So this chapter is probably rated PG-13...for light slash... finally right?
D Enjoy!
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The sun was barely in the sky as Yoh set off on his run. This afternoon, Anna had insisted her fiancee train the rest of the day with weights. Amidamaru had watched Yoh head down the street, but quickly bounded upward to escape Anna's beaded chains. She glared after him, but went back inside without much of a huff.
As the samurai rose up to the roof, he stopped when he found Remaen's darkly clad form already there. Bright blue eyes glanced up from under his hat and he smiled at the fellow ghost. "Sorry...would you like your spot back?"
Images of last night sprung to Amidamaru's mind, bringing a light flush to his cheeks. "N-no, the roof is plenty big enough." He drifted over to relax beside the sniper, who was eyeing him.
"You saw us last night, didn't you?"
Amidamaru jolted slightly, the blush spreading further and darkening. He couldn't meet Remaen's eyes, but eventually he made himself look up and nod. Remaen chuckled softly, stretching his form to hang one leg over the edge. "Why are you so embarrassed...we were the ones caught."
Amidamaru blinked and looked over at him. He had a point. "I suppose it's just odd." He felt another twinge of jealousy, knowing that Remaen was able to experience from Nanshou what he wanted with Yoh. He shook his head, lowering his eyes. He pretending he hadn't replaced the image of the two with the forms of himself and the shaman.
Remaen smiled at him, tipping the brim of his hat back. "You have feelings for Yoh, don't you?" Again he made the samurai jolt up and look at him with surprise. "I'm right, aren't I?" He smiled at him again when Amidamaru couldn't argue it.
Defeated, Amidamaru hung his head again. "It's becoming almost unbearable...I wish I could figure it out before I tried to explain anything to him. At times I understand everything, but others, I...I'm not sure what to do." His shoulders trembled. "I want to be that to him, but...there's Anna-san...and it would be too complicated."
"If you care for him, why does it have to become complicated." The assassin reassured. "A connection like that between and shaman and his ghost can increase the power and unity they possess together by the hundred- fold. I'm sure Yoh looks at you as more than a friend...you're his spirit."
"But...we're both male...I'm so much older then him...and..." He struggled to find his words. Hearing his own arguments out loud sunk his hopes even deeper. His feelings of frustration were rising within him. "I can't force this on him."
"Love shouldn't have limits." Remaen whispered. "Lust and cravings perhaps, but love should not. Look Amidamaru..." He waited until the spirit had looked up. "I know how you feel...Nanshou and I went through this as well. It's no sin to at least talk with him about it...who knows, he might feel the same way." He was finally able to bring a look of optimism to Amidamaru's eyes. "It's not so out of the question...he surely feels as close to you as you do to him."
With a sigh, Amidamaru leaned back and closed his eyes. "I wouldn't know how to say it." He dreaded the thought of speaking the wrong words, pushing his shaman away, and being alone again. He couldn't imagine being without Yoh. The realization that he could drive him away pulled at him so much it hurt.
"Just tell him what you feel...the way you think it should be said. He'll understand." Remaen looked down, watching as Nanshou headed into the yard to meditate under the shade of the trees. He smiled softly and patted the samurai on the arm. "Things will work out."
Amidamaru closed his eyes after Remaen had left the roof. Now he was worried and anxious. He knew he would feel relieved if he talked to Yoh, but also feared it. With a soft huff, he began to formulate a plan of action for later in the day.
--
Only 5 km to go, only 5, Yoh thought in the back of his head before he focused on breathing. He still had work to do after the run, but it was only weights. The weight training was never that bad... he liked it much more then having to run half way around the city.
Yoh barely felt pain anymore, for he knew that any sore feeling he had at the end of the day would be grazed away by his spirit's gentle touch. He smiled as he recalled how warm it made him feel when Amidamaru slid his fingers over him, how secure he felt when the ghost held him.
As of late he had been finding reasons to touch his spirit and be close to him. He adored feeling calm and relaxed, and Amidamaru made him feel just that. Yoh reminded himself every day how lucky he was to have such a caring guardian as his main spirit.
Yoh blinked at his monitor beeped and he slowed his pace. Leaning against a fence to catch his breath, Yoh ran his hands through his hair. He glanced at his watch and, lazily, headed back home. He figured he could weight train for a few hours before Anna would demand dinner. He would be able to talk to Amidamaru over that time as well. The notion made him walk a bit faster, skipping oddly as he tried to remove the weights without stopping.
---
The night was a warm one. Yoh found it too warm to sleep, so sat at his opened window to gaze at the stars. The twinkling spots of light, like glistening thread sewn through black satin, always calmed his nerves even further past relaxation. He glanced at his clock. 10:30 already? He wondered what was keeping Amidamaru as he returned to watching the sky.
Finally the sound of the door sliding sifted through the air, which made Yoh turn around quickly. He smiled at the samurai, who was surprised to find Yoh still awake. "Yoh-dono, you should be asleep." He drifted over to where Yoh was sitting, taking his place beside him.
"The stars are bright tonight." Yoh whispered with wonder. He looked over at Amidamaru with a smile. The samurai returned it uneasily. All the careful planning he had run through his head was vaporizing with astonishing speed.
"I...I need to speak with you a-about something..." He gulped, one hand fidgeting with the edge of his robe. Suddenly, everything he had planned to say was gone. He had no practice in anything like this, and he realized he was going to have to wing it. He tried to find his words as Yoh moved closer.
Amidamaru was taken back as Yoh curled his arms around him, resting his chin on the samurai's shoulder. "What's wrong...?" He was deeply concerned at how uneasy Amidamaru appeared.
Deep cobalt eyes turned to looked away from a moment. Yoh was so close, he craved to touch him like he could when the shaman was asleep. "Yoh- dono...I..." He knew he was unable to find the words to explain what he was feeling. He looked back into Yoh's deep eyes, and leaned forward.
Yoh's expression took one of surprise when Amidamaru's thumb brushed his cheekbone, and the pale lips met his own. The spirit poured out all his feelings into the single action instead of trying to find the many words to illustrate it. Kissing Yoh was exactly like he imagined it would be, gentle and loving, but still unsure. Yoh's lips hesitated, yet didn't pull away.
Yoh was too taken back to react sooner. He never thought Amidamaru had these feelings, but he felt his soul swell with happiness nevertheless. He finally leaned into the samurai, his arms snaking around his neck again. Yoh whimpered very softly as the emotions he felt for his spirit exploded, filling him with such intense feelings of affection.
Amidamaru pulled away only to gaze into Yoh's eyes, still cupping the side of his face. "I'm sorry Yoh-dono...I wish I could put what I'm feeling into words." He tired to think for a moment, eyes lowering. "I guess the easiest way to explain it is...that I want to be closer to you." He managed a confused smile. "I care for you deeply Yoh."
Yoh felt perplexed, complete and warm all at the same time. He smiled up at him and planted another soft kiss on ashen lips. "I understand Amidamaru..." He suddenly realized the samurai had left off the usual 'dono' completion of his name. It was strange hearing just his title on the lips of the samurai, but it felt good. Amidamaru had treated him not as a lord or someone he served...but as an equal...a partner for which he treasured.
When he thought about it, this was everything he wanted. Someone who made him happy, relaxed, and comfortable. Amidamaru indeed made him feel that, and to know how deeply the spirit felt for him was...it was heaven. He pressed closer, one hand gliding down his chest. The ghost's name was the only thing that was capable of passing across Yoh's lips for a good number of moments. "I want to be yours." It's what he wanted, why not say it like it was?
Amidamaru pulled back with surprise. "Really?" To be honest, he wasn't expecting a reaction like this at all. Then his heart sunk again. "What about Anna-san?"
Yoh looked away, curling into the samurai's chest. "Although I somehow appreciate everything she's doing for me, I don't think I could ever love her..." He sighed. "I don't think it will go over well when I tell her." Yoh slid up Amidamaru's chest again, cuddling close to him, a timid grin on his face. "I should go to sleep..."
Amidamaru gave a soft laugh of agreement and lifted Yoh in his arms, taking him over to his cot. He lay down, Yoh taking his regular place on his chest. The two spent a good amount of time just looking into each other's eyes, Amidamaru's hand running down his face and through his hair. "You truly are beautiful Yoh-dono..."
Yoh blushed, looking away as an odd surge of shyness hit him. "Thank you." He crawled up Amidamaru's form, feeling the aura pulsing under his splayed hands. "No words exists to describe how ravishing you are." The spirit obvious caught Yoh's pathetic attempt at a Shakespearean accent, for he rolled his eyes and sweatdropped. "What?! I was serious." Yoh giggled. But it was true. Even before the feelings wove themselves, there would be times Yoh would just glance at him and marvel at how attractive he looked. The samurai was so handsome that sometimes it hurt.
Amidamaru sighed again, gently pulling Yoh down to steal another kiss. This time, the shaman was prepared for it, and returned it with as much tenderness as he could put forward. He was rewarded when Amidamaru's hand slid down the back of his neck and rested between his shoulder blades. With a gentle push down, Yoh found himself pressed up against Amidamaru's chest. He pulled away to grab a quick breath.
The spirit stole his chance to trail soft kisses across Yoh's ear, then down the line of his jaw. To be honest, he had no idea what he was doing, but it felt right, and Yoh's soft sighs of pleasure helped guide him in the right direction. "Is this all right?" He had to be sure.
Yoh nodded, his own hands traversing over the hills and valleys of Amidamaru's chest. He whimpered very softly as the ghost's lips stroked a sensitive spot on his neck, mumbling incoherently when they drifted down to his shoulder.
Even though he didn't have a true form, Amidamaru could feel warmth and pleasure spreading everywhere across him. Still, it wasn't the same. He was dead and Yoh was still very much alive. How close could the two become with Amidamaru unable to double-plane the way the shaman could. He kissed up Yoh's neck again, relishing in the quiet moans that drifted to his ears.
Oh how he longed to feel the boy on his plane... he knew that would only happen if Yoh were to die, and that was something he was not prepared to sacrificed for his own happiness. "Yoh-dono, you must wake up earily tomorrow. I would hate to be the cause of you oversleeping and missing your training." Yoh groaned again and collapsed on him.
"Too sore to sleep."
Amidamaru's deep but soft laugh made Yoh smile against the spirit's shoulder. He moaned when he felt those gentle hands on his back. They always lured him to sleep within seconds, and he knew he wouldn't be able to fight them for long. Lifting his gaze slightly, he met Amidamaru's lips one final time for the night, before burrowing against his chest. "You'll be here tomorrow...right...?"
Amidamaru glanced down at him, an eyebrow quirked. "Of course...what would make you think otherwise."
Yoh yawned, kissing his samurai's neck peacefully. "Just worried this is a dream...a long...dreadfully happy dream." His words became slurred and quiet. "If it is, don't wake me up."
The spirit kissed Yoh's forehead loving, brushing some dark hair from his face. "If that is the case, let us dream together..." He smiled and closed his eyes, slipping away into his relaxed state of mind. Even with his thoughts clear, images of how perfect this night was refused to fade.
For once, the samurai didn't mind.
---
Yesh, so feelings exposed... ponder I don't know when I can finish the last 2 chapters, but it will be when I can...
--
The sun was barely in the sky as Yoh set off on his run. This afternoon, Anna had insisted her fiancee train the rest of the day with weights. Amidamaru had watched Yoh head down the street, but quickly bounded upward to escape Anna's beaded chains. She glared after him, but went back inside without much of a huff.
As the samurai rose up to the roof, he stopped when he found Remaen's darkly clad form already there. Bright blue eyes glanced up from under his hat and he smiled at the fellow ghost. "Sorry...would you like your spot back?"
Images of last night sprung to Amidamaru's mind, bringing a light flush to his cheeks. "N-no, the roof is plenty big enough." He drifted over to relax beside the sniper, who was eyeing him.
"You saw us last night, didn't you?"
Amidamaru jolted slightly, the blush spreading further and darkening. He couldn't meet Remaen's eyes, but eventually he made himself look up and nod. Remaen chuckled softly, stretching his form to hang one leg over the edge. "Why are you so embarrassed...we were the ones caught."
Amidamaru blinked and looked over at him. He had a point. "I suppose it's just odd." He felt another twinge of jealousy, knowing that Remaen was able to experience from Nanshou what he wanted with Yoh. He shook his head, lowering his eyes. He pretending he hadn't replaced the image of the two with the forms of himself and the shaman.
Remaen smiled at him, tipping the brim of his hat back. "You have feelings for Yoh, don't you?" Again he made the samurai jolt up and look at him with surprise. "I'm right, aren't I?" He smiled at him again when Amidamaru couldn't argue it.
Defeated, Amidamaru hung his head again. "It's becoming almost unbearable...I wish I could figure it out before I tried to explain anything to him. At times I understand everything, but others, I...I'm not sure what to do." His shoulders trembled. "I want to be that to him, but...there's Anna-san...and it would be too complicated."
"If you care for him, why does it have to become complicated." The assassin reassured. "A connection like that between and shaman and his ghost can increase the power and unity they possess together by the hundred- fold. I'm sure Yoh looks at you as more than a friend...you're his spirit."
"But...we're both male...I'm so much older then him...and..." He struggled to find his words. Hearing his own arguments out loud sunk his hopes even deeper. His feelings of frustration were rising within him. "I can't force this on him."
"Love shouldn't have limits." Remaen whispered. "Lust and cravings perhaps, but love should not. Look Amidamaru..." He waited until the spirit had looked up. "I know how you feel...Nanshou and I went through this as well. It's no sin to at least talk with him about it...who knows, he might feel the same way." He was finally able to bring a look of optimism to Amidamaru's eyes. "It's not so out of the question...he surely feels as close to you as you do to him."
With a sigh, Amidamaru leaned back and closed his eyes. "I wouldn't know how to say it." He dreaded the thought of speaking the wrong words, pushing his shaman away, and being alone again. He couldn't imagine being without Yoh. The realization that he could drive him away pulled at him so much it hurt.
"Just tell him what you feel...the way you think it should be said. He'll understand." Remaen looked down, watching as Nanshou headed into the yard to meditate under the shade of the trees. He smiled softly and patted the samurai on the arm. "Things will work out."
Amidamaru closed his eyes after Remaen had left the roof. Now he was worried and anxious. He knew he would feel relieved if he talked to Yoh, but also feared it. With a soft huff, he began to formulate a plan of action for later in the day.
--
Only 5 km to go, only 5, Yoh thought in the back of his head before he focused on breathing. He still had work to do after the run, but it was only weights. The weight training was never that bad... he liked it much more then having to run half way around the city.
Yoh barely felt pain anymore, for he knew that any sore feeling he had at the end of the day would be grazed away by his spirit's gentle touch. He smiled as he recalled how warm it made him feel when Amidamaru slid his fingers over him, how secure he felt when the ghost held him.
As of late he had been finding reasons to touch his spirit and be close to him. He adored feeling calm and relaxed, and Amidamaru made him feel just that. Yoh reminded himself every day how lucky he was to have such a caring guardian as his main spirit.
Yoh blinked at his monitor beeped and he slowed his pace. Leaning against a fence to catch his breath, Yoh ran his hands through his hair. He glanced at his watch and, lazily, headed back home. He figured he could weight train for a few hours before Anna would demand dinner. He would be able to talk to Amidamaru over that time as well. The notion made him walk a bit faster, skipping oddly as he tried to remove the weights without stopping.
---
The night was a warm one. Yoh found it too warm to sleep, so sat at his opened window to gaze at the stars. The twinkling spots of light, like glistening thread sewn through black satin, always calmed his nerves even further past relaxation. He glanced at his clock. 10:30 already? He wondered what was keeping Amidamaru as he returned to watching the sky.
Finally the sound of the door sliding sifted through the air, which made Yoh turn around quickly. He smiled at the samurai, who was surprised to find Yoh still awake. "Yoh-dono, you should be asleep." He drifted over to where Yoh was sitting, taking his place beside him.
"The stars are bright tonight." Yoh whispered with wonder. He looked over at Amidamaru with a smile. The samurai returned it uneasily. All the careful planning he had run through his head was vaporizing with astonishing speed.
"I...I need to speak with you a-about something..." He gulped, one hand fidgeting with the edge of his robe. Suddenly, everything he had planned to say was gone. He had no practice in anything like this, and he realized he was going to have to wing it. He tried to find his words as Yoh moved closer.
Amidamaru was taken back as Yoh curled his arms around him, resting his chin on the samurai's shoulder. "What's wrong...?" He was deeply concerned at how uneasy Amidamaru appeared.
Deep cobalt eyes turned to looked away from a moment. Yoh was so close, he craved to touch him like he could when the shaman was asleep. "Yoh- dono...I..." He knew he was unable to find the words to explain what he was feeling. He looked back into Yoh's deep eyes, and leaned forward.
Yoh's expression took one of surprise when Amidamaru's thumb brushed his cheekbone, and the pale lips met his own. The spirit poured out all his feelings into the single action instead of trying to find the many words to illustrate it. Kissing Yoh was exactly like he imagined it would be, gentle and loving, but still unsure. Yoh's lips hesitated, yet didn't pull away.
Yoh was too taken back to react sooner. He never thought Amidamaru had these feelings, but he felt his soul swell with happiness nevertheless. He finally leaned into the samurai, his arms snaking around his neck again. Yoh whimpered very softly as the emotions he felt for his spirit exploded, filling him with such intense feelings of affection.
Amidamaru pulled away only to gaze into Yoh's eyes, still cupping the side of his face. "I'm sorry Yoh-dono...I wish I could put what I'm feeling into words." He tired to think for a moment, eyes lowering. "I guess the easiest way to explain it is...that I want to be closer to you." He managed a confused smile. "I care for you deeply Yoh."
Yoh felt perplexed, complete and warm all at the same time. He smiled up at him and planted another soft kiss on ashen lips. "I understand Amidamaru..." He suddenly realized the samurai had left off the usual 'dono' completion of his name. It was strange hearing just his title on the lips of the samurai, but it felt good. Amidamaru had treated him not as a lord or someone he served...but as an equal...a partner for which he treasured.
When he thought about it, this was everything he wanted. Someone who made him happy, relaxed, and comfortable. Amidamaru indeed made him feel that, and to know how deeply the spirit felt for him was...it was heaven. He pressed closer, one hand gliding down his chest. The ghost's name was the only thing that was capable of passing across Yoh's lips for a good number of moments. "I want to be yours." It's what he wanted, why not say it like it was?
Amidamaru pulled back with surprise. "Really?" To be honest, he wasn't expecting a reaction like this at all. Then his heart sunk again. "What about Anna-san?"
Yoh looked away, curling into the samurai's chest. "Although I somehow appreciate everything she's doing for me, I don't think I could ever love her..." He sighed. "I don't think it will go over well when I tell her." Yoh slid up Amidamaru's chest again, cuddling close to him, a timid grin on his face. "I should go to sleep..."
Amidamaru gave a soft laugh of agreement and lifted Yoh in his arms, taking him over to his cot. He lay down, Yoh taking his regular place on his chest. The two spent a good amount of time just looking into each other's eyes, Amidamaru's hand running down his face and through his hair. "You truly are beautiful Yoh-dono..."
Yoh blushed, looking away as an odd surge of shyness hit him. "Thank you." He crawled up Amidamaru's form, feeling the aura pulsing under his splayed hands. "No words exists to describe how ravishing you are." The spirit obvious caught Yoh's pathetic attempt at a Shakespearean accent, for he rolled his eyes and sweatdropped. "What?! I was serious." Yoh giggled. But it was true. Even before the feelings wove themselves, there would be times Yoh would just glance at him and marvel at how attractive he looked. The samurai was so handsome that sometimes it hurt.
Amidamaru sighed again, gently pulling Yoh down to steal another kiss. This time, the shaman was prepared for it, and returned it with as much tenderness as he could put forward. He was rewarded when Amidamaru's hand slid down the back of his neck and rested between his shoulder blades. With a gentle push down, Yoh found himself pressed up against Amidamaru's chest. He pulled away to grab a quick breath.
The spirit stole his chance to trail soft kisses across Yoh's ear, then down the line of his jaw. To be honest, he had no idea what he was doing, but it felt right, and Yoh's soft sighs of pleasure helped guide him in the right direction. "Is this all right?" He had to be sure.
Yoh nodded, his own hands traversing over the hills and valleys of Amidamaru's chest. He whimpered very softly as the ghost's lips stroked a sensitive spot on his neck, mumbling incoherently when they drifted down to his shoulder.
Even though he didn't have a true form, Amidamaru could feel warmth and pleasure spreading everywhere across him. Still, it wasn't the same. He was dead and Yoh was still very much alive. How close could the two become with Amidamaru unable to double-plane the way the shaman could. He kissed up Yoh's neck again, relishing in the quiet moans that drifted to his ears.
Oh how he longed to feel the boy on his plane... he knew that would only happen if Yoh were to die, and that was something he was not prepared to sacrificed for his own happiness. "Yoh-dono, you must wake up earily tomorrow. I would hate to be the cause of you oversleeping and missing your training." Yoh groaned again and collapsed on him.
"Too sore to sleep."
Amidamaru's deep but soft laugh made Yoh smile against the spirit's shoulder. He moaned when he felt those gentle hands on his back. They always lured him to sleep within seconds, and he knew he wouldn't be able to fight them for long. Lifting his gaze slightly, he met Amidamaru's lips one final time for the night, before burrowing against his chest. "You'll be here tomorrow...right...?"
Amidamaru glanced down at him, an eyebrow quirked. "Of course...what would make you think otherwise."
Yoh yawned, kissing his samurai's neck peacefully. "Just worried this is a dream...a long...dreadfully happy dream." His words became slurred and quiet. "If it is, don't wake me up."
The spirit kissed Yoh's forehead loving, brushing some dark hair from his face. "If that is the case, let us dream together..." He smiled and closed his eyes, slipping away into his relaxed state of mind. Even with his thoughts clear, images of how perfect this night was refused to fade.
For once, the samurai didn't mind.
---
Yesh, so feelings exposed... ponder I don't know when I can finish the last 2 chapters, but it will be when I can...
