Part Two

Two Weeks Later…

May 16, 2004

"I'm fine, Piper," Phoebe lied when her sister entered her bedroom. She quickly pushed aside her laptop and the pile of mail to make room for Piper.

"Then why don't I believe you?" Piper questioned as she sat down with a slight groan. She rubbed her belly and muttered, "How can someone so skinny make me gain so much weight?"

Phoebe chuckled and lightly patted her sister's belly. "At least he's more well-behaved than Wyatt was. You haven't had any side effects with your powers." She took in her sister's exhausted appearance and volunteered, "With Wyatt asleep and Paige out, why don't I take care of the club tonight so you can enjoy a quiet night of solitude?"

Piper shook her head, "I'm fine. A little slow-moving but I can still go to work. Besides, you're the one who should be taking it easy. How's your shoulder?"

"Fine," Phoebe assured her sister. "Just another bruise added to the collection. Nothing to worry about."

Piper clearly didn't believe her but sighed, "And didn't you say you wanted to put in some extra time on your column?"

"It's not like I'm behind," Phoebe told her, "but it doesn't hurt to have some extra ones handy just in case."

"In case they're not as good because you can't pick up on the writers' emotions anymore?" Piper warily asked.

Phoebe denied her sister's implication and corrected, "In case Elise decides to make changes, I want some substitutions ready. Or in case I have to leave in the middle of the day for some demonic emergency, I want something to get her of my back."

Piper accepted her sister's logic but still felt Phoebe wasn't quite herself. "Has Paige called? She left to pick up those herbs in Chinatown hours ago."

Phoebe nodded with a grin. "She ran into an old friend and impulsively went to dinner with him. I'm certainly glad we didn't need to call her tonight to vanquish that Migbannel. She would've complained about the interruption and the gooey mess."

"I still think we should've," Piper frowned. "You, we, shouldn't be taking unnecessary risks." But she instantly realized her insensitivity and quickly added, "I'm glad about Paige too. Her split with Richard really hurt and I think she's been hoping he'd change his mind especially since you've accepted your power loss but can still live with us."

"Completely different situation," Phoebe argued before she slid off the bed, gently pulled her sister up, and led Piper to the door. "Now go take a nice warm shower while I get dressed for the club. And don't worry 'bout a thing. I've run it often enough in your absence to know what to do."

"I am worried about a thing," Piper insisted when she stood her ground in the doorway. Phoebe seemed taken aback and she softly explained, "I'm worried about you. We just had our third attack in a week-and-a-half and you were almost killed tonight all because you didn't have your powers."

Phoebe rolled her eyes, "You're exaggerating. Didn't even need to call for Leo."

"Changing the subject doesn't change the fact," Piper went on, "that you're finally facing the reality of a magical life without your powers."

Suddenly annoyed, Phoebe reminded her, "Temporarily…Or don't you think I'll be able to earn them back?"

"Of course I do," Piper quickly assured her younger sister with a hug. "I just wish you didn't have to. Both Paige and I still think you got the raw end of the deal and we're worried about you. You're either at work or at home or fighting some demon and you haven't gone out on a single date in three weeks and --"

"I needed a break," Phoebe hastily interrupted. "I was pushing too hard, trying to force something to happen. And that's part of the reason why I lost my powers. I got so obsessed with the idea of having a baby, a family, that I lost sight of why I wanted one. To fulfill some premonition? For someone whose power was based on emotion, I not only ignored the ones of the men I was dating but I'd completely lost track of my own."

"Is that why you've…"

"What?" Phoebe encouraged when Piper suddenly stopped speaking. She hadn't missed the odd looks Piper'd been giving her lately. And she was sure Piper and Paige were always talking about her, the way they'd clam up whenever she'd enter the room. "Piper…What's going on?"

"I told you I'm worried about you," Piper replied. "You've seemed more melancholy lately, more reflective." Phoebe seemed a bit embarrassed and Piper shamefully confessed, "I've been watching you. Not spying, per se. It's just that I've sometimes walked into the room and seen you sitting by your laptop, staring absentmindedly at the screen. Or I've passed by and noticed you curled up on the couch, when you thought you were alone, hugging a pillow. I just…I know, sweetie, I know you've been thinking about him. And I want you to know it's okay but you can't let it take over. You've got to move on just like you did before."

Phoebe looked down at the floor before she turned away from Piper. She stared at her messy bed, hugged herself, and quietly admitted, "Those holograms of him, the ones shown at the trial…God, seeing him again…I didn't realize how much I'd forgotten…blocked out. Not just how he looked or how he sounded but the way he moved, the way -- I guess I've started questioning some of it."

"Nothing that happened was your fault," Piper warily commented, afraid of where Phoebe was going with the conversation.

"We faced a lot of truths because of the Tribunal," Phoebe shook her head, "at least I did. And I think I've finally accepted the fact that part of the blame for what happened lies with me. It has to...I was there, I was part of it." She heard Piper's gasp of indignation, quickly faced her sister, and held up her hand to keep Piper from speaking. "If I hadn't acted out of anger and fear, I might've been able to help Cole. Instead of showing him compassion, I went after him, accused him of being the very cause of whatever evil was going on in our lives. Barbas was right. I drove Cole to that state. Instead of being able to turn to me, he turned to liquor…He turned to evil. I'm not saying those guys in the bar didn't deserve to be punished but Cole killed them. And it seemed to me that it was more because they'd annoyed him by interrupting his drink than because he thought they'd deserved it."

"Cole was a demon," Piper said through clenched teeth. She didn't want to get into this old argument with her sister. "Just like Barbas himself admitted. He couldn't help it and didn't regret it."

Phoebe sadly disagreed, "Cole wasn't like any other demon. He gave up everything for love and love did nothing but bite him in the ass."

"Phoebe!"

Phoebe tried to ignore her sister's outrage and commented, "I'm not saying I would've wanted to continue a relationship with him but, Piper, I owed him a hell of a lot more than I gave."

"You gave him every chance," Piper snapped, "before and after he became the Source. After he came back, you told him how you felt, how it was over. Listen to me, Phoebe, it's not your fault he wouldn't let go. He's the one who went insane, not you. And convincing yourself it was isn't healthy. You were in a good place before this damned trial. Look what Barbas's done – He's tapped into your fears again and --"

"No," Phoebe quietly insisted. "This isn't Barbas talking. It's me, Piper. It's me taking responsibility. That's what this verdict is all about. Of course I'm still angry with Cole for what happened. And I'm still hurt. Did you really think I wanted it to end that way? But I can't keep living in denial that I was wrong too."

Not what Piper wanted to hear, she shook her head and rationalized, "You're feeling this way because you had that premonition about being pregnant right after your breakup with Jason and now that you've lost your powers you --"

Phoebe wasn't up for being psychoanalyzed and interrupted, "That has nothing to do with Cole. It was the holograms that triggered all these memories."

Unsure what else she could say without starting a fight, Piper simply told her honestly, "I'm sorry."

Phoebe cleared her throat, "Don't be. Not all of them were bad." Having had enough, she lovingly shoved Piper into the hallway. "I love you…Now go and let me take care of you for a change."

Knowing it was best to let the matter drop for now, Piper caressed her sister's cheek and promised, "I'm here for you, sweetie, whenever you're ready to talk about…whatever and whomever."

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