Mars

Chapter 3: Why not he?

He stormed down the corridor foaming like a bulldog at the mouth and jumped upon his bed where he could hiss and moan in comfort with the anger bubbling inside his stomach.

"Why not me?" He yelled aloud to the empty room, furrowing his brow as his skin turned pink.

"Why not you what?" A feminine voice answered from nowhere.

He sat bolt upright, pulling the dagger out from under his pillow in bewilderment. "Who's there?"

Amorina emerged from the void and kneeled by his bed. He sighed deeply with relief and lay back down so he could look at her, sliding the dagger back where it once rested. "I am glad you are here, I need company."

"Because you're afraid of the dark?" She smiled. He told her everything when they shared nights, she supposed it was because she was the only one who wanted to listen.

"It's hardly surprising as everyone keeps jumping out of it!" He chuckled. "Why are you here?"

"I was lonely, rattling around. I needed a friendly face to communicate with. He is on his way to Germania where he will meet your..." She began.

"Father." Commodus sneered. "Yes, he had the pleasure of telling me. When he is gone he will leave none other than Gracchus as his spokesperson."

"I cannot think of anything you would hate more!" She replied. "He is leaving so he may council Caesar whilst he is out of the heart of the empire."

Once again he lay upon his back - proud and dignified. The room was hot and close in the summer night and sweat trickled down his face. He wanted someone to congratulate him on a job well done, but he had done nothing to be appreciated or applauded . Amorina now stood at the foot of the bed and looked upon his face. He was smiling faintly with some sort of hidden joy, which made her smile as it was a rare occurrence that his frown would be turned upside down.

"I did my best." He muttered.

"You always do." She nodded her head in response.

"But it wasn't enough. Still they despise me, detest me...hate me." He struggled to say the last words as they cut in to him deeper than a knife.

"The people will love you." She reassured him.

"Will they?" He was sceptical. "It's becoming less likely by the day" He seemed so mellow and unsure of himself.

"Your people will love you." She repeated it, what more could she do? Her pale blue robes fluttered in the warm breeze that was greatly needed from the window.

"Show me your love, seal it." He practically hissed the words. She was unsure as to what he meant. "Seal it. Seal your love for me with a kiss."

She climbed gracefully onto the bed, her skin shimmering in the candle light and pressed her red lips against his before lying her head gently upon his shoulder where he lifted a hand to softly stroke her hair.

"Do you love me?" She whispered.

"I'm trying." He replied earnestly.

"I see." She felt foolish for asking.

"Is that not enough? I am fond of you and you told me you did not love I, is that not so?" He also felt like a fool.

"I understand." She began to stroke his robed chest and nuzzled into his neck.

He looked at her hands. "I am tired."

"Then let us sleep." She rested her hand upon his breast and relaxed her head on his torso once more.

"Yes." He murmured, placing his free hand upon hers.

"Commodus." A strong female voice roused him from his dream. It was his sister who looked none too pleased.

"Yes?" He replied with equal strength.

"Come with me." She commanded.

"Why?" He challenged her.

"Because I need you." She emphasised each word individually.

He examined her face, she looked vexed and he would hate to be on the wrong side of her. He contemplated staying, challenging her commands, after all - he was the heir, was he not? But he could not do it, he could not send her away without hearing what she had to say. He loved her too much - he was devoted to her. He shuffled carefully out of his bed in the hope that Amorina would not awaken and followed his sister into the library, where musty books filled the walls.

"Why did you bring me to this terrible place? Full of Republican nonsense." He looked at every shelf of his father's collection.

"It will be yours one day." She informed him.

"And I shall burn it to the ground." He fixed a level stare upon her. "What is it you want?"

"I want you to stop behaving like a child!" She shouted at him, it was the first time he could remember her shouting at him.

"How dare you imply that I am acting juvenile?" He growled.

"Because you are! Don't worry, I shall let you get back to your woman." She sneered. "But first I will tell you to listen to father in future - don't just leave like a tyrant child!"

"I do listen to him, but he never gives me a chance!" He shouted back.

"He would give you a chance if you would give him one." She finished the argument - she had won. "Now, I know it is early but I am retiring to my chamber." She walked out.

He was especially angry now that both were against him. He marched into his room and began to pace the floor whilst tapping his chin with his index finger. How dare she imply that he was childish and did not give his father a chance. He loved his father and listened to everything he had to say - it was his father who would not listen to he, he did not seem fond of him.

"Are you alright?" Asked Amorina, sitting up.

"Yes, I'm fine." He didn't bother to apologise for waking her. "Everyone's against me."

"Who is?" She pulled him to sit on the bed.

He placed his head in his hands and began to weep tearlessly. "Father and Lucilla." He looked at her elegant face and grinned with an air of sadness. She was so attentive when he was upset and when he was happy, angry and quiet. She was and would always be there for him, despite their emotional setbacks. "But I have you." He put his head upon her shoulder like a little boy and lay her back. "I need someone to love me." He ran his hand down her body making her tremble slightly. He gazed up to see her reaction and moved on top of her, thinking that sailing was clear. She gripped the sheets as he began to kiss her neck tenderly.

"Commodus." She gasped, grabbing the back of his head. "I'm tired."

He now felt disappointed and rejected, on top of the feelings he had released in conversations with his family, but something was telling her not to go ahead and she always trusted her instincts.

He half-heartedly lay upon her shoulder once more and they decided to sleep that night.