Author's Note: Read on!
What Would the Marauder's Map Say..?
The Pig and the Horse uncover the Map's Holiness.
Vernon has crept into Harry's room during the night. He sees a blank piece of parchment sitting on the bedside table. It twitches a little, causing him to jump a bit. Gesturing Petunia, she follows suit over to Vernon. They gawk at the parchment for the longest time, and then Vernon makes a brave attempt. He picks it up, his strong fingers clenching the Map firmly. Unexpectedly, words are etched on the parchment. Petunia gasps in horror, while Vernon lets go abruptly, letting it fall back onto the table.
"What is the cursed parchment??" gasps Petunia, her bony neck twitching.
"Some bloody trick paper, Petunia dear" growls Vernon.
They lean in close to the parchment to read the words etched on it.
"What the bloody hell is this??" swears Vernon. He looks carefully at the parchment as Petunia looks over him.
Mr. Moony suggests that Vernon check his blood pressure, it seems as if his face is going to burst into pieces any moment. He also wonders how a git can't stand a simple word 'Magic', but allows a horse in the house. And don't wrinkle away the Map's unsoiled beauty, you pompous!
Vernon is huffing madly now, his eyes gleaming in fury.
"They don't dare insult Petunia" he snarls.
Petunia appallingly winces at Vernon
"Meaning the horse comment was directed at me? Do I look like a horse to you?"
Vernon shifts uneasily.
"No, n-no dear! Of course not. The last thing you remind me of is a horse"
"Meaning I don't have a horse's majestic beauty?" she snaps.
Mr. Padfoot thinks Vernon is high. Is he on cocaine? He also thinks that animals shouldn't come near the Holy Map
Vernon gasps, "Holy Map? Padfoot? What in all hells?! Damn this thing!!" his anger rises, and he reaches for the map, stopping midway as he remembers it's magic.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot, and also wonders how strange Vernon and Petunia's wedding day looked. He bets everyone thought that Petunia was some kind of stick, and Vernon is so damn fat you couldn't tell if he was alive; the expression on his face. Mr. Prongs is also ashamed of having muddy Muggles for in-laws, and feels sorry for his dear Lily Flower
"Lily Flower? In-laws? D-does thisâ€is h-he...?" Petunia chokes croakily.
"But they're d-dead!" they shriek in unison, and run out of the room, greatly panicked.
Mr. Wormtail thinks that Mr. and Mrs. Dursleys are bloody pigeons!
Harry awakens, chuckling to himself at the fading letters on the Map. Tomorrow he would be leaving for Hogwarts
Author's Note: -dies from embarresment-. As I said before, this was written eight months ago, when I was an even worse writer than I am today. I did very slight editing, so please don't judge my skill by this thing. Review please!
