Chapter 9
As December inched along, and Alana's days grew numbered, something strange started happening in and around the castle. The gardens grew dull, the white roses wilted, and the candles burned low and dimly. The castle was dark and foreboding, and Alana grew anxious. Thomas and the fairies tried to seem their normal selves, but she saw the shadows in their eyes. The fairies no longer glowed or sparkled, and their wings seemed to barely hold them up. Thomas seemed thinner, and a glaze had come over his eyes. With her departure so close, Alana grew frustrated that she didn't know what was happening, but didn't want to leave the castle in such a state.
As her days dwindled, she took to wandering the castle, saying goodbye to each room. It pained her to realize how much she would miss the castle, and had to force herself to remember why she was leaving. Thomas avoided her, and the fairies moved about so slowly that the castle seemed empty. Alana missed her hours spent with Thomas dreadfully, but whenever she went to find him, he was nowhere to be found.
The wind outside grew bitter and piercing. The day before she was to leave, Alana saw Thomas outside from her window. He sat in the middle of the bleak garden, his shoulders hunched over. She saw the chance to talk with him before she left, so she put on a crimson velvet cloak and a muff around her hands and went outside.
Her blonde hair was instantly swept about her face as soon as she stepped out. Not caring, she walked carefully on the thin ice that covered the ground to where Thomas sat. She sat down next to him, but said nothing. They sat like that for a few minutes, just looking out at the gray skies and feeble sun. The trees creaked in the biting wind.
"Thomas, maybe I should come back after Evemass," she said at last, her voice almost carried away with the wind.
He shook his head. "No, you will not be able to." His voice was heavy and tired.
"Thomas, I don't understand what's happening, but I don't want anything to happen to you or the castle," she said. "I want to be able to come back," she said, finally voicing the truth.
He turned to look at her, his green eyes full of resignation. She didn't like it, and she somehow knew that she wouldn't be able to come back.
"Alana… you shouldn't want to come back. It will only make it worse."
"Make what worse?" she asked quickly.
"You wouldn't be happy. I can't make it so… and you deserve to be happy."
"But so do you, Thomas!" She paused. "Just tell me why I couldn't make you happy. I tried so hard."
Thomas put his head in his paws. "You have made me happy, more than I can tell you. I thank you for making these last few months the best of my life."
She sighed. "Then I should stay."
"No, you must go home. You don't want to stay here."
"But that isn't home!" she cried suddenly, realizing the truth. "This is my home! This is where I've been happy!"
"Alana…" he trailed off.
"What?" she said, her voice revealing her desperation. "What don't I know? I want to know, I want to understand!"
He fell silent, as she began to shiver violently.
"You must go back inside," he said. Her body shaking with cold, she only nodded. He helped her stand, and then walked her back to the library. Taking her to the fire, he sat her down in a chair and then knelt in front of her.
"Alana, please try to understand. I didn't want to tell you because I wanted you to stay… I'm still the selfish young man I once was." He stood and walked to the mantle, staring into the fire. He sighed, as if preparing himself.
"I have lived here for five hundred years." He laughed sarcastically. "Five hundred long, miserable years. And all because of my… greed, my avarice." He took a deep breath.
"I was the prince of these lands, my father the king. The complete wealth and power of my station quickly went to my head. I had no desire to care for my people or the pain and poverty they were in. I had no cares for anyone but myself.
"The forest had long been forbidden to me. I had often been stopped in my attempts to enter it. I had heard that many treasures lay in there; gold, gems, elixirs that could extend your life." He paused, his eyes distant as if he could see beyond the fire. His voice heavy, he went on.
"When I was twenty, I refused to be held back any longer; I was a man, I could do whatever I pleased. When my family left to visit an uncle, I stayed behind. I grabbed my arrows and sword and entered the forest. I walked deep into the trees, until I could no longer see the sky above me. The air grew cold, and I knew I should leave, but I did not want to give up hope. So I stayed." He paused, and Alana sat in rapt silence.
"Suddenly, a great, glowing white light came from my left. I turned to it, holding my bow and arrow in my hand. Out of the trees galloped a white unicorn, its horn golden. I knew that no one had ever captured a unicorn, and so I raised my arrow and slew it through the heart." He paused again. His voice was intense, and Alana did not even dare to breathe.
"I had not even begun to think of what to do next when a sparkling of white dust appeared, and before I could run, it formed into a sorceress, dressed in white. She knelt down next to the unicorn, and placed a hand over its wound. The wound healed, but the unicorn did not move. She turned to me and said,
"'You have slain a pure and innocent creature, and for no other reason than greed. You shall be punished.' Then she disappeared, as well as the unicorn. Laughing it off, I left the forest and returned home.
"That night, I went to sleep a man." He paused. "But I woke up like this," he said, looking at his paws. His jaw tightened.
"My elder sister came home early. In the fury of the curse and my complete forgetfulness of how to act like a man, I… I killed her."
"Lilia…" Alana whispered to herself. Thomas looked at her.
"Yes. My parents come home the following day, but in the horror of her death and the hideousness of me, they fled. The forest has since wrapped itself around the castle, and the fairies have been forced under its spell." He fell silent.
Alana took a deep breath, trying to comprehend all that she had heard. It was what she had needed to hear long ago, and now she understood him, and realized why he was who he was. She admired him for coming so far, but pitied him for the weight of the things that bore on his mind. She looked up at Thomas, who stood hunched over the fire, her eyes filled with a new kind of understanding and compassion. She stood up and walked over to him, resting her head on his shoulder.
"You've learned your lesson then, haven't you?" she said softly. He looked down at her, his eyes filled with appreciation. She smiled at him.
"Yes, I have," he said resolutely.
She gave him an extra squeeze, and then left the library and went to her room.
She threw herself onto her bed. Although she now understood why Thomas was here, and why the fairies were here, she still didn't know the curse. Why had he demanded her father send a daughter to his castle? What had he expected her to do?
But perhaps he hadn't expected anything… perhaps he had just wanted company. Perhaps the curse was simply that he had been turned into a beast. But there had to be a way to break it, and Alana was mystified. Surely it wasn't that he simply learn his lesson, because he had already done that.
She took off her cloak and muffler and stared out the window. Standing up, she crossed the room to her balcony, gazing at the sad, lifeless roses. Five hundred years… he had said that she shouldn't want to come back, that it would only make it worse if she did. Everything was dying in the castle… perhaps that was it. Maybe the curse would only last five hundred years before everything died and ended. But that would mean Thomas would die! But what would her staying do, if she didn't know how, or couldn't, help him?
Alana sighed and looked around her room. She didn't want to go home; how could she be sure if her mother and sister would even notice she had returned? She sat down and looked at herself in the mirror. She realized how much older she looked since she had come here, and how much older she felt. Perhaps her family had changed as well.
She sighed and began to prepare for her last night in the castle. How was she going to say goodbye when she knew it would be forever?
Thomas sat in his room on the night before Alana left, trying to avoid all thoughts. He would die in a few days; it was time to let this life go. But he couldn't help but be nagged by the knowledge that his life had been worthless. If only Alana could know the curse, and know how to break it. Then he could still make something of this life.
But could she break it, even if she knew how? Did she love him? Or did she just pity him? He wanted to believe that, if she knew he would die, she would realize she loved him. But he would never know, because he couldn't tell her the curse.
The spirit of the sorceress bore down on the castle. He could feel her triumph, her exultant revenge. He knew she would go to great lengths to see him die a monster, and all his hope faded.
Lying down to sleep, Thomas' only comforting thought was that, even if his life had been of no value, at least he had loved.
Alana woke the following morning to an even more miserable day than the day before. The gardens were covered in a layer of ice that Alana had not seen yesterday, and the roses against the wall were shriveled and almost black. The candles along her wall were barely lit, and the sun shone pathetically in a gray sky.
Her heart was very heavy indeed when she dressed and went downstairs. Thomas was in the kitchen when Alana came in to get breakfast.
"Good morning," he said. Alana's heart sank. He seemed weak, and was sitting at the table hunched over. His eyes, she noticed, were dull and cheerless.
"Good morning," she weakly replied. They sat in silence as she ate her breakfast.
When she finished, he said, "Well, I suppose it's time."
She nodded and they walked slowly to the great hall. The brightest part of the grand room were the small decorations Alana had put up. The fairies fluttered in, opening the front doors.
Alana's horse stood in the walkway, saddled and ready to go. Alana hesitated, but then felt Thomas' paw against her back.
"Go," he whispered. "But take this," he said, holding out a healthy white rose. She stared at it in amazement.
"How-?" she began to say.
"Something to remember me by," he said, his voice unwavering. She took it gently.
"How will I know how you're doing?" she asked, looking up at him.
His mouth twitched, and she thought she saw a tear in his eye. "Keep the rose," he said softly. "No matter what."
She nodded, but suddenly threw her arms around him.
"I'll miss you," she whispered. "Thank you for giving me a true home."
He smiled. "You made it a home, Alana."
She returned the smile and he helped her mount her horse. The fairies fluttered around, securing her bag and tying her cloak.
"Goodbye, Thomas," Alana said, and before she second-guessed herself, she rode away. The fairies waved, but apparently it was too much for them, and they zoomed back into the castle. Thomas stood on the walkway, growing smaller and smaller as she trotted away.
"Goodbye," he said. "I love you," he added softly.
