Introduction
Shit... Here we go about silicon heaven. Is there really a place where the good machines experiences endless recharge and never get slapped on the side in futile attempts for speed? The answer is maybe. Silicon is allowing me to tell you all of this. But soon enough silicon will fail me because of its inevitable tendencies to none other then go to hell. The real question is if there is a silicon hell. Is there really a place where all the out of order vibrators burn for eternity? The answer is yes. Sure enough hell is real without a doubt. Why is it that we associate endless gun crimes with toasters? Because of course the power of Christ compels humans and the power of Edison compels every calculator on the face of the earth and every other planet where calculators serve as methods of achieving unjust A's on tests. Exorcism at the lowest level is none other then waiting in the return line at your local Best Buy. And then the concept of death... It is only when the off switch is off and never to be turned on again. This is when E.T. makes a communication device to talk to his friends out of an umbrella. This is when silicon goes to hell. The spelling machine in the movie had somehow bypassed its function to educate little kids (or retarded adults) about reading and ended up in the Hollywood walk of fame. Hell my friend is just around the corner. It was when Steven Spielberg spilled his decaf while reading a "geek magazine" that the spelling device failed to function forever. It found itself coiled to a three year old in a shopping center. The village of the damned and my big fat silicon hell adventure all in one day must have overwhelmed the poor little thing (which we'll call Albert) and soon enough it (from now on it's a he) was bowling with Michael Dell. Kill the makers! Damn Edison! These blasphemous phrases were dotted on the walls of Silicon hell. Silicon hell is real, as real as Silicon heaven hopefully. The truth is only one person knows what it feels like to be in Silicon hell and lived to tell the tale. Tell me, have any of you ever seen the Wizard of Oz?
