Muffy had just arrived at Lakewood when she spotted Mickie further down the hallway, wearing an expensive velvet dress. I hope she doesn't see me, she thought.
But she did. "Hey, Muffy!" exclaimed the rich aardvark girl. "I'm looking forward to seeing you at the party at my place."
Rather reluctantly, Muffy trudged over to where Mickie was standing with a few girls from her class. "Oh, right," she said sarcastically. "I mustn't forget about the party atyour place. I wouldn't want to miss the party atyour place, Mickie."
Before Mickie had a chance to detect the hint of bitterness in Muffy's words, she saw Beat Simon walking past with an unhappy scowl. The rabbit-aardvark girl was wearing one of her regular blouses, without a sweater...and her new figure was plainly visible.
Mickie gestured slightly, directing Muffy's attention to Beat. "Are those real?" she wondered aloud.
"Yes, they are," Muffy affirmed. "I've seen them."
Mickie put a hand over her mouth and started to giggle helplessly. "That's so freaking weird," she choked out.
"Don't make fun," Muffy scolded her. "She can't help it if her body develops faster. A lot of kids have that problem." She grinned against her will. "But you're right. It is freaking weird."
Beat joylessly greeted Fern, Francine, and Sue Ellen on her way to Mrs. Krantz' room, and all three girls had varying levels of success in suppressing their giggles.
"I'm sorry for laughing at you," Francine told her.
"So am I," Sue Ellen added. "But I can't help it."
"Better to deal with it now, instead of putting it off," Fern remarked.
Poor Beat was even further demoralized when Buster failed to raise his hand for even one question during the course of the history lesson. The rabbit boy simply stared into space, and seemed to pay no attention to the presentation. Feeling concerned, she led him aside after the class was dismissed.
"You didn't answer any questions," she quietly pointed out. "Is something wrong?"
Buster stared sadly at the floor. "I don't have a powerful brain after all," he lamented. "I just have an ordinary brain."
"You don't need a powerful brain," Beat reassured him. "You just need to use the brain you've got."
Buster smiled slightly. "That's corny, but it helps."
Beat leaned forward a bit as if getting ready to kiss Buster again, but stopped herself. "There's one other thing I wanted to tell you," she half-whispered.
"What's that?"
The morose girl fumbled for words. "I...really enjoyed...kissing you, Buster. But I can't kiss you anymore. My mum says it's best if I give up boys for the time being."
"Why?" asked the intrigued Buster.
"It's hard to explain," said Beat, her voice quivering. "My mum tried to explain it to me, but I didn't understand fully. She says my body is changing too soon, and if I get involved with a boy, I could make a mistake and bugger up my life. Those weren't her exact words."
"Your body's changing, all right," Buster observed. "You're taller, and your chest is all lumpy."
Beat smiled bitterly. "And the best is yet to come, I'm afraid."
----
"What you see before you," said Mickie with a sweep of her arm, "is an exact miniature replica of the Queen Elizabeth II."
In one of the many rooms of the Chanel mansion, most of the students from Mr. Boughton's class were admiring the enormous, lavishly detailed toy boat, which rested on a foam rubber surface.
"Is it operational?" asked the wonder-struck Prunella. "I mean, does it rock back and forth like a real ship?"
"Yes, it does," Mickie replied. "We even added a ramp so we can move it into the swimming pool. But we keep it here most of the time."
"Because the chlorine can stain the finish," Alan pointed out.
"Exactly. Once the former owner of my mansion arrives, we'll all go for a tropical cruise."
Nearby, C.V. was examining a mysterious door. "Does this lead to the cave with the killer robots?" he asked Mickie.
"No," the girl answered. "It's the bathroom."
"Are there killer robots?"
Mickie sighed impatiently. "As long as they put the seat down when they're done."
Hearing a ring of the doorbell, Mickie hurried toward the front entrance to answer it, only to nearly run into a manservant who was walking in the same direction. "Sorry, Bailey," she apologized.
"The fault was mine, Miss Mickie," said the servant, who obligingly stood to one side.
When Mickie pulled open the large pine door, she was treated to the sight of a dissatisfied frown on the face of Muffy Crosswire. "Come in, Muffy," she welcomed the girl. "You're just in time. Well, maybe a little late."
"I put an access ramp at the front of the house so my handicapped boyfriend could come and go in comfort," said Muffy as she stepped into the mansion. "And you removed it and replaced it with...what? Rhododendrons! What were you thinking, Mickie Chanel?"
"We added a new ramp at the back of the house," said Mickie, showing Muffy to where the other kids were congregated.
"The back?" Muffy groused. "I hope you don't have any handicapped friends, because they'll feel like second-class citizens here."
As Alan and Prunella moved forward to greet her, Muffy noticed a pleasing change to the living room's decor--gorgeous, cherry-colored paneling. It was an improvement she herself might have mandated.
"You...replaced the paneling..." she said rapturously. "It's...it's..."
Then she caught herself, remembering the purpose of her visit.
"It's vomitrocious!" she complained vehemently.
"Thank you, Muffy," said Mickie warmly. "I don't know what that word means, but I'll take it as a compliment."
"Now that you're here," Alan told Muffy, "we can go on that cruise Mickie promised."
"Right this way," said Mickie, waving for all to follow her.
Muffy grimaced as she inspected the wallpaper in the hallway. "This pattern looks like someone squished a bug and made copies," she grumbled.
She was the last to arrive in the QE2 room. "The stairway to the deck is on the left," Mickie instructed her friends. "I'll control the rocking motion from this panel. If you start feeling seasick, let me know."
When Muffy laid eyes on the cruise ship replica, she nearly fainted. It was the most fabulous plaything she had ever beheld. She would have gladly saved her allowance for ten years to possess it...
...yet she had to come up with another witty insult. And she couldn't. She was too busy stammering in awe.
"Are you okay, Muffy?" asked Prunella.
"Humina humina humina..." was all Muffy could get out of her mouth.
"I think she likes it," remarked Alan.
Shaking her head vigorously, Muffy finally returned to her senses, and made the cleverest comment that she could manage.
"It stinks."
The room fell silent.
C.V. sniffed the air. "I don't smell anything. And I have a super-enhanced olfactory sense."
"How does it stink?" asked Mickie, who sounded slightly offended.
Muffy clarified her statement as best she could. "It just...stinks."
While Mickie rolled her eyes in frustration, Prunella leaned over Muffy and glared piercingly at her. "I think you should show our hostess a little more respect," said the rat girl indignantly. "You are, after all, a guest in her house."
"Yes, I am," replied Muffy, directing her accusing gaze at Mickie. "I'm a guest inyour house, which used to bemy house, and you'll never let me forget that. That's why you invited me here--so you can show me how fortunate you are, and how unfortunate I am, and how much you've improved on what used to belong to me!"
"No, it's not," said Mickie calmly.
The aardvark girl's soft answer took Muffy by surprise, and she could only gape.
"I invited you because one of the girls in my class had to travel," Mickie explained. "I had an invitation left over, and I figured you might want to see your old place again. I'm not trying to belittle you, Muffy."
No one dared move or speak. All eyes were on Muffy, whose head spun in an attempt to piece together what she had heard.
Finally she lowered her head and spoke contritely. "Oh, geez. I've been such a jerk. Please forgive me, Mickie."
"I'll let it slide this time," said the rich girl.
"I said all those mean things because I didn't want you to think I was jealous," Muffy continued. "The rhododendrons are beautiful. In fact, rhododendrons are my favorite flower. And the cherry paneling...it's to die for. The wallpaper's great too. And the boat...oh, I'd give anything to have that boat..."
"You do have the boat," Mickie informed her. "For tonight, at least."
Overwhelmed, Muffy took several breaths before going on. "It's all so wonderful, Mickie. You've made more of this house than the Crosswires could ever make of it, and I'm saying that as a Crosswire. Can I be your disciple?"
"Get in line," quipped Mickie.
----
While Muffy enjoyed an imaginary cruise on the QE2 with Mickie and her classmates, Beat's girlfriends paid her a surprise visit to show their support during her time of change. "It's like bat mitzvah, only three years early," Francine described it to her. "Today you are a woman."
Fern, Sue Ellen, and Jenna were also present at the Simons' apartment, and Beat's mother was helpful enough to prepare popcorn and make a trip to the video store. Her natural preference being fantasy movies, she brought back three selections--Sloppy Blockhead's Totally Bogus Homework Assignment, Sloppy Blockhead's Totally Bogus Homework Assignment Two, and Sloppy Blockhead's Totally Bogus Homework Assignment Two Two.
Jenna and Beat stood back to back while Fern compared their heights with a tape measure. "Not counting ears, Beat's taller than Jenna by three and a half inches," the poodle girl reported.
"I don't believe it," Jenna marveled. "We used to be the same height."
"Would you like to compare any other measurements?" Fern asked the two girls.
"Absolutely not," replied Beat.
"Let's watch a movie!" shouted Francine, grabbing the topmost video from the pile.
"Quiet, everyone!" Sue Ellen barked.
The other girls froze and fixed their gaze on the cat girl, who was staring at the TV screen with wide eyes and open mouth.
"This just in," said the news reporter. "A twelve-year-old girl has confessed to the theft of a valuable crystal from Los Cactos National Laboratory."
The next face to appear on the screen caused Francine to nearly jump out of her shoes.
"She's alive," she muttered unbelievingly. "April's alive."
----
The End of Arthur Goes Fifth I
