Chapter Four: Goodbye

Michaela's heart was pounding rapidly in her chest as Sully's eyes stared into her own. The gap between the two of them was slowly growing smaller. The music slowly came back into the picture and came to a halt. A fast-paced song began to play, and Michaela blinked a couple of times. Sully realized that his own heart was racing. They both pulled away.

"It's rather late. You have a busy day tomorrow. Perhaps we should both get some sleep."

"I'll walk you home."

"That's not necessary."

"Do ya always have to argue?" Michaela smiled and she decided to let Sully escort her home. They walked in silence, both not sure of what just happened or had been about to happen.

"What time will you be leaving tomorrow?"

"I figured me and Cloud Dancin' would leave around noon." Michaela nodded. Something inside of her told her she didn't want to see this man leave. Once again, she felt foolish for letting herself fall for Sully. Wait, fall? Was she really falling for him? After a few minutes of silence, Sully realized that Michaela had something on her mind. "What's on your mind, Dr. Mike?"

"Nothing," she replied as they walked on towards the Quinn house.

"Nothin'? You look like you're frettin' about somethin'."

"I'm fine," Michaela answered. "I'm just a bit tired, that's all." Sully took a deep breath and he saw that Michaela was shivering.

"Stop for a second," he said quietly. Michaela stopped and turned to Sully. He buttoned the buttons to his jacket so the cold air couldn't get to Michaela. He buttoned them slowly, working from the bottom up, and his eyes locked on hers as he did so. Michaela's breaths became quickened and short. She felt faint and wonderful all at the same time as his eyes looked into her soul. She began to shiver even more. "You're shakin'." His hand found hers and he could feel that they were freezing. "We better get you home." After a few minutes, Michaela looked away.

"You're not moving."

"Neither are you," Sully whispered. Again, the world seemed to disappear, and both Michaela and Sully felt as if they were floating on a cloud. Sully had never felt like this with Abagail, but he was younger then. He was foolishly in love. Yes, he loved Abagail, but there was something about Michaela that made his heart pound and his knees to become weak.

Michaela could feel her knees starting to become weak as well, and a moment later, Sully was leaning into her. She closed her eyes, knowing what was coming.

"Oh Sully," she whispered. A moment later, the gap between them was gone and Sully's lips were pressed softly against Michaela's. The feeling was the most electrifying Michaela had ever felt. A few seconds passed, and Sully's soft lips pulled away from hers. For a moment, Michaela thought he was going to turn from her, but he leaned down to press another kiss to her lips, this one much shorter. The silence that followed seemed to last an eternity, but Sully took Michaela's hand and led her toward home.

"You still cold?" he asked after several surprisingly comfortable minutes.

"No. I'd forgotten about it, actually."

"Sorry for remindin' you."

"It's alright. I'll be home soon. You don't have to walk me any further. The hospital is in the opposite direction."

"Would you just let me take ya? It ain't that hard for me to find my way back."

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure," Sully replied. "You alright, Dr. Mike?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"

"If that kiss scared ya, I'm sorry."
"You think I'm scared of you?"

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean?"

"I just meant that I'm sorry if that was forward or somethin'."

"No. I think we both know I wanted that kiss as much as you did. It's just that I was told it was proper not to do that in public."

"Who taught you that?"

"My mother," Michaela replied with a smirk.

"Well, not everything your ma tells ya goes. Some folks think that if ya care about someone, you show 'em no matter where you're at."

"Sully," Michaela said with a blush. Sully smiled at Michaela. He was amazed at how much he was starting to care for the woman he had met not even two days ago. She was beautiful, kind, honest, and he knew her heart was as big as the whole world. Michaela was having a battle with her own emotions. She was definitely falling for this man. It wasn't possible to be in love with him after nearly two days, was it? She had never read romance books when she was younger, but she had always read the great love stories from history; the Shakespearian tragedies. She had never had any experience at relationships, but she also knew this could never turn out to be anything more than a kiss; Sully knew it too. He was leaving in less than twenty-four hours, and Michaela would probably never see him again.

They continued on toward the Quinn house, and as soon as they got close, Michaela could see her mother waiting standing at her window with a candle.

"Oh it never fails," Michaela whispered. Sully noticed where Michaela's glance was aimed at.

"Don't you worry 'bout here. She's just a ma lookin' out for her daughter. I think she really is tryin' to protect her."

"Do I need protecting?" Michaela asked, her eyes daring and soft as they looked up into Sully's.

"From what?"

"From you?" Sully smiled and he shook his head.

"No," he whispered. "You don't need no protectin' because of me. I'd never hurt ya." Michaela decided it was time to say goodnight, but she didn't want to go in yet. She wanted to stand out in the cold with Sully and talk. She wanted him to hold her in her arms like he did when they were kissing. She wanted to feel his lips on her lips for a few moments longer. "It's getting' late. I better get back to the hospital."

"Perhaps you should," Michaela replied with a disappointed nod.

"Will you be comin' to the hospital before we leave?"

"I'll be there early in the morning," Michaela promised.

"Okay." He took Michaela's delicate hand into his own and brought it to his lips. He pressed a feather light kiss to her knuckles while his eyes stared into hers. She felt her cheeks grow hot and was thankful for the nighttime because she didn't want him to think she was a foolish little girl. "Good night, Dr. Mike."

"Good night," she replied. Sully turned and walked away. Michaela watched him go, and she wondered if this was what it would feel like when he and Cloud Dancing walked out of the hospital to go to the train station. She couldn't believe that it actually hurt to watch him walk away from her. It wasn't possible that she had fallen in love with a man she'd only known for a couple of days, was it? Oh yes, it was. She had fallen in love with him, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop that. Little did she know that Sully, despite his best efforts to never find love again, had fallen in love with her.

Michaela slowly ascended the stairs in her home. Harrison was been ordered to stay up to wait for Michaela by Elizabeth. Now that Michaela was home safe and sound, Harrison went off to bed. The tired young woman had hoped for some peace and quiet once she got home, but she had no such luck. As soon as she reached her bedroom, her mother was sitting on her bed.

"Mother?"

"Have you any idea what time it is?"

"It's late, I know."

"I was worried!"

"I was safe," Michaela replied calmly.

"Safe with a mountain man? Oh Michaela, don't be foolish."

"Why do you always say that, mother? I don't see how I'm foolish." In fact, she did feel foolish. She felt foolish for falling for a man that was leaving tomorrow without ever knowing how she felt. She felt foolish for falling for him after such a short time. She never knew it was possible, but apparently it was.

"Your father wants me to trust Mr. Sully. He thinks it's good for you to spend time with him. I don't see how it's to your benefit. I don't want you to see him again."

"Don't worry, mother. You don't have to worry about that because he's leaving tomorrow. He's going back to Colorado and he isn't coming back."

"Perhaps that's best."

"Best for whom?"

"For us all, Michaela." Elizabeth left the room and shut the door behind her. Michaela was suddenly overwhelmed by emotion and she began to sob. Her mother couldn't accept anything about her, the man she had quickly fallen in love with was leaving tomorrow afternoon without knowing how she felt, and her whole world seemed to have turned upside down in the course of two days.

Michaela walked over to her window and looked out over the dark Boston night. She could see the hospital in the distance, and she could see Sully's shadow underneath the street light. She sighed heavily and was surprised to see him turn around. He saw her for a moment and turned around to continue on into the night.

A knock followed Michaela's sigh, and she turned to see her eldest sister Rebecca.

"Rebecca? What are you doing here?" Michaela asked, trying desperately to dry the tears that were still falling.

"Mother sent word that I needed to get here. She said you've taken up with a 'mountain man.'"

"Of course she'd say that," Michaela replied.

"If this 'mountain man' is the man I saw on my way over here in those buckskins, I believe she has nothing to worry about."

"Try telling that to mother." Rebecca smiled.

"Don't worry, Michaela. She's acting like this because you're the youngest. She was like this when I started getting interested in boys. I was her oldest and she was desperately afraid I was going to make the wrong choice. But, when I made the right choice, she relaxed with the other girls. But then you came along and started to grow up. She's just afraid to lose you. She's afraid you're going to move away and she'll never see you again."

"She shouldn't be afraid of that. Everyone grows up. I'm twenty-five years old, for heaven's sake. I'm living with my parents because I'm not married. In a few years, people are going to start calling me an old maid or a spinster."

"Michaela, don't worry!" Rebecca said with a giggle. "You're far too smart and pretty to worry about things like that. You should do what you want to do. Don't worry about what mother and father think. Do what you think is right for you." Michaela smiled and hugged her older sister.

"Thank you," she whispered. "But I'm afraid I can't do what I want to do. The man I love is leaving tomorrow, and he has no idea that I'm in love with him."
"In love? How long have you known him?"

"About two days," Michaela replied with a short laugh. "I know it's foolish . . ."

"It's not foolish, Michaela. Not foolish at all. I think it's lovely and romantic. I believe love happens when it's supposed to. I hope it works out for you."

"Thank you, Rebecca," Michaela whispered. The sisters continued to talk into the late hours of the night.

Sully walked into Dr. Quinn's office quietly. He could see light coming from Cloud Dancing's small room. He walked back there to see his friend sitting up on his cot.

"I thought you'd be sleepin'."

"I was. The spirits spoke to me."
"What'd they say?"

"They tell me you are in love with the medicine woman." Sully swallowed hard. "You don't deny it?"

"No. The spirits are right."

"I thought you said you'd never love again after Abagail."

"I thought I'd never find love again, but I was wrong."

"You haven't known her long." Sully could see his friend smiling.

"I know. I think I scared her but she denies it. Two days ain't a lot of time. Do you think it's foolish?" Cloud Dancing shook his head.

"I do not believe a man is foolish if he follows his heart. It should not matter how long you have known each other. If she feels the same way so soon, the two of you are meant for each other." Sully looked away. "I am sure Abagail would want you to move on, especially if you have found love again."

"I do love Dr. Mike, but she's been raised different. When I look into her eyes, she's scared. I think she's scared to let herself get close to a man because her father has been the only man to respect her."

"Do you respect her?"

"Yes. I do."

"We are leaving tomorrow. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I don't belong in Boston, and I ain't got nothin' to live for in Colorado Springs. My wife and baby are dead. My family now is the Cheyenne. You're like a brother to me." Cloud Dancing reached out and clasped Sully's arm in the spirit of brotherhood.

"Then as your brother, I tell you to be happy. Follow your heart."

"It ain't that easy!" Cloud Dancing let go of Sully's arm. "My heart went to Abagail when I was young and foolish."

"But you are older and wiser now."

"It's only been a couple of years.'
"Do you feel ready to love again?"

"Ready ain't got nothin' to do with it. I already told ya. I feel in love with Dr. Mike the minute I saw her. I just feel like I'm betrayin' Abagail." Cloud Dancing shook his head.

"Never feel guilty about love. It is a very powerful force of nature."

The next morning, Michaela rode to the hospital with her father. It was sunny and the air was crisp and clear. It was a wonderful day, but Michaela didn't feel very wonderful. Sully was supposed to leave soon, and she didn't want him to go. She felt like she had known him forever, but it had only been a few days. She had talked with Rebecca about her feelings for Sully. Rebecca had convinced her younger sister that she should tell Sully she felt despite what they were taught. Elizabeth had always taught them to wait for the man to express his feelings, if there were any feelings to express.

When Michaela walked into her father's office, she watched Josef as he sat down at his desk. She saw Cloud Dancing sleeping in his cot, but Sully wasn't there. Michaela sighed heavily and sat down across from her father. He noticed the distress in his daughter's eyes.

"Mike?"

"Hmm?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I hate seeing you so upset. Would you like me to speak with your mother again?"

"Don't bother. It won't do anyone any good." Josef noticed Michaela's eyes shift toward the door.

"You're waiting for Mr. Sully?"

"How'd you know?" Michaela asked with a slight smile.

"Because your mother does the same thing when she's expecting someone over." Michaela chuckled a little.

"I suppose I am waiting for him." Josef stood up and walked around to sit on the corner of his desk. He took Michaela's hands into his.

"Does he make you happy, Mike?"

"Father, it's only been a few days since we've met."

"That's not what I asked. I asked you if he makes you happy." Michaela blushed, and after a few moments, she nodded.

"Yes he does."

"Do you love him?" She was silent for a moment, but she saw the lines near his eyes crinkle as a grin spread over his face.

"Yes I do."

"Mike, I am happy for you. Now, have you told Mr. Sully this?"
"No! I haven't. I don't think I should."

"Why ever not?"

"Because he's going home."

"Maybe you can give him a reason to stay."

"What if he doesn't feel the same way?" Michaela knew that was a foolish thing to say. Of course Sully cared for her. She could see it in his eyes every time they looked at one another.

"Believe me, Michaela, he does."

"Has he told you?"

"No, but when I saw the way he looked at you at dinner last night, I knew it. He has that look in his eyes that I've given several pretty young ladies in my day."

"Father!" Michaela exclaimed with a laugh. He grinned at her.

"See, there's that beautiful smile. That smile has gotten you out of lots of trouble in your days, young lady. I think you're a natural charmer."

"Do you think that's why Sully cares for me, if he even does at all?"

"No. I think he cares for you because you are a kind, honest, compassionate person; you're beautiful and smart." Josef cleared his throat and stood up.

"I'm going to go downstairs and check on some lab reports. Will you hold down the fort while I'm gone?"

"Of course." Josef left, and Michaela sighed heavily.

"What's on your mind?" came a familiar voice from behind. Michaela stood and turned around to see Sully standing at the door.

"Sully?"

"Your pa saw me. I think that's why he left."

"But why?"

"To give us some privacy." Sully shut the door and slowly walked over to Michaela."

"Privacy?"

"Yeah. To talk." Michaela nodded as Sully shut the door to Cloud Dancing's room.

"Talk? About what?" Sully suddenly felt frightened, afraid of rejection. He sure wished the spirits would have told Cloud Dancing whether or not Michaela felt the same way about him.

"I just, uh, I just wanted to say thank you for takin' good care of my friend. He's like a brother to me."

"It was no trouble. I'm glad you brought him here." Sully nodded and he swallowed hard. He saw a look of nervousness in Michaela's eyes and he knew he couldn't say it. She was far too beautiful and sweet to want to be with him. She was from the other side of the continent; raised in a completely different way. She could never want a life with him. "Sully? What's the matter? You look like you have something on your mind."

"No," Sully replied quickly. "I think it's best that me and Cloud Dancin' head out now."

"So early? Won't you stay for lunch?" She was desperate. She needed him to stay. Sully looked at her, wanting to say he could stay forever, but he knew that wasn't possible. He could never accept Boston, and Boston could never accept him.

"We can't. We gotta go now." He went to wake Cloud Dancing. Michaela was devastated. She needed to tell Sully, but she could tell that something was holding him back from telling her his true feelings. Maybe Sully didn't feel anything for her after all. Maybe he was afraid that she had feelings that he just couldn't express. Maybe it was better for the both of them if he did leave.

A few minutes later, Cloud Dancing appeared from his room with Sully behind him. He walked over to Michaela.

"I appreciate everything you've done for me. Haho."

"Haho," Dr. Mike repeated, not quite knowing what the word was. But she knew it had to be something good. Cloud Dancing smiled and left the room. Sully looked at Michaela once before he started for the door. Something inside of Michaela made her speak out. "Wait!" Sully froze with his hand on the doorknob, not knowing what to do next or what he was going to hear next. "Don't go."