you because I saw the drive and passion inside, I knew you would do all that you could to get the result.......you're a fighter Clarice, always have been and always will be. You know what you want and you will do all things necessary to get it. I'd never experienced that with any of the others, you were imprinted in my memory never to be erased away."
Slightly embarrassed at his frankness she tried to hide it but knew she was unsuccessful. "Thank you Doctor, I've always wondered what made me different from the others, now I know." She sat messing with the handle of her cup, unsure of what question to ask next or if she wanted to know. "Dr. Lecter, why did you come back after all this time?" He knew there was only one reason why he had done so, but found himself avoiding it entirely, "To tie up a few loose ends." A slight look of disappointment pained Clarice; the answer wasn't sitting to well with her. "What type of loose ends?"
"You ask a lot of questions don't you?" he joked with her.
"I've had a lot of practice! A small smile creased her features. Lecter couldn¹t let it pass, "You should smile more often Clarice, it suits you."
"If didn't know better, Doctor, I'd say you were trying to flirt with me." she was unable to stop the words flying out before she realized what she'd just said.
"Maybe I am, Clarice" He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table determined to correct his mistake at answering her previous question. "There was another reason I came back..." Clarice remained silent. "I thought that once I'd escaped and had my freedom I would be content for the rest of my life. For the first few years I was, I enjoyed the feeling of being able to go out when and where I wanted, do what I wanted and with whom I wanted. Over time it changed, I had a void inside of me that couldn't to be filled, no matter how free I was. There was only one way and one person who could do that." Hannibal got up from where he was sitting and walked to her side, he bent down to look directly at her, his maroon eyes fixed upon her blue, "You were what I wanted. I knew then I couldn't live another day without seeing you, so I came back for you. I've been coming here for months to watch you sleep, content at seeing you but always wanting more. Longing to talk with you, to hold you and dare I say it, to kiss you! You hold the key to my heart Clarice. I'm in love with you and want you all to myself, to finally have my little Starling."
She shook her head as if to get his words from echoing around her head "No no on no no NO!!" was all she could say. Dr. Lecter was expressionless while watching the turmoil she was in. He knew she was battling her feelings, trying to suppress them as she had done so many times in the past. Now was the time she had to admit them to herselfâ€.now was the time she could no longer hide from them. She stood up and went towards the front door "I need to get out of here; I need to clear my head."
Lecter went towards her, "Clarice you're hardly dressed for an expedition outside, you don¹t even have any shoes on." Turning to face him and opening the door at the same time, "See if I care..." and with that she ran out into the cold night air.
More to follow on soon
