Disclaimer: No I never have or will own Harry Potter or Star Trek! E! does not belong to me either!! I am not making any profit from this.
Authors Note: My sole purpose for writing this piece of work is to simply show others that there are worse writers out there...like me...and to make people happy and laugh. I write snape-fics, cuz I love to torture our beloved potions master. It is just too much fun.
Dedicated to Kimmy my Slytherin Pal...(you know what I mean Kim! Cough) I know you'll want to kill me after this.
Enjoy
E! True Hogwarts Story: Severus Snape
For years students at Hogwarts elementary have pondered about their missing potions professor, Severus Snape. Little is known about this strange man, who is rumored to have greasy hair and a bitter disposition. Tonight we will explore this mans life from birth to disappearance.
E! True Hogwarts Story: Severus Snape
1960-1969 The Lost Years/Where No Man Has Gone Before
Born to Siegfreid and Rowena Snape in 1960 under the name Severus Quincy Sebastian Snape the world was to be changed. Severus was not the average wizard baby by wizarding standards. Severus was born into a family that had a long history of dark pureblooded wizards, and he was heir to that "throne". Although not much is known about Severus in these early years we managed to gain some video clips on his relatives and friends.
Aunt Zora...
"Oh I remember that little butterball! My wittle Sevvie Wevvie! That's what I used to call him when I came over to visit. He was a glutton little child, always shoving his face into his mother's goblin stew. I remember one time we found him ravenously eating away at cookies his mother had made. I think I have a picture of it. (Digs into purse and pulls out a picture of a rotund three-year-old Snape with underwear on his head. With his little mouth full of cookie crumbs and his chubby little hand grasping chocolate chip cookies). Oh how I loved that child."
We also managed to get a hold of his cousin.
Cousin Bob...
"I hated him! I remember that greasy little puffball! One time he got a hold of his father's wand and jinxed me! My hair did not grow back for about 3 years!! I swear when I see him he will pay. He almost killed me as well, I was only five and he almost managed to push me out of my window. I swear he's a mad one! No one ever liked him, even his own mother would forget his name at times." (He goes into a wild rampage)
Clearly not everyone was fond of Severus Snape as a child, or as an adult for that matter. Snape was clearly a talented wizard; he didn't play the usual pranks that a normal elementary school child would play. At times he would steal his fathers wand and play with it a school. His teachers would send him home because Severus would occasionally cause his classmates to spontaneously combust during recess or a snake would attack a teacher. In a quiet way, despite all of these misdemeanors, he was still the pride and joy of his parents. Severus whole purpose was to bring honor to his Family name and by demonstrating his powers he was doing just that. One of his elementary teachers once commented,
"I remembered Severus, oh yes, that evil possessed child! I remember the first time he walked into my classroom. He was threatening to turn one of the boys into a bunch of French fries and that he would personally dip them into ketchup and eat them. He was a dreadful little child. Oh! I swear I'll never forget those horrible eyes, they seemed to penetrate you like laser beams!! The children thought he was a vampire; I myself carried some garlic, just to be safe. He traumatized me...I never liked teaching after that little child!! Oh the horror!" (Breaks down into hysterical crying)
As Severus grew in the sixties a powerful medium, TV would soon play n important role in Severus's life. Star Trek had just premiered and the sky was no longer the limit. Little five-year-old Severus had been sucked into the love of spaceships and stars. Every Saturday night little Severus would turn on the TV to watch the gallant heroes save the galaxy from aliens in cheesy suits and corny stories, but to the eyes of this little child it was amazing and an inspiration. His mother states,
"I remember when he was about seven, all he would watch was star trek. He even began to imitate his favorite character on the show Mr. Spock (A picture of an Eight year old Snape in Mr. Spock costume) actually he umm...scared me. (Shudder) There would be time when he and his little pal Lucius Malfoy would run around the backyard acting out one of the episodes. Snape would always be Mr. Spock, but disturbingly Lucius would always be the damsel in distress."
However, as the sixties drew to a close so did Star Trek and Snape's childhood. As the decade died something also faded within Snape. Something was tormenting this child, and it would probably torment him for the rest of his existence. The next ten years to come would mold Severus Snape into the man he became...
Next on E! True Hogwarts Story
1970-1979 The Hogwart Years and The world goes upside down.
&&&&&
Hehehe I know that wasn't extremely funny, but I think it is something I can write. Question: Should I keep going? Please Read and Review!!!
Authors Note: My sole purpose for writing this piece of work is to simply show others that there are worse writers out there...like me...and to make people happy and laugh. I write snape-fics, cuz I love to torture our beloved potions master. It is just too much fun.
Dedicated to Kimmy my Slytherin Pal...(you know what I mean Kim! Cough) I know you'll want to kill me after this.
Enjoy
E! True Hogwarts Story: Severus Snape
For years students at Hogwarts elementary have pondered about their missing potions professor, Severus Snape. Little is known about this strange man, who is rumored to have greasy hair and a bitter disposition. Tonight we will explore this mans life from birth to disappearance.
E! True Hogwarts Story: Severus Snape
1960-1969 The Lost Years/Where No Man Has Gone Before
Born to Siegfreid and Rowena Snape in 1960 under the name Severus Quincy Sebastian Snape the world was to be changed. Severus was not the average wizard baby by wizarding standards. Severus was born into a family that had a long history of dark pureblooded wizards, and he was heir to that "throne". Although not much is known about Severus in these early years we managed to gain some video clips on his relatives and friends.
Aunt Zora...
"Oh I remember that little butterball! My wittle Sevvie Wevvie! That's what I used to call him when I came over to visit. He was a glutton little child, always shoving his face into his mother's goblin stew. I remember one time we found him ravenously eating away at cookies his mother had made. I think I have a picture of it. (Digs into purse and pulls out a picture of a rotund three-year-old Snape with underwear on his head. With his little mouth full of cookie crumbs and his chubby little hand grasping chocolate chip cookies). Oh how I loved that child."
We also managed to get a hold of his cousin.
Cousin Bob...
"I hated him! I remember that greasy little puffball! One time he got a hold of his father's wand and jinxed me! My hair did not grow back for about 3 years!! I swear when I see him he will pay. He almost killed me as well, I was only five and he almost managed to push me out of my window. I swear he's a mad one! No one ever liked him, even his own mother would forget his name at times." (He goes into a wild rampage)
Clearly not everyone was fond of Severus Snape as a child, or as an adult for that matter. Snape was clearly a talented wizard; he didn't play the usual pranks that a normal elementary school child would play. At times he would steal his fathers wand and play with it a school. His teachers would send him home because Severus would occasionally cause his classmates to spontaneously combust during recess or a snake would attack a teacher. In a quiet way, despite all of these misdemeanors, he was still the pride and joy of his parents. Severus whole purpose was to bring honor to his Family name and by demonstrating his powers he was doing just that. One of his elementary teachers once commented,
"I remembered Severus, oh yes, that evil possessed child! I remember the first time he walked into my classroom. He was threatening to turn one of the boys into a bunch of French fries and that he would personally dip them into ketchup and eat them. He was a dreadful little child. Oh! I swear I'll never forget those horrible eyes, they seemed to penetrate you like laser beams!! The children thought he was a vampire; I myself carried some garlic, just to be safe. He traumatized me...I never liked teaching after that little child!! Oh the horror!" (Breaks down into hysterical crying)
As Severus grew in the sixties a powerful medium, TV would soon play n important role in Severus's life. Star Trek had just premiered and the sky was no longer the limit. Little five-year-old Severus had been sucked into the love of spaceships and stars. Every Saturday night little Severus would turn on the TV to watch the gallant heroes save the galaxy from aliens in cheesy suits and corny stories, but to the eyes of this little child it was amazing and an inspiration. His mother states,
"I remember when he was about seven, all he would watch was star trek. He even began to imitate his favorite character on the show Mr. Spock (A picture of an Eight year old Snape in Mr. Spock costume) actually he umm...scared me. (Shudder) There would be time when he and his little pal Lucius Malfoy would run around the backyard acting out one of the episodes. Snape would always be Mr. Spock, but disturbingly Lucius would always be the damsel in distress."
However, as the sixties drew to a close so did Star Trek and Snape's childhood. As the decade died something also faded within Snape. Something was tormenting this child, and it would probably torment him for the rest of his existence. The next ten years to come would mold Severus Snape into the man he became...
Next on E! True Hogwarts Story
1970-1979 The Hogwart Years and The world goes upside down.
&&&&&
Hehehe I know that wasn't extremely funny, but I think it is something I can write. Question: Should I keep going? Please Read and Review!!!
