Disclaimer: All things Harry Potter belong to J.K Rowling. I don't own
any of this and as much as I love reading HP, wouldn't want to be in charge
of writing the real thing so cheers! (yes I said cheers)
Thanks soooooo much to all my reviewers. I love reviews, especially when they're nice (.
So sorry for the delay. I know I promised. Don't hate me! I'm stuck in Serbia (don't ask) without internet. I went all the way across the city to an internet café just for all you wonderful people, and I'm going back home 2morrow so I should have the next one up as soon as I get home.
Hope you like it n I promise more will happen in terms of plot, new characters, etc. in the next few chapters. I'm kind of still in the introduction fo characters stage but its getting to the good stuff.
"regular speech"
~ telepathy/mindspeech ~
'thoughts'
***Last Chapter*** My name is Hermione Granger. The redhead to my right, your left, is Ronald Weasley, or Ron, and the raven-haired joker to my left is Harry Potter. We believe we are from an alternate reality."
Thum! Sirius had fainted.
~That dog is never going to live this down if I have anything to do with it.~
Later...
Looking around at the 10 unconscious and incapacitated people that now adorned his office, Dumbledore sighed.... I'll have to loan you some of my bunny and unicorn pajamas as well. Those hospital ones are simply disgraceful, especially for guests..."
*****
Chapter 5
Harry lay in a state half between waking and sleep, when suddenly an annoying singsong voice whifted through his head, penetrating his contented daze.
~Wakey, wakey ickle Harrikins! I know you need all the beauty rest you can get to compete with me but this is pushing it, even for you!~ Ron said sending him a self-satisfied smirk.
~Oi! Can't a guy enjoy a few winks now and then?~ Harry said groggily, slightly irritated. He liked actually resting, especially now that he had a choice.
~Yes Mr. Rip van Winkle~ Hermione said patronizingly ~But normally two weeks doesn't constitute a few winks. ~
Harry marveled slightly at the time he'd been sleeping(not that he hadn't slept that long before, but it had been a while) before setting his mind to trying to fake that he'd fallen back to sleep
~Oh no you don't mister~ Hermione said, stamping a mental foot. ~Don't you even dare try and pretend you're sleeping. Sleeping people don't emit concrete emotional patterns, so it won't work. You have to be awake for Ron to finish manipulating your energies, and balancing ours. And you have to help rebuild our filters, triggers, and shields since we were essentially magic-less for several hours. Might I add that that was mainly thanks to you and your silly pension for certain pranks-derived hexes!~
~Yeah, although seeing Snape and McGonnagal like that almost made it worth it.~ Ron added with a snort at the memory.
Hermione glared back at him. ~Shadow if you don't wake up this instant I'm going to get Sirius to wake you up, and maybe I'll add Snape in just so he can get even.~
With that Harry came fully awake, but didn't yet open his eyes.
~Much better~ said Ron, who went to work right away on balancing their magic and clearing the shared channels.
~Where am I ?~ Harry asked not wanting to open his eyes quite yet as the light seemed overly bright to his eyes, which hadn't been used in several weeks.
Hermione snickered . ~Come on Harry. Even with your eyes closed this place should be rather easy to identify, for you at least~
Harry, with a sinking sensation paid attention to his surroundings. The air smelled distinctly 'clean,' with a light lingering scent of sleeping potions and calming draughts...~Oh no~ he groaned opening his eyes and confirming his suspicions, taking in the pristine, white room, separating curtains, and Hermione and Ron propped up in beds on either side of him. ~Not again. Please tell me Poppy is on vacation?~ he practially whimpered, turning his head to faced Hermione.
Projecting false sympathy at him and with a lot of suppressed laughter she replied ~ Unfortunately for you, no. And she's in a regular old huff too. Ron here gave instructions for no one to even touch us until we all woke, so of course that's what Dumbledore told Madam Pomfrey. You know how she's gets when she's not allowed to do with her patients as she wills.~
~Yeah~ said Harry with growing dread of the inevitable confrontation. ~ Like a werewolf on the full moon.~
Ron, now finished with his job, nodded. ~Thus the reason for a tactical silence, at least to them. As long as she thinks we're sleeping she won't come in a badger us to know when she can poke and prod us to death. Dumbledore wouldn't even let her cast an alarm spell so the only way she'll know is if we're too loud or she suddenly decides to check in again. By the way, Dumbledore also told her of our –predicament – so she'll probably do a quick history.~
~So how long have you two been up anyways?~ Harry asked curiously. Normally all three of them woke up almost in unison when it was a case of magical exhaustion, but from their comments they had obviously woken up at least several hours before he had.
~ Ron here apparently was rather pissed off at you, so when he balanced out the remaining residues before we passed out, he didn't feed you nearly as much. He woke up yesterday afternoon, and I apparently woke up only a few hours later.~
~Yeah, well its not like it was any benefit.~ Ron grumbled ~ Poppy has us more secure in here than the old Order Headquarters. Since I woke up I have heard signs of around 10 failed infiltration attempts, although by who I don't know. I'm sure Sirius and Charlie were two, but there were a few other voices that were strangely familiar as well, although I cant place them.~
~That's what you get for shorting me out of my rightful attention.~ Harry replied sagely. Ron just stuck out his tongue
~Very mature Morpheus~
~Yes, it is isn't it? After all, maturity is just the 'ability to tell one idiot from another and pretend to like them all.' Think of it as a sign of affection dearest Shadow.~
~He's impossible~
~You just realized?~ (mione)
Finally noticing an odd noise coming from very near him and looked around puzzled.
~'Mione, Ron, what in Moldyfart's socks is that annoying humming noise?~
Hermione rolled her eyes and buried her head in her hands, letting out a very loud mental scream of frustration. Ron, however, found the situation much more amusing. ~ Yeah, touchy subject. She's not too happy about that. Harry, mate, take a good look around your immediate area.~
Confused as to what it could be and what would elicit such reactions from his friends, Harry propped himself up and took a closer look at his surroundings. Well, the beds were the same as he remembered, white, soft and covered in light blue blankets spelled to keep the bed's occupant at the perfect temperature. There was no one in the visitor's chairs at the moment. He didn't think anything was under the bed...nothing on the window either, and that was closed. Scratching his head he wondered what Ron could be talking about. As he was moving his arm back to the bed, Harry froze in horror at what he saw.
His right hand looked just like it normally did, with a long scar that spiraled along down his pointer finger and thumb to his wrist, courtesy of a rather odd whip he'd come into contact with that had a burning hex cast into the material. However, what horrified him was what was covering his arm from the wrist up. It was...he couldn't think it...it was too horrible...but he had to.
~You let Dumbledore dress me!~ he exclaimed in outrage at the two looking back and forth.
He was dressed, from head to toe, in fuzzy, fluorescent green pajamas covered in dueling fruits that were moving all over the place and incessantly singing one of the world's most annoying songs, "Bananas in Pajamas," accounting for the weird humming as the song had been muffled by the blanket. On his feet were banana slippers that seemed to be trying to dance on the bed.
~Sorry, mate. We were kind of unconscious when he did it. And you're not the only one.~ Ron replied with a mental grimace
Harry took a good look at Ron as he lifted his arm out from under the blanket, only for the small area to be filled with quiet, but still highly annoying voices of house elves singing "We're off to see the wizard." Ron was dressed in bright red pajamas that clashed horribly with his hair, making it look even brighter orange. All around it spiraled what must have been the yellow brick road, and from the little Harry could see it looked like there were small forests and houses with different people and animals randomly popping out. Yep, he definitely wasn't the only one.
Hermione had it the worst though, explaining her frustrated scream The pajamas were a mix of shades of blue, purple, and pink that just shouldn't be allowed. Harry thought they were supposed to be clouds and sky at sunset, but he wasn't sure. On it were tens of tiny snitches flying all over, with one wing actually made of cloth, fluttering all over the pajamas, which most undoubtedly tickled horribly. Chasing each was a rainbow bunny jumping up and down on top of a unicorn's head, holding onto its horn for balance. Every 5 or 10 seconds the bunny and unicorn would pause in their chase and gyrate comically to the music, with the bunny shaking its tail at the onlooker, doing something like the swim. The song for those pajamas was "Shake that thing." According to Hermione's defeated complaints, when she tried to sleep it would change to "There you'll be" and the bunny would start playing a violin.
As soon as Harry finished inspecting all aspects of their shared ordeal of sleepwear, all of them rushed to bury their arms under the blankets again to muffle the cacophony.
~The problem is, that we can't change them because they are apparently Dumbledore's favorite pajamas and Hermione doesn't want to hurt his feelings.~ Ron complained resignedly. Apparently they had been moaning about them for some time.
~Well, in my eleven-year-old self's words to you Hermione, a you a wizard and a witch or not?~ He teased, sending them fond, rebuking smiles at them.
~No!~ they both shouted at him, projecting danger and exasperation. But it was too late.
Without another thought Harry had waved his hand at the three of them, intending to silence all three of the pajama songs and freeze the fluttering snitch wings so as to preserve all of their sanities, Hermione's in particular. Things didn't go quite as he had intended though. As soon as he cast the spells the pajamas did fall silent and the snitches did freeze, however, so did everything else in the room.
~Um, oops?~ He said sheepishly
~Shadow you idiot! Remove the spells this instant. There was a reason we hadn't cast them. This! None of our permanent filters or control shields are up. You just froze and silenced half the castle! If we hadn't put up the preliminary filters it would have been all of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade as well.~ Hermione scolded going into one of her rants. ~Of all the irresponsible and stupid things to do. We told you when you first woke up! It was why you had to be awake, not that you should have been allowed to sleep any more since we were already up and being hassled by Pomfrey and the others when it was you who put us in such prolonged state there. It would only have taken a minute or two to set the up enough so that the spell would have worked normally, but no. You had to act like an impatient child and completely disregard caution.~ she paused to take a breath. Harry, seeing an opening cut in.
~I know Hermione. And I'm sorry, but I can't fix it if you're yelling at me since I'll just get yelled at more for not paying proper attention. It's easy to do and there is no harm done. I wasn't really paying attention to you when I was half-asleep, as I was reveling in the fact that I didn't have to come immediately awake. I know now.~ Harry apologized and assured her with clear overtones of sincerity and remorse. Recognizing the truth in his statement, she stored her lecture away for later, as he most assuredly would do something else stupid in the not too far future, and it had been a good lecture.
~Sorry Harry, you're right.~
~No problem, you just needed to get out a good scolding. With all the sleep you were no doubt over due by several weeks.~ He smirked, sending her into a fake pout and Ron into his 3rd snickering fit of the morning.
Harry thought carefully for a minute before he patterned a carefully constructed spell to reverse his little accident without reversing everything in the castle.
~Hey Ron, how bout a little help here. Just check my spell weave to make sure I don't disrupt any necessary and previously set spells.~
Composing himself and looking it over closely, Ron nodded. ~Its fine Harry, and I think I can use the residues to shield our clothes so your spell won't have been entirely a waste.~
~Great~ With tightly controlled concentration, he released the spell, hoping it would only affect what he intended it to. Thankfully, it worked and Ron was able to use the residues so they were left with very bright, but heavenly silent pajamas.
(Note: Ron's talent in manipulating magical fields and modifying spells is like Hermione's empathy in that it is outside of his normal magic and can still be used when that's all wonky – like working on a different level of consciousness or with something everyone else sees as invisible.)
They spent the next five minutes in a collective trance setting up the basic shields and power filters they needed in order to control their magic. They each had access to enormous magical power and reserves. However, a series of events had left them without what healers would call normal magical 'gates' or 'locks,' which allowed a wizard to manipulate the specific power and range of the spell. They had to create them themselves. After Dumbledore had died, they had been worried that they would be unable to control their magic if they used too much power again, because he had always set up the filters for them, had the occasion arose. However, after a bit of experimentation they discovered that if they went into a specific trance and worked in unison they could control their powers enough to set up their own filters that allowed them to maintain control. Two of them could limit the power, but all three were needed for complete control to be assured. They had actually found it even more effective than when Dumbledore did it, making them to only have to rebuild the filters if they had been almost completely magic-dry.
As they exited the first trance, they decided to leave the more complicated shields, triggers, and defense till later after noticing the presence of two other people in the 'room' (you can't really call a curtained off area a room, can you?), both of which they knew very well.
They snapped their eyes open in almost perfect unison and found Madam Pomfrey standing still looking rather disgruntled, hands on hips, and Professor Dumbledore with his ever-present twinkle and a rather pensive expression on his face.
"Good..." Harry looked around, realizing he didn't know what time of day it was and picked up his wand, muttering "Tempus" to see the time – 2:23 "...afternoon Professor Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey. What can we do for you?"
Dumbledore smiled at them, and cutting off whatever Pomfrey had opened her mouth to say greeted them. "It's good to see you awake Mr. Potter, good afternoon Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley."
"Good afternoon Professor Dumbledore." Chorused Ron and Hermione with great enthusiam, still marveling slightly that he was alive.
"I assume from what you were just doing that you were responsible for the little accident earlier that left many students frozen in mid-phrase as well as its reversal?" He chirped good naturedly.
"Yes, sorry about that Professor." Said Harry
~It's really weird calling him Professor, but I don't think it appropriate to call him Albus, right?~
~Definitely~ affirmed Hermione.
"You see Hermione here is most ticklish and the snitches were making her giggle uncontrollably, making it impossible for anyone to get any sleep. So, having just woken up I tried to freeze them and silence her, but I think I went a little overboard what with my sleepiness and lack of concentration." Harry covered smoothly. Couldn't be hurting the headmaster's feelings after all.
"Ah yes. Quite understandable. My apologies Ms. Granger in my choice for you. I hadn't considered that eventuality." Hermione nodded her acceptance of his apology while heroically keeping a straight face. "I also assume that your reasons for your instructions not to touch you until you all woke were pertaining to the filters you were just placing." He addressed to Ron.
"Yes professor. You see we all had a rather unusual experience a few years back leaving us with none of the traditional power gates, so every time we get tapped out we have to put them back ourselves." Ron replied professionally.
"I see. You do this a lot then?"
~There's the darn twinkle again. What is he up to?~
"Oh no sir, only once or twice in the past." He assured Dumbledore, looking rather worriedly at Madam Pomfrey, who appeared even more concerned and impatient now.
~Yeah, only when fighting and defeating crazed meglomaniac evil Dark Lords and then crossing magical planes into other dimensions. Well...at least this is the only time we've ever been this tapped out. Otherwise it would be like, oh, once every two months for the past 4 years or so.~ Commented Harry. Ron sent him a mental slap and a picture of a pink, furry Voldemort in the banana slippers Harry was wearing, before turning back to addressing Dumbledore and an increasingly impatient Madam Pomfrey.
"Only when our magical reserves get too low, which is rather rare. The other reason is Harry here tends to throw people across rooms when startled in his sleep."
~You did not just tell him that.~
"Oh dear. Yes, I can see how physical contact or even examination wouldn't be very good idea then, and if you have none of your normal shields even minor spells would set you off." Said Dumbledore, twinkling even more after a small glance at the now frantic nurse.
Hermione, resonating mischief chose this moment to speak up. "Yes, Madam Pomfrey in our world just kept a permanent shield and collection of specific spells around Harry's bed in the infirmary. That way she wouldn't have to worry about setting Harry off if he was unconscious by performing monitoring and power binding/sheilding charms so she could work, they were already in place."
Dumbledore cocked his head to one side, picking up on her phrasing. "His bed?"
~'Mione I am going to kill you.~ Harry growled at her, wincing slightly at Madam Pomfrey's calculating look.
Hermione, fully enjoying her position of advantage and making Harry uncomfortable ignored him other than making sure he got the waves of emotional intent that were reminiscent of a cat licking her lips before diving into the cream. Ron in the meantime was struggling to keep from bursting out laughing.
"Harry was a rather frequent visitor to the hospital wing. Actually, to say that he's has spent a lot of time here is the understatement of the century. He was practically on a first name basis with Madam Pomfrey by the end of his first year. Of course she normally ended up using 'Mr. Potter' since she was frequently at him about being more careful for whatever stupid thing he had done last." Madam Pomfrey hadn't stopped looking at Harry since Hermione had started, and he was starting to feel very uncomfortable.
~Um, Ron? A little help here?~ Harry pleaded.
~Sorry, mate. You're on your own. There is no way I'm getting between Madam Pomfrey and a patient she is that keen on. Besides, 'Mione and I owe you one. It was you, after all, that kept us out so long, and then you had the gall to be the last one to wake so we had to put up with Madam Pomfrey and her rants for a whole day. ~ Ron replied, his mind-voice filled with humor as Hermione continued.
"Our Madame Pomfrey always used to say she knew Harry better than she knew her own two hands because by the end of his fourth year he'd more than tripled the school record for most visits to the hospital wing in a student's entire stay at Hogwarts. One year he only lasted 5 minutes off of the Hogwarts express, and that was how long it took him to him to her
"But it wasn't my fault the Dementors made me pass out!" Harry complained from the bed before he was silenced by Madame Pomfrey with a scathing look.
~I am sooooooooooo going to get you for this 'Mione.~ he growled at her.
~I think not my dear Shadow. We owe you already for the stunt in Dumbledore's office. It was you're spells that put us all out for more than two weeks. Besides, I'm not nearly done. Save the threats for when they're truly deserved.~ she mocked wickedly
"Yes, the poor dear passes out from Dementors, or at least he did until he learned to conjure a corporeal patronus at the end of his third year. Oh Madame Pomfrey, you might want to check his left calf extra careful, I think he got Dementor blood on it a few weeks ago and the effects still haven't faded entirely." At her words Pomfrey's head snapped to look down at his leg, eyeing it almost predatorily. Harry glanced at Dumbledore who was merely listening attentively, his mouth quirking ever so slightly on one side, indicating his amusement at Harry's inevitable plight.
"A corporeal patronus at the age of 13. How extraordinary. What form did it take?'
"A stag." Harry grunted as Madam Pomfrey reached over to poke at where the injury supposedly was, hitting a particularly tender spot and tutting at his reaction. Dementors blood always left a nasty bruise-like sensation for several weeks after getting hit and it hurt like the devil if anyone hit it, much less prodded it intentionally. There had been too many more severely wounds after the Final Battle for Harry to pay attention and ask for a little temporary discomfort to be subsided. He'd definitely had much worse.
Ron and Hermione were wearing twin smirks. Unfortunately for him, they knew almost all of what constituted as much worse, and somehow he knew this wasn't over yet.
Ron picked up where Hermione left off. "Oh, and then there was that one year you almost missed the train back because you were captured forced into a blood ritual and held under the cruciatus for several minutes, all the while walking on that broken leg. It still bothers you doesn't it? Maybe you should get it looked at." Pomfrey was now frantically scribbling down the last few injuries Ron had listed off in order to check them, and regardless of the fact that they were still some of the more minor injuries he had accumulated and we over 4 years old, he had no doubt he'd be getting those checked in full as well. Yes, planning for revenge will definitely be high on the priority list of things to do while tied to a hospital bed.
Hermione, seeming to sense that anymore attention on the cause of his previous excursions here would not end pretty wrapped up the story.
"Anyways, Harry spent so much time here after a while Poppy simply assigned him a bed permanently, set up the spells, kept a few books, pictures and things for him in a side table, a trunk for all the gifts of admirers, and put his name on a small plaque above the bed so anyone bringing him in would know where to put him."
~My turn Artemis.~ Harry said with a sly grin.
~Uh oh.~ they said in unison
"Yes." Harry admitted, catching Dumbledore's attention with a twinkle of his own, "But if memory serves after both of them ended up with them own beds right next to mine during fifth year, especially after Hermione here survived a near-miss with a Dementor's kiss and got stuck in mid transf- figuration, resulting in her...unusual eyes."
'Ooo that was close, don't want Dumbledore knowing bout our animagi forms quite yet,' he thought. Hermione had been the first one to transform, but she'd done it in a panic after being attacked by far too many Dementors for her to drive off alone. The Dementor was about to start his kiss after sealing its lips, but due to their bond she'd been able to actually transfer her soul and consciousness to the bond (how, even she didn't know) for long enough to attempt the animagus transformation. She'd done it incompletely, but it was enough to break the Demetor's hold, both physically and mentally and she'd managed to escape. However, the experience had left her with cat's eyes permanently, and her time residing in the bond had awoken her empathic skills.
At this point Madam Pomfrey's head swiveled to look at Hermione, and started eyeing her the same way she had Harry.
~Ok Shadow. I give. Sorry 'bout spilling. Pleassssseee, don't tell too much more. We didn't tell all that much about you considering. Come on. We're sorry.~ Hermione said almost panicky, starting to pale much as Harry had when faced with the nurse's close scrutiny.
~Oh don't worry. I'm done with you for now Sekhmet (another nickname of Hermione's-see below 4 explanation). Now onto Morpheus.~ he taunted, giving them the mental equivalent of rubbing one's hands together in anticipation.
Madam Pomfrey had started to move over to Hermione to examine her eyes, now satisfied Harry didn't need immediate attention, but froze as he continued.
"Ron was given the honor of his own bed after he fell out of Gryffindor tower. The results of that were nowhere near the most severe injuries he's ever gotten, although he does have a rather nasty scar on his arm from the glass cutting into it as he tried to catch himself. It had some nerve damage that never really healed and should be checked out eventually, but is not much of a concern." That particular experience had been at the very beginning of their training, when they were attacked anytime anywhere by members of the Order of the Phoenix and the Hogwart's staff to teach them, in Moody's words, 'Constant Vigilance.'
Harry had said all of this as if lost in memory before popping right out of it and gracing Dumbledore with an all too innocent smile, although from the look in Dumbledore's eyes he knew all too well what Harry was doing.
"What's really rather remarkable is we were all put into our old beds. Those were fun days, sir. Sorry, I got lost in the past. Is there anything you wish to speak to us about right now?"
Dumbledore looked around absently in his 'looking pensive but really stalling for time to collect my thoughts' pose, taking in the three rather pale teens and Madam Pomfrey who could not seem to decide who she should inspect and seemed about to pull her hair out being unable to examine them all properly with their undivided attentions. Deciding to make a tactical retreat so that he too wasn't on the receiving end of her wrath, Dumbledore made a fast decision. After all, even the most powerful wizard in the world, is no match for an angry mediwitch on the prowl.
"It sounds like you all have had many adventures, and I was originally here to try and continue our previous discussion, but I am afraid I have some rather urgent business in ensuring my school remains standing and deterring a full out war between three of my Professors so you must excuse me. I'll leave you to Poppy's excellent care and I will be back in a couple of hours to continue our discussion." After noticing the nurse's stern glare, he amended, "Providing Poppy allows me of course." The nurse gave him a satisfied nod. "Well, Poppy, I will leave you to your patients, and I will hopefully see you later." And with that he left the curtained-off area in a hurry, leaving the three to the mercy of a rather irate medi-witch.
~We are all in soooooo much trouble.~ moaned Ron.
~I could have told you that from the moment I woke up here~ Harry sighed ~But you guys had to go giving her more ammo.~
~Yes, well since we're all stuck here together, let's call it even, huh?~
~Sure thing. I think we're gonna need all the help we can get.~
Sweeping them with a stern look that rivaled McGonnagal at her worst, Madam Pomfrey, hands on hips addressed her new victims, who were paling more every second. "As I am finally allowed to examine my own patients, I will now conduct a fully examination of each of you so I can start a medical record for each of you, seeing as there isn't one in this dimension." At this all three of them gulped, Harry most noticeably as he was sure a full examination and compilation of all past injuries could take weeks, possibly months. "I expect you all to be fully cooperative," her glare got even more threatening, "and none of you are to leave your beds until I say so."
"Now, I'm going to start with a chart of general information pertaining to your past stays here, since you all are apparently not too concerned about any injuries you might have." Eyeing her victims, she opted for starting with the one she had the most information on so far.
"Mr. Potter, how many visits have you made to the infirmary, and how many were long term, requiring you to stay overnight?"
Harry ducked his head and mumbled something. "I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, what was that?"
Looking up nervously he repeated, "I'm not sure Poppy, I'll have to count. Could you perhaps continue with Hermione and Ron first?"
She eyed him, her gaze softening a bit at the use of her first name and his obvious sincerity and nodded, continuing on with Hermione and Ron as Harry tried to tally up his many visits to the infirmary.
~Good luck Harry~ Hermione sent sympathetically. ~Even I stopped counting after about your 150th visit. I'd say about 200, with around half of those being overnight, but I could be short by even as many as 50 for the total visits.~
~Thanks ever so much for getting me into this. You know she never would have been so keen on knowing if you hadn't started.~
Hermione just huffed at him and turned her full attention back to the interrogation.
Finally, after almost 20 minutes and for the others what was about 15 questions, Harry spoke up rather sheepishly, taking a deep breath. "284 visits to the infirmary and 127, give or take a few, of those were with at least one night spent here." Seeing her wide eyes and the impending explosion, Harry continued quickly, trying to explain and babbling at practically light speed. "I don't know if anyone told you, but there was a war where we were the past for years, so most of the overnight visits were in the last 4 years – I practically lived in the infirmary." His voice faded on the last word as he noticed his speech had done little, and all three were staring at him.
"Wow Shadow! That's more than I would have ever guessed. Impressive, even for you." Ron said with false bravado, as the first one to break out of their shock.
Privately he sent Harry a message with more than little fear directed towards Madam Pomfrey, who was now spluttering over Ron, staring wide-eyed at Harry.
~Mate, I think you should have lied. She looks like she's going to have a heart attack and I don't think we'll ever get you out of here after that. Even being best mates with you I only racked up 62 visits with 39 being overnighters. All of the overnighters were from the war too.~
~For once I agree. Goodness gracious Harry even I never thought it would be that many. I have 76 visits with 51 overnights, what with being petrified in second year and the aftermath and all, but that's nowhere near close. And this is not our Madam Pomfey we're dealing with either who has had 8 years to get used to your accident-proneness. She's had all of one day, and is as bad as Poppy was in the beginning. I think maybe you should put on the puppy face and hope to survive the next ten minutes.~
~Yeah mate, and avoid the question as to how long your longest stay was and with all of them what's about average. She just about fainted when 'Mione said 2 months because she was petrified, followed by a wonderful rant. If after what you just said she hears that your average stay was about half a week or more and with 3 months being your longest stay I think you'll be put in a glass bubble for life if she has her way.~
~Yeah~ said Harry dejectedly ~I agree, but I think I'd rather get some of the hysterics over with now than deal with he when she finds out I'm lying. She's sure to do that spell that gives a read out of all past injuries, and she's have noticed that I'll have a lot more past injuries than I should have.~
~True. Well, good luck Shadow. At least the heat is off of us, and you can always disapparate and then deal with her later if it gets too much...course then you'll have to explain that too.~ Ron replied as if he was considering the idea himself. What they had affectionately dubbed 'Poppy Purgatory' several years ago was not exactly a pleasant experience, no matter how physically well one left afterwards.
Harry looked as if he was trying to dissolve into the floor as Poppy (I'm tired of writing Madam Pomfrey) stalked over to the foot of his bed and slammed her clipboard down onto the small table that adorned the floor tiles there.
"What. On. EARTH. Have. You. Been DOING. With yourself child!" She screeched, heaving a breath in between each punctuated word. "What was I doing with you to let you get away with it!"
~Oh my. Harry, you'd better do something quick. She's too riled up for me to reach her with a projection.~ Hermione babbled at him, rather flustered from the strong emotions she couldn't block out, continuing to mutter in the back of their minds about natural empath inhibitors. ~Why, on Smoldywart's dead corpse, of all the people in the world do the two people who can break through my shields and completely block me have to be Poppy and Sirius. The two people in all of the order, outside of Mrs. Weasley, that have the worst tempers and often don't listen to reason. In all the Death Eaters' cursed names and graves, why them! Oh of course Albus can calm them since he simply uses Legilmency and mind suggestions, but noooooo, I can't do it because they freakin' BLOCK EMPATHIC PROJECTIONS!~
As Hermione continued her mental rant, Poppy hadn't halted her verbal assault on the room, now screaming towards the right curtain about 'irresponsible headmasters,' 'invincibility complexes,''rash, irresponsible youths,' and 'accident-prone Potter offsrping' while pacing back and forth in the small section of the hospital wing. In other words, the usual.
Harry, quickly formed an imperfect, but hopefully effective plan. He figured if he calmed down Poppy, Hermione would calm down with her since most of Hermione's problem was she couldn't block out Poppy's emotions almost at all, even with Ron helping as he was. He decided to try an even cheaper and more underhanded of an old classic ploy.
Putting on his best 'sad puppy dog face' per Hermione's original suggestion he practically whimpered aloud, "I'm sorry Madam Pomfrey, I really am. I tried to stay out of trouble truly I did. I didn't ask for my parents to be murdered when I was a baby. Voldemort's been after me for as long as I can remember. I was just trying to stay alive, and its all thanks to you're wonderful care that I'm here today. Thank you so much for everything from before, even if it wasn't really you. You're the best mediwitch I know. I promise I'll be a good patient and do everything you tell me. Please don't be mad at me." He ended with his best begging, innocent child voice and expression.
He had morphed himself just the slightest so he looked younger and more helpless, figuring he had to exercise his powers anyways to break through any remaining trace residue in his magical channels so it wouldn't build up and need Ron's attentions, so he might as well use his metamorphmagus powers to an advantage, and in her current state, Poppy probably wouldn't notice.
His first words had caught her attention, especially the Voldemort, and his Dobby-like impression at the end must have really impressed her, because she showed an almost immediate about-faced in attitude that if she hadn't been so terrifying before and the three of them weren't in such control of their emotions would have had them rolling around on the floor in laughter.
"Oh you poor thing brave thing. I can't believe you say his name! What all of you have had to go through. Of course I'm not mad at you, just very shocked and slightly appalled at how many injuries you must have." She paused and gave him a rueful look. "Of course knowing your family, I should have expected something of the sort. Well we might as well get all of this over with so let me go get a... lot more parchment to put your records on and a slight calming draught for myself and then we'll continue your examinations. And please, call me Poppy." With a fond smile at him she turned around and left the 'room.'
As soon as she left, Harry morphed back into his older self once more, and turned to smile at the now quiet and calm Hermione.
~Feeling better now?~
~Yes, thank you Harry. I must say I'm impressed. That has got to be the fastest you have ever calmed her down, although you always did have a talent for that.~
~Must be the long-term exposure~ Harry replied wryly.
~Brilliant plan mate. Couldn't have done better myself. What's she gonna do when you duck out of here first chance you get though?~ (ron)
~She'll get over it. She always does, and I always remain her favorite patient.~ Said Harry unconcernedly. He'd save the concern for when he was actually facing that Poppy. After all, Poppy was apparently something that didn't change much no matter what dimension you were in.
***********
Wow, 6000 more words! There's actually about another 12 pages to this chapter, but I figured it's too long already and that you'd want a new chapter now. I couldn't check all of it so I cut this one off here and will get the next out probably tomorrow.
For the number of Harry's hospital visits: I know it seems extreme, but I averaged about 30-35 per year for 8 years overall. I myself have probably seen to a doctor or physical therapist for about 40-45 separate visits this year, and if you're in Hagrid's classes and intensive DADA w/ quidditch and/or a war, every year should at least come close 2 that.
Plz. review but remember, be gentle – I can use all the help I can get, but you don't have 2 read if you don't like and flames aren't fun (not that any of my wonderful reviewers have sent me any).
Again squeaks and lemon drops to all and I'll add in a few canary creams cuz I'm in a good mood having finished the I.B.
'Quick' recap of special powers and info for anyone confused:
All are animagi – Hermione is some sort of cat
Hermione is an empath, awakened due to spending a short period with her soul essentially balanced between Harry and Ron's bodies on their bond after an encounter with a Dementor.
Harry is a metamorphmagus (the whole hair growing thing and all makes it work)
Ron's powers are hard to describe, but he essentially has the ability to act like a magic-doctor, balancing power levels, checking signatures, channeling or helping channel/block Harry and Hermione's powers etc. He can also block Harry's scar and the connection with Voldemort. That how he originally got his nickname, Morpheus, by guarding Harry's dreams.
Their nicknames: Harry is Shadow
Hermione is Artemis - bast and Sekhmet are half-cat goddesses in Egyptian mythology, each the opposite of each other. While Bast is the maiden, Sekhmet is the crone. Bast is the protector while Sekhmet is the creator, destroyer, and wisdom. All fit Hermione, but they can't combine. Artemis is greek equivalent is sometimes represented as half-cat as well. She is the maiden goddess, but also has lesser worshiped characteristics like wisdom and psychic powers. She is the huntress and protector – there are direct parallels to harry's animagi form (which you don't know). When Ron and Harry get mad at her or frustrated they tease her by calling her either bast or Sekhmet, knowing she knows what they're implying, either old and stuck up or young and ditzy.
Ron is Morpheus: originally for his ability to enter dreams and stop Harry's from Voldemort.
Thanks soooooo much to all my reviewers. I love reviews, especially when they're nice (.
So sorry for the delay. I know I promised. Don't hate me! I'm stuck in Serbia (don't ask) without internet. I went all the way across the city to an internet café just for all you wonderful people, and I'm going back home 2morrow so I should have the next one up as soon as I get home.
Hope you like it n I promise more will happen in terms of plot, new characters, etc. in the next few chapters. I'm kind of still in the introduction fo characters stage but its getting to the good stuff.
"regular speech"
~ telepathy/mindspeech ~
'thoughts'
***Last Chapter*** My name is Hermione Granger. The redhead to my right, your left, is Ronald Weasley, or Ron, and the raven-haired joker to my left is Harry Potter. We believe we are from an alternate reality."
Thum! Sirius had fainted.
~That dog is never going to live this down if I have anything to do with it.~
Later...
Looking around at the 10 unconscious and incapacitated people that now adorned his office, Dumbledore sighed.... I'll have to loan you some of my bunny and unicorn pajamas as well. Those hospital ones are simply disgraceful, especially for guests..."
*****
Chapter 5
Harry lay in a state half between waking and sleep, when suddenly an annoying singsong voice whifted through his head, penetrating his contented daze.
~Wakey, wakey ickle Harrikins! I know you need all the beauty rest you can get to compete with me but this is pushing it, even for you!~ Ron said sending him a self-satisfied smirk.
~Oi! Can't a guy enjoy a few winks now and then?~ Harry said groggily, slightly irritated. He liked actually resting, especially now that he had a choice.
~Yes Mr. Rip van Winkle~ Hermione said patronizingly ~But normally two weeks doesn't constitute a few winks. ~
Harry marveled slightly at the time he'd been sleeping(not that he hadn't slept that long before, but it had been a while) before setting his mind to trying to fake that he'd fallen back to sleep
~Oh no you don't mister~ Hermione said, stamping a mental foot. ~Don't you even dare try and pretend you're sleeping. Sleeping people don't emit concrete emotional patterns, so it won't work. You have to be awake for Ron to finish manipulating your energies, and balancing ours. And you have to help rebuild our filters, triggers, and shields since we were essentially magic-less for several hours. Might I add that that was mainly thanks to you and your silly pension for certain pranks-derived hexes!~
~Yeah, although seeing Snape and McGonnagal like that almost made it worth it.~ Ron added with a snort at the memory.
Hermione glared back at him. ~Shadow if you don't wake up this instant I'm going to get Sirius to wake you up, and maybe I'll add Snape in just so he can get even.~
With that Harry came fully awake, but didn't yet open his eyes.
~Much better~ said Ron, who went to work right away on balancing their magic and clearing the shared channels.
~Where am I ?~ Harry asked not wanting to open his eyes quite yet as the light seemed overly bright to his eyes, which hadn't been used in several weeks.
Hermione snickered . ~Come on Harry. Even with your eyes closed this place should be rather easy to identify, for you at least~
Harry, with a sinking sensation paid attention to his surroundings. The air smelled distinctly 'clean,' with a light lingering scent of sleeping potions and calming draughts...~Oh no~ he groaned opening his eyes and confirming his suspicions, taking in the pristine, white room, separating curtains, and Hermione and Ron propped up in beds on either side of him. ~Not again. Please tell me Poppy is on vacation?~ he practially whimpered, turning his head to faced Hermione.
Projecting false sympathy at him and with a lot of suppressed laughter she replied ~ Unfortunately for you, no. And she's in a regular old huff too. Ron here gave instructions for no one to even touch us until we all woke, so of course that's what Dumbledore told Madam Pomfrey. You know how she's gets when she's not allowed to do with her patients as she wills.~
~Yeah~ said Harry with growing dread of the inevitable confrontation. ~ Like a werewolf on the full moon.~
Ron, now finished with his job, nodded. ~Thus the reason for a tactical silence, at least to them. As long as she thinks we're sleeping she won't come in a badger us to know when she can poke and prod us to death. Dumbledore wouldn't even let her cast an alarm spell so the only way she'll know is if we're too loud or she suddenly decides to check in again. By the way, Dumbledore also told her of our –predicament – so she'll probably do a quick history.~
~So how long have you two been up anyways?~ Harry asked curiously. Normally all three of them woke up almost in unison when it was a case of magical exhaustion, but from their comments they had obviously woken up at least several hours before he had.
~ Ron here apparently was rather pissed off at you, so when he balanced out the remaining residues before we passed out, he didn't feed you nearly as much. He woke up yesterday afternoon, and I apparently woke up only a few hours later.~
~Yeah, well its not like it was any benefit.~ Ron grumbled ~ Poppy has us more secure in here than the old Order Headquarters. Since I woke up I have heard signs of around 10 failed infiltration attempts, although by who I don't know. I'm sure Sirius and Charlie were two, but there were a few other voices that were strangely familiar as well, although I cant place them.~
~That's what you get for shorting me out of my rightful attention.~ Harry replied sagely. Ron just stuck out his tongue
~Very mature Morpheus~
~Yes, it is isn't it? After all, maturity is just the 'ability to tell one idiot from another and pretend to like them all.' Think of it as a sign of affection dearest Shadow.~
~He's impossible~
~You just realized?~ (mione)
Finally noticing an odd noise coming from very near him and looked around puzzled.
~'Mione, Ron, what in Moldyfart's socks is that annoying humming noise?~
Hermione rolled her eyes and buried her head in her hands, letting out a very loud mental scream of frustration. Ron, however, found the situation much more amusing. ~ Yeah, touchy subject. She's not too happy about that. Harry, mate, take a good look around your immediate area.~
Confused as to what it could be and what would elicit such reactions from his friends, Harry propped himself up and took a closer look at his surroundings. Well, the beds were the same as he remembered, white, soft and covered in light blue blankets spelled to keep the bed's occupant at the perfect temperature. There was no one in the visitor's chairs at the moment. He didn't think anything was under the bed...nothing on the window either, and that was closed. Scratching his head he wondered what Ron could be talking about. As he was moving his arm back to the bed, Harry froze in horror at what he saw.
His right hand looked just like it normally did, with a long scar that spiraled along down his pointer finger and thumb to his wrist, courtesy of a rather odd whip he'd come into contact with that had a burning hex cast into the material. However, what horrified him was what was covering his arm from the wrist up. It was...he couldn't think it...it was too horrible...but he had to.
~You let Dumbledore dress me!~ he exclaimed in outrage at the two looking back and forth.
He was dressed, from head to toe, in fuzzy, fluorescent green pajamas covered in dueling fruits that were moving all over the place and incessantly singing one of the world's most annoying songs, "Bananas in Pajamas," accounting for the weird humming as the song had been muffled by the blanket. On his feet were banana slippers that seemed to be trying to dance on the bed.
~Sorry, mate. We were kind of unconscious when he did it. And you're not the only one.~ Ron replied with a mental grimace
Harry took a good look at Ron as he lifted his arm out from under the blanket, only for the small area to be filled with quiet, but still highly annoying voices of house elves singing "We're off to see the wizard." Ron was dressed in bright red pajamas that clashed horribly with his hair, making it look even brighter orange. All around it spiraled what must have been the yellow brick road, and from the little Harry could see it looked like there were small forests and houses with different people and animals randomly popping out. Yep, he definitely wasn't the only one.
Hermione had it the worst though, explaining her frustrated scream The pajamas were a mix of shades of blue, purple, and pink that just shouldn't be allowed. Harry thought they were supposed to be clouds and sky at sunset, but he wasn't sure. On it were tens of tiny snitches flying all over, with one wing actually made of cloth, fluttering all over the pajamas, which most undoubtedly tickled horribly. Chasing each was a rainbow bunny jumping up and down on top of a unicorn's head, holding onto its horn for balance. Every 5 or 10 seconds the bunny and unicorn would pause in their chase and gyrate comically to the music, with the bunny shaking its tail at the onlooker, doing something like the swim. The song for those pajamas was "Shake that thing." According to Hermione's defeated complaints, when she tried to sleep it would change to "There you'll be" and the bunny would start playing a violin.
As soon as Harry finished inspecting all aspects of their shared ordeal of sleepwear, all of them rushed to bury their arms under the blankets again to muffle the cacophony.
~The problem is, that we can't change them because they are apparently Dumbledore's favorite pajamas and Hermione doesn't want to hurt his feelings.~ Ron complained resignedly. Apparently they had been moaning about them for some time.
~Well, in my eleven-year-old self's words to you Hermione, a you a wizard and a witch or not?~ He teased, sending them fond, rebuking smiles at them.
~No!~ they both shouted at him, projecting danger and exasperation. But it was too late.
Without another thought Harry had waved his hand at the three of them, intending to silence all three of the pajama songs and freeze the fluttering snitch wings so as to preserve all of their sanities, Hermione's in particular. Things didn't go quite as he had intended though. As soon as he cast the spells the pajamas did fall silent and the snitches did freeze, however, so did everything else in the room.
~Um, oops?~ He said sheepishly
~Shadow you idiot! Remove the spells this instant. There was a reason we hadn't cast them. This! None of our permanent filters or control shields are up. You just froze and silenced half the castle! If we hadn't put up the preliminary filters it would have been all of Hogwarts and Hogsmeade as well.~ Hermione scolded going into one of her rants. ~Of all the irresponsible and stupid things to do. We told you when you first woke up! It was why you had to be awake, not that you should have been allowed to sleep any more since we were already up and being hassled by Pomfrey and the others when it was you who put us in such prolonged state there. It would only have taken a minute or two to set the up enough so that the spell would have worked normally, but no. You had to act like an impatient child and completely disregard caution.~ she paused to take a breath. Harry, seeing an opening cut in.
~I know Hermione. And I'm sorry, but I can't fix it if you're yelling at me since I'll just get yelled at more for not paying proper attention. It's easy to do and there is no harm done. I wasn't really paying attention to you when I was half-asleep, as I was reveling in the fact that I didn't have to come immediately awake. I know now.~ Harry apologized and assured her with clear overtones of sincerity and remorse. Recognizing the truth in his statement, she stored her lecture away for later, as he most assuredly would do something else stupid in the not too far future, and it had been a good lecture.
~Sorry Harry, you're right.~
~No problem, you just needed to get out a good scolding. With all the sleep you were no doubt over due by several weeks.~ He smirked, sending her into a fake pout and Ron into his 3rd snickering fit of the morning.
Harry thought carefully for a minute before he patterned a carefully constructed spell to reverse his little accident without reversing everything in the castle.
~Hey Ron, how bout a little help here. Just check my spell weave to make sure I don't disrupt any necessary and previously set spells.~
Composing himself and looking it over closely, Ron nodded. ~Its fine Harry, and I think I can use the residues to shield our clothes so your spell won't have been entirely a waste.~
~Great~ With tightly controlled concentration, he released the spell, hoping it would only affect what he intended it to. Thankfully, it worked and Ron was able to use the residues so they were left with very bright, but heavenly silent pajamas.
(Note: Ron's talent in manipulating magical fields and modifying spells is like Hermione's empathy in that it is outside of his normal magic and can still be used when that's all wonky – like working on a different level of consciousness or with something everyone else sees as invisible.)
They spent the next five minutes in a collective trance setting up the basic shields and power filters they needed in order to control their magic. They each had access to enormous magical power and reserves. However, a series of events had left them without what healers would call normal magical 'gates' or 'locks,' which allowed a wizard to manipulate the specific power and range of the spell. They had to create them themselves. After Dumbledore had died, they had been worried that they would be unable to control their magic if they used too much power again, because he had always set up the filters for them, had the occasion arose. However, after a bit of experimentation they discovered that if they went into a specific trance and worked in unison they could control their powers enough to set up their own filters that allowed them to maintain control. Two of them could limit the power, but all three were needed for complete control to be assured. They had actually found it even more effective than when Dumbledore did it, making them to only have to rebuild the filters if they had been almost completely magic-dry.
As they exited the first trance, they decided to leave the more complicated shields, triggers, and defense till later after noticing the presence of two other people in the 'room' (you can't really call a curtained off area a room, can you?), both of which they knew very well.
They snapped their eyes open in almost perfect unison and found Madam Pomfrey standing still looking rather disgruntled, hands on hips, and Professor Dumbledore with his ever-present twinkle and a rather pensive expression on his face.
"Good..." Harry looked around, realizing he didn't know what time of day it was and picked up his wand, muttering "Tempus" to see the time – 2:23 "...afternoon Professor Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey. What can we do for you?"
Dumbledore smiled at them, and cutting off whatever Pomfrey had opened her mouth to say greeted them. "It's good to see you awake Mr. Potter, good afternoon Ms. Granger, Mr. Weasley."
"Good afternoon Professor Dumbledore." Chorused Ron and Hermione with great enthusiam, still marveling slightly that he was alive.
"I assume from what you were just doing that you were responsible for the little accident earlier that left many students frozen in mid-phrase as well as its reversal?" He chirped good naturedly.
"Yes, sorry about that Professor." Said Harry
~It's really weird calling him Professor, but I don't think it appropriate to call him Albus, right?~
~Definitely~ affirmed Hermione.
"You see Hermione here is most ticklish and the snitches were making her giggle uncontrollably, making it impossible for anyone to get any sleep. So, having just woken up I tried to freeze them and silence her, but I think I went a little overboard what with my sleepiness and lack of concentration." Harry covered smoothly. Couldn't be hurting the headmaster's feelings after all.
"Ah yes. Quite understandable. My apologies Ms. Granger in my choice for you. I hadn't considered that eventuality." Hermione nodded her acceptance of his apology while heroically keeping a straight face. "I also assume that your reasons for your instructions not to touch you until you all woke were pertaining to the filters you were just placing." He addressed to Ron.
"Yes professor. You see we all had a rather unusual experience a few years back leaving us with none of the traditional power gates, so every time we get tapped out we have to put them back ourselves." Ron replied professionally.
"I see. You do this a lot then?"
~There's the darn twinkle again. What is he up to?~
"Oh no sir, only once or twice in the past." He assured Dumbledore, looking rather worriedly at Madam Pomfrey, who appeared even more concerned and impatient now.
~Yeah, only when fighting and defeating crazed meglomaniac evil Dark Lords and then crossing magical planes into other dimensions. Well...at least this is the only time we've ever been this tapped out. Otherwise it would be like, oh, once every two months for the past 4 years or so.~ Commented Harry. Ron sent him a mental slap and a picture of a pink, furry Voldemort in the banana slippers Harry was wearing, before turning back to addressing Dumbledore and an increasingly impatient Madam Pomfrey.
"Only when our magical reserves get too low, which is rather rare. The other reason is Harry here tends to throw people across rooms when startled in his sleep."
~You did not just tell him that.~
"Oh dear. Yes, I can see how physical contact or even examination wouldn't be very good idea then, and if you have none of your normal shields even minor spells would set you off." Said Dumbledore, twinkling even more after a small glance at the now frantic nurse.
Hermione, resonating mischief chose this moment to speak up. "Yes, Madam Pomfrey in our world just kept a permanent shield and collection of specific spells around Harry's bed in the infirmary. That way she wouldn't have to worry about setting Harry off if he was unconscious by performing monitoring and power binding/sheilding charms so she could work, they were already in place."
Dumbledore cocked his head to one side, picking up on her phrasing. "His bed?"
~'Mione I am going to kill you.~ Harry growled at her, wincing slightly at Madam Pomfrey's calculating look.
Hermione, fully enjoying her position of advantage and making Harry uncomfortable ignored him other than making sure he got the waves of emotional intent that were reminiscent of a cat licking her lips before diving into the cream. Ron in the meantime was struggling to keep from bursting out laughing.
"Harry was a rather frequent visitor to the hospital wing. Actually, to say that he's has spent a lot of time here is the understatement of the century. He was practically on a first name basis with Madam Pomfrey by the end of his first year. Of course she normally ended up using 'Mr. Potter' since she was frequently at him about being more careful for whatever stupid thing he had done last." Madam Pomfrey hadn't stopped looking at Harry since Hermione had started, and he was starting to feel very uncomfortable.
~Um, Ron? A little help here?~ Harry pleaded.
~Sorry, mate. You're on your own. There is no way I'm getting between Madam Pomfrey and a patient she is that keen on. Besides, 'Mione and I owe you one. It was you, after all, that kept us out so long, and then you had the gall to be the last one to wake so we had to put up with Madam Pomfrey and her rants for a whole day. ~ Ron replied, his mind-voice filled with humor as Hermione continued.
"Our Madame Pomfrey always used to say she knew Harry better than she knew her own two hands because by the end of his fourth year he'd more than tripled the school record for most visits to the hospital wing in a student's entire stay at Hogwarts. One year he only lasted 5 minutes off of the Hogwarts express, and that was how long it took him to him to her
"But it wasn't my fault the Dementors made me pass out!" Harry complained from the bed before he was silenced by Madame Pomfrey with a scathing look.
~I am sooooooooooo going to get you for this 'Mione.~ he growled at her.
~I think not my dear Shadow. We owe you already for the stunt in Dumbledore's office. It was you're spells that put us all out for more than two weeks. Besides, I'm not nearly done. Save the threats for when they're truly deserved.~ she mocked wickedly
"Yes, the poor dear passes out from Dementors, or at least he did until he learned to conjure a corporeal patronus at the end of his third year. Oh Madame Pomfrey, you might want to check his left calf extra careful, I think he got Dementor blood on it a few weeks ago and the effects still haven't faded entirely." At her words Pomfrey's head snapped to look down at his leg, eyeing it almost predatorily. Harry glanced at Dumbledore who was merely listening attentively, his mouth quirking ever so slightly on one side, indicating his amusement at Harry's inevitable plight.
"A corporeal patronus at the age of 13. How extraordinary. What form did it take?'
"A stag." Harry grunted as Madam Pomfrey reached over to poke at where the injury supposedly was, hitting a particularly tender spot and tutting at his reaction. Dementors blood always left a nasty bruise-like sensation for several weeks after getting hit and it hurt like the devil if anyone hit it, much less prodded it intentionally. There had been too many more severely wounds after the Final Battle for Harry to pay attention and ask for a little temporary discomfort to be subsided. He'd definitely had much worse.
Ron and Hermione were wearing twin smirks. Unfortunately for him, they knew almost all of what constituted as much worse, and somehow he knew this wasn't over yet.
Ron picked up where Hermione left off. "Oh, and then there was that one year you almost missed the train back because you were captured forced into a blood ritual and held under the cruciatus for several minutes, all the while walking on that broken leg. It still bothers you doesn't it? Maybe you should get it looked at." Pomfrey was now frantically scribbling down the last few injuries Ron had listed off in order to check them, and regardless of the fact that they were still some of the more minor injuries he had accumulated and we over 4 years old, he had no doubt he'd be getting those checked in full as well. Yes, planning for revenge will definitely be high on the priority list of things to do while tied to a hospital bed.
Hermione, seeming to sense that anymore attention on the cause of his previous excursions here would not end pretty wrapped up the story.
"Anyways, Harry spent so much time here after a while Poppy simply assigned him a bed permanently, set up the spells, kept a few books, pictures and things for him in a side table, a trunk for all the gifts of admirers, and put his name on a small plaque above the bed so anyone bringing him in would know where to put him."
~My turn Artemis.~ Harry said with a sly grin.
~Uh oh.~ they said in unison
"Yes." Harry admitted, catching Dumbledore's attention with a twinkle of his own, "But if memory serves after both of them ended up with them own beds right next to mine during fifth year, especially after Hermione here survived a near-miss with a Dementor's kiss and got stuck in mid transf- figuration, resulting in her...unusual eyes."
'Ooo that was close, don't want Dumbledore knowing bout our animagi forms quite yet,' he thought. Hermione had been the first one to transform, but she'd done it in a panic after being attacked by far too many Dementors for her to drive off alone. The Dementor was about to start his kiss after sealing its lips, but due to their bond she'd been able to actually transfer her soul and consciousness to the bond (how, even she didn't know) for long enough to attempt the animagus transformation. She'd done it incompletely, but it was enough to break the Demetor's hold, both physically and mentally and she'd managed to escape. However, the experience had left her with cat's eyes permanently, and her time residing in the bond had awoken her empathic skills.
At this point Madam Pomfrey's head swiveled to look at Hermione, and started eyeing her the same way she had Harry.
~Ok Shadow. I give. Sorry 'bout spilling. Pleassssseee, don't tell too much more. We didn't tell all that much about you considering. Come on. We're sorry.~ Hermione said almost panicky, starting to pale much as Harry had when faced with the nurse's close scrutiny.
~Oh don't worry. I'm done with you for now Sekhmet (another nickname of Hermione's-see below 4 explanation). Now onto Morpheus.~ he taunted, giving them the mental equivalent of rubbing one's hands together in anticipation.
Madam Pomfrey had started to move over to Hermione to examine her eyes, now satisfied Harry didn't need immediate attention, but froze as he continued.
"Ron was given the honor of his own bed after he fell out of Gryffindor tower. The results of that were nowhere near the most severe injuries he's ever gotten, although he does have a rather nasty scar on his arm from the glass cutting into it as he tried to catch himself. It had some nerve damage that never really healed and should be checked out eventually, but is not much of a concern." That particular experience had been at the very beginning of their training, when they were attacked anytime anywhere by members of the Order of the Phoenix and the Hogwart's staff to teach them, in Moody's words, 'Constant Vigilance.'
Harry had said all of this as if lost in memory before popping right out of it and gracing Dumbledore with an all too innocent smile, although from the look in Dumbledore's eyes he knew all too well what Harry was doing.
"What's really rather remarkable is we were all put into our old beds. Those were fun days, sir. Sorry, I got lost in the past. Is there anything you wish to speak to us about right now?"
Dumbledore looked around absently in his 'looking pensive but really stalling for time to collect my thoughts' pose, taking in the three rather pale teens and Madam Pomfrey who could not seem to decide who she should inspect and seemed about to pull her hair out being unable to examine them all properly with their undivided attentions. Deciding to make a tactical retreat so that he too wasn't on the receiving end of her wrath, Dumbledore made a fast decision. After all, even the most powerful wizard in the world, is no match for an angry mediwitch on the prowl.
"It sounds like you all have had many adventures, and I was originally here to try and continue our previous discussion, but I am afraid I have some rather urgent business in ensuring my school remains standing and deterring a full out war between three of my Professors so you must excuse me. I'll leave you to Poppy's excellent care and I will be back in a couple of hours to continue our discussion." After noticing the nurse's stern glare, he amended, "Providing Poppy allows me of course." The nurse gave him a satisfied nod. "Well, Poppy, I will leave you to your patients, and I will hopefully see you later." And with that he left the curtained-off area in a hurry, leaving the three to the mercy of a rather irate medi-witch.
~We are all in soooooo much trouble.~ moaned Ron.
~I could have told you that from the moment I woke up here~ Harry sighed ~But you guys had to go giving her more ammo.~
~Yes, well since we're all stuck here together, let's call it even, huh?~
~Sure thing. I think we're gonna need all the help we can get.~
Sweeping them with a stern look that rivaled McGonnagal at her worst, Madam Pomfrey, hands on hips addressed her new victims, who were paling more every second. "As I am finally allowed to examine my own patients, I will now conduct a fully examination of each of you so I can start a medical record for each of you, seeing as there isn't one in this dimension." At this all three of them gulped, Harry most noticeably as he was sure a full examination and compilation of all past injuries could take weeks, possibly months. "I expect you all to be fully cooperative," her glare got even more threatening, "and none of you are to leave your beds until I say so."
"Now, I'm going to start with a chart of general information pertaining to your past stays here, since you all are apparently not too concerned about any injuries you might have." Eyeing her victims, she opted for starting with the one she had the most information on so far.
"Mr. Potter, how many visits have you made to the infirmary, and how many were long term, requiring you to stay overnight?"
Harry ducked his head and mumbled something. "I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, what was that?"
Looking up nervously he repeated, "I'm not sure Poppy, I'll have to count. Could you perhaps continue with Hermione and Ron first?"
She eyed him, her gaze softening a bit at the use of her first name and his obvious sincerity and nodded, continuing on with Hermione and Ron as Harry tried to tally up his many visits to the infirmary.
~Good luck Harry~ Hermione sent sympathetically. ~Even I stopped counting after about your 150th visit. I'd say about 200, with around half of those being overnight, but I could be short by even as many as 50 for the total visits.~
~Thanks ever so much for getting me into this. You know she never would have been so keen on knowing if you hadn't started.~
Hermione just huffed at him and turned her full attention back to the interrogation.
Finally, after almost 20 minutes and for the others what was about 15 questions, Harry spoke up rather sheepishly, taking a deep breath. "284 visits to the infirmary and 127, give or take a few, of those were with at least one night spent here." Seeing her wide eyes and the impending explosion, Harry continued quickly, trying to explain and babbling at practically light speed. "I don't know if anyone told you, but there was a war where we were the past for years, so most of the overnight visits were in the last 4 years – I practically lived in the infirmary." His voice faded on the last word as he noticed his speech had done little, and all three were staring at him.
"Wow Shadow! That's more than I would have ever guessed. Impressive, even for you." Ron said with false bravado, as the first one to break out of their shock.
Privately he sent Harry a message with more than little fear directed towards Madam Pomfrey, who was now spluttering over Ron, staring wide-eyed at Harry.
~Mate, I think you should have lied. She looks like she's going to have a heart attack and I don't think we'll ever get you out of here after that. Even being best mates with you I only racked up 62 visits with 39 being overnighters. All of the overnighters were from the war too.~
~For once I agree. Goodness gracious Harry even I never thought it would be that many. I have 76 visits with 51 overnights, what with being petrified in second year and the aftermath and all, but that's nowhere near close. And this is not our Madam Pomfey we're dealing with either who has had 8 years to get used to your accident-proneness. She's had all of one day, and is as bad as Poppy was in the beginning. I think maybe you should put on the puppy face and hope to survive the next ten minutes.~
~Yeah mate, and avoid the question as to how long your longest stay was and with all of them what's about average. She just about fainted when 'Mione said 2 months because she was petrified, followed by a wonderful rant. If after what you just said she hears that your average stay was about half a week or more and with 3 months being your longest stay I think you'll be put in a glass bubble for life if she has her way.~
~Yeah~ said Harry dejectedly ~I agree, but I think I'd rather get some of the hysterics over with now than deal with he when she finds out I'm lying. She's sure to do that spell that gives a read out of all past injuries, and she's have noticed that I'll have a lot more past injuries than I should have.~
~True. Well, good luck Shadow. At least the heat is off of us, and you can always disapparate and then deal with her later if it gets too much...course then you'll have to explain that too.~ Ron replied as if he was considering the idea himself. What they had affectionately dubbed 'Poppy Purgatory' several years ago was not exactly a pleasant experience, no matter how physically well one left afterwards.
Harry looked as if he was trying to dissolve into the floor as Poppy (I'm tired of writing Madam Pomfrey) stalked over to the foot of his bed and slammed her clipboard down onto the small table that adorned the floor tiles there.
"What. On. EARTH. Have. You. Been DOING. With yourself child!" She screeched, heaving a breath in between each punctuated word. "What was I doing with you to let you get away with it!"
~Oh my. Harry, you'd better do something quick. She's too riled up for me to reach her with a projection.~ Hermione babbled at him, rather flustered from the strong emotions she couldn't block out, continuing to mutter in the back of their minds about natural empath inhibitors. ~Why, on Smoldywart's dead corpse, of all the people in the world do the two people who can break through my shields and completely block me have to be Poppy and Sirius. The two people in all of the order, outside of Mrs. Weasley, that have the worst tempers and often don't listen to reason. In all the Death Eaters' cursed names and graves, why them! Oh of course Albus can calm them since he simply uses Legilmency and mind suggestions, but noooooo, I can't do it because they freakin' BLOCK EMPATHIC PROJECTIONS!~
As Hermione continued her mental rant, Poppy hadn't halted her verbal assault on the room, now screaming towards the right curtain about 'irresponsible headmasters,' 'invincibility complexes,''rash, irresponsible youths,' and 'accident-prone Potter offsrping' while pacing back and forth in the small section of the hospital wing. In other words, the usual.
Harry, quickly formed an imperfect, but hopefully effective plan. He figured if he calmed down Poppy, Hermione would calm down with her since most of Hermione's problem was she couldn't block out Poppy's emotions almost at all, even with Ron helping as he was. He decided to try an even cheaper and more underhanded of an old classic ploy.
Putting on his best 'sad puppy dog face' per Hermione's original suggestion he practically whimpered aloud, "I'm sorry Madam Pomfrey, I really am. I tried to stay out of trouble truly I did. I didn't ask for my parents to be murdered when I was a baby. Voldemort's been after me for as long as I can remember. I was just trying to stay alive, and its all thanks to you're wonderful care that I'm here today. Thank you so much for everything from before, even if it wasn't really you. You're the best mediwitch I know. I promise I'll be a good patient and do everything you tell me. Please don't be mad at me." He ended with his best begging, innocent child voice and expression.
He had morphed himself just the slightest so he looked younger and more helpless, figuring he had to exercise his powers anyways to break through any remaining trace residue in his magical channels so it wouldn't build up and need Ron's attentions, so he might as well use his metamorphmagus powers to an advantage, and in her current state, Poppy probably wouldn't notice.
His first words had caught her attention, especially the Voldemort, and his Dobby-like impression at the end must have really impressed her, because she showed an almost immediate about-faced in attitude that if she hadn't been so terrifying before and the three of them weren't in such control of their emotions would have had them rolling around on the floor in laughter.
"Oh you poor thing brave thing. I can't believe you say his name! What all of you have had to go through. Of course I'm not mad at you, just very shocked and slightly appalled at how many injuries you must have." She paused and gave him a rueful look. "Of course knowing your family, I should have expected something of the sort. Well we might as well get all of this over with so let me go get a... lot more parchment to put your records on and a slight calming draught for myself and then we'll continue your examinations. And please, call me Poppy." With a fond smile at him she turned around and left the 'room.'
As soon as she left, Harry morphed back into his older self once more, and turned to smile at the now quiet and calm Hermione.
~Feeling better now?~
~Yes, thank you Harry. I must say I'm impressed. That has got to be the fastest you have ever calmed her down, although you always did have a talent for that.~
~Must be the long-term exposure~ Harry replied wryly.
~Brilliant plan mate. Couldn't have done better myself. What's she gonna do when you duck out of here first chance you get though?~ (ron)
~She'll get over it. She always does, and I always remain her favorite patient.~ Said Harry unconcernedly. He'd save the concern for when he was actually facing that Poppy. After all, Poppy was apparently something that didn't change much no matter what dimension you were in.
***********
Wow, 6000 more words! There's actually about another 12 pages to this chapter, but I figured it's too long already and that you'd want a new chapter now. I couldn't check all of it so I cut this one off here and will get the next out probably tomorrow.
For the number of Harry's hospital visits: I know it seems extreme, but I averaged about 30-35 per year for 8 years overall. I myself have probably seen to a doctor or physical therapist for about 40-45 separate visits this year, and if you're in Hagrid's classes and intensive DADA w/ quidditch and/or a war, every year should at least come close 2 that.
Plz. review but remember, be gentle – I can use all the help I can get, but you don't have 2 read if you don't like and flames aren't fun (not that any of my wonderful reviewers have sent me any).
Again squeaks and lemon drops to all and I'll add in a few canary creams cuz I'm in a good mood having finished the I.B.
'Quick' recap of special powers and info for anyone confused:
All are animagi – Hermione is some sort of cat
Hermione is an empath, awakened due to spending a short period with her soul essentially balanced between Harry and Ron's bodies on their bond after an encounter with a Dementor.
Harry is a metamorphmagus (the whole hair growing thing and all makes it work)
Ron's powers are hard to describe, but he essentially has the ability to act like a magic-doctor, balancing power levels, checking signatures, channeling or helping channel/block Harry and Hermione's powers etc. He can also block Harry's scar and the connection with Voldemort. That how he originally got his nickname, Morpheus, by guarding Harry's dreams.
Their nicknames: Harry is Shadow
Hermione is Artemis - bast and Sekhmet are half-cat goddesses in Egyptian mythology, each the opposite of each other. While Bast is the maiden, Sekhmet is the crone. Bast is the protector while Sekhmet is the creator, destroyer, and wisdom. All fit Hermione, but they can't combine. Artemis is greek equivalent is sometimes represented as half-cat as well. She is the maiden goddess, but also has lesser worshiped characteristics like wisdom and psychic powers. She is the huntress and protector – there are direct parallels to harry's animagi form (which you don't know). When Ron and Harry get mad at her or frustrated they tease her by calling her either bast or Sekhmet, knowing she knows what they're implying, either old and stuck up or young and ditzy.
Ron is Morpheus: originally for his ability to enter dreams and stop Harry's from Voldemort.
