Part Ten

Two Months Later…

July 24, 2002

The knocking on her office door startled her and Phoebe dropped the pen on the papers she'd been about to sign. "Come in," she unenthusiastically called out.

Paige peeked in, "I ran into Elise on my way in and didn't get the impression she was too happy I was stopping by."

Phoebe waved her sister in, "Been a busy day, I guess. The column's doing surprisingly well so they want to push the publicity and Elise's trying to arrange some radio spots for me. Maybe some public appearances too."

"Cool!" Paige grinned. "I bet you'll be the next media darling and we'll be seeing your face all over town." Phoebe shrugged but Paige had already continued, "Sure, your name'll be on billboards, posters, and -- Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Phoebe lied as she tried to stuff the papers into their manila envelope.

But Paige recognized the format of the papers and her sister's tear-stained cheeks suddenly registered. "Are those them?" she wondered aloud. But before Phoebe could respond, Paige had quickly rushed over and pulled her sister into an awkward hug. "I can't believe he had the gall to have them sent here."

"Would you rather he'd've delivered them in person? Or at the house?" Phoebe countered as she pushed herself free. She pulled out the papers again and looked at them. "It's so final," she whispered.

"So? You need to move on and you can't if you're still married to him. This's for the best," Paige assured her.

"Is it?" Phoebe mused to herself.

"Y'know, Phoebe," Paige began with a hint of annoyance, "maybe if you shared that premonition with me and Piper, we'd be able to help you through this and you wouldn't act as if the world's coming to an end. For crying out loud, Cole was the damned Source of all Evil!"

"Not like he asked to be," Phoebe murmured. But Paige still glared back at her and, knowing her sisters were more frustrated with the fact that she shared the premonition with Cole alone than with the fact that she was still concerned about his future, Phoebe still found herself apologizing. "I know you both mean well but it's bad enough I know what's supposed to happen. Or what was supposed to happen." She sighed and leaned back in her chair, "It's so hard to decide what's okay to do over, what isn't…I've no idea how badly I've changed anything or everything and I can't dump this knowledge on you both. Especially not when Piper's at the beginning of her pregnancy."

Paige stood with her hands on her hips and snapped, "So it's okay for Phoebe to act the martyr?"

Phoebe stared at her sister in surprise, "Is that what you think I'm doing?"

"Isn't it?" Paige challenged. "You've got all the answers but instead of letting us help you make choices, you're playing God and deciding for us what's in our own best interests." She threw her hands up in the air and exclaimed, "And you don't even know if you're saving the right parts of your future! And what makes you think either Piper or I wouldn't want things to be different? Let's say I get burned by a guy, shouldn't I be the one to decide if I want it to happen?"

"Why would you want to be hurt," Phoebe countered, "if I could help you avoid it without you knowing it?"

Paige frowned, "Because maybe we need to be hurt. Being hurt sometimes is the very thing that makes us stronger. And who's to say that being hurt wouldn't end up leading me to something even better? Didja ever think a good thing might not happen if a bad one's been eliminated first?"

"Of course I did," Phoebe hissed. "Why the hell do you think this's so hard for me? All this knowledge and not knowing if I'm making the future better or worse?"

Paige folded her arms across her chest. "Y'know, justice has a way of being served whether you like it or not. You can't control everything so it's pointless to try."

"So we're back to Cole again," Phoebe sighed as she rolled back her chair, stood up, and faced her sister. "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm sorry for what happened. I'm sorry Cole became the Source. I'm sorry I became the Queen. I'm sorry I carried the next Source. I'm sorry I forced you to vanquish us to the Wasteland. And I'm sorry you think I'm betraying you again by trying to protect him now."

"It wasn't your fault and you are divorcing him," Paige mumbled, feeling slightly guilty for pushing her sister. She knew Phoebe had suffered badly and shouldn't be reminding Phoebe of it when she was supposed to be cheering up Phoebe.

"Tell me something," Phoebe requested, "and I want the truth. If your spell had worked and you'd've gotten me out of the Wasteland with that vortex, would you've tried to save Cole too? Would you've helped me try?" Paige didn't answer and Phoebe nodded, "That's another reason why I haven't told you about the premonition." Paige seemed confused and hurt so she explained, "A lot of what happened had to do with Cole and I don't see that you or Piper can look at it objectively which, considering that I was the one who lived it, is the only way you'd be able to even begin to understand."

Hurt by Phoebe's lack of faith in her ability to support her own sister, Paige softly appealed, "Don't underestimate us."

"Doesn't feel good, huh," Phoebe uttered before she apologized. These sisters hadn't underestimated her, at least not about her having lost her powers…at least not yet. Would she ever stop feeling as if she'd lived those two years? Would it ever seem like a dream? "Look, I love you and I love Piper but I'm scared for you both. I'm scared that any slip by me will ruin whatever good happened to you and I'm scared that not doing anything will mean the bad will happen again."

"You told Piper she was having a boy," Paige reminded her.

"I don't think that'll change anything but our surprise on the day he's born," Phoebe quipped. "I can't tell you about the day he's born or his name because what happens if the events leading up to it are changed?"

"So what if they are?" Paige questioned. "What if it's better than what you saw? Don't you see? If you share the premonition with us, we can all decide and see what's in our best interest." But Phoebe seemed ready to fall apart so Paige hugged her. "I love you but I wish you would let us help you." She felt Phoebe's head nod and she pulled back, took a deep breath, and promised, "But we'll back off. Just…"

"Just?" Phoebe asked warily.

Paige went to the door and turned back to her sister, "Just remember when you follow your heart that sometimes you have to let others fall if only to be there to catch them."

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