Treasures of Ultimecia's Castle

What!? What's that!? Wait... Ultimecia's Castle has somehow arrived in the present!? What's going on?

"Look! Ultimecia's Castle is over there!" Selphie yells excitedly as she spots UItimecia's Castle standing near Edea's House.

"This can't be happening... time compression been stopped." Quistis says while examining the castle in the distance.

Suddenly, a man and some soldiers enter the Garden. One is a man in a tuxedo and the soldiers are dressed in army uniforms. They are holding strange rifles.

"Galbadians!?" Zell shouts as the man introduces himself.

"No.. the name's Bond. James Bond." he says. The soldiers just stand there, waiting for their commands.

After everyone's introduced, Bond explains the mission. They are going to enter Ultimecia's Castle and retrieve every last treasure inside.

"Yeah, we'll do it. We know that castle well." Irvine said as he exchanged his Exeter for an AIMS-20.

"Whoo hoo!! I was gettin' bored from nothing to do!!" Selphie yelled.

Now, everyone's ready as they leave the Garden and march towards Ultimecia's Castle. There are guards at the gate.

"Leave this place!" a guard yells as Bond picks him off with his Golden P2K.

"You'll need new weapons in here. Go into that storeroom and pick some up." Bond explains, indicating a small house near the castle.

Everyone selects their new weapons. Squall gets a gunblade called "Soul Calibur", Zell gets some new gloves called "Soul Edge Complete", Quistis gets one of Ivy's swords called "Kaleidoscope", Rinoa gets a Delta Repeater Crossbow, Selphie gets some nunchaku called "Fuzoroi", and Irvine collects some extra grenade ammo for the AIMS-20.

"Now! Now's our chance!" Bond orders as his army bursts through the front door. Squall's party follows afterwards.

"Stop! Don't kill me! I am Auric Goldfinger! Please don't kill me!" Goldfinger gives the party 1500000 Gil and escapes. The party continues.

"Stop! You cannot pass! I am Baron Samedi! Prepare to die!" Samedi kills a soldier, and then Bond picks him off. "I shall return!" he threatens as he disappears.

"You fools! You cannot stop Operation NightFire! Oh.. you already did... " Drake says as he escapes. Irvine shoots a grenade and kills Drake.

They enter a large room with a piano. Omega Weapon is still there. It is holding an AT600 Scorpion.

"Who dares mess with me now!?" Omega says while waving his Scorpion around.

"Brick wall, waterfall. Omega thinks he's got it all but he don't, and I do, so Boom with that attitude. Peace, punch Captain Crunch. I've got something you can't touch. Bang- Bang choo-choo train. Wind me up I do my thing. Reeses Pieces, 7 Up. You mess with me, I'll mess you up." Selphie taunts Omega Weapon.

"Silence! Die, bastards!" Omega yells as it raises its Scorpion. Just as it's about to fire, Irvine fires a quick grenade into the Scorpion. This causes the rocket launcher to backfire and kill Omega Weapon.

"It's a goal!" Irvine shouts as Omega Weapon crumbles to dust.

"Luckily the Scorpion missile fires slowly." Bond says as the party advances through the castle. "Oh crap! It's a giant Pikachu!" Selphie yells as a giant Pikachu stomps toward the party.

"Wahhhh!! It's gonna kill me!" Rinoa cries as the Pikachu gets closer.

Zell jumps up and starts hitting the Pikachu. Squall does Lion Heart. Rinoa runs around and tries to hide. Quistis tries Degenerator, but fails. Irvine shoots at the Pikachu, but it hardly scratches it. Squall finishes Lion Heart and surprisingly the Pikachu survived. Rinoa comes to her senses and shoots the damn Pikachu. She uses all her bolts, but they all seem to make the Pikachu more aggressive. Just then, a shadowy figure appears in the doorway. The figure stomps on Pikachu and shoves some grenades down its fat throat. It finishes the job by shoving a Frinesi Auto 12 Shotgun up Pikachu's fat a$$ and firing. The blast sends Pikachu flying out of the castle and into the Shinra Building where THEY can deal with the frickin' thing! Who is this shady warrior?

"...it's gone. Finally, it's gone. Oh? Yes, of course. I am Alec Trevelyan.Greetings, Bond." the shady man says.

Bond is surprised. "I thought I killed you. Well, are you on our side?" Bond asks.

"Yes, of course. I have seen many things in this castle. Many dark things. We must destroy this place." Trevelyan explains.

"Destroy!? You mean blow it to smithereens with a rocket launcher!?" Selphie asks excitedly.

"Yes, that could work. But I mean, we should place satchel charges on specially marked places that I marked. Those places are 'weak spots'. Doing this will destroy the castle." Trevelyan explains.

The party splits up and searches for the weak spots. Squall finds one near the front door. He places a bomb there for 5 seconds. It knocks out the wall. Zell finds a spot near the library. He sets a bomb for 10 seconds and escapes. It knocks out two walls. Rinoa sets a bomb in the storage room for 5 seconds. It takes out the room. Selphie, Quistis, and Irvine take out the art gallery with satchel charges and frag grenades. Bond takes care of the rest by planting remote mines in the master room, wine cellar, and grand hall. They escape outside. Bond detonates the mines and takes the castle out.

"There's still some left! I'll take care of it!" Selphie exclaims as she loads a missile into the AT600 Scorpion. She fires and blasts the remaining castle walls to smithereens! "At last! My dream come true! I blew it to smithereens with a rocket launcher! Whoo hoo!!"

"Well, our job is done. We shall meet again." Bond says. "And remember: James Bond Will Return."

"Okay! Thanks!" Selphie exlaims as Bond, Trevelyan, and the army take their leave.

The party goes back to Balamb Garden to relax. As for the treasures... they got to keep the new weapons. and remember:

James Bond, Squall Leonhart, Zell Dincht, Quistis Trepe, Selphie Tilmitt, Irvine Kinneas, and Rinoa Heartilly Will Return.