// Tuesdays with Daniel, can they be any worse than Mondays? Find out below.
// See previous chapter for details
// Authors Note: Darnit, forgot to go legal in Chapter one again! Okay, for the kabillionth time, I don't own this stuff, just the
// story. Which is unfortunate, because if I DID own them, I'd use the money to establish a channel on cable showing nothing but
// X-Files, Babylon 5, and Stargate all day long. Heaven on the TV, yum!
Tuesday
6:45 Wake up to familiar sound. As have heard that sound a billion and one times in my life, am readily able to place it: staff weapon discharge. Teal'c, there are easier ways to start a fire, y'know.
6:46 Another staff weapon blast, not so close this time, meaning more than one staff weapon, meaning not just Teal'c, meaning Jaffa, meaning bad. Sit up as adrenaline rushes into system. Oooohoo, that's feels weird; what a rush. Speaking of which, I need coffee.
6:47 Decide coffee can wait after EXTREMELY close staff weapon blast singes hair, cheek, and burns off right side of glasses as I try to put them on. Reach for zat and spray electric death into bushes Teal'c is shooting at. I really liked those glasses too!
6:48 Staff weapon blast explodes four inches from crotch. Sprayed with dirt and burned sleeping bag. Decide now would be a good time to move it. Commence panicky-'I'm-not-trained-for-combat'-archaeologists-running-into-temple-for-cover-while-teammates-blast-bad-Jaffa-into-oblivion maneuver.
6:49 Trip over fallen section of ruins just as staff weapon flies into where my head just was. I will never complain about being clumsy again. On the down side, hit head hard, hello blackness.
6:56 Come to with Teal'c standing over me. Not best image in the world to wake up to: big Jaffa warrior with staff weapon standing over you. Still, glad it's our good Jaffa, which means bad Jaffa gone.
6:57 Thank you Teal'c, but I do not require assistance with my injury. Human beings are perfectly capable of being a part of an SG team after repeated head injuries. Just look at Jack.
6:58 Jack thinks we should head out. I'm not going to disagree, since it seems this planets ruins attract the minions of galactic evil. Shoulder stuff, start humping (that has always seemed like SUCH a rude term to me; why can't they just say 'walking with a heavy pack') down the hill towards the Stargate.
7:11 Trip back to gate mostly quite, except for Jacks random jokes. Still jumpy about possible Jaffa in area…or maybe that's caffeine withdrawl. I had no coffee so either is possible. Well, at least the trip is uneventful.
7:13 Quite reverie interrupted by ground giving way beneath my feet. Falling, ouch, dark, pain, crap.
7:14 Am I okay? Jack, I just fell thirty feet, hitting multiple roots and rocks on the way down, my right ankle is twisted, I've got dust in my eyes, my hands are cut by the rocks, and I haven't had any coffee! OF COURSE I'M NOT ALL RIGHT. Look around for rock to throw at Jack for asking stupid questions.
7:15 As it is very dark, can't see my own hand in front of face, so abandon rock idea. Jack says he'll throw down a rope. Didn't think we had any rope.
7:16 Sam points out we don't have any rope. I knew it. Roll eyes at Jacks suggestion that we make some rope. The man never ceases to amaze me.
7:17 Stay here? Well, I was going to psychicly teleport myself back home, after stopping by Abydoss to visit Skaara and the family, then hail an Asgard taxi back to Earth and have them drop me off at the 7-11 near my apartment, but because you think it's best, Jack, I'll stay here.
7:38 Spent the past twenty minutes imaging things to do to Jack to make up for him not bringing rope on the mission. Hmm, scorpions would be a good punishment.
7:41 Jack asks if I have the rope. Maybe snakes would be better for him.
7:42 CLIMB my way up?! Forget it, it's sharks for the good Colonel.
7:43 What's that? Eyes, a little yellow pair of eyes. Funny, I didn't know the hair on the back of my neck could stand up that fast. Hmm, let's throw a ration bar at it, see if it leaves.
7:44 That sounded like a pretty solid hit to me. Uh-oh, the thing is growling. Not good. Zat the darn thing. Get a look at the thing as zat goes off: teeth, claws, lotsa big muscles. Well, at least it's down now.
7:45 I really hope I'm seeing double-wait, make that triple...ok, what's doubled but for seven things? Tell me all those pairs of eyes aren't real. VERY not good. Guys, need help.
7:46 Oww, what the-? Oooh, a vine, good thinking guys. Yes, now pull me up…now please. Guys, PULL ALREADY! Thank you, thank you God-oww, head, pain, blackness-
7:53 Face is wet. Why is my face wet? Eyes see...Jack...and a canteen. That's it, scorpions, snakes, AND sharks, for him.
9: 26 Two minutes from the Gate, thank you Lord. I don't know what was worse, waiting for Jack to get me out of that hole, or listening to him whistle 'This is the song that never ends' for an hour straight on the way home. Next hole I fall in, I'm pulling him in too.
9:27 I must be getting PTSS, cause I thought I just heard a staff weapon go off. Oomph, oh, hello again ground.
9:28 Yep, that was a staff weapon. Thanks Teal'c I owe you one. Now I can panic from behind cover instead of panic in the open. Sam and Jack take cover behind a rock. Haven't Jaffa ever heard of using cover?
9:29 Guess not, since Sam, Jack, and Teal'c just wiped out about twelve of them that were standing out in the open. Oh yeah, I zatted a couple, too. Go me! Wait, I know that sound: gliders. Run, run like Anubis himself is chasing us, towards the Stargate.
9:30 Ok, at Stargate. Sam dials, thing goes whoosh, Jack signals with GDO. Gliders are blasting away behind us. Y'know, for guys in starfighters with big honking guns (great, I'm starting to THINK like Jack, now), they sure have crappy aim. Everyone jumps through Stargate and-YIKES!
9:31 After familiar spectacle of whooshing through wormhole for the millionth and first time, fall out of Stargate at SGC on top of pile consisting of Jack, Sam, and Teal'c. Yes, hello General. Say, as you're not currently doing anything, how about grabbing some pliers and removing the SIX INCH PIECE OF SHRAPHNEL STICKING OUT OF MY ASS!
9:32 Carted off to infirmary, thankfully laid on my stomach. Great, not even three hours into the day and I'm off to surgery. God must be getting a ton of laughs at my expense.
9:34 Never noticed this before, but no one ever seems surprised when I come in here. In fact, lots of those nurses look sort of…happy to see me? I don't even know who some of these people are, why would they be looking…at me…like…that?
9:35 Curtains, must close curtains. Separate self from mass of incoming lust-ridden nurses, help please! I need Teal'c to teach me some of those scowls that he uses so effectively, they might work in situations like these. There's the nearest curtains, now reach and, uh-oh, falling, ow.
9:36 Ah good, here comes Janet. Yes, scatter people, scatter to the winds and never come back. Phew, safe at last. Okay, back on the bed, I know that look. Now doc, if you could extract that mammoth piece of metal from my behind I'd-OWWW. I take back everything I ever said about your delicate, caring instincts, you are a mistress of PAIN!
9:37 What, that's it? That tiny little piece of rock is all that was lodged in there? Good lord, I'm pathetic. Thanks for the painkillers Doc, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to shrivel up into a tiny ball, and die of embarrassment. No, no let's not drag out the process by examining my-actually, do go ahead, probe the bump on my head, feel around my twisted ankle. The longer I'm back HERE, the more I can delay being out THERE. Jack, aka my humiliator, waits there.
9:38 Good, done with my torture session-I mean physical. Oh, pain meds, goody goody. Thanks. Wonder if she'd mind doing Jack next, give me an escape vector?
9:39 Smile means yes, sweet. Now, to limp back to my quarters. Actually, make that, run to my quarters. Run Daniel, RUN from the horny nurses.
9:42 Ah, my quarters. Can't be hurt here. Nope I'm good-whoops.
9:43 Stupid candy wrapper, making me fall on my ass. Wow, that did NOT feel good. Okay, back to work. We have a debriefing at 1100 hours.
10:16 Going over the notes and stuff I made on the planet, I realize that the temple was once used by Yu as a sort of getaway for his most esteemed servants and warriors. Apparently, some of the local plants could be smoked to attain some sort of euphoric state. Yu let his people use it as a reward for good service. Too bad, I could have used some of that stuff earlier for my ankle. Hmm, maybe Hammond would let us go back in a few weeks?
10:48 Okay, managed to assemble everything I needed for the debriefing with only one papercut. That has to be a new record for me. Everything's in order, now...carefully, one foot at a time…get out of the room. Eye open for belligerent candy wrappers.
10:49 Made it to door without loosing footing once. I rule!
10:51 Almost to briefing room. Nothing untoward has happened yet. Maybe I left my daily dose of bad luck back on that planet, for once.
10:52 While passing under fan, device activates, spraying papers everywhere. Come back, come back little ones! Don't abandon daddy when he needs you!
10:56 Ignoring snickers from juvenile marines, finally manage to collect wayward papers. From now on, I do NOT let Jack borrow my stapler. Let him borrow Sams, or Teal'cs. Teal'c never use his anyways.
10:59 Hah, beat the clock again. Okay, everyone's here, and by everyone I mean Sam, Teal'c, and me. $10 on Jack being 2 minutes late. Oh Sam, feeling lucky today, are we? All right, 3 minutes, you're on.
11:04 I swear, they did that on purpose; they must be in cahoots. Jack is looking WAY too smug. Oh well, let's begin the humiliation of Daniel on PB-whatever.
11:26 Briefing hasn't been THAT bad so far. Managed to leave out parts where I got sick and where I knocked myself out. Yes Jack, lips shut, or I'll SHOW you a good use for my stapler. Now, about our trip back.
11:27 The man will die by my hand. He made it sound like we could all see the frickin' hole! And not only that...oh no, he didn't. He did NOT just tell Hammond I blacked out. A rock hit me on the head, you moron! Must...restrain...homicidal...urges.
11:28 'I've had worse missions?!' I'm not quite sure how to take that particular remark from Hammond. Well, it really doesn't matter, seeing as how Sam is up next. Let's get a seat where I can kick Jack when needed.
11:29 Crafty bastard, only Teal'c can reach him. You can run, but you can't hide Jack. For this, I'll drink all YOUR coffee tomorrow, too.
11:48 Sam's been going on for a while, now. How did she know the planet we visited had orbited a blue star? And how did she know it had recently undergone a massive tectonic shift? And how did my half-asleep head end up propped on my hand in such a precarious position?
11:49 Yikes, what-owww! Damnit, don't startle me like that, general! I said as much in my report, I didn't have any coffee today. Ouch, poor chin, poor jaw. Uh-oh, I'm getting 'the look' from Sam. Not good.
11:54 Yes yes, good mission, you're proud of us, blah blah blah. Can we go now? (Note to self: ask Janet if thinking like Jack is sign of mental breakdown). We're dismissed, good. Run, RUN from the angry astrophysicist.
11:55 Run, RUN into the petite base CMO because you weren't watching where you were going. She'll kill me, she'll kill me nice and slow like the master torturer she-what? Looking for me? Oh, that doesn't sound good, I don't-damnit woman, stop smiling at me like that, it brings down my defenses.
11:56 Case in point, right here: a few soft words, a pull on the arm, and a smile is all it takes to lure me back into Janets House of Pain. Man, I'm such a pushover.
11:59 Okay, I'm here, ready to die. What next? Have a seat? There's a seat in my quarters, can I go back to get it? Okay, humor doesn't work here. Comply with order while she goes to get what she needs to show me. Keeping eye peeled for trouble in meantime.
12:00 Danger, danger Daniel Jackson. Libibinous nurse incoming at 11 o'clock, which means I've kept her waiting for an hour, now. Quick, diversion, DIVERSION. Ohh, tray. Push, tray goes down.
12:01 YES, it worked, she has to stop and clean it up. Don't look at me like that, I know that look. Hathor had that look. You just stay away until Janet gets back, I trust her not to try and-oh, nevermind, here she is.
12:02 Uh, what happened? I...uh...crap, think man, think. Man I'm thirsty, so very-no, that's not going to help...or will it? Water fountain, say you were going to the water fountain to get a drink. Hurry, she's getting suspicious.
12:03 Uh, we don't have a water fountain on this level? Oh, I see. Tell her you haven't had coffee today, that might work. Whew, she bought that. Okay, now what's wrong with me THIS time?
12:05 I suppose it should bother me that I can't understand half of what she's saying (MAN, I need coffee) but I really don't care. I'm away from Sam, who's going to try to kill me, so all is right with the world.
12:06 Huh? No, of course I don't understand what you just said. I told you, I haven't had any coffee, today. Are people just not listening to me? C'mon doc, I speak 28 languages but medicalese is not one of them.
12:07 Alien thingies...in my body. Simple bacteria...infection of my blood, yadda yadda yaddda. In other words, another day to spend sick in the infirmary, right? Right, knew it. And those anti-biotics taste SO nasty. Well, at least Sam can't kill me here, right? Right?
15:47 Well, I must say I'm a little disappointed. No-one from SG-1 comes to see me for over three hours after I leave the briefing room. Humph, some friends I have. Janet wouldn't even let me make an SF get some work from my quarters, either; something about total rest, giving meds a chance to work. Isn't she my doctor? Shouldn't she be worried about my MENTAL health, too? Doesn't she know that no work and no play make Daniel go crazy? Man, I'm so BORED! This place only has 17 magazines…and I finished those an hour ago.
15:48 Ohh, it's Teal'c. Heya buddy, took you long enough to come and find me. What? Nah, just some blood parasites, I've died from worse. Oh my sweet merciful God, is that a brownie? Sweet, sweet sweets, Teal'c you are the BEST! Thanks and, please, tell Sam I'm sorry and I'd appreciate it if she doesn't harbor an urge to kill me.
15:49 I think I confused him. Oh well, he has to go meditate, and stuff. Think I'll grab a nap. Mmmm, soft pillow.
19:33 Weird noises. Why are there weird noises? Open eyes, look around. Why is everyone wearing fur loincloths and chanting like cavemen? Not that I'm complaining, many of these women look very nice in fur loincloths. But are the bones through their noses really necessary?
19:34 Here comes Janet and...wow! I mean, wow! No bulky loincloth for her, just a slim, silky white toga. Can't believe I never noticed how very nice her figure is. Oh, cool, she was intricate hieroglyphic symbols painted on her arms and shoulders, with the caduceus symbol on her forehead. Is it really pathetic that I'm getting distracted from a beautiful woman's body by trying to read the writing on her arms? She's also speaking in fluent Greek, very interesting, very interesting indeed-
19:35 -wait, this is wrong! The people in the SGC don't dress like this, what's wrong with me? Better ask Janet…Janet the medicine goddess descended from the top of Olympus to find a human worthy of her-no, banish the thought Jackson!
19:36 I know that voice, it's Jack. Hey Jack, come help me and-yikes! How many Rambo movies did he watch while I was away today? He looks like Stallone from First Blood, massive machine gun, red bandanna, and everything, and he's spouting some German stream of words about 'must kill the commies and terrorists.' Okay, I'm officially freaked out now.
19:37 Enacting plan 'Jackson B': run like Hell from source of perceived danger. Getting past Jack shouldn't be that hard, he's much older than-oomph!
19:38 Great, add a sore neck to my list of injuries. And you DID TOO mean to clothsline me, Jack! Yes, thank you, deposit me on my bed, where Janet the Olympian beauty of healing will protect me from-is that a needle?
19:39 What about resting? What's resting have to do with a needle? Can't I rest without one-ouch. That really wasn't necessary I...feel...tired. Ohh, pillow.
TBC
// Next time: Wednesday! (what could come after that I wonder?)
// The button calls for you. If says: 'I am the magic button of the review. Push me, push me, push me, push me, push me...WHY
// HAVEN'T YOU PUSHED ME YET!?!' Yes, it's a very rude, insistent little button.
// See previous chapter for details
// Authors Note: Darnit, forgot to go legal in Chapter one again! Okay, for the kabillionth time, I don't own this stuff, just the
// story. Which is unfortunate, because if I DID own them, I'd use the money to establish a channel on cable showing nothing but
// X-Files, Babylon 5, and Stargate all day long. Heaven on the TV, yum!
Tuesday
6:45 Wake up to familiar sound. As have heard that sound a billion and one times in my life, am readily able to place it: staff weapon discharge. Teal'c, there are easier ways to start a fire, y'know.
6:46 Another staff weapon blast, not so close this time, meaning more than one staff weapon, meaning not just Teal'c, meaning Jaffa, meaning bad. Sit up as adrenaline rushes into system. Oooohoo, that's feels weird; what a rush. Speaking of which, I need coffee.
6:47 Decide coffee can wait after EXTREMELY close staff weapon blast singes hair, cheek, and burns off right side of glasses as I try to put them on. Reach for zat and spray electric death into bushes Teal'c is shooting at. I really liked those glasses too!
6:48 Staff weapon blast explodes four inches from crotch. Sprayed with dirt and burned sleeping bag. Decide now would be a good time to move it. Commence panicky-'I'm-not-trained-for-combat'-archaeologists-running-into-temple-for-cover-while-teammates-blast-bad-Jaffa-into-oblivion maneuver.
6:49 Trip over fallen section of ruins just as staff weapon flies into where my head just was. I will never complain about being clumsy again. On the down side, hit head hard, hello blackness.
6:56 Come to with Teal'c standing over me. Not best image in the world to wake up to: big Jaffa warrior with staff weapon standing over you. Still, glad it's our good Jaffa, which means bad Jaffa gone.
6:57 Thank you Teal'c, but I do not require assistance with my injury. Human beings are perfectly capable of being a part of an SG team after repeated head injuries. Just look at Jack.
6:58 Jack thinks we should head out. I'm not going to disagree, since it seems this planets ruins attract the minions of galactic evil. Shoulder stuff, start humping (that has always seemed like SUCH a rude term to me; why can't they just say 'walking with a heavy pack') down the hill towards the Stargate.
7:11 Trip back to gate mostly quite, except for Jacks random jokes. Still jumpy about possible Jaffa in area…or maybe that's caffeine withdrawl. I had no coffee so either is possible. Well, at least the trip is uneventful.
7:13 Quite reverie interrupted by ground giving way beneath my feet. Falling, ouch, dark, pain, crap.
7:14 Am I okay? Jack, I just fell thirty feet, hitting multiple roots and rocks on the way down, my right ankle is twisted, I've got dust in my eyes, my hands are cut by the rocks, and I haven't had any coffee! OF COURSE I'M NOT ALL RIGHT. Look around for rock to throw at Jack for asking stupid questions.
7:15 As it is very dark, can't see my own hand in front of face, so abandon rock idea. Jack says he'll throw down a rope. Didn't think we had any rope.
7:16 Sam points out we don't have any rope. I knew it. Roll eyes at Jacks suggestion that we make some rope. The man never ceases to amaze me.
7:17 Stay here? Well, I was going to psychicly teleport myself back home, after stopping by Abydoss to visit Skaara and the family, then hail an Asgard taxi back to Earth and have them drop me off at the 7-11 near my apartment, but because you think it's best, Jack, I'll stay here.
7:38 Spent the past twenty minutes imaging things to do to Jack to make up for him not bringing rope on the mission. Hmm, scorpions would be a good punishment.
7:41 Jack asks if I have the rope. Maybe snakes would be better for him.
7:42 CLIMB my way up?! Forget it, it's sharks for the good Colonel.
7:43 What's that? Eyes, a little yellow pair of eyes. Funny, I didn't know the hair on the back of my neck could stand up that fast. Hmm, let's throw a ration bar at it, see if it leaves.
7:44 That sounded like a pretty solid hit to me. Uh-oh, the thing is growling. Not good. Zat the darn thing. Get a look at the thing as zat goes off: teeth, claws, lotsa big muscles. Well, at least it's down now.
7:45 I really hope I'm seeing double-wait, make that triple...ok, what's doubled but for seven things? Tell me all those pairs of eyes aren't real. VERY not good. Guys, need help.
7:46 Oww, what the-? Oooh, a vine, good thinking guys. Yes, now pull me up…now please. Guys, PULL ALREADY! Thank you, thank you God-oww, head, pain, blackness-
7:53 Face is wet. Why is my face wet? Eyes see...Jack...and a canteen. That's it, scorpions, snakes, AND sharks, for him.
9: 26 Two minutes from the Gate, thank you Lord. I don't know what was worse, waiting for Jack to get me out of that hole, or listening to him whistle 'This is the song that never ends' for an hour straight on the way home. Next hole I fall in, I'm pulling him in too.
9:27 I must be getting PTSS, cause I thought I just heard a staff weapon go off. Oomph, oh, hello again ground.
9:28 Yep, that was a staff weapon. Thanks Teal'c I owe you one. Now I can panic from behind cover instead of panic in the open. Sam and Jack take cover behind a rock. Haven't Jaffa ever heard of using cover?
9:29 Guess not, since Sam, Jack, and Teal'c just wiped out about twelve of them that were standing out in the open. Oh yeah, I zatted a couple, too. Go me! Wait, I know that sound: gliders. Run, run like Anubis himself is chasing us, towards the Stargate.
9:30 Ok, at Stargate. Sam dials, thing goes whoosh, Jack signals with GDO. Gliders are blasting away behind us. Y'know, for guys in starfighters with big honking guns (great, I'm starting to THINK like Jack, now), they sure have crappy aim. Everyone jumps through Stargate and-YIKES!
9:31 After familiar spectacle of whooshing through wormhole for the millionth and first time, fall out of Stargate at SGC on top of pile consisting of Jack, Sam, and Teal'c. Yes, hello General. Say, as you're not currently doing anything, how about grabbing some pliers and removing the SIX INCH PIECE OF SHRAPHNEL STICKING OUT OF MY ASS!
9:32 Carted off to infirmary, thankfully laid on my stomach. Great, not even three hours into the day and I'm off to surgery. God must be getting a ton of laughs at my expense.
9:34 Never noticed this before, but no one ever seems surprised when I come in here. In fact, lots of those nurses look sort of…happy to see me? I don't even know who some of these people are, why would they be looking…at me…like…that?
9:35 Curtains, must close curtains. Separate self from mass of incoming lust-ridden nurses, help please! I need Teal'c to teach me some of those scowls that he uses so effectively, they might work in situations like these. There's the nearest curtains, now reach and, uh-oh, falling, ow.
9:36 Ah good, here comes Janet. Yes, scatter people, scatter to the winds and never come back. Phew, safe at last. Okay, back on the bed, I know that look. Now doc, if you could extract that mammoth piece of metal from my behind I'd-OWWW. I take back everything I ever said about your delicate, caring instincts, you are a mistress of PAIN!
9:37 What, that's it? That tiny little piece of rock is all that was lodged in there? Good lord, I'm pathetic. Thanks for the painkillers Doc, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to shrivel up into a tiny ball, and die of embarrassment. No, no let's not drag out the process by examining my-actually, do go ahead, probe the bump on my head, feel around my twisted ankle. The longer I'm back HERE, the more I can delay being out THERE. Jack, aka my humiliator, waits there.
9:38 Good, done with my torture session-I mean physical. Oh, pain meds, goody goody. Thanks. Wonder if she'd mind doing Jack next, give me an escape vector?
9:39 Smile means yes, sweet. Now, to limp back to my quarters. Actually, make that, run to my quarters. Run Daniel, RUN from the horny nurses.
9:42 Ah, my quarters. Can't be hurt here. Nope I'm good-whoops.
9:43 Stupid candy wrapper, making me fall on my ass. Wow, that did NOT feel good. Okay, back to work. We have a debriefing at 1100 hours.
10:16 Going over the notes and stuff I made on the planet, I realize that the temple was once used by Yu as a sort of getaway for his most esteemed servants and warriors. Apparently, some of the local plants could be smoked to attain some sort of euphoric state. Yu let his people use it as a reward for good service. Too bad, I could have used some of that stuff earlier for my ankle. Hmm, maybe Hammond would let us go back in a few weeks?
10:48 Okay, managed to assemble everything I needed for the debriefing with only one papercut. That has to be a new record for me. Everything's in order, now...carefully, one foot at a time…get out of the room. Eye open for belligerent candy wrappers.
10:49 Made it to door without loosing footing once. I rule!
10:51 Almost to briefing room. Nothing untoward has happened yet. Maybe I left my daily dose of bad luck back on that planet, for once.
10:52 While passing under fan, device activates, spraying papers everywhere. Come back, come back little ones! Don't abandon daddy when he needs you!
10:56 Ignoring snickers from juvenile marines, finally manage to collect wayward papers. From now on, I do NOT let Jack borrow my stapler. Let him borrow Sams, or Teal'cs. Teal'c never use his anyways.
10:59 Hah, beat the clock again. Okay, everyone's here, and by everyone I mean Sam, Teal'c, and me. $10 on Jack being 2 minutes late. Oh Sam, feeling lucky today, are we? All right, 3 minutes, you're on.
11:04 I swear, they did that on purpose; they must be in cahoots. Jack is looking WAY too smug. Oh well, let's begin the humiliation of Daniel on PB-whatever.
11:26 Briefing hasn't been THAT bad so far. Managed to leave out parts where I got sick and where I knocked myself out. Yes Jack, lips shut, or I'll SHOW you a good use for my stapler. Now, about our trip back.
11:27 The man will die by my hand. He made it sound like we could all see the frickin' hole! And not only that...oh no, he didn't. He did NOT just tell Hammond I blacked out. A rock hit me on the head, you moron! Must...restrain...homicidal...urges.
11:28 'I've had worse missions?!' I'm not quite sure how to take that particular remark from Hammond. Well, it really doesn't matter, seeing as how Sam is up next. Let's get a seat where I can kick Jack when needed.
11:29 Crafty bastard, only Teal'c can reach him. You can run, but you can't hide Jack. For this, I'll drink all YOUR coffee tomorrow, too.
11:48 Sam's been going on for a while, now. How did she know the planet we visited had orbited a blue star? And how did she know it had recently undergone a massive tectonic shift? And how did my half-asleep head end up propped on my hand in such a precarious position?
11:49 Yikes, what-owww! Damnit, don't startle me like that, general! I said as much in my report, I didn't have any coffee today. Ouch, poor chin, poor jaw. Uh-oh, I'm getting 'the look' from Sam. Not good.
11:54 Yes yes, good mission, you're proud of us, blah blah blah. Can we go now? (Note to self: ask Janet if thinking like Jack is sign of mental breakdown). We're dismissed, good. Run, RUN from the angry astrophysicist.
11:55 Run, RUN into the petite base CMO because you weren't watching where you were going. She'll kill me, she'll kill me nice and slow like the master torturer she-what? Looking for me? Oh, that doesn't sound good, I don't-damnit woman, stop smiling at me like that, it brings down my defenses.
11:56 Case in point, right here: a few soft words, a pull on the arm, and a smile is all it takes to lure me back into Janets House of Pain. Man, I'm such a pushover.
11:59 Okay, I'm here, ready to die. What next? Have a seat? There's a seat in my quarters, can I go back to get it? Okay, humor doesn't work here. Comply with order while she goes to get what she needs to show me. Keeping eye peeled for trouble in meantime.
12:00 Danger, danger Daniel Jackson. Libibinous nurse incoming at 11 o'clock, which means I've kept her waiting for an hour, now. Quick, diversion, DIVERSION. Ohh, tray. Push, tray goes down.
12:01 YES, it worked, she has to stop and clean it up. Don't look at me like that, I know that look. Hathor had that look. You just stay away until Janet gets back, I trust her not to try and-oh, nevermind, here she is.
12:02 Uh, what happened? I...uh...crap, think man, think. Man I'm thirsty, so very-no, that's not going to help...or will it? Water fountain, say you were going to the water fountain to get a drink. Hurry, she's getting suspicious.
12:03 Uh, we don't have a water fountain on this level? Oh, I see. Tell her you haven't had coffee today, that might work. Whew, she bought that. Okay, now what's wrong with me THIS time?
12:05 I suppose it should bother me that I can't understand half of what she's saying (MAN, I need coffee) but I really don't care. I'm away from Sam, who's going to try to kill me, so all is right with the world.
12:06 Huh? No, of course I don't understand what you just said. I told you, I haven't had any coffee, today. Are people just not listening to me? C'mon doc, I speak 28 languages but medicalese is not one of them.
12:07 Alien thingies...in my body. Simple bacteria...infection of my blood, yadda yadda yaddda. In other words, another day to spend sick in the infirmary, right? Right, knew it. And those anti-biotics taste SO nasty. Well, at least Sam can't kill me here, right? Right?
15:47 Well, I must say I'm a little disappointed. No-one from SG-1 comes to see me for over three hours after I leave the briefing room. Humph, some friends I have. Janet wouldn't even let me make an SF get some work from my quarters, either; something about total rest, giving meds a chance to work. Isn't she my doctor? Shouldn't she be worried about my MENTAL health, too? Doesn't she know that no work and no play make Daniel go crazy? Man, I'm so BORED! This place only has 17 magazines…and I finished those an hour ago.
15:48 Ohh, it's Teal'c. Heya buddy, took you long enough to come and find me. What? Nah, just some blood parasites, I've died from worse. Oh my sweet merciful God, is that a brownie? Sweet, sweet sweets, Teal'c you are the BEST! Thanks and, please, tell Sam I'm sorry and I'd appreciate it if she doesn't harbor an urge to kill me.
15:49 I think I confused him. Oh well, he has to go meditate, and stuff. Think I'll grab a nap. Mmmm, soft pillow.
19:33 Weird noises. Why are there weird noises? Open eyes, look around. Why is everyone wearing fur loincloths and chanting like cavemen? Not that I'm complaining, many of these women look very nice in fur loincloths. But are the bones through their noses really necessary?
19:34 Here comes Janet and...wow! I mean, wow! No bulky loincloth for her, just a slim, silky white toga. Can't believe I never noticed how very nice her figure is. Oh, cool, she was intricate hieroglyphic symbols painted on her arms and shoulders, with the caduceus symbol on her forehead. Is it really pathetic that I'm getting distracted from a beautiful woman's body by trying to read the writing on her arms? She's also speaking in fluent Greek, very interesting, very interesting indeed-
19:35 -wait, this is wrong! The people in the SGC don't dress like this, what's wrong with me? Better ask Janet…Janet the medicine goddess descended from the top of Olympus to find a human worthy of her-no, banish the thought Jackson!
19:36 I know that voice, it's Jack. Hey Jack, come help me and-yikes! How many Rambo movies did he watch while I was away today? He looks like Stallone from First Blood, massive machine gun, red bandanna, and everything, and he's spouting some German stream of words about 'must kill the commies and terrorists.' Okay, I'm officially freaked out now.
19:37 Enacting plan 'Jackson B': run like Hell from source of perceived danger. Getting past Jack shouldn't be that hard, he's much older than-oomph!
19:38 Great, add a sore neck to my list of injuries. And you DID TOO mean to clothsline me, Jack! Yes, thank you, deposit me on my bed, where Janet the Olympian beauty of healing will protect me from-is that a needle?
19:39 What about resting? What's resting have to do with a needle? Can't I rest without one-ouch. That really wasn't necessary I...feel...tired. Ohh, pillow.
TBC
// Next time: Wednesday! (what could come after that I wonder?)
// The button calls for you. If says: 'I am the magic button of the review. Push me, push me, push me, push me, push me...WHY
// HAVEN'T YOU PUSHED ME YET!?!' Yes, it's a very rude, insistent little button.
