Chapter 33 - The Birthday Girl
Present day - March
Rose POV
I thought we would disappear into the woods and sleep in the tent, but instead we stopped at another motel after several hours of driving. Dimitri had explained to me that they needed to be frugal due to their limited financial means. They didn't have access to an account that wasn't somehow governed by the Moroi, which meant that using their cards to pay for stuff was out of the question. Apparently the card transactions could be traced, but this all seemed so very complex to me. They told me they didn't have that much cash, but that we would manage for a while until they came up with a place we could stay at for a longer time. But until then we would utilize the tent in order to save up.
Hearing Dimitri and Spiridon explain their limited resources made me feel guilty for getting so many clothes earlier today, but both of them reassured me that it was according to plan. We left most of our stuff in the trunk of the car and only took what was necessary into the room. I sat on the bed absentmindedly flipping through Dimitri's book, reading the parts he had dog-eared. I wondered if he would let me read the book after he was finished with it. Dimitri was currently showering so it would have to wait until he was finished.
"Get dressed."
I looked up and noticed that Spiridon had also showered and changed into a pair of jeans. It was weird to see him looking so human compared to the usual stuff he would wear. He had a white t-shirt on that revealed some of his taut muscles underneath, and I quickly looked away.
"I am dressed," I said with confusion, placing the book on the bed.
"No, not your sweats. We're going out." He threw the knitted sweater and the jeans on the bed. My hand tentatively reached out and toyed with the fabric of the jeans, not sure if he meant that I should do it straight away. He seemed to sense my unspoken question because he huffed in annoyance. "I didn't mean now obviously, you can wait until Dimitri's finished in the bathroom. Seriously, what can I do in order for you to not be so afraid of me?"
"I don't know," I said honestly, feeling dejected. I wished that I didn't flinch the way I did, but the sad reality was that I wasn't used to this kind of respect and consideration and it was difficult to change my instinctive reactions. He looked at me with resignation before flopping down on the other bed and turned on the tv. Not long after that Dimitri emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a similar way as Spiridon. His hair was damp from the shower and I noticed it had a slight curl to it. It looked almost black.
I gathered the stuff I needed and slipped into the bathroom. Before I turned on the shower I heard Dimitri's quiet voice. "Just give her time."
We had been driving for an hour or so when we got off the highway. I was feeling a little anxious since neither of them would tell me where we were going. Spiridon had assured me several times that this was a good surprise, but as far as I could recall I hadn't really experienced one. I looked down at my new jeans, feeling the unfamiliar fabric between my fingertips. I was also wearing the knitted sweater that we had picked out for me, as well as the new boots. I was extremely thankful to be wearing a bra after having to go without one for so long, and it gave me an extra layer of security. I had left my hair down, mainly to allow it to dry after the shower, and now it fell in waves over my shoulders.
Dimitri parked the car in front of a restaurant, or perhaps a bar of some sort. They both got out of the car leaving me sitting in the car for a moment before I gathered enough courage to join them. Spiridon entered the restaurant first and I could tell that he was scanning the place. Dimitri was holding the door open for me and I followed Spiridon's steps, looking around anxiously. Were we meeting someone here?
"Hi, how are you tonight? Table for three?"
I didn't even notice that one of the waitresses had approached us. Spiridon turned on his usual charm even though the woman had at least twenty years on him, and I ended up tuning them out. We made our way towards a booth and I thought that the waitress swayed a little too much with her hips, making her look a bit funny when she walked. Spiridon didn't even try to hide that his gaze was glued on her backside, so apparently she was doing something right. I mean, who was I to judge?
Dimitri seemed oblivious to what was going on between the two of them, and he waited for me to scooch into the booth before he sat next to me. Our arms were touching and I felt my skin tingle a little bit. He was warm even though he was only wearing a t-shirt.
"So, do you want to get started on some drinks?" the waitress said while handing us some menus.
Both men looked at me expectantly, but I averted my gaze to the menu.
"She's the birthday girl."
I looked up with confusion, trying to let Spiridon's words sink in. I looked around again, at the place, at our clothes, at the menu. The waitress didn't seem to notice my confusion. "How wonderful, let's get you something special then." She seemed very pleased with the fact that we seemed to be here to celebrate my birthday and I didn't understand why it would matter to her.
"Not too special, if you know what I mean. She turned eighteen," Spiridon grinned.
"Maybe a virgin margarita?"
A virgin what? I was alarmed, trying to understand what was going on. Had I misinterpreted the situation? Was this finally when Spiridon and Dimitri showed their true colors? Were there other virgins here? Someone called Margarita? Was I being sold? All the questions were racing through my mind until I felt Dimitri's hand slip into mine under the table, gently squeezing it. I tried to focus on his thumb brushing my skin instead of dwelling on all the scary thoughts.
"Sure, two beers and water as well, please."
The waitress walked away from our table and Dimitri let go of my hand. "Whenever a cocktail is virgin, it simply means without alcohol in it," he explained. "In this country it's illegal to drink if you're under 21."
I sagged with relief, my fingers still tingling slightly from Dimitri's touch. Both men opened their menus and perused the selections. This wasn't the first time we were at a restaurant, so I felt a bit more seasoned when I tried to figure out what to get. Soon enough, the waitress returned with our drinks and we placed our order for the food. When she had left again Dimitri held up his beer and Spiridon joined him. I tentatively reached for my drink, an intricate glass of red slush and held it up, mimicking them.
"Happy belated birthday, Rose," Dimitri said. The corners of his eyes were crinkling again, the rare smile I had only seen a couple of times. Spiridon was also smiling and baring his straight, white teeth. I looked away feeling my cheeks flush and sipped my drink as the men took a sip of their beers.
I liked coke better, but this virgin thing was still good. Somehow more festive, and I could understand why people would drink cocktails.
"I'm sorry you had to spend your actual birthday crammed in a suitcase," Dimitri continued after his sip.
"It's okay, I blame Spiridon anyways," I joked, ignoring Spiridon's objections.
"How come you didn't realize we were here to celebrate your birthday? You looked absolutely terrified. And when the waitress suggested the virgin margarita you looked like you were going to pass out," Spiridon said and was laughing between his words. He was on his fourth beer by now and we had just finished eating. Dimitri had finished his only beer a long time ago and was drinking water.
"What the hell, I thought you were selling me or something. How was I supposed to know that virgin was a description of some kind of a drink?"
Spiridon sobered up a bit but was still determined to keep the mood up, ignoring the unpleasantries of my exclamation. "What would you usually do for birthdays at the Institution?"
His question was probably meant to be friendly and easy, but I knew the answer would upset both of them so I asked about the green tables instead. He looked over his shoulder with confusion until he realized what I was talking about.
"That's a pool table, ever played?" Dimitri asked. I shook my head and Dimitri got up from his seat and moved towards the bar. He came back with a set of colorful balls with numbers on them and another beer for Spiridon. "Come on, I'll teach you." He placed the beer in front of Spiridon and waited for me to get up. I followed his steps towards a table in the corner. When we moved through the crowd I noticed several women checking Dimitri out, the same way I was used to seeing Spiridon doing anything remotely female. I followed the gaze of one of them and tried to see what she was seeing. My eyes fell on Dimitri and I noticed that he had tied his hair back at the nape of his neck, his promise mark and all the small molnija marks visible. The black t-shirt he was wearing contrasted nicely with his tanned skin, and when he reached up to grab one of the sticks I had seen others use when playing this weird game the sleeves of his shirt were straining a bit against his shoulders and upper arms. It wasn't tight, but it seemed to be clinging to his muscles in a way I could understand was appealing. I mean, he was appealing, something I already knew since that time I saw him in less than his towel. My gaze moved lower to his dark jeans, quickly passing the indecent curves of his behind. I noticed he was still wearing his black combat boots, but they didn't seem misplaced in his attire. It gave him more of an edge, the hint of something dangerous.
I looked back at the other women, who were not even trying to hide their apparent interest. I felt something in my lower stomach, behind my navel. But I quickly dismissed that feeling.
"Here, take this," Dimitri said and handed me a stick. "This is called a cue, and you'll use it to hit the cue ball." He held up a white ball. I glanced around and took notice of what others were doing and how they were playing. "This is the only ball to be directly hit." He continued to explain the rules, and soon enough it was time to start playing. Dimitri used some kind of plastic triangle and racked up all the colorful balls. He moved them around for a bit and switched places of some until he was satisfied with the pattern, and the black ball was in the middle.
"The birthday girl gets to break." I understood from the context that he wanted me to start. I was sort of excited. I didn't get to play that much and this was something entirely new. I was less anxious around the people knowing that Dimitri was close by. I somehow knew that he wouldn't let anything happen to me.
I leaned over and aimed with my stick like I had seen others do before shooting the white ball. It rolled forward, slowly, and barely nudged the colorful balls. Nothing happened to the formation, and I frowned.
"It was a good first try, next time use a bit more force. Observe me, try to take notice of my aim and the way my arm moves." Of course he managed to break up the formation, the balls rolling into different directions. Two of them went into the little pocket thing. "Stripes," he murmured.
My next shot was even more awful. This time, I used way too much force and managed somehow to shoot the white ball onto Dimitri, who graciously caught it in the air. "Try again," he smiled and placed the cue ball onto the table.
We continued back and forth, and I was getting a bit proud of myself for standing up against Dimitri. He was in the lead, but not by much. Spiridon joined us after a while and handed me a coke. I briefly wondered how he knew what I liked, and my gaze flicked over to Dimitri. Maybe Dimitri had said something, but he didn't give anything away.
We continued playing, chatting a bit, both of them giving me pointers until Spiridon went back to our table. I was starting to wonder why Dimitri didn't manage to sink any balls. I started paying more attention to what he was actually doing. There was a pattern. He would only sink one of the striped ones if I had managed to down one of mine. It almost seemed that most of his shots were meant to strategically place the cue ball for me, allowing me an easy shot.
"You're cheating!"
He stilled mid-shot and looked up at me with a wicked grin. I tried to ignore the way his body was bent over the table. "I thought it would be fair to let the birthday girl win." The next shot was perfect, and a striped ball neatly found its way into the corner pocket. He leisurely walked around the table. "Considering that you have never played."
"Don't take pity on me, play like you mean it."
He arched one eyebrow and made another shot, just as perfect as the last one. This continued until there weren't any striped balls left. I was fascinated with his skills, confidence and determination. On his last shot, he did however accidentally pocket one of my solid colored balls in addition to his own, so it was finally my turn again. It would be a hard shot, the cue ball was in an awkward position. I got up on my toes and bent over the table to take my aim. A movement caught the corner of my eye and reflexively my eyes flicked over to it. Someone was placing down his beer on a side table, and behind the table was a mirror.
I stilled.
I clearly saw Dimitri's face through the mirror and his eyes were currently very much trained on my jeans-clad ass as I was bent over the table. He didn't leer or linger for too long before looking away, but it was clear what he had done. The look he had given me was more than a quick scan, less than an ogle. My cheeks felt heated and I quickly scrambled for a shot, once again managing to shoot the cue ball out of range. It bounced on the floor until it came to a slow roll.
"Shit."
The ride back was almost as fun as the bar. Spiridon and Dimitri were in a heated argument about their game of pool. After Dimitri had beaten me, after the whole accidental butt-stare-moment, Spiridon had waltzed over to the pool table and taken my place. For almost ten minutes they had discussed what the wager was, but I had excused myself to the restroom before they had decided. When I came back they had already started the game, but both of them kept their eyes trained on me and the crowd until I was by their side again. I realized that not even a night out would keep them from guarding me, although it was clear that they were letting go a bit. Spiridon wasn't drunk, but he was definitely more talkative - if that even was possible. And most of all, more goading. Dimitri had won which Spiridon didn't take lightly. As their game progressed they had started to taunt each other with worse and worse insults. Something they were still continuing to do, only a while ago they had switched to Russian, probably in an attempt to spare my innocent ears from the shit they were saying to each other. I was tempted to ask what the wager had been, but decided that it would only fuel their argument.
I sat back and smiled to myself, zoning out on their banter. I realized that this had been the best day of my life. They had given me something invaluable, a day and night of freedom and fun. Throughout the day they had been there for me, providing me safety and stability. I had never in my entire life been so comfortable around people, around men, around guardians. It was hard to fathom that I had actually been given all of this by two guardians, to whom I felt respected and valued as a living, breathing being. Not a means to achieve something, not a possession to claim. As a person.
But underneath all the happiness laid the sorrow and fear. The sorrow for a missed childhood, the sorrow of only now getting to celebrate my birthday. The sorrow and fear for everything I had to endure until this point. The fear of what I knew guardians could be like. The fear that someone would steal all this from me. The fear that this wasn't real. The fear that he wasn't real.
I tried to push all the thoughts aside but ended up dwelling on them instead, and felt an immense relief when I saw the motel sign. We made our way back to our room and I was determined to escape into the bathroom the very chance I got.
Once the door closed behind us Spiridon immediately grabbed his bag and pulled out a small, clear bottle of something. Dimitri walked over to one of the bedside tables and placed three tiny plastic cups on it, as well as a can of coke.
"We're not in Russia anymore, but you, my lady, have just turned eighteen. And according to the ancient tradition, you are to take a shot of vodka in celebration of your adulthood," Spiridon announced in a deep festive voice and sat down on one of the beds. I hesitated until I took the few steps I needed to sit down on the other bed so that I was facing him. I felt the bed dip slightly when Dimitri sat down next to me, still keeping a little bit of distance between us. "You don't have to drink," he murmured.
Spiridon waved his hand and dismissed him. "None of that, one shot won't kill her. Ever had vodka before?"
I knew they wouldn't force me to do anything, that much I trusted them. I shook my head and watched Spiridon pour a little bit of vodka into one cup and filled the other two to the brim. He then proceeded to hand me the one with barely anything in it while they took the ones that were full.
"Na Zdorovie," the men murmured before they drank the content of the cup. I followed their lead and poured the clear liquid into my mouth. It tasted absolutely terrible, and my face grimaced as it burned my tongue and gums. I quickly realized that keeping the vile stuff in my mouth only made it worse and swallowed it with some difficulty. The burn moved down in my throat and made its way to my stomach.
"Ah, it never gets old seeing young innocent souls taste Russian vodka for the first time. Remember your first time, Dimitri?"
"Barely. If I'm not entirely mistaken you didn't only pour me one shot. And we didn't exactly wait until we were eighteen." I was still struggling with the horrible aftertaste, looking at them both in disbelief. None of them had moved a muscle or reacted to the repulsive drink in any way. Dimitri smiled and handed me the coke, which I gratefully took. "This one however," he continued and nodded towards me, "will only get one."
I was fine with that. In fact, more than fine. When I was finished rinsing my mouth with the coke I noticed that both of them had something in their hands. "Here," Dimitri murmured and gave me a small gift bag.
I was startled. A weird lump in my throat was beginning to become unbearable as my fingers toyed with the present in my lap. I knew it wasn't an effect from the vodka. I swallowed thickly and avoided looking up. My hands shook a bit as I opened the bag and took out the content.
It was a lip-balm. In fact, it was exactly the one that my fingers had grazed in the store, the one with cherry flavor.
I looked at Dimitri in wonder. How had he managed to covertly buy it for me? The question must have been obvious on my face because he smiled the kind of smile that gave me goosebumps. "Guardian secrets."
Spiridon pushed another present in my lap, one that was haphazardly wrapped in a newspaper. "Might not be the prettiest wrapping, but hopefully you'll like the content." He was oddly composed and I felt an underlying tension in his smile.
I carefully tore away the newspaper and read the cover of the book. "Twilight?"
"Yeah, Dimitri's little sister is obsessed with the sparkly vampires," Spiridon grinned, his weird tension not tangible anymore.
"Vampires? I thought humans didn't know about Strigoi or Moroi?"
"They don't know. This is just what they think vampires are like, it's fiction," Dimitri explained.
"Humans think vampires sparkle?" I asked incredulously.
"Only in the sun," Spiridon objected.
"Don't spoil the book, idiot." Dimitri stood up and walked towards the small drawer next to the door to our room. I couldn't see what he was doing as he stood there with his back towards us. "But yes and no, this is just one version of how humans describe vampires in fiction. They don't know vampires exist for real but there are plenty of interpretations of them in their popular culture. Dracula being one of the most famous ones."
He turned around and I noticed that he was carrying a plate with lit candles on it. It seemed like a weird thing to do, so I craned my head in order to see better.
The plate contained three round pastries with a hole in the middle and the upper half was covered in chocolate. One of them had two candles stuck into it, the shapes of the candles revealing the numbers one and eight. Eighteen.
"The third gift to you is not having to hear Spiridon sing happy birthday to you. I won't subject you to that."
Spiridon snorted, and perhaps in a normal situation I would've felt the urge to giggle. I was absolutely dumbstruck by their final gesture, and sat completely still on the bed. Dimitri held the plate and the candles in front of me, and I looked into the mesmerizing flames, still frozen in my seat. "Make a wish, Rose," Dimitri murmured softly.
Make a wish.
Make a wish? What more could I have wished for? I was safe, I was treated well, I was respected. I was happy. The only thing I could've wished for was my Dimitri to be here. My eyes immediately snapped up to the man in front of me and I stared into his deep brown eyes, watching the candles flicker in them, somehow making the brown shade appear more amber. His eyes met mine and I got the distinct feeling that he was exerting a lot of control of himself. It felt like time stood still as he reverently stared into my eyes.
Gently, almost unwillingly, he cleared his throat and his eyes fell down on the plate instead, breaking the connection.
"Excuse me."
I almost pushed him aside when I sprung up from the bed. With tears welling up in my eyes I hurried to the door and opened it with shaking hands, slipping outside into the cold air. I heard them both call for me but I ignored them, my legs moving in a brisk walk as I needed to distance myself from them. I heard someone follow me but it only urged me to break into a run.
"Rose, please." Dimitri's voice was close, urgently trying to gauge why I had reacted the way I had. "Stop running."
I didn't listen but kept running away from them, just needing to escape everything. He tried to get me to stop one more time before he grabbed my arm and somehow snaked the other around me, pulling my back against his solid chest. My instincts got the best of me and I started struggling for real, clawing, kicking and hitting him. As the other times, it proved useless against his strength, and I found myself tightly wrapped against him. His balance didn't even falter in the process.
"Rose, stop. Please."
His gentle words were trying to coax me into calming myself, and this time I complied. My head fell limply back against his shoulder, and for a while we both just breathed heavily. I felt the steady rise and fall of his chest against my back, and a part of me noted again how warm he was. I took in his scent and let it fall over me like a comforting blanket.
"Please, I'm sorry if we did something wrong. Just tell me how to make it right," he whispered urgently. His breath fanned against my ear and I closed my eyes, trying to sort out the turmoil going on in my head.
"It's too much. It's all too much. I won't survive." I tried to put words on the chaos that rumbled in me. His body responded to my words by going rigid, his arms somehow squeezing me even closer.
"What do you mean you won't survive?" he questioned me urgently. There was a sharpness to his voice and I knew he was scanning the area for threats.
"If someone takes this away from me, I won't survive" I said thickly and felt my tears trickle down my cheeks.
"I've got you," he murmured quietly in my ear.
"You don't understand!" I exclaimed.
"Make me understand then," he demanded harshly. The steady rise and fall of his chest kept me leveled enough to sort out the most urgent thoughts.
"This is all too much. I've never celebrated a birthday. I didn't even know I wanted to celebrate a birthday. I didn't know what I was missing out on. I didn't even know what it was like to be treated with a little respect and without some kind of agenda. I can't go back." More tears fell. "It's just that all these nice things you've done for me today is too much. And when you asked me to make a wish I was finally forced to admit that the one thing I could possibly wish for was already in front of me."
I heard his sharp intake of air, and he pulled me a little closer to him, squeezed me a little harder. It centered me, gave me courage to face my fears and accept what I already knew. This was it. It was time to face up to it and stop hiding in order to protect myself. I just needed him to understand why this was so hard, why it was so terrifying. I needed him to understand so that he wouldn't hurt me somehow, or allow someone else to do it.
"I remembered you for such a long time. Moore would bully me," I hiccuped between a sob, "and as the time passed I just tried to forget. I just tried to not think about you or your family. It was easier to forget."
"I'm so sorry," he whispered in my ear, but I ignored him. "I grew up dreaming about someone looking for me, coming to my rescue. I would picture the gentle boy with his different way of pronouncing words, the one that was really tall with kind eyes. You were part of this naive little fantasy I used to have, the dream about a day when you would come and take me away from that place. This one time we got a new guardian, and they told me his name was Dimitri. Moore implied to me it was you. I stood there on the front steps waiting for you, like the stupid idiot I was, and when I finally realized it wasn't you but Igor, that it was just a ploy by Moore, it felt like my world shattered. And I just locked you up in my mind, burying the last memories of you and your family." I wasn't sure that he could understand what I was trying to say, but he kept quiet and let me go on with my rambling.
"Then suddenly my whole world turned upside down by you storming into that horrible basement, and the old memories started to rattle in their confinements. You just don't understand. If I allow myself to believe that all of this is true, if I allow myself to believe that you are true, I won't survive when they take it all away again." I tried to center myself with deep breaths.
He gently turned me around in his arms so that my back was no longer pressed against him, and I welcomed his radiating heat against the front of my body. My head was pressed against his chest and we stood there in silence, his arms wrapped around me in what must've looked like a sweet embrace. But in reality he was holding me up and keeping me from falling to pieces. And in return, I had a feeling that maybe I was doing the same for him. I felt his heartbeat and he rested his chin on top of my head, pulling me even closer. He began to murmur his apologies again, his chest rumbling as he was gently rocking me, but that wasn't what I had meant. I wasn't trying to put guilt on him. On the contrary, he had saved me. I owed him so much. I owed him everything.
"Are you really my Dimitri?" I breathed against his chest.
He eased off his hold of me and lowered his head enough so that he could look me in the eyes. I felt his hands graze my back and make their way up to my shoulders and neck. He then gently cupped my face, his palms and long fingers feeling rough against the sensitive, damp skin of my cheeks. I found myself absorbed by his dark eyes again, staring reverently at me.
"I am," his tone revealing just how affected he was by the situation. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to find you, but I'm here now. I've got you."
Author's note:
33 chapters to finally get to this point! Not going to lie, we're super nervous about posting this since we really don't want to disappoint anyone. Some of you have been waiting for this moment for a long time and we hope it meets your expectations. Imagine the pressure when we get to the smut (much) later on :D
Once again we thank each and everyone of you for leaving a review, following or marking this as their favorite, it makes us happy to know that there are people out there enjoying this little project. Longest chapter so far so please let us know if you prefer shorter ones, still trying to find a good balance.
