Mars
Chapter 8: The Wrath Within
"I will kill whoever did this." Growled the prince, staring at each member of the senate.
The sun rose to begin another relentless déjà vu, which was when Lucius decided to pay a visit to his uncle with his story. He found him cradling a corpse bestowing kisses on it's blue lips, making him scream and flee from the room in search of his mother. Lucilla responded with a sprint to her brother and took a good hour or so to talk him around the fact that she was dead. The realisation sat in when she slapped him and he burst into tears claiming he had 'inspired a villain to kill an innocent girl'. Two maidens were called in and immediately removed the body whilst Commodus hugged into his sister drowning her in his salt laden tears in the corner. He was cheered slightly by his young nephew's voice reciting his tale and telling him jokes.
Then he called a meeting with the senators and stared each one in the eye, telling them the story of how he found her and the facts of her innocence. "I will kill whoever did this." He finished.
"I am sorry, sire, for your loss - but she was only one girl." Reasoned one of the younger senators.
"One girl is still one life!" Snapped Commodus, astounded by his calm approach to the matter. "Someone died last night, someone innocent and the murderer must be punished!"
"But who would have reason to target a whore?" Questioned Gracchus.
"She was more than a whore, she was my lover." The prince confessed.
"She was nothing but a roll in bed whenever you felt a bit amorous" Another of the senators pitched in, increasing the wrath within Commodus.
"I didn't ask you to understand." He compressed his rage. "I am merely stating that we must find the villain and have him punished, do you not agree Gracchus?"
"Of course I do." Gracchus smirked.
Gracchus was on the top of Commodus' suspect list. Out of everyone in Rome, it was Gracchus and Lucilla who saw he and Amorina together, so they were the culprits. It could not have been Lucilla, as she did not care who he slept with. Gracchus, however, was not keen on the heir to the throne and had constantly tried to take away his power. He did not think Gracchus had squeezed the life out of her himself, but had hired some sort of hit man to do the dirty work for him - it was unlike Gracchus to stain his hands with blood manually.
"Good. Then I would like any confessions within the next two days and I would also be grateful if everyone would keep a sharp eye for any peculiar goings on." He let his gaze wander onto every man in the room, making them all shift about uncomfortably. "Now, if you will excuse me, I have matters to attend to."
He stormed out of the room like a fell gust of wind swept up from hell itself. He felt as though something had crushed his chest and he struggled to breathe as he collapsed on the ground behind a pillar. He held his head tightly and looked at the floor as the drips from his ducts fell upon the marble in a remorseful silent song. He felt so foolish - she had no real attachment to him and yet whenever he thought of her face, her skin and what it was like to touch her, tears sprang forth and his heart ripped a tiny bit more. He kept picturing her eyes staring lifelessly into his and the coldness of her blood; like frozen water. He screamed to vent his pent up anger and frustration, then banged his head against the pillar, making him scream again, but this time in pain. He wasn't used to grieving and was unsure of why he idiotically decided to cleave his skull in, but luckily he did not feel tired or dizzy, so he shook off the pain and decided he was alright.
"I wish I had not hit her." He whispered to the darkness. It might have been the concussion talking, but he could almost hear the shadows whispering back to him, telling him his life would go on and worse things would happen, making him feel a bit more depressed.
"Don't worry Commodus, it gets easier." Said Lucilla in his memory, she had said the words only hours ago.
He remembered what it was like when Lucilla lost her husband. He had never liked Lucius to begin with - he hated the thought of this mere mortal touching his sister and violating her body and vowed that if he ever harmed Lucilla in any way, he would rip out his tongue and eyes and feed them to the carrion. But nevertheless, Lucilla felt something for the man and so he bit his own tongue whenever he had a nasty or snide word to say.
Thus, when he reached his untimely end Lucilla was heartbroken and the only man who was there to comfort her was not her father, nor her old flame, but her brother - Commodus, who slept by her every night and took on the paternal duties of raising her son, without complaint, for he loved his sister dearly.
All in all it took her a year to mourn him and even more for Lucius, but Commodus would always stand by her side and show her the joy he experienced in order to heal her shattered heart. Would things be the same now? Would Lucilla stand by her brother and fulfil the needs Amorina once took care of? It was impossible, they could not love in such a way for it was immoral.
But if Lucilla were willing to listen to him, to hug him when he was tormented by his demons, then maybe, just maybe, he could survive this. Happiness would not be unattainable surely? He had been fighting for happiness and love and a sense of belonging since he was born. He was forever shunned and cast aside for books and Spaniards, but he could be happy - he had to be.
However, for now, he would relish the pain he had sorely come to love, that would be with him until the end of his days and evermore.
