Defending Bjork

Chapter 4: Immaculate Misdemeanors

A/N: Because it took me soo long to update last time, I'm giving you guys two chapters in two days. Don't get too used to it though. *chuckle* I'm not THAT good. Even though this part concludes "The Bracebridge Dinner," it isn't the end of this fic. Don't worry. There'll be more. I want to give a shout-out to my little sister for reading the chapters for me and assuring me that they aren't crap. I appreciate it. Enjoy! Oh, and review. I deserve it after all this hard work, no? ;) ~Becka


"Jesus!" Jess groaned in annoyance, yanking the blankets up over his head in an effort to block out the blinding sunlight that was now streaming in through the unobstructed windows. "Do you mind?"

"What?" Luke asked, his gruff voice carrying through the mound of blankets.

"Some of us are trying to sleep."

"You can't still be tired! It's 8 in the morning. You got at least nine hours of sleep."

"Go away!" Jess ordered, his command losing some of its force, given its muffled tone.

"Aren't you Mary Sunshine this morning?" Luke teased.

"I'm serious, Luke. Go away!"

Grinning, Luke approached the bed and grabbed the blankets off Jess's head. Jess immediately squinted against the bright light, and his arm flew up to cover his aching eyes. Once he'd recovered slightly from the shock of the morning, he sat up a little, leaned back on his elbows, and shot his uncle a look of death. Then, through clenched teeth, he said angrily, "I'm warning you. Juvenile delinquency is a slippery slope, and I'm fast approaching homicidal levels."

"Good to know you wake up a smart ass. Wouldn't want you to waste any time."

"You mean like what you're doing right now?" Jess shot back.

Luke scowled. "Go back to sleep."

"Gladly," Jess answered as he whipped his pillow off the bed, lay back down, and crushed it across his face.

"Smothering. Now why didn't I think of that?"

"Are you still here?" Jess asked in annoyance.

Chuckling, Luke shook his head and walked from the room.


"Wake up, Pretty Girl," Lorelai sang from where she was kneeling by the side of the bed.

Laboriously, Rory dragged her eyes open and looked at her mother. "Morning," she mumbled.

"Afternoon, actually."

"Really?" Rory asked, rubbing her eyes.

"Yup. You sure were sleeping there, Missy. I thought Freddy sucked you into his world forever."

"You promised never to mention that movie again."

"Oops, right. Forgot. Remind me not to let my next child watch that at the tender age of ten."

"If I forget, Child Protection's still watching you."

"Mm… right. Guess I should go take those sharp knives out of the crib then."

Rory smiled and sat up, stretching her arms over her head. "Is anyone up yet?"

"Everyone's just getting moving. Except Luke. According to Michel, he was up and reading the paper at eight this morning."

"Poor Jess," Rory crooned, shaking her head sympathetically.

"What?"

"Nothing. I better go take a shower."

"Good idea. The continental brunch buffet is being laid out as we speak, so you better hurry if you want some scones."

"There are scones?"

"There just might be," Lorelai said, smiling knowingly.

"I'm up!"

"That's my girl!"


"Wow! I don't know if I've ever seen this much food in one place," Rory said in awe, gazing wide-eyed at the massive brunch buffet.

"What about the time you and your mom insisted on taste testing every brand of chocolate bar in an effort to find the perfect candy bar?" Lane asked.

"Nope, doesn't compare. You know, we never could decide between Snickers and Zero."

"The Zero bar, a retro classic," Lane confirmed, nodding.

"Yes, true. But Snickers really satisfies," Rory pointed out.

"I can see how the choice could be difficult."

"Impossible."

"Wow, this is a lot of food," Lane agreed.

"I know. I don't even know where to start."

Lane hands her a plate. "The pastries, my friend. One always starts at the pastries."

"Of course, I must be losing my mind."

"An empty stomach and three tables full of food can do that to a person."

"Lane!" a voice yelled from behind the girls.

"Uh-oh. Mama Kim heading this way," Rory narrated. "Quick, put down the cinnamon roll. There's still time."

Slyly, Lane turned to face her mother, returning the cinnamon roll she held behind her back to the serving platter.

"Mama," Lane greeted her, smiling.

"What are you doing?" Mrs. Kim asked.

"Just talking with Rory and getting some breakfast."

Mrs. Kim peered around them at the tables. "There's nothing here you should eat. You'll eat at home."

"Yes, Mama."

"C'mon, let's go. Goodbye, Rory. Thank you for dinner."

"You're welcome, Mrs. Kim. Thanks for coming," Rory replied graciously.

"Okay," Mrs. Kim said with a slight nod of her head. Then, she turned and left the serving area.

"Bye, Rory," Lane sighed. "Thanks for the save."

"Anytime."

Lane quickly brought her fingers to her mouth and licked off the frosting left behind by the cinnamon roll.

"Wow, that's good!" she enthused.

"I'll save you one for later."

"You're such a good friend."

"I try. You better go."

Lane smiled and ran to catch up with her mother.


Jess strolled down the stairs and into the Inn's entrance, going completely unnoticed by any of the other visitors as they milled about and chatted with one another. He held his coat behind his back, trying to hide it from view. He was so tired last night that he'd forgotten to leave it downstairs where everyone expected it to be. So much for the perfect crime.

Glancing around furtively, he walked casually towards the coat rack. He was within a few feet of it when a voice startled him.

"Well, look who finally decided to grace us with his presence," Luke proclaimed.

Rolling his eyes, Jess turned to face him. "Huh, if it isn't Mr. Fussy."

"Huh?"

"Actually, you kind of l0ok more like Mr. Brave," Jess observed. "But, as far as your personality, I'd go with Mr. Fussy. Or maybe Mr. Grumble. I haven't quite decided yet."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'll explain it when you're older."

"You do that," Luke said, deciding it was best to just ignore his nephew. "So, was thirteen hours enough for you?"

"I was shooting for fourteen, but, you know me, I'm not really the achieving type."

Luke glanced down and saw the coat clutched in Jess's hand. "What's that? You think you're ditching out of here early or something?"

"Aw, would you miss me, Uncle Luke? I feel so special."

"You're not leaving 'til I can leave," Luke said, pointing at Jess. "And Lorelai said I can't leave until I say goodbye."

"She'll see you in a few hours at the diner," Jess retorted.

"I know, but you know Lorelai. When she gets a thought into her head, logic is useless."

Jess smirked. "How does it feel, Uncle Luke?"

"How does what feel?"

"Being Lorelai's patsy."

"I am not Lorelai's patsy."

"Right," Jess chided. "I'm sure you came to this thing for the fancy food."

"Stop."

"Like squash soup, do you, Uncle Luke?"

"Are you done?"

"And then, to top it all off, you can't leave without saying goodbye. That's soo precious."

"I'm not letting you leave, no matter what you say, so you might as well shut up and give your coat to the nice coat … rack … guy… or whatever… over there," he said, gesturing in the general direction of the front door.

"Fine," Jess griped. "If you promise I can watch you swoon at Lorelai's feet later."

"Go!" Luke ordered.

Pleased with himself, Jess walked over to the coat rack. As he was about to hand his coat to the man, he remembered Rory's mitten. Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled it out. Then, he absentmindedly handed the coat over and searched the rack for Rory's jacket. Not finding it, he sighed and glanced around the rest of the lobby. He was about to give up when he saw a pile of luggage on the floor in a corner. Judging from the Powerpuff Girls backpack, he was pretty sure it was exactly what he was looking for. Checking for witnesses, he walked over. Right below the backpack was Rory's coat. He grinned and reached down, shoving the mitten into the pocket.


After brunch, Rory was standing with her mother, busy saying goodbye to their guests, when she heard Clara, Dean's sister, call out to her.

"Thanks, Rory."

Walking over to them, Rory smiled. "Clara, I'm glad you came."

"So I'll see you later," Dean confirmed, giving his girlfriend a wide smile.

"Don't kiss," Clara pleaded.

"Aw, come on."

"Don't kiss," she repeated.

Dean paused, then covered Clara's eyes. Rory leaned forward, placed her hands on either side of his face, and gave him a quick kiss.

"Come on," Clara said, pulling on Dean's sleeve impatiently.

"So I guess we're off," he said to Rory as he was pulled away by his sister.

"I guess so."

Rory smiled as she watched Dean go and then had just turned to locate her mother when her eyes fell on Jess. She hadn't seen him all morning, but, then again, she'd been distracted playing assistant hostess for the Inn's guests. Jess glanced up at that moment and met her gaze, his mouth turning up in a half-smirk. He quickly looked in the direction of Dean and then turned back to her, amusement dancing in his eyes. She wasn't sure if he was hinting at their Dean-related conversation the night before or if he was subtly reminding her of her little foray into criminal activity. Either way, the wild pounding of her heart as he looked at her made her nervous, and she looked away.

"Bye, you guys!" Lorelai said, breaking off her conversation with Luke. Jess turned and followed his uncle to the door, and Rory turned her attention to her mother. "Ugh, let's go home," Lorelai urged.

"Are we coming to get our bags later?"

"Why?"

"Because we're walking home," Rory pointed out. "I don't want to carry 'em."

"Who says we're walking?"


Minutes later, Lorelai and Rory were riding across town in a horse-drawn sleigh.

"This is the only way to ride," Lorelai gushed.

"I wholeheartedly agree."

Smiling, Lorelai looked around town. Her eyes soon fell on the once-glorious, now-demolished snow sculpture extraordinaire. "Whoa, what happened there?"

Rory followed Lorelai's gaze. Then, with her eyes glinting devilishly and her mouth turned up in a satisfied, amused smirk, she glanced at her mother. "I have no idea," she stated innocently.

"Bad news for ringer guy," Lorelai said. Then, grinning wildly, she added, "But guess who wins by default?"

"I guess that would be us," Rory said, smiling as she turned in her seat to gaze over the back of the sleigh at the destruction she and Jess had wreaked.