(Created by: TimeTravellingEchinda, Panthergirl, TurquoisePhoenix, DarkSpyroIke, Terror, Dingodilelover, Cocho and Darkeiya at the Spyro Fans Anonymous board.
A/N: The disclaimers are as follows:
Changeling, Wart and Doomfeather (c) TurquoisePhoenix
Ninja Goats and Angry Mob (c) Panthergirl
Roo and Ech (c) TimeTravelingEchidna
DarkShade (c) Cocho
Ripta (c) Darkeiya
Phaydees and Zoloe (c) DarkSpyroIke
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley (c) J.K. Rowling
Spyro and all related characters (c) Universal
Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik (c) Sega/SonicTeam
Dora, Boots and Swiper (c) Nickelodeon
Denzel Q. Crocker (c) Butch Hartman
Kevin and Plank (c) Danny Antonucci
And any authors who make cameos are (c) to their respective selves. Da Dark One not included, for he is a braindead flamer who wouldn't know quality fanfiction if it kicked him in the ass.
Phew, that's a lot of disclaimers to put! But with that many crossovers, it's certainly worth it!)
One day, Spyro was walking through Avalar when he heard a noise. He looked all over and determined that it was coming from this little hole in the wall.
"Odd, I wonder what that is?" he asked himself. Spyro stuck his head through the hole and saw a peanut butter sandwich driving one of those huge tanks from Halo.
"Holy cow!!" yelled Spyro, which alerted the peanut butter sandwich that the dragon was there. The gun at the top of the tank slowly turned around to aim at where Spyro was looking, when it grew a mustache and flew away like the Rhino tanks in GTA. Spyro looked around to make sure that nobody saw this event, when he saw Elora. She was busy, so Spyro didn't bug her. Spyro turned around.
All of a sudden, Spyro said, "HOLY COW!" for the mysterious force had made him say this. Then Spyro saw a possessed lawn mower headed straight for him! Screaming, Spyro turned around and ran but the lawn mower started chasing him!
Panic-crazed, Spyro heard it say, "Spyro...I want your...gems!" Spyro looked at it weirdly, for that can mean two things: either the lawnmower has some serious problems, or it belongs to Moneybags. Spyro smashed the lawnmower to pieces using a piece of buttered toast! Suddenly, the toast fell out of his claws and butter started oozing all over his brand-new pair of bunny slippers! Spyro was extremely sad and angry, and to he took his sadness and anger out on a hunk of meat!
"Look guys! I'm Rocky!" Spyro said to no one in particular. Then, the meat came back to life. Spyro watched it run away to Moneybags, who then demanded that it run into a brick wall yelling "The choo-choo is coming!" The meat ran off and did this while Spyro dialed a phone.
"Hello, police? Moneybags went insane again. Can you get the guys with the white jackets in?" Spyro said into the receiving end.
On the other line, he heard a voice say, "AHA! SPYRO THE DRAGON! I knew that you'd call me someday, because you always get zapped by that Zoë, Elora the Faun's FAIRY GODPARENT!" Spyro looked at the phone in disbelief, because he knew that Denzel Crocker would soon be in the Dragon Realms to join Grendor for a tea party. Since Spyro didn't like Grendor for any apparent reason, he decided to go crash the party. When he arrived at Grendor's house, he found Da Dark One. He had also heard of this party, and through the power of flaming, he had arrived there before our hero.
"ive funally found j00, ya ----ing girl thingy!!!" Da Dark One yelled, talking in his strange language of Dorkense. He pulled out his tool of choice, the FLAMEthrower, when a missile silo sent by the fanfiction writers who hate Da Dark One flew in and knocked Da Dark One's head off in an explosion of blood and guts. Spyro just looked oddly at the headless, bleeding corpse, and decided to dance in Da Dark One's blood!
"Somewhere out there, if love can see us through!" Spyro sang. Suddenly, when Spyro arrived at the party, he found everyone was acting crazy on the floor because everyone suddenly all had rabies!!!
All of a sudden Spyro said "Mess with me, get the horns!" So a rabid pink and orange skunk sprayed him! SO SPYRO ATE THE PINK AND ORANGE SKUNK!
"Bleh! What possessed me to do that?" Spyro exclaimed. He looked down at his purple scales, and noticed that they were dyed red by the blood of both an idiotic flamer and a multicolored skunk.
"Hmmm...I wonder where Grendor and Denzel Crocker are?" the dragon inquired. He searched the house, and then he saw Dora and Boots!
"Hola, Spyro!" Dora said happily.
But Spyro said "AAAAAA! EVIL EXPLORERS!" Spyro was about to faint when Swiper came and stole him. Spyro flamed Swiper right on his furry butt!
"ARUGH! You stupid little purple dragon!" yelled Swiper.
"Little?!" said Spyro. This made Spyro a little upset, so he took Swiper and stuffed him in a blender. Then, he bombed the headquarters of Nickelodeon.
"I feel much better," Spyro said as he brushed the debris off his body. He ignored the fact that Grendor was speeding right at him in a large bulldozer.
"Hah!" Grendor yelled. "You'll never escape my bulldozer!" Grendor smashed through a fence with his bulldozer, which immediately fell asleep. He got into a conveniently parked blue VW van, and as Ripto mounted the sunroof with his scepter in hand, Spyro jumped into the gull-winged Volkswagen Beetle and flew off.
Grendor saw the flying Beetle and pointed. "Oooh! Slug Bug!! Five points for me!"
Ripto growled. "I called that one already!"
Grendor turned to Ripto. "No you didn't! The one you called was a hot pink Chevy truck!"
While those two idiots were arguing, Spyro decided to go visit Elora, so he started driving the gull-winged Beetle. Then he realized something important.
"I don't know how to drive a flying car!" (The controls in the flying car are different from a normal car) The car began to spiral downward as Spyro desperately tried to it figure out, when suddenly, Ron and Harry Potter popped out of the glove compartment!
"We can help you fly the car, Spyro, if you wear this pair of women's undergarments." Harry Potter then held out a red thong with diamonds embedded in the front.
Spyro glared at the wizard. "Are you serious? I'm not wearing those!"
Ron shook his head at the dragon. "You'll have to, or else we'll send you to desert island to fend for yourself!"
"Oh no!" Spyro cried. "What will happen then?"
"You will get bitten by Terra's rabid purple weasels, then get sprayed by Tera's pink and orange skunks, after that, the yellow roosters will come and hurt your ears with there clucking, and then rabid refrigerators will chase you!!!!!!!! Murahahahaha!!!"
"Forget this!" said Spyro as he jumped out of the car. Then he remembered he forgot his parachute. Then he remembered he could glide! So he glided downwards when he looked in front of him and saw a large jet coming right at him and said "Holy Mashoogna!" and he landed on top of Elora, who was in a hot air balloon!
"Spyro!" she said. "What are you doing?"
..."Baking double chocolate chip cookies with cheesecake centers. Would you like one?" Spyro asked.
"Uh...Sure!" said Elora. "But first can you help me land this thing?"
Just then a violent wind brewed up, swerving the hot air balloon out of control! With a crash, the balloon imbedded itself into the mountain.
"Elora..." Spyro said slowly. "Do you have a license for this thing?"
Elora shrugged. "No, why do you ask?"
Then a policeman pulled up on a motorcycle.
"Aha! A confession!" he exclaimed as he wrote them a ticket. "Next time, don't forget to brush your teeth after every meal!" said the police officer as he handed her a bowl of spaghetti!
"What am I suppose to do with this?!" Elora asked.
"Lets just say that you need it for your journey to the courthouse. The judge will have to see you and try you! Here turn around while I cuff you."
"No!" Spyro shouted and used his karate-chopping action to free the balloon from the mountain and cause an avalanche! They drifted down to the bottom of the mountain where they landed next to a large volcano, the policeman stumbling after them.
"What do we do now?" Spyro asks, worried.
"I'll tell you what! You're going to the jail!" shouts the enraged policeman. Suddenly the volcano erupts, sending out chunks of lava and ash which turn into mashed potatoes!
Spyro, wading in the goopy spuds said, "Yipes! These potatoes are awful!"
The policeman, whose name was Gordon, shouted, "Blecgh!"
All of a sudden Spyro lamed the potatoes, baking them. That was a bad idea as the potatoes hardened around them and locked them up. Spyro had an idea. He wanted to pig out on as much icecream as he insanely can! But then, Spyro realized that the ice cream truck didn't come to volcanoes. Instead, he decided to make the most of the situation and use his ice breath to make a snow cone. (A volcano filled with ice is a sno-cone, get it?) Elora then pointed at a figure peering at them from a cave.
"Who's that?" she asked. The figure stepped out to reveal hairy Dragon-flesh eating bats!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Moneybags.
"What the hell are you screaming for? You're not a dragon!" Spyro asked. And then, Moneybags reached for a zipper on his back and revealed himself to be a furry alien like ALF.
"Feed me!" he cried out. He crept towards them. Sweat trickled down Spyro's neck. The ALF-like creature drew nearer...and nearer...then suddenly the Ninja Goats arrived! They quickly used their kung-fu action to throw the ALF creature back to his home planet, Melmac. Then the ninjas turned to Spyro, who was again breaking the E-rated games' rule with Elora. One of them tapped Elora on the shoulder, breaking her concentration on Spyro.
"What?" she asked angrily.
"Well," the goat said, "Do you have a spare gun?" the Ninja Goat asked.
"Your asking the wrong guy. You should go to Phaydees! Besides, she is one of you, isn't she?" Spyro replied.
"Well...She's currently having lunch with Changeling and Ripta. If you want to catch her, you can send a letter."
Spyro then handed the ninja goat a piece of paper. "Wart's the best person to deliver a letter to an evil person. After all, he's related to the Flash."
"Oh OK."
But then the ninjas where apprehended by the giant chocolate cake that fell on top them.
"You don't see that everyday!" said Elora.
"Tell me about it! Last time that happened, we weren't in the middle of making out." Spyro smiled an idiotic smile. "Now, where were we...?"
Meanwhile, the real Moneybags was getting ready to wrap the Ninja Goats in Saran wrap and sell them on Bay as collectible figurines! Spyro knew he had to act quickly, so he called upon the Angry Mob to come help him assassinate Gnasty Gnorc. While Spyro and the Angry Mob went to carry out the said task, some Joe-Shmoe from the nearby Albertsons' untied the Ninja Goats. The Ninja Goats then ran to catch up with Spyro and Elora. Then they all beat up Moneybags until he screamed like a girl. Then, to add insult to injury, they dressed him in drag! The Angry Mob took pictures of him and sent them to Reader's Digest!
Gnasty said, "FREAKIN' CADS! WHO IS THAT UGLY CAT THING?!"
Changeling looked up from her horde of magical gems of power. "Who are you calling ugly, you dirty crossbreed?"
"Er..." Gnasty said. "I was just calling this ugly plushie of Bartok an ugly bat thingie!" Gnasty then played hacky-sack with the Bartok plushie.
"Idiot. The only reason I keep him around is because he can turn dragons into crystal. Pretty, magical crystals!" Changeling said, babbling on like a Britney Spears fanatic of 12.
"Ooo...nice crystal!" Gnasty Gnorc said as he picked up the Purple Gigas.
"Wha-? GIVE THAT BACK YOU LITTLE DORK!"
Kevin of Ed Edd and Eddy popped out of a pile of crystals and plucked the Purple Gigas Crystal right out of Gnasty's hands.
Changeling screeched," Get him you idiot!!!!"
Gnasty then got shot in the back of his neck with a dart, and he collapsed onto the ground, dead. Changeling stared blankly at Gnasty's corpse for a moment, then turned around. There, Changeling saw Plank with a gun!
Changeling asked the all-knowing hunk of wood, "Did you forget to ride downstream to my grammas?"
The plank shot Changeling and rode downstream to grammas. When the plank knocked on the door, Bianca answered the door with an axe in her hand and shapeshifted into Zoloe!
"Oh away now, you idiot And get some ice cream! Then put some rainbow sprinkles on it and..."
Zoloe was cut off by Changeling, who was still lying on the ground. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm lying here in my own blood. Erm, can one of you help me up?"
Plank and Zoloe looked at each other. "How did you survive that?" Zoloe asked.
Changeling smiled weakly. "Easy! I have this magic power that keeps me from dying when I get mortally wounded." Changeling stumbled to the door. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go seduce-er, ask Ivo for his Chaos Emeralds."
Changeling sailed away on a boat that she conjured up on the spot, leaving behind a trail of cheese.
"WAIT A MINUTE!!!!" yelled Spyro. "This story is supposed to be about ME!"
"Oh, put a sock in it!" said Changeling. Spyro then kicked the deranged cat in the shins!
Changeling shouted at the top of her lungs, "I'm a way better character then you in this story! I kill people and own magical jewelry! Let's see you do better!"
Spyro considered the idea. "Okay, then I challenge you to a race around yourself!"
Spyro took off, running around Changeling. Changeling, who although had magic, could not clone herself to race around her. Spyro won, and started to gloat.
"Ha! I told you I'd win! Now you have to eat worms til you throw up!" Spyro gloated.
"WHAT?! There's no way I'm doing that! Go jump off a bridge!"
"Okay!" said Spyro and he jumped into Moneybags' arms, who then started kissing Spyro and telling Spyro he loved him! Spyro now in need of total serious therapy began jabbing the bear with a sharp, pointy stick and screaming as he ran away like a baby. He ran and ran through the forest until he reached a clearing. Behind him, Changeling was catching up. Spyro could only do one thing. He RAN AWAAAAAY! Forgetting about the crying Moneybags, Spyro then quickly reached out and grabbed the only person that could distract an evil tyrant; her lackey.
"Quick! Distract her!" Spyro yelled to Wart. The dragon gave him a weird look.
"Are you nuts? She tortured me in one story, and she's not going to torture me in this story! I still have scars from the time she whacked me with a cheese grater! And that hurt like being branded."
"Oh come on!" said Spyro, "If you do I'll give you a daiquary!"
"Well why don't we just make a dummy of you?"
"Are you calling me stupid?" Spyro asked.
Wart answered him quickly with, "No, no, of course not. We'll make a toy version of you."
"Better yet, why don't we just take one from our writers?" Spyro reached out of the story and grabbed a small, bean-filled plushie that resembled Wart. If he was pudgy, soft, and had beads for eyes, that is.
"Who would buy this thing?" Spyro asked.
Wart shrugged and said, "Simple, the people who buy it are under age. But they still have money so I don't really care."
"Oh. What else do you sell?"
"I sell small plush dolls of other Spyro fanfics' fancharacters. Phaydees and Changeling are favorites for some reason, and my own plush is actually getting to be quite pricey on Ebay."
"I see," said Changeling, who had caught up with them because of their talk of fan-plushes. "Well, I hope you won't mind me taking over your little business, Wart, because... Oh, I look so cute! Where did you get the materials to make this?
"Oh," Wart replied, thinking of an answer. "I actually got them from eBay. I also got this mirror and this floss from there for only 69 cents!" Wart said, holding up the mirror and floss.
"My God, you're a supplier of high-priced merchandise! Do you know what that means?" Changeling shouted.
Wart could only shake his head in confusion.
"That means that we're now RICH! I'm financially secure! I'm in the zone! People all over the world are buying plushies bearing my image!" Phaydees interrupted Wart, who had started bouncing off the walls.
"Dang, and I finally thought I found a voo-doll of Phaydees," Ripto said and found a Moneybags voodoo doll and began stabbing it with needles as hard as he could.
"I don't think that's Phaydees, Ripto." Wart explained.
"What do you mean? It's fat and ugly like Phaydees!" Ripto snarled.
He then felt a stinging sensation in his stomach as Phaydees kicked him! Ripto doubled over as Phaydees pulled out an ice cream sandwich and ate it. She crushed the wrapper between her hooves and threw it at Ripto, who was now regaining his composure.
"You stupid goat! How could you just kick me like that?!"
"Easy, I don't care about you or your appetite!"
He snorted. "Yeah well..."
And she kicked Ripto between the eyes. Ouch.
Wart shook his head in shame. "Whenever I open my mouth, either I or someone else gets hurt!"
Changeling smiled, enjoying the violence as much as a lion enjoys a hunt. "Kick him harder, Phaydees! Aim at the nose!" Phaydees did so, and Ripto began to bleed.
"Good riddance." Spyro said. He was about to add another comment when all of a sudden Ripta walked in and looked around.
"Hey, what's going on?" she asked.
"Well," said Changeling, "Ivo's here!" She ran up to the fat, egg-like man and hugged him as he exited his Egg Walker.
"Agh, Meowie, remember our talk about space?"
"Oh, sorry Ivo." Changeling introduced Ripta and Phaydees to her boyfriend and fellow ultimate gem collector.
"Nice to meet you, Phaydees, Ripta," the evil doctor said. "Say, Meowie, why didn't you throw an eggplant at Moneybags?"
"Can you blame me?" Changeling asked. "The only thing that grows in my backyard are a whole bunch of toilet trees. You're one crazy boyfriend, Eggman."
"Oh, you know how much I like it when you call me that, Meowie." Dr. Robotnik said, holding her hand.
Meanwhile, Wart and Spyro started sneaking off. "Hey, what do you two think you're doing?" Robotnik called after them.
"Well..." Wart began. He'd never addressed the Dr. Ivo Robotnik before, and he was positively nervous. He had bad luck with evil overlords. Changeling had beaten and mutated him for nine years, Cortex had a restraining order against him after he broke his prized golden statue, and Bowser was downright disgusted by the dragon.
"We were...going for a walk?" Wart said hesitantly.
"Hah, do you really think you can change the subject?! I have a better IQ than that!" Challenging yelled. While they were ranting, Spyro realized that this story is getting WAY longer than he thought, and glared at the author known as Cocho.
"HEY! When is this thing gonna end?! There's nine pages on this story!" Spyro yelled.
"What do you want me to do about it? There's 13 members on this forum. Sue me!" Cocho's voice rang.
"FINE! You'll be hearing from my MOM! I love my mom! And my dad! If I have a mom or dad."
"Oh you do, trust me." Eggman said. "Even Sonic has parents, though he doesn't talk much..."
"Seriously, where's this going anyway?" a voice asked. It was Ripto, who had been ignored for a while. "If anyone's in their right mind, as soon as this hits 10 pages, it should be published!"
The others agreed. The whole thing was getting long and complicated. Almost as if it had been written by a bunch of people nowhere near each other...
"Hey, can we get back to the story?" Wart yelled from inside the computers of the many authors. "I thought we would finish this thing soon!"
Spyro yelled at Wart now. "We are, pickle! Now help me prop up this rock so that we can jump over the proverbial fourth wall and beat up the authors of this for making such a crazy story!" Spyro said.
"Any more exclamations like that, and you won't need to jump over it, from the way you shamelessly break it!" Ripto yelled. He was then promptly high-fived by Darkeiya, who likes to break the fourth wall for entertainment.
"Ummm...Guys?" The dragon and Riptoc ignored the pleas as Wart was dragged away by Eggman and Changeling, who were going to use him for a pinyata!
"Uh...we can deal with them later. Ok, everyone take a HUGE dictionary and stack it! That way we'll be able to reach the fourth wall." Spyro ordered.
"Well, if your sooo smart, how come you didn't figure that out before?! And I don't need to listen to you!" Ripto said.
"YEAH!" All the other villains said.
"Well...how come you didn't use your magic to get rid of me? I'm right here you know!"
Phaydees smiled evilly and untied Ripto. Then, all of the villains heard an ice cream truck and screamed "ICE CREAM!!!!" Spyro was almost trampled by all the villains. They pooled their cash and bought all the ice cream in the truck.
"That's going straight to your thighs, Changeling!" Wart said as he dangled pathetically on a string in a tree. Changeling only ignored him as she ate a mountain of Otter Pops.
"Let's open that piñata already!" Gnasty hollered as he ate a chocolate sandwich that made him have a brain freeze! "MY BRAIN!" Gnasty yelled.
"...gee, I'm the only one who's accomplishing the fact of taking over the forum." DarkShade said.
"Hey...where'd you come from?! And who said anything about taking over the forum?" Phaydees asked.
"Your autobiography, Goat to Goth: 20 Ways to Rule the World."
"I never wrote an autobiography!" Phaydees yelled extremely loudly, breaking the fourth wall to pieces and allowing fangirls and characters to meet, resulting in some very painful glomps.
Ripto was now caught between two very zealous fangirls. "Augh, get off me! I hate dragons! And I hate fangirls much more!"
A lone figure stood behind the area where the fourth wall was. "Don't worry, I have a solution to all this." He said. He was the Biggest T.Rex they ever saw! He roared and stomped around, then walked away. Then all of a sudden a large purple bird fluttered down, holding a hammer and a couple planks of wood in his talons.
"Okay." Doomfeather, the official muse of Turquoisephoenix and MSTer of fanfiction, yelled. "Who broke the already flimsy fourth wall?"
Everyone pointed at Phaydees, except Phaydees, for she was pointing at the warty piñata hanging from the tree. "What's the big deal? Authors break the fourth wall all the time!"
"Yeah, I guess I couldn't punish you for a thing like that, but then again, punishment would be just so much funner!" Doomfeather handed Phaydees the hammer and planks. "Phaydees! Your punishment is a week in a pink, fuzzy room with a strait jacket on!" Doomfeather said.
Ojo just randomly walked in for the moment. "Trust me. I've had bad issues in there." Ojo said, and walked through the broken fourth wall.
"WAIT, DON'T GO IN THERE! YOU'LL DIE!!!" Ripto screamed.
"Wait a minute, since when do you care about Phaydees?" asked Spyro
"Erm... I think someone spiked my Pepsi. Yeah." Ripto muttered.
"Hey guys, I just updated 'Going Beyond' on !" Cocho's voice rang.
"Ok...what does that have to do with ANYTHING in this story?!" Ojo yelled.
"YEAH?!" All of them yelled.
"Sheesh! Sorry for caring about your obsession with pizza! I'll just eat it all by myself! Then I'll finish up this story! Soon, please!"
"Oh, come on. This is fun." It was the Kung-Fu Echidna, who had come from his own universe to torment the others as well. "You people are joking, right?
Roo hopped in too. "What'd I miss?"
Spyro explained everything to the yellow furred kangaroo slowly. "Oh." she said afterwards. "Then how come no one mentioned this to us in the first place?!" Roo asked.
"Well...it involves a matter that ties egotistical fanfic writers with their crazy creations. I mean, do I normally hang out with hybrids with skin conditions? NO!" Spyro stated.
"Hey! I resent that!" Wart shouted, still tied to a rope holding him in a position for an old-fashioned piñata beating.
Spyro just eyed the weird-looking Spanish gift of candy and then turned back to Roo. "Moving on, I think that this is a good time to end the story."
"Awwwwwwwwwwww!" all the characters and people in this forum groaned at the same time.
At that moment, a giant "THE END" fell from the sky and landed on everybody, who in response lifted it up in order to make a sequel in another thread.
THE END
(So, people, there you have it. That is one of the many things that happens in the SFA forums.)
