No Life Flower!
Chapter Fourteen.
Bullets and Butterfly wings
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A feeling came over Kouga as Kagome's eyes twittered open; it was a sensation he never knew existed. It was of pure happiness and gladness for someone else, besides himself. "Kagome, be careful don't move so much. Don't speak either, you'll waste your strength, just rest."
Ignoring him, Kagome went on trembling, moving her hand upward into the air grasping at nothing. A shimmering tear bled down the side of her cheek. "Inuyasha…I didn't mean to…hurt…you." she cried in a gentle moan.
Kouga made a hard noise in his throat. He couldn't stand to see her this way, she looked completely broken, helpless, and disheartened. Interlacing his fingers through hers, Kouga brought her hand back down to her side. "It's okay Kagome, Inuyasha is safe." he assured her in a gentle tone, he didn't want her worrying, he was sure the strain would be too much for her.
Kagome's raspy breathing concerned Kouga gravely. Through the wool sheets, which covered her, he could see her chest pumping swiftly meaning she was fighting to keep breathing. She turned weakly to look at him. Her face was placid and sickly looking. Her eyes were weighted, and bloodshot, and the dark circles ringing the bottom of her eyelids made her look almost dead. Kouga choked back a rush of emotion that threatened him at seeing her this way.
"What happened, I—I don't remember?" She questioned, her eyes slightly widened as she realized who sat in front of her. "Kouga, oh, I am s-so sorry, for hurting you…I didn't me to." she said taking deep breaths, as a second tear slid from her eye.
Brushing his middle and index finger over her pale-dry lips, Kouga sought to silence her. He shook his head. "No, don't be sorry, I know it wasn't you. I know you would never hurt me."
Immediately—as if not being able to look at him—she stared up at the ceiling. "I hurt so bad, yet I can't figure out for the life of me why? I don't remember what happened in the end. How did I end up here?" she wondered, rather panicked that she couldn't recall, and a bit curious as well.
He didn't want to scare her with the details of that night; he thought it might send her over the edge. Kouga wasn't fearful of much, but that night, when he saw what happened, and wasn't able to do anything about because of a spell, he became very scared. He never wanted anything like that to happen to Kagome again.
Taking a deep breath, Kouga prepared a thorough explanation—one that wouldn't bear too much frightening details, but enough to where she would get the point. "Well, you shot yourself trying to stop you from shooting Inuyasha. You succeeded, but you were badly injured. Everyone thought you had killed yourself. Miroku said to me that some woman named Kaede explained that by shooting yourself with an arrow made up of your purifying powers, you had cleansed yourself of all evil, hence Koichi no longer holds apart of you. Although, because of you did that, you strained your heart, and wounded yourself badly." Kouga explained to the best of his knowledge. He didn't know much of the after affects of the situation, as he hadn't followed them back.
Kagome gazed deep into Kouga's eyes, feeling out his emotions, as if he was a picture book. It made him want to look away, he didn't want her to know how he felt, and didn't particularly know what was in his eyes, but he held firm. "Where's Inuyasha? Where is everybody?" she asked curiously.
He could sense the worry in her tone, and the intense panic that something might of happened. Kouga smiled mildly. "They are all fine. Sango, Shippo, and Miroku are waiting outside on my request. Inuyasha left before I got here. I am not sure where he went but I have my suspicions." he explained hoping to ease her mind slightly. He leaned back, placing the flats of his palms against the seeder wooden planks to prop himself up.
A twinkle of relief glistened in Kagome's bright chocolate eyes. Kouga felt the warmth of her relief reel up his spine. It made him happy to know, he had put her worries to rest. "Oh," She turned her head to the left away from Kouga, resting her cheek against the cushion of her pillow. "But, I have the strangest feeling like something bad is going to or has happened."
The happiness of easing her mind drifted from Kouga's heart replaced by a thin sheet of dried ice. Curious, however, of what she thought was going to happen, he decided to quench his thirst for an answer. "What are you thinking will happen?" he asked, thumping his fingers against the wood, one at a time rhythmically—it sounded like a heartbeat.
Kagome shook her head. Although she wasn't facing him, Kouga saw that Kagome's eyes had increasingly darkened; seeming deep in thought—it sent chill hustling up Kouga's back. In a calm voice, came her reply. "I am not sure, it's just a feeling I have." A loose, unbidden tear slid down Kagome's pale cheek uncontrollably. "Kouga will you promise me something?"
For a brief moment, Kouga pressed his rough lips together in a straight line thoughtfully, but quickly replaced it with a frown. He wondered what she was thinking, what would she want him to promise? His stomach turned just thinking about it due to the fact her voice sounded as though she was presenting her last will.
"Please Kouga, when I die, please will you look after Inuyasha for me?" she pleaded. "I know you don't particularly like him but please when I die, I want you to keep him from doing something completely obscene and reckless. Sango and Miroku will have each other, and Shippo will have both of them, but Inuyasha will have no one, because knowing he won't allow anyone. I just want to make sure he is safe before I am gone. Will you do me this last favor?" She questioned desperately.
Swallowing, Kouga ran his hand through his raven colored bangs. How was he to respond to this? A few seconds passed since she spoke, and he had already several reasons why he'd refuse, but how could he? How could he refuse her dying wishes? He sighed. "I don't think I am the best choice, I'll probably kill him before I help him." he stated truthfully, shutting his eyes for a short period.
"Actually you are the perfect one," Kouga's eyes snapped openly jarringly, he glanced down at her. Snuffing the air, Kagome went on. "Inuyasha is stubborn there is no getting around that, he is not going to open up to anyone, especially Miroku and Sango…because…he isn't one for landing his emotions on people's shoulders. It's irritating really, if he could just see that we all care about him, and let us help him, he'd be better off." Realizing she was sidetracking from the point, Kagome quickly got back with it. "It's because you and him can't get along that you are the perfect one for the job. You can speak to him bluntly without holding back—Sango and Miroku can't because of not wanting to hurt his feelings—you can tell him when he's going over the edge, or doing something stupid— "
"But it's not like he would listen to me—really Kagome you can't be seriously thinking this can you, I mean I can't deny you anything but this is one promise I don't think I can carryout." he said cutting Kagome short.
"No, you are wrong. Everything you have ever said to Inuyasha—he never took it lightly. When you call him a mutt or make a dog jokes about him, he takes it to heart, in fact it bugs him all day—he gets really sensitive. It's really aggravating sometimes, but the point is, he does listen to you, and for some reason I don't understand, your opinion matters to him."
Kouga threw his head back, and laughed hysterically. "You are kidding me right?" he looked her in the eye. "Listen Kagome, I know you care about Inuyasha and want to make sure he's safe and okay when and if ever you pass away, but this is not the way," The utter serious tone of his voice, unnerved Kouga, he just never thought he would talk to Kagome about her and Inuyasha without a snide comment following. "You know you shouldn't even be asking me to look out for Inuyasha, because you will be—you are not going to die. You are just being silly, this whole promise is silly— " Warmth brushed against Kouga's arm, it was the warmth of Kagome's hand.
Lightly, he gasped, looking her in the eyes. She gazed at him with a smile. "Just promise me." She closed her eyes, still with her hand firmly on his arm. "You don't know what it's like. When I go home—even at school—I constantly think about Inuyasha: is he okay, I wonder if he's wounded, did Naraku come after him again? I always ponder these questions, and always fear the answers. I just want to know that if anything should happen to me that he will be okay."
The sadness in her tone, and worry, caused Kouga's heart to speed up. Kagome had one thing wrong; he did know how she felt because it was how he felt every time he was away from her. He would always feel a strong love for her, but now he had to give her away to Inuyasha, she was his now. He had to remember that. "If I make this promise to you, will it ease your mind?"
She nodded.
"All right, I will but you have to promise me something first."
She looked over at him; there was a tint of pink to her cheeks. She was blushing! He smiled. "Promise me that you will get some rest, and stop acting silly! You are not going to die okay! That's just stupid, like any illness would want to harm you, you are to pretty, it would take one devious look at you, and go the other way—nobody, and nothing in the right mind would want to hurt you."
Laughing weakly, Kagome moved her hand from his arm, and nudged him in the shoulder. "Shut up Kouga, flattery isn't going to get you anywhere," she smiled. "But thanks for the laugh."
He inclined his head. "No problem, but seriously, don't worry about dying anymore because you are not going to okay, so now promise me."
She snuffed the air, and bit her lip thinking for a moment, and then said, "All right I promise, I will sleep, and not think about dying." Kagome looked deep into Kouga's eyes. "Okay now you have to promise me."
His stomach welled up—it felt bubbly. Reluctant to accept the promise but knowing what was at stake if he didn't, Kouga hesitantly replied, "All right, all right, I promise I'll look after Inuyasha." It was funny, after he made the promise her irregular breathing seemed to calm.
Kagome blinked. "What no Mutt-Face, of Dogface, or any other humiliating dog names?"
Sitting forward, Kouga crossed his arms against his chest. "So what I called dog boy by his real name, what's the big deal?"
"What's the big deal? You never say Inuyasha's name, or at least not without altering it slightly, but most the time you call him something cruel. I just find it strange that this whole time we've been talking about him, you haven't said one thing mean about him."
He glared at her. "Yeah so what?"
Kagome smiled, shaking her head. "Nothing, I just think that you are beginning to like him a little more that's all, I just don't think you hate him as much as you use to."
Kouga raised a brow, and then arched his head to the right. "You got to be kidding me, I still don't like him…I just can see thing differently is all." The uncertainty in his tone, unnerved him, he shivered.
"Right."
Everything was different to him now nothing was the same anymore. He wasn't that stubborn idiot he was a couple of days ago, seeing what happened to Kagome and Inuyasha, had changed him. Kouga didn't know how it happened but it did, and he couldn't help but be glad for it. "Thank you Kagome."
Puzzlement was written in detail upon Kagome's face, she stared at him for a moment, and the said, "For what?"
Kouga shook his head. "I'll tell you someday but for now, you should get some rest. I'll watch over you as you sleep."
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Emptiness. A surreal darkness, one impenetrable by his human and youkai mind. A heated blanket slipped between his bones, and his flesh, making him feel as though someone had lit a fire, and was burning him from the inside. His breathing quickened in a fast paced heave. He was choking. A panicked sensation erupted from inside him, he felt confined, confined to the shadows. A claustrophobic feeling began to scrape at the edges of what little light was left.
Where was he? Where had he gone? Who was he? These questions still remained a mystery to him. He knew whom he was by name, and remembered his life, but couldn't figure who he was as a person.
Inuyasha was his name. Inuyasha—speaking his name was like a soft hiss from the mouth of a snake, calm, yet tantalizing against the tongue. But it was just a name, a trivial name that did not imprint any thoughts on who he was as a person in his mind.
Why is this so important to me all of a sudden, and why can't I find an answer? Inuyasha's soul wondered deep in the back of his mind, drifting solemnly through the endless roads of darkness. Everything is so empty, lost, perhaps…I don't know? He was so perplexed; he couldn't even understand how he had come to be here. Yesterday, the day before, and the day before that had somehow vanished from all recognition, it was strange, he just couldn't recall.
Drip. Drip. Drip. A sound of water from a faucet fell slowly into nothingness. The darkness began to stir like a phantom lurking in the shadows waiting to attack. Time seemed to slip away, unaffecting the ripples in the fabric of life. The heat that once marred his body contracted, he felt cold as if he was lying in freezing water.
He just wanted it to go away, everything, why couldn't it just fade. He wanted to awake from this nightmare, this nightmare that ate and stung at his heart, but he couldn't find the exit at the end of the tunnel, the light was dull. There was no clear path. His stomach knotted, twisting and turning in all possible directions, and positions. He felt sick, nauseated. He felt himself distaining from whatever was left of his true self, of who he really was. The place of his belonging, it was so far out of reach, he could even sense it anymore, or acknowledge it as every being.
What is going on, I don't even understand it anymore…what happened, why am I so confused? There is no reason…my thoughts, why are they so complex? Me, myself, my true self…I am Inuyasha and that is all that matters? But then, why did this question torture him so?
A reason for being, a place of belonging, why was this so important to him? He already had it, revenge that was his reason. Belonging, who cares, he didn't. Still, why was he thinking about this stuff now? In this instant, he just wanted to curl in a ball in the corner of this dark place he had created for himself, and just fade. He was scared, scared of what, though? He had never been scared of anything in his whole life, or so he had told himself on numerous occasions.
An irreplaceable loss. It was like someone had pierced their hand through his chest ripping out his heart, cutting it, and shredding it to meaningless meager pieces of nothing. What was all this? These feelings, were they really his?
A faceless darkness, eyes so amber yet, empty. Where was that liveliness that should fill the gaps in those golden orbs, was there ever any? He couldn't tell nor remember. He so badly wanted to color in the face, as the face should reveal all of who you are as a person. Deep in your eyes, your soul sits like an open book revealing all of who you are deep inside—no secrets are hidden. Although sometimes a person can over look the souls reality, as sometimes the secret truths are accidentally or willed into being hidden behind the clouds like the ever so secretive sun. It so bright, but it's just a façade covering the pain, and the reality. It was strange though; his soul couldn't reveal anything of truth to him. His soul had been fabricated over and over, and now it only sat inside of him as a lifeless rag doll, dwelling in the pits of sadness and confusion.
I don't want to be here anymore, the corner had discovered him, pulling him into its murkiness of false security. Everything, go way—just—go away! But that security just wasn't enough, he screamed, and shouted like a small child trapped in a scary nightmare, needing his mother to wake him, and hold him, to comfort him, tell him everything would be all right. Of course, he wasn't that confused; he knew there would be no comfort. His mother was dead. Comfort, it wasn't real.
The darkness that pricked and groped Inuyasha's flesh, he could feel it withdrawing, pulling back. No, the darkness wasn't the one pulling away, Inuyasha was just rising above it, he was grasping towards the light, the ethereal warmth. He couldn't take it here anymore, his head was filling with nonsense, he knew who he was truly, and he knew where he belonged—he was just confused, and when he awoke, he wouldn't be.
His vision was blurred, his chest burned, and his mind was in a disarray, but he could surely see an outline of silver. It was a youkai, he could smell it, and the scent was one he could never forget. Bemused, he quickly, faintly smiled. "Hello brother, what's going on?" He asked innocently in a childish tone. A wall blocked him from finding what had occurred beyond the opening of his eyes. His head ached from a massive rapping pain. His throat was dry, he felt queasy, and his body was numbed with pain. What is going on, why do I hurt so badly?
Quickly, Inuyasha's vision recovered. The image of his brother sprung out with more clarity. Sesshoumaru was frowning at him with a dead like gaze. His slender form, clothed in white, was kneeling before him, which seemed to confuse him the most. How did his brother get so tall, he was only 14 years old? "Jaken?" Sesshoumaru muttered. His tone was cracked and dry, but very deeply quiet, which surprised Inuyasha gravely.
A small toad like figure scampered to Sesshoumaru's side, almost tripping over his large two headed staff. "Y—Yes m' lord Sesshoumaru?" he said, wheezing for breath. Inuyasha could easily identify the youkai as his brother's personal servant.
Sesshoumaru's eyes never shifted from Inuyasha who held his gaze. He was so confused, it hurt his head, he felt like his scalp would split open at any given moment. "Take Rin, Ah and Un away from here, but don't move too fare." he ordered.
Jaken's staff began to twitter about in his clutches, as he fought himself from choking. "But, m' lord— "
Sesshoumaru—knowing that Jaken was heading down the wrong path—cut him off to avoid further damage. "Jaken do as you are told." This little scene playing before him, jogged a memory of how Sesshoumaru hated when Jaken would question him, this caused Inuyasha to smile.
Bobbing his head, Jaken said. "My apologize lord Sesshoumaru, I will escort the child from these parts, as you've instructed." Immediately, he turned from Sesshoumaru, looking at the energetic young child, who was chasing butterflies. She seemed so into what she was doing that she didn't even notice them, nor that she was soon to leave. "Come along Rin, we must go play somewhere else." Jaken squawked, carefully choosing his words—not wanting to upset his lord, Inuyasha could clearly hear it in his struggling voice.
Looking—finally—away from Inuyasha to the two, Sesshoumaru waited a few more minutes, until Jaken had gotten Rin further than the human eye could see, and once that was done, he returned Inuyasha. A sibilant breeze wavered through his hair, rustling the silver tresses lightly back in forth, and tickled Inuyasha's nose. The sensation caused the hairs on the back of his neck to bristle.
The silence unnerved Inuyasha, and his unanswered question made the feeling worse. What the heck is going on? He shouted in his head, but regretted it deeply later. A migraine had scrounged through his head, making him moan slightly while squinting his eyes trying to bare the pain.
"Inuyasha, why is it that whenever I see you, you are in a some sort of predicament?" Sesshoumaru questioned in his smug, cool collected voice.
His smugness aggravated Inuyasha, and he didn't know why, but for some reason he wanted to shout a witty comeback at him, but found he could only bit his lip. Predicament? What predicament, I don't—the breeze passed over him again, numbing the tip of his nose, and forcing his ears to twitch—Wait minute… His eyes widened to his dismay, but his expression quickly contorted into a smooth grimace. "How the hell did I get here, Sesshoumaru, what did you do to me, you— " he paused in the middle of ireful speech, suddenly recalling not only what was going on but the fact that he had been searching for Sesshoumaru. Kagome! Somehow he had forgotten everything up to a distant point in his childhood, but slowly everything hand uncoiled itself, and he found himself recalling all that was unremembered.
"I haven't done anything to you, yet, Inuyasha." he explained, weaving a small threat into a casual response. It was so Sesshoumaru like, using as little words as possible to get a point across that he at anytime would strike him down.
Inuyasha gaped at Sesshoumaru. Forcing his gaze to be dark, bitter, and down to earth. He wanted something from Sesshoumaru, and was damned if he didn't receive it right this minute. "Sesshoumaru I need your help." he spat celerity. He couldn't waste no time. It took his all to get those words out; they were words he thought he would never utter in a million years. They were words that left a sour, bitter taste in his mouth.
If Sesshoumaru was shocked by what he had said, he didn't show it well, the only trace—if there were some shock—would be the taut skin around his eyes. Other than that, he seemed quite calm—in a rather dark way. He snuffed the air in contempt.
Inuyasha lowered his head. He knew it wouldn't be that simple, nothing dealing with his brother ever was. He should've known better that spitting out sentences with no explanation in them was foolish, and would get him nowhere fast. "Listen Sesshoumaru, we've never gotten along for as far as I can remember, but just this one time could you please just help me with no hesitation. Kagome is dying, I need to borrow Tensiega to heal her…please?" he pleaded, choking hard at the end. Needles while he spoke pushed into his stomach repeatedly, sending sharp pain up his chest. Begging his brother, was the hardest thing he ever had to do in his life, but for Kagome he had to. He just hoped that Sesshoumaru would see how hard it was to ask him of all people for help, and would comply generously.
Sesshoumaru stood from the ground, turning away from Inuyasha. "I already knew what you wanted, it was only obvious. I could smell the girls rotting scent from here, and days before now, but if you think I will help you, you are gravely mistaken."— as Sesshoumaru spoke, Inuyasha hardened, anger flaring within him, he could feel rushing towards his features— "That weak human, you don't need her Inuyasha, you should be happy she is dying."
Sesshoumaru's blatant disregard for human life—especially Kagome's—made Inuyasha's stomach churn. Wildly, he stood from the ground, fist balled, stomping his right foot harshly against hard dirt compost. "Damn it Sesshoumaru, I don't have time for this, I need your sword, and I need it now. I don't care how much you despise humans…if you won't give it to me, then I'll just take." He yelled ruthlessly without thinking.
At that moment, Sesshoumaru pivoted, facing Inuyasha with sheer bitterness. "Why should I help you, what would I get out of it?" For a brief moment, Inuyasha could've sworn that something in his eyes had startle Sesshoumaru, for his lips pursed dejectedly, and his eyes seemed deep in thought. There was something else behind his eyes as well, but Inuyasha couldn't figure out what it was. But that was only for a meager moment. A devious smirk curved upon Sesshoumaru's lips, biting deeply into Inuyasha's bones. "How about a trade?"
Inuyasha raised a suspicious brow. "What kind of trade?"
Sesshoumaru motioned towards his sheathed sword, his eyes darkly narrowed. Inuyasha's heart sank in his chest. Inuyasha should've known. Sesshoumaru wanted the Tetsusaiga in exchange for the Tensiega. It was only fitting that after months of fighting over the fang sword, it would come down to a simple agreement, he laughed mentally, fitting, ha! There was nothing fitting about it. Inuyasha was a fool; to believe for one second Sesshoumaru had given up his witch-hunt for the Tetsusaiga, so he had told Inuyasha a while back. Funny, he had almost believed his sincerity that day. He should've known though, that Sesshoumaru would never give up on what he so desperately wanted to covet. The sword his father—who Inuyasha barely knew—left behind for him. The only existing memory he had left of him.
"An eye for an eye, little brother. I will give you Tensiega but in return you will forfeit your sword, and relinquish your right arm to me so I can use it." As he spoke, Sesshoumaru held Inuyasha's gaze, his eyes scouring through Inuyasha's, as if looking for something. He was only looking for self-satisfaction, Inuyasha told himself. Deep down though, he didn't believe it. Sesshoumaru was looking for much more than that, he wanted to know how fare Inuyasha would go to save Kagome, and how much he could gain from it. He was testing the waters for greed. "What do you say Inuyasha, do we have an agreement?"
Scalp tightening around his skull, Inuyasha let out a saddened sigh. He didn't want to give up his sword, it was all he had left of memories he never had, and never would. He would never get a chance to be with his father; never get a chance to seek answers to questions that burned his human soul. Answers to questions that seemed so out of reach that when he tried to gain some closure on them he would feel queasy, his heart would ache, and he would impulsively pull away. The answers were caged, locked from him behind burning doors, and now Sesshoumaru wanted to take away what little closure, and comfort he had in his life.
His sword.
The Tetsusaiga was a present from his father, a symbol that he cared, and didn't abandon Inuyasha as a child. His father was never there for him. Inuyasha's earliest memories of him, was when he left him and his mother at a village. A village that tortured him for being different, insulted him until he cried, and beat him until he was paralyzed in pain, and drowning in a pool of his own blood. His father was never there then: never there to comfort him, never there to stanch up his wounds, and stitch up his scars, to tell him everything was all right. The only remnants Inuyasha had that his father ever did care or think about him in the least, was the Tetsusaiga—the sword his father had planned to give him, a symbol that Inuyasha was loved, even if he didn't know it or feel it in his heart.
Listening to the rapid pulse of his heart as he thought, Inuyasha began to relax to its steady beat. It was almost musical. His stomach was knotted, and a lump had formed in his throat so large that when Inuyasha tried to talk he would choke instead.
On the other hand if he didn't give up his sword to Sesshoumaru, then he would never be able to save Kagome because so fare, Tensiega seemed to be her only chance to sustain life among the living. He would never let her die, he had made a promise. A promise to Souta, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kaede, and even to Kagome herself, but most of all he promised himself that no matter what the cost he would not let Kagome down, would not let her pass away from the world. These promises, he would never break, they were ironclad.
Kagome, she was such a gentle soul, and the first person not to treat him like gunk at the bottom of ones foot. She was different, though in the beginning he chose not to see it. He was too stubborn then, he just couldn't trust anyone. He always had his guard up, waiting for her to strike him, and it didn't help matters that she had a likeness to Kikyou. No one could blame him for the way he was, if they were to take a good look at his life. But she refused to allow him to ignore her, treat her like an enemy, turn his back on her, or treat her as something insubstantial. She fought him like mad to break his steel wall, and see that not everyone is out to hurt him; some people a there solely to mend your wounds, to make you feel alive, and not alone. That's how she made him feel anyway. She was his rock, his ground, she was what kept him alive, and showed him that life was not always black and white.
He smiled mentally; damn he loved her, loved her more than life itself. He shook his head, he could not let this girl who has done everything for him, and was everything to him, perish. He could not allow it, even if it meant giving away the thing most precious to him. He didn't care about his arm, it was too trivial, but his sword that was hard, although he could live without both knowing she was safe. He made a hard noise in his throat. Grimacing, he gazed into Sesshoumaru's amber orbs, and nodded. "Deal," he grounded sharply, and then said, "But first, I want to heal Kagome, and only then I will give you my sword and right arm." his tone was firm, hard, and untouchable, which pleased Inuyasha greatly. There was no way Sesshoumaru could fight him on it.
"I don't think so brother, I want the sword and your arm upfront or do you plan to have me do your gain of the deal and turn on me in the end?"
It looked like Sesshoumaru had found away after all. The pleasing feeling left him; Inuyasha snuffed the air, barely expelling a laugh. "So paranoid Sesshoumaru, that's interesting. You always seem so cool and collected, but now you act as if I have a knife hidden somewhere preparing to gut you the instant you hand over Tensiega."
Lips pressed in a firm thin line, Sesshoumaru starred Inuyasha in the eyes, never allowing his gaze to falter. His eyes were cold, dark, and unreadable. The harder Inuyasha tried to figure out what he was thinking, the worse his head began to ache. His temples pulsed, sending sharp blades of pain rocketing in all directions. He ignored the pain, and kept himself steady. He didn't want to appear weak in front of his brother. "Inuyasha, you mock me." his lips curved lightly into what could barely be identified as a smile. "You wish to save the girls life do you not?" Impulsively Inuyasha nodded, though heavily regretted it later. "Then I suggest you sever your arm right now, and hand over the sword, which is rightfully mine."
Inuyasha shivered. The bitterness in Sesshoumaru's voice was almost frightening. "I already told you I agree to your selfish proposal, what more do you want?" he sighed. "Listen, I don't trust you anymore. I was beginning to gain a likeness for it after you swore up and down a few months back that you no longer wanted Tetsusaiga because you had Tokijin, but now you tell me otherwise, and when I think you might have grown a heart because of Rin, I find I am gravely mistaken." Inuyasha paused for a quick breather, and then continued. "Now, listen here Sesshoumaru, it took a lot for me to come asking you of all people for help, because I swore long ago that I would never need you, or father, but yet again I found I was wrong. I am willing to give you my own arm, and my most prized possession, which as you know keeps me sane, but if you do not accept my terms, God help me, I will throw the whole deal and fight you to the death for it. That is how much Kagome means to me; I would sooner sacrifice my own life, if it meant hers was secure. Do you understand now Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha was surprised by his tone; it made him short of breath.
Silence followed Inuyasha's words; they filter over the forest with a vengeance. They shook ground below where Inuyasha stood. Even Rin and the toad had paused in their playing to look their way, as if they had heard what was said. A sharp swallowing noise formed in the center of Sesshoumaru's throat. Inuyasha could hear its sharpness stinging in his delicate ears, and through the pain it caused him; Inuyasha never took his firm gaze from his brother. Finally, Sesshoumaru looked away towards the ground. "She means a lot to you doesn't she—this pitiful weak human?"
Inuyasha nodded, his eyes never leaving Sesshoumaru's form. When his brother looked up, he would make sure his eyes were there to greet his. "More than you will ever know, or understand." The deep clarity of his voice shocked Inuyasha, but what really tugged at his heart was that he actually outspokenly admitted that he cared for Kagome, which was something he never could do. He was too stubborn. What was more surprising was that he had said it to Sesshoumaru.
Something shone behind Sesshoumaru's eyes, it was a deep longing of sorts, but where it had come from, he couldn't understand, and what it was for confused him more. Sesshoumaru ran his fingers through silver locks, throwing straying strands backwards. "I see. Well, if I am untrustworthy than obviously my trade isn't valid enough for you, and so I will be on my way." Sesshoumaru almost sounded hurt, but Inuyasha couldn't understand why? It was perplexing. "Ja— "
Hurriedly Inuyasha cut him short, placing a hand over his shoulder, as Sesshoumaru turned his back to him. "Wait!"
Sesshoumaru froze in his place, not bothering to turn around. "We've nothing further to discuss. I thought I told you once that a deal is not worth forging if there is no trust that it will be carried out, as promised." he pulled away from Inuyasha, beginning to head in the direction of Jaken and Rin. The child was still chasing butterflies, and briefly Inuyasha wonder how she had the energy for it. Closing that thought train, he followed after Sesshoumaru, who was slowly walking away.
Like blinking flecks of light in the sky, Inuyasha saw everything that he stand to lose viciously dying away. He griped Sesshoumaru's shoulder once more, this time in a more violent, tight, and unloosening manner. He would not let him leave until he got what he wanted from him. "Hand over Tensiega Sesshoumaru, either with the deal offered or not, either way I want it now. If I have to fight you, and kill you for it I will."
Finally, Sesshoumaru turned to face Inuyasha. His eyes were darker, darker than Inuyasha had ever seen them. It made him feel queasy. Something stood behind the sheets of darkness, something Inuyasha hadn't a name for, but whatever it was it made Inuyasha sad inside. He bowed his head for a moment, but immediately not wanting to seem defeated he rose up to glare him in the eyes. "What will it be?" he said for good measure.
Sesshoumaru shook his head. "Fight me all you want Inuyasha, I will never give you Tensiega. I was willing to make a trade but not under the circumstances you have created. I will not be involved in a trade as perverse as the one you demand to take part in." he made a hard sound in his throat. "I will take my leave now, whether it be fighting you until you fall while walking away, or in peace, which I'd prefer, it's up to you."
Inuyasha dropped his hand from Sesshoumaru's shoulder in utter amazement, but not in an awe-inspiring way, more like disgust. He couldn't believe it, Inuyasha just didn't think it possible, how could his brother be so cold, and cruel. He always thought him to a be a little on the cold side but not long ago this Youkai Lord before him—his flesh and blood—had come to him every so often with helpful advice when he was in a jam. Inuyasha always found it disturbing when he would come to him after he'd had a fight with Kagome, or that time when she had almost died from poison, and gave almost helpful advice out of pure kindness. But now, Sesshoumaru's blatant disregard for Kagome's life, and his feelings made Inuyasha sick.
It was almost as if Sesshoumaru knew what Inuyasha was thinking because he automatically turned around to gape at him emotionlessly. There was something in his eyes but Inuyasha didn't bother thinking about it, he was too sickened for details. He shook his head. "Man Sesshoumaru I always knew you hated humans, and had a cold disposition, where you wouldn't allowed anyone in but I never knew you were so cruelly cold that you could write off someone's life so easily, and a life that has helped you on numerous occasions. Don't even deny it because every time you do I will come at you and untie the denial wrapped around your iced heart until it is completely futile to get around the truth, Kagome has helped you, she saved Rin, she has even saved you, maybe not your life but in other ways, and so, I think you owe her, and I know you hate owing people. So why not break the debt and save her life." There was so much power in his voice that Inuyasha's throat became raw, and a pulse in his cheek began to rap in pain.
Immediately as if not wanting to let his emotions and thoughts leak out, Sesshoumaru shut his eyes. "I don't owe anything nor anyone Inuyasha," he said, walking away once more.
Almost hysterically Inuyasha began to laugh, unable to control himself, although, his laugh bore no joy or happiness only hollow bitterness. "Yeah run Sesshoumaru that's what your good at, fleeing before your box shatters. You see, you live in a steal-like transparent box, where only you and Jaken reside—because he is the only one you seem to be able to trust, even if its only by a hair—everyone outside the box you view as a possible threat or predator.
"If doing something means stepping outside the box—even for a moment—you turn away, and leave before something happens, possibly something good. You won't allow anyone in, won't take the time to care for someone for fear that that person might betray you, leave you, or die, you don't want to take the chance. Chances are like poison to your veins.
"Below your box is a milestone of stairs, where you sit at the very top, daring not to step foot on them, because if you took the time to walk in the warmth of life you fear you will not be able to let go even when you're hurt, and when you're hurt, all you want to do is return to the shadows, where pain seems mild when it's not. Not truly. It's sad really, but truthfully I was the same way once, and that burns the very tips of my fingers. But overtime I took a giant leap after being with Kagome for a while, and when my feet grazed the cool steps, I began to tingle with emotions and sensations I had never thought possible. A few days later I took another five stairs on after meeting Shippo, and then after a while of meeting people who became my friends, I found myself coming to the end of my journey from my box, but still I didn't take that last step, and still haven't. Someday, preferably really soon, I plan to take the last step towards freedom.
Inuyasha let out a deep sigh, before continuing. "Somehow Sesshoumaru, that little girl over there weaseled her way through the impenetrable layers of transparent steel straight into your heart, melting the thick layers of ice, and that scares you. Believe me when I say I know the feeling, I was there once, and I know the panic and fret that follow after. You start thinking things you shouldn't, start to feel things you didn't think was possible or that you deserved, and then you began to fear you might lose it that you might lose the tantalizing feeling of knowing that somebody out there cares for you, and doesn't look down upon you because you're different.
Inuyasha smiled. "You start to believe that maybe there is a chance out there for you, that maybe you weren't doomed to live and die an outcast, with no one there for you, but yourself. You start to think that you truly belong in the world, although people think differently, because you have her there correcting them, and covering your ears to spare you the pain. Sometimes she even yells at them for it, standing up for you.
Abruptly, Inuyasha stopped realizing it was obvious that he was talking about himself instead of Sesshoumaru, and quickly changed his direction. "Believe me Sesshoumaru, you will not regret allowing Rin into your box, but now all you have to do is walk down the stairs, and open your heart, because when you do so many greater things are possible. And if you allow this to happen to you, promise me you won't take it for granted because if you do it will sting like hell in your heart until the day you die and longer.
Letting his last words hang in the air until settling, Inuyasha turned his back on Sesshoumaru. What he had shared with Sesshoumaru was the life knowledge he gained from being around Kagome and the others. Knowledge, he himself had taken for granted, and for the last time.
Inuyasha didn't know what came over him, it was like he was going to explode, and had to let out the air he was harboring for so long, air tainted with emotions, which had lain dormant within him. He didn't understand it; all he knew was that he felt relieved. The release he had gained when speaking of things he had never thought would ever say aloud was invigorating to say the least. He felt a heavy weight flee his shoulders. He wasn't sure if what he said to Sesshoumaru had set in through his thick skull, and didn't care to search his eyes for an answer; however, before he went to leave he left his brother with some thoughts. "I will leave you with this Sesshoumaru, I want to you to think long in hard.
"If our positions were reversed and Rin was dying, and you came to me for help and I shot you down without a second thought, how would you feel? I'll tell you how I would feel, and I'll do it without modesty. It hurts like hell, it feels as though you standing over me with a knife in hand, and you are carving out my heart, and ripping away all that had made me whole. It's like I am being tortured, being burned alive for thinking that somebody could care for me without dying in the end. The way you talk about the situation Sesshoumaru, you make feel as though Kagome dying is some sort of punishment to me, for being different, for everything.
"If Rin were slowly deteriorating away right before your eyes, and there was nothing in your power you could do to stop it, how would you feel, and how would you feel if the only person who could save Rin happened to be your own brother—half or not—and he didn't give a damn how you felt one way or another and turned his back on you.
"You would feel lost, disheartened, dismantled, angry, miserable, helpless, and you would just want to crawl into a ball moving slowly inside yourself for protection. But then, you know by doing that would be the same as giving up, and you would be damned if you gave up and let the person that meant the world to you perish. You would want to fight, even if it meant your end, because that's how much you care, and how much out of the box you are. But if are situations were reversed, you want to know what would be different?
Inuyasha turned to face him with a light heartened smile. "I would've never turned away from you, I would've helped you, because I would've sympathized. I would never want to lose someone I cared about so dear like you were, and would do everything to help, unlike you who turns his back due to a few ruffled patches in our relationship."
With that said, Inuyasha began to turn away, daring not to look at his brother for he did not want to see what was in his eyes. Personally, he didn't care. As he turned away, a sharp stinging pain pulsed in the side of his cheek. Shifting his perspective to the right, he saw what was the cause of his sudden pain. Sesshoumaru had struck him with a tightly balled fist into his cheek. The intense pain caused his head to throb, and his vision to haze, but only for a slight moment. Again, Sesshoumaru lashed out at him, in what felt like a blind furry, this time, he rammed him knee into Inuyasha's stomach, causing him to wheeze. "Silence!" he cried. "You've no idea what you're talking about."
It was denial, sheer vile denial. Sesshoumaru did not want to acknowledge what Inuyasha had said as the truth, and Inuyasha knew it full well. Pummeling down to the ground, Inuyasha held his stomach. Wincing, at first from the stinging, burning, knotty pain, he turned his pained expression into a smile. "Don't I!" It wasn't a question, more like a statement of facts.
Composing himself, Inuyasha stood from the ground, keeping one hand over his stomach. Squinting his left eye, he used the other less pained one to gape at his brother. Sesshoumaru's eyes were darker than normal, but behind them Inuyasha could clearly see traces of shock, anger, sadness, fear, and bemusement. At that moment, Inuyasha knew that Sesshoumaru had absorbed every word said, and didn't like how it made him feel, which was why he lashed out. Smiling, Inuyasha said. "Sesshoumaru, thank you."
Sesshoumaru unknowingly raised a brow. He was puzzled. Inuyasha's smile deepened. "I would like to thank you, because I was confused earlier, so confused I felt sick, and lost like a child, but talking to you has made me realize a few things." he turned from Sesshoumaru, making his way through the forest back to Kagome. "I wish you would change your mind and help me out this one time, but it doesn't seem possible. I even offered up my right arm and sword and you still refused even though it was your own trade." Inuyasha grunted. "What the hell is it you want from me? I don't understand you?"
"That's right, you don't, so quit trying too." Right off the bat Inuyasha knew Sesshoumaru was regarding his statement towards what he had just said moments ago to him.
Pushing the lump in his throat downward, Inuyasha said, "I would quit, but than Sesshoumaru, I would be throwing away years of hard work. I've known from Kagome not to give up, even when it seems like a futile cause. Goodbye, brother."
~+~+~+~
"Kagome told me once that she dreamt of going to a festival in our time with Inuyasha." said Sango thoughtfully.
Miroku made an interested noise in his throat, and then again musingly. "You know what, I think I heard Inuyasha say something on the lines of that a few days back." he paused, bringing his hand to rest upon his chin. "You know, I think the Cherry Blossom festival his happening tomorrow."
Sango hmmd to herself deep in thought. "Do you think Inuyasha would agree?"
Listening in on the conversation from a certain point that he caught the gist of what they were discussing, Inuyasha approached the two if he hadn't heard a thing. He willed bemusement to his features, and said, "What would I agree to?" he looked from Sango to Miroku. "What are you two yammering on about over here?"
They were both startled, immeasurably. Sango slid from the wooden picket fence she sat atop, and Miroku pulled away from planks of fencing he propped himself up against. Sango coughed, and Miroku gaze into Inuyasha's eyes, and he could see the sheepish hand caught on a woman's rear look in his eyes. What were they up to; it was obviously something Inuyasha wouldn't approve of to produce such a look in Miroku's eyes. Crossing his arms against his chest, Inuyasha forced a suspicious gaze upon them hoping it burned into their very souls, and then hopefully they would tell all they were contriving behind his back. Easily enough, his plan was successful.
Sango sighed, moving to the front of Inuyasha, placing a palm upon his shoulder. Gazing into her eyes, Inuyasha could see a small amount of sadness, and fear. Fear of what he had no clue. Her lips quivered, as she tried to form words. "Listen Inuyasha before I say anything, there I something you have to tell me first." Sango paused waiting for consent to move on, and when Inuyasha nodded, she continued. "Well, Kaede stopped by a few hours back and asked where you were, and of course we had no idea what to say since we weren't sure ourselves. Anyway, Outsu had told us when we stopped by to see Kagome that you had left a few hours beforehand, and when we explained this to Kaede she wasted no time in telling us," She gazed deep into Inuyasha's eyes with such hope, it made Inuyasha's heartbeat speed up. "Inuyasha did you see Sesshoumaru, did you see your brother and ask him for the Tensiega, so we can heal Kagome, is there still a chance we can save her?"
Now it looked like his plan had failed him, he was most assured that this was not what they were conversing over a moment ago. Her words stung him. The on gash on his cheek—which he had early before returning cleaned until almost unnoticeable—throbbed in short-term rapping pain. He didn't really want anyone to know about his failure with Sesshoumaru. His heart ached just thinking about it.
No longer able to meet Sango at eye level, Inuyasha gazed at the ground, shutting his eyes. Confused, and not knowing what to do, Inuyasha let the words slip out. "Yeah. I did go and see him," Feeling their eyes beating against him, he unconsciously placed his back to them—pulling from Sango's hold—only making the tingling feeling of their eyes against his skin worsen. "I almost had it, we had a deal: my arm, and my sword for the Tensiega, and I was seconds away from receiving it but Sesshoumaru backed out. The funny part is that he is the one who initiated the trade." He let out a small joyless laugh that sounded somewhat like a hiccup.
A warm lively hand fell flat over his shoulder. Inuyasha tried to suppress his being startled by the gesture, but couldn't stop a light gasp from escaping him. Quickly he bit his lip, angry at what he had done. "I am so sorry, Inuyasha." Came Sango's voice, it was filled with such compassion, and sympathy that Inuyasha felt like screaming. He didn't want compassion, he didn't care for it, but mostly he didn't deserve it. If anything, Sango should be angry with him. He failed to save her friend.
Immediately as Sango's word sunk in, Inuyasha pulled away from her. "Don't be." Not wanting to think about it anymore, or have them be depressed around him, he went to change the subject. "So now that that's over, mind explaining to me just what you two were saying about me behind my back a moment ago?" Whipping his face clean of anything that might have slipped, Inuyasha abruptly turned to face them with a smirking façade.
Both looked away from him, and as they did, Inuyasha could see certain sadness in their orbs. What did he do to bring this about? Couldn't he do anything right without making people sad? Confused by the turn of events—he was supposed to be the only saddened one—Inuyasha said, "Well, spit it out! Why are you all acting this way all of a sudden?"
After a brief silence, Miroku shifted his gaze, looking deep into Inuyasha's eyes. He could see something dark within the blue of his eyes, but had no earthly idea what it was. Miroku folded his arms over his chest. "Well it's just," he sighed, unable to meet Inuyasha's gaze any longer. Was it something in Inuyasha's eyes, he had no idea, but Miroku quickly looked away from him. "As you know Inuyasha, Kagome doesn't have a lot of time left of this planet, and well, me and Sango don't want to let her leave without something special.
"I overheard you once talking to yourself about Kagome, and you wanting to take her to a festival, because she dreamed of going to one. Well, I just think— " Quickly, he corrected himself, placing a hand over Sango's shoulder. "We think that before Kagome dies you should take her to the Cherry Blossom festival and give her some fun in her last days. It will probably do you some good too Inuyasha, because you really need to tell Kagome how you feel before she dies, and let everything into the open so later on you don't have any regrets. I think she would be very happy to know— "
"Stop it!" cried Inuyasha, his voice sharp. "Just shut up!" They all jumped, startled by Inuyasha's sudden outburst. All three or their gazes met, forming a disfigured triangle.
Trying to catch his breath only to have it escape him every time Inuyasha continued speaking to the stiffened pair. "How could you, Miroku, Sango?" he hissed, looking from one to the other. "How could you betray her, give up on her so easily, after everything she has done for you? Both of you. She has stood by you two so many times, it ridiculous, and she has never once dreamt of giving up on any of you.
"Sango, you stole my sword, betraying my trust of you, and not long ago I don't think I would've forgiven you, but because of Kagome, I found I could. Your brother almost killed her, and yet she forgave him, and you who felt it was your fault. Your brother has caused a lot of pain, but Kagome, has never given up on helping you free him. You're her friend; she would do anything for you. Even now when she is sick, she still thinks about it, about you and your brother, how she so desperately wants to help you both, and won't give up until she finds away. So I wonder, how is it you can give up on her so easily?"
He glared at Miroku, pursing his lips, and then continued in his telling. "And you Miroku. When we first met, you stole Kagome's jewel shards, and when I wanted to kill you for it, she stopped me, and forgave you. You endangered both of our lives that day, and she forgave you. When she heard of the story about the hole in your right hand, she immediately wanted to help you break the curse, and begged you to stay with us, to better the possibility for your recovery. She has done so much for you, she has cared and tended to your ailments so many times I've lost count, and yet you abandon her in her time of need so easily. Just as Sango, Miroku Kagome although, sick still wishes to help you, but you do not wish the same for her?
Inuyasha shook his head in disgust. "I mean that's just pitiful, what kind of friends are you?"
The bitterness in Inuyasha's voice caused Miroku to flit a hand towards him. "But Inuyasha— "
Making a sharp unbidden gesture with his hands, cutting them through the air like a steel blade in the midst of battle, Inuyasha cried, "No! You listen here; Kagome has been nothing but kind, and caring to the both you. She has done everything for you, but you two can't do the same in return? And so I wonder if you ever cared for Kagome in the first place, or were the two of you just using her for your own selfish ambitions? At least, if you don't care about her, don't you think you owe debt to her to try and save her, I mean no one likes to owe people?
Inuyasha wiped the spittle from his chin with the edge of his palm. Not even bothering to look at them, and see how what he said had affected them, Inuyasha turned away preparing to leave. "She loves you both so very much, you're her best friends, and you're the only ones she has right now, I just can't believe you would give up on her without a fight. If the situations were reversed I know in my heart that Kagome would be up day and night, fighting to great lengths trying to find some way to save you, because that's just who she is, she cares about her friends more then herself. She doesn't care how much she gets hurt in the process, if you're safe in the end than she'll believe it was worth it.
Inuyasha could feel his heart burning into dust. He felt like something was clawing him apart from the inside. It was a horrible feeling in which he just wanted to crawl into a small dark hole and cry. He sighed. "But if you've given up on her, if that is your choice, then promise me you won't let Kagome know because it would tear her apart to know the people she cared about, and had fought like Hell for had given up on her from the beginning when it only seemed impossible.
"I am just glad to know that Shippo hasn't given up yet. You see, I saw him as I came up here, and heard him sitting in a corner, plotting with himself on all the things he could do to make Kagome get better. Unlike you, he sees all the wonderful things Kagome has done for him, and cherishes each and everyone: a family, a friend, a mother, those are all the things she has giving to him. Funny, I figured when I met with you two, you'd be doing the same, but boy was I wrong, instead you're here planning how she should die."
It was strange he didn't know what had come over him; he had never known himself to be so openly outspoken. It was like something inside him snapped, he couldn't control himself, all his thoughts and emotions came hurling out like an unstoppable waterfall: pain, loss, disappointment, love, anger, those were just some of the many emotions, he was experiencing.
At the word die Inuyasha felt his scalp tighten. He felt queasy, he wanted to vomit, but willed himself to allay the feeling, not wanting to appear weak and lost in front of them. He would not give them that; they didn't deserve to know how he was feeling. Repeatedly he swallowed but couldn't seem to rid the scratchy dryness in his throat. He felt feverish, but knew he wasn't.
Many times as he spoke to Sango and Miroku, he had thought himself to be too harsh, but then he didn't. What they had said had really upset him, they were her friends, and friends don't give up on each other. He just couldn't understand it, you don't give up on the people you love, its not right, it's like telling your heart not to beat, and telling your soul not to feel, it's just not possible.
Here he thought coming home empty-handed without Tensiega, they would be angry with him. He thought they would be angry and ask why he gave up so easily. "Inuyasha," they'd say. "You should've fought harder, you need to go back and fight, fight for Kagome who has fought for you. You can't give up now, we can never give up." Inuyasha wanted to laugh, it was a stupid thought, it was way off because instead he came back to find them not angry, but plotting the best way to let their friend pass on from the world. It was messed up.
Inuyasha couldn't stay here anymore, the more he did, the more he just wanted to break down, and breaking down was something he would never do in front of them, or anyone. Step by small step he walked away from them, unaware that he was walking at all. He couldn't see well anymore, if it was because of the tears that might be falling down his face, or the fact that his eyes burned, he didn't know. Blurred vision or not, he could spot a grove of oak trees ahead. Wiping his arm over his eyes, he tried to clean them of the haze, but ultimately failed in the end. A sharp pain like a thick needle or sorts impaled the bottom of his foot. Not really acknowledging the pain, but knowing that it happened, he moved his foot back a step, to perceive what had occurred. Undertow was an oddly shaped rock with a long pointed stem protruding through the top. Regarding it with bitterness, and a nod, Inuyasha kicked it to the side.
If Miroku and Sango had said anything to him, he couldn't hear or understand it, he was too far away from them. Not in the literal sense, but in the sense that he had drifted into his own little world.
He couldn't take this anymore, any of this, and with that he sprung into action. With fast movements barely coherent to the human eye, Inuyasha sped towards the opening into the forest of finely shaped trees, and bright green bushes, losing all cognizant. Everything today, had been too much for him. Tomorrow, he didn't know if there would be one for him.
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Author's note: Oh man I think this is my favorite chapter so far. I was getting annoyed by all the fluff, and getting tired of writing it. Don't get me wrong, I am a lover of fluff as much as the next person is, but sometimes you need a change. I love Sesshoumaru, and always wanted him and Inuyasha to like each other—brotherly wise—and so in this story I am going to try and dig deep into their relationship a little. There is going to be two more chapters left besides the epilogue. Now, aren't you wondering how the story will play out in two chapters? I mean if Sesshy won't save her, who will, or more importantly what will?
Jeez, I haven't updated this story in over a month! I am sorry people, I know I said I would update faster—and then I go slower—but life has been handing me too many lemons and it's hard to find the juicer underneath their yellow hides, because I swear my life is too full of them I can't see anything in my kitchen that come close to a juicer. But I don't feel like sharing anymore, I've said enough. I am not going to promise faster updates anymore, because I hate breaking promises—even if I didn't have a choice. Please don't be angry with me, and don't question me further on why I haven't been updating. I made this chapter extra long, and so please, just be happy, okay? I told you I need a juicer, and that's all you need to know, K? I plan to finish this story during the beginning of next month, but that's not a promise.
See you guys.
