Author's Notes: See chapter one for disclaimer and explanation.

Gah…over a month since the last chapter. I'm sorry! I've been busy at work and other things. Once again, I hope I'll start writing more frequently after this. Keep your fingers crossed.

I got very little feedback from chapter seventeen. I don't expect people to shower me with accolades or anything, but the developments in the last chapter were quite heavy. I kinda expected more reaction than what I got. Oh, well…

Separate Destinies
By Annie-chan
Chapter Eighteen: Memory Overload

"Cloud!"

The blond swordsman stopped and turned as Riku ran toward him. "Yes?" he asked the younger man, as if he was quite unconcerned by anything.

"What happened to you?" Riku asked, slightly out of breath. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is the matter, Riku," Cloud assured him. "I'm all right. Trust me."

"No, you're not," Riku protested, as if speaking to someone who habitually fudged the truth.

Cloud sighed and turned back toward his bedroom door, opening it and going inside.

"I felt it, Cloud," Riku continued, following inside. "Your soul is losing its grip on your body, and your eyes aren't as bright as they used to be. What happened to you? Why are you dying?" As the last word left his mouth, Riku felt a sharp twinge of pain. Saying it out loud made it seem so much more real than before.

The older man sighed again and motioned for Riku to close the door. "I have lived a long time, Riku," he said slowly. "Perhaps it is just my time to die."

Riku looked down, feeling guilty. Yes, Cloud had lived for a long time, and he had to die someday, just like everyone else. This denial Riku was feeling now seemed more than a little childish, but he was still no more receptive to the idea. "But…you've never met your soulmate." The words sounded weak and flimsy in the still air, and he knew immediately that it was the wrong thing to say. Cloud, who was facing away from him, stiffened up, and Riku could see the black leathery wing trembling slightly.

"Yes," Cloud whispered finally, relaxing again. "I never have met her. Or him."

"Him?" Riku asked. "You're a man. Wouldn't your soulmate be a woman?"

"Usually, yes," Cloud explained, sitting on the bed. "The vast majority of ylfen have a soulmate that is the opposite sex, but it is a very rare occurrence—perhaps one out of every couple thousand or so—that one's soulmate is of the same gender. It never happens to one who isn't attracted to their own sex in the first place. Your mother was not attracted to other women, so her soulmate was most certainly a man, but your father, though he didn't entertain the notion very often, did find other men to be as beautiful and eye-catching as women. Again, odds are that he would be mated to a woman, and he was, but there was always the slight chance that his soulmate would have been born as another male. It is because fate sometimes matches two men or two women that we do not look upon homosexuality as a bad thing. Strange, maybe, but not bad."

Riku nodded slowly. In his "experimental" days, before he met Leiya, he did on occasion share his bed with another young male. He had never really thought of the idea, however.

"Anyway," Cloud said, dismissing the subject, "you're right. I never did meet my soulmate." His voice dropped, sadness creeping in. "I never will. Not in this life."

"How can you say that?" Riku asked, struck by the conviction in Cloud's voice. "You might meet her tomorrow."

"No, Riku," Cloud shook his head. "I'm getting old, and if I haven't met her yet, I probably won't meet her, but I'm sure now that it is impossible before I die."

"Why?" the silver-haired one asked.

"About a month ago," Cloud said slowly, "I felt a strange sensation. A freezing cold shot through me, beginning at the base of my skull, coalescing around my heart, then flowing quickly down my spine. When it ceased, I felt a deep, hollow feeling, as if hopelessness was grasping at me, trying to overwhelm me. I recovered after several minutes, and I felt fine afterward, but I couldn't find anything to explain the cause. It wasn't until about a week and a half ago that I began thinking about it again. Since then, I've been feeling my strength drain from me, the fire of my spirit dying down, the passions and enthusiasms that I've lived with for centuries fading until I can hardly tell they're there anymore. My mind doesn't realize it, but my soul knows that its other half is gone from this world. I never met her, never looked into her eyes, so our souls were never bound together. Her death did not shred my soul, as it would have had we known each other, but…I feel so horribly alone, lost. I want to die, Riku, to finally find and join with her."

"I'm…I'm sorry," Riku whispered after Cloud was silent for several moments. "I was wrong to think you were giving up."

"Oh, I am giving up," Cloud said, "and it's only natural for someone to wish their friends could live a little longer than they do."

"It's only natural to follow your soulmate into death, too," Riku replied. "I can't wish you would stay longer. It wouldn't be right."

"Oh, Riku," Cloud chuckled, standing again. "You are still on the young side of things. The world still separates out into black and white for you, with a small gray area in between. There are few things that are not either right or wrong for you, are there?" Without waiting for a reply, he continued, "Right and wrong do exist, little cousin, but not as strongly as most people start out believing. It always depends on who you are, what you want, and what is best for you. You'll learn in time that there are very few absolute truths in life, or beyond."

"Father used to say that the only real certainty in life is death," Riku murmured, remembering the tall, tormented man to whom he looked so similar.

"I can believe that," Cloud nodded. He touched Riku's shoulder. "I have a favor to ask you."

"What is it?" Riku asked.

"Stay with me until I'm gone," Cloud answered. "I don't ask that you spend every second with me—I won't keep you from continuing your life during this period—but of all the people I have met, you are the last one alive I really care about and love. Please, will you…?" He trailed off into silence.

"I will," Riku said. "I'll stay with you, Cloud."

Cloud dipped his head down briefly in an abbreviated nod, then returned to the bed, sitting back down, now a little shakier than he was before. "Thanks, Riku."


Riku turned the silver knob slowly, opening the door silently. It had been several days since Cloud had told Riku hat he was dying, and the blond warrior couldn't be far away from his final moments. He was quickly losing strength, and Riku felt his spirit growing dimmer with every passing hour.

The silver-haired man frowned as he walked toward the bed. He did not like this dying business. Not at all. Many ylfen die violent deaths, either from accidents or in combat with someone or something, and those who do not fade slowly, wasting away until their souls can no longer hang onto their bodies. Most who died in the second way did so in mental and spiritual anguish, having lost their soulmate, the world no longer holding any joy for them at all. All they know in their last few days or weeks is black despair, and death itself is a blissful release. There were few truly peaceful deaths for his father's people.

My people, he reminded himself. He was counted among the ylfe population as much as if he was a pureblooded member, but he often still thought of himself as an outsider looking in. His life in the One World was by now many times longer than his life in the Many Worlds, but some small part of him still held onto his initial lifestyle.

He sighed softly as he sat down in the edge of the bed. Cloud was breathing slowly, sleeping. Riku often wondered why those whose souls begin to fade like this don't just end it on their own, or ask someone else to. There were so many ways. A sharp object or poison would be the quickest ways, perhaps. But, no, they linger on, letting themselves die at the soul's slow pace. Perhaps it is the ylfen's deep love for the beautiful planet they call home that causes them to take such a long time.

I wonder what the afterlife is like, Riku wondered, settling himself. Surely, it would be better than the mortal life. Or perhaps not. He knew many of the different interpretations of the afterlife as set down by several different religions in the Many Worlds, but he had not heard word one about it in the One World. Did they know, or did they not know, and therefore are not hazarding any guesses? Even if he had heard of it here, there was no guarantee the ylfen would be right. All he knew was that death allowed soulmates to reunite. Did the dead all go to the same place, or are the righteous separated from the wicked? What defined righteousness and wickedness? Is there really sin, and is it punished in the afterlife? If so, is the punishment eternal, or does it stop once the sinner is "reformed"? Is there such thing as reincarnation? Do the people of the Many Worlds all go to the same afterlife? Do they go to the same afterlife as the people of the One World? Oh, God, he hoped so. If he would never see his childhood friends again, especially Sora and Kairi, not even in death, he would feel deeply wronged. A reunion with some loved ones would have less meaning if a reunion with other loved ones were impossible.

Again, his thoughts drifted over to a man to whom he was almost a physical twin. It had been a long time now since Sephiroth had finally died, and Riku still sometimes found himself thinking about him. What was he doing now? Was he happy? He had to be happier in the afterlife than he was before he died. He was rejoined with the one who mattered far more to him than anyone else did. He knew that for a fact. He had felt the ecstatic joy as his father's departing soul remelded with Wenna's waiting spirit. It was one of the strongest emotions he had ever felt in his life that didn't come from his own heart.

"Mm…Riku?" a soft voice murmured. Looking down, he saw that Cloud was awake. His once brilliant blue eyes now had only the smallest, fainted spark shining deep in them.

"Yeah, it's me," Riku nodded, a small smile flitting across his cheeks. Though not as strong as when his father had died, he was again feeling a strange mixture of sorrow and happiness. He was grieving for his cousin's imminent demise, but at the same time he was glad that Cloud's mortal struggles were finally closing, freeing him to whatever and whoever was waiting for him on the other side of death.

"I think…just a few minutes more…" the shorter man whispered. He did not move as Riku took his hand. His skin was paler than usual and cold.

"I'll miss you, Cloud," Riku said, feeling his emotions welling up again. "I'm sorry things weren't better for you." Only a small percentage of ylfen do not find their soulmates before death, and most of those do not due to a premature death. Cloud had lived quite a long time, and yet had still not found his other half.

"Nah, it's all right," Cloud replied. "Could have been much worse."

"Say hello to my father for me, will you?" Riku asked.

"Heh…will do, kid," Cloud chuckled briefly. It was the last thing he would ever say.

They sat there in silence for an unknown amount of time. Riku lost count of the minutes, and he wouldn't be able to tell if it was a long time or a short time. However long it was, Riku finally felt Cloud's wavering spirit go out like a dying candle flame, the last bit of light draining from his eyes. Though he had seen it before, Riku still shuddered to watch the change in the eyes as someone dies. What were once windows to the soul were now just flat, lifeless balls of nerve tissue with the jelly-like vitreous humour inside. Riku looked away and passed his hand over Cloud's face, closing the eyelids.

"Rest in peace, dear friend," he said softly. "Until we meet again."


The halls seemed uncommonly quiet now. They always were quiet, but the silence was now tangible, almost as if one could reach out and grasp a handful.

It was two days since Cloud's pyre had burned, the wind scattering his ashes over the wide plains surrounding Aerie's great chasm. Riku had said little since before then. He had not cried at all. He grieved deeply, but he did not cry. Cloud would have not liked for Riku to shed tears over him, over a death willingly accepted, so he did not. Tears did not try to force their way out, nor did they gnaw at his insides, making him feel ready to burst. They just did not come, as if honoring Cloud's wishes.

Riku stopped his slow trek through the main hall, looking at the door he was now in front of. This was the door behind which Sephiroth had once accumulated hundreds of bloody skulls, some with flesh still hanging off of them. After Riku had managed to get him to promise not to kill kitschen for revenge anymore, Sephiroth had disposed of the "prizes"—how, Riku was unsure—and he had sterilized the room right down to the walls. That was centuries ago now. Nevertheless, the room had stood empty and silent, the only thing filling it being the pitch-blackness. Even the shelves that were once there were gone. The room had taken on a strange quality. The mere thought of using it for something else caused a chill to shoot down one's spine, a feeling of dread and ill omen accompanying it. Those four walls had enclosed ghastly reminders of a day gone horribly wrong countless years ago, and to use it for a more innocent purpose was unthinkable. Whatever went in there would be tainted by the room's long history as a grisly trophy room.

"I need to get a hold of myself," he sighed aloud, leaning against the closed door. Still, even acknowledging that, he had no desire to use that room. Perhaps Tanis or his children would use it, but Riku knew he would not. His son had never seen what he had seen lying scattered about the room, stacked on closely hung shelves that almost covered the walls. "Ugh, I need to think of something else."

He cleared his mind, pushing the unwelcome memories out of his head, sighing slowly as a peaceful darkness filled his thoughts. He let other memories trickle in of their own accord, filling the empty spaces and melding together into the jumble of thoughts and words that make up one's conscious mind. It was a relaxing technique, and Riku often did it as a way to loosen himself up. It was much better than letting one's anxieties take control and make one stiff and sore.

A brief flash of his father as a very young boy flickered past his mind's eye. Immediately following was an equally brief flash of his grandparents, Sephiroth's mother and father. Riku had of course never known them, and he realized now that he didn't know much more about them than their names and what was said about them in the family history books in the library. Sephiroth had been born and grew up in this house delved into the side of the cliff, as one of his parents had. Riku was sure that the family had lived here for many generations, perhaps as far back as the founding of this ylfe settlement. He had read about his family at the library, but no biography would ever represent the true depth and personality of its subject, no matter how detailed. Again, Riku felt a sense of nostalgia for times and people he had never even been alive to know.

Maybe… A possibility popped up in his head, though he at first dismissed it as farfetched. Everyone who had lived here in the past had left their very faint mark in the memory of this house. Riku, Leiya, and Tanis were leaving their own thought-shadows now, which would remain until this place crumbled. Riku was a psychic, thus very sensitive to thoughts and emotions if he opened his mind up. Maybe he could learn more about his ancestors if he tried to channel those thought-shadows.

Taking a deep breath, he cleared his mind again. He let the comforting darkness linger for a few minutes, then he opened his mind again. This time, however, he did it in a very precise way, feeling about in the house's "consciousness" for the memories of past residents.

Slowly, very slowly, the thoughts came in. Riku could find no words to describe it. He merely felt.

The knowledge that came to him was vague, yet at the same time there was a wealth of information for him to draw upon. He did not get into the minds of those who came before him, but it was as if he were witnessing a long montage of different lives, different personalities. All those who had lived here, who were born and had died here, were now open to him, and he could feel it all as if they were his own thoughts and emotions, his own needs and desires. His curiosity, however, was not satisfied. He wanted to know more, to feel more, to come closer to those who had long ago departed. He wanted to experience what they experienced more deeply than he was now. He opened his mind further.

It was a horrible mistake.

Riku gasped and stiffened. Opening his mind further and digging deeper than he had started was like throwing the switch to open straining floodgates. Information of all kinds was now pouring into his mind. The sheer amount of lives that had been lived here, for generations uncounted, was now beating against him, assaulting him for his insolence. The past must stay the past, and he had tried to make it the present, if only in his own head.

"N-no…!" he cried, sinking to his knees. "No more! Stop!" His fingers fisted in his hair, as if trying to claw the memories from his brain with his own fingernails. He tried to close the connection, but it was no use. If anything, the flood of information only got harder, more intense. He had tapped into an unexplored vein, looking for a stream to slake his thirst at. Instead, he had found a raging torrent. He fell to the floor, still clutching his head. He never realized it, but he screamed shrilly, his voice echoing down the hallway. His sight went black, his hearing reduced to a high ringing. Oh, God, it hurt so much…

A pair of strong arms wound around him, pulling him up. His son had found him, but he had no way of knowing what was ailing his father, who looked now as if struggling with a nightmare, stiff and shaking, unable to tear the unseen horrors from his mind's eye.

"Mother!" Riku heard Tanis calling both verbally and mentally through the din. The young man was terrified, finding his father suffering greatly, yet from an unknown cause. "MOTHER!"

Something snapped in Riku's mind, all incoming information coming to a crashing halt. He was suddenly suspended in an empty void, isolated from thought, time, and sensation. Absolute nothing was the last thing he felt.

To be continued…

Author's Notes: Gaaaaah…my ideas always sound so cool in my mind, when I'm thinking them as if watching a TV show or movie, but when I try to put them into words, they seem so awkward and clunky. Bleah. I'm not quite as satisfied as I had hoped I would be with the ending scene, with Riku's mind getting flooded with information, but it's the best I can do. I hope it's good enough. I think I used "thought", "emotion" and "feel" too often. Double bleah. Of course, they say your toughest critic is always yourself, so I hope that's the case here. It's been too long since I've written anything (over a month), so I guess I need to get back into the swing of things. Maybe next chapter will be better, at least to me. I'd like to know what you think of this chapter, as well as the last, since there was little response to chapter seventeen. I hope that's not because of some problem with it not showing up. Let me know if that's the case, as well as telling me what you think of this in a review or email, onegai shimasu!

I don't know why I put that bit in about sexual orientation. I usually just put my fingers to the keyboard to write my fics, and that just happened to come out while typing this chapter. Eheh...